How to fix a relationship?

How do you fix a relationship with a guy?

Before looking for an answer to the question of how to fix a relationship with a guy, let’s try to figure out the most common reasons for the cooling of the relationship.

Habit. Time is known to heal, that is, smooths and dulls the pain. But it does not do so only with pain. It blunts the sharpest and most vivid feelings, including those that you evoked in each other at the beginning of acquaintance. It is inevitable, like sunset after sunrise. You have to accept it, but it’s still worth fighting it from time to time.

Mistrust. One of you two may have told an untruth. It doesn’t matter what it was about or why it was done. Any lie is detrimental to a relationship, and even a small and unimportant untruth can be the seed from which a huge and rampant mistrust will grow.

Inattention. It happens that the relationship gets bored and one of the partners, in search of new sensations, looks for and finds a hobby or hobby. If the hobby is very interesting and fascinating, but the partner is still the same and does not arouse stormy emotions, he may be left without attention at all. This can be very frustrating and unpleasant and often leads to quarrels and scandals.

Mismatch of temperaments. One likes to lie on the couch in front of the TV, the other in his spare time prefers to climb mountains or sail the seas. One likes fun hangouts, the other likes silence and good books. When your feelings were fresh, you were willing to make mutual concessions, and you were interested in spending time in unusual ways, the ones your other half likes. But after a while, each of you is likely to return to old habits and the way of life that suits his temperament. And each partner will be dissatisfied with the other’s behavior.

Once you understand why there was a rift in your couple, it will be clearer to you what to do to get back the feelings and the relationship that you had before. The following tips will help you get your relationship with your boyfriend back on track:

New and unexpected. Use any ways to break the routine in a good way. Change your dating places, travel, even if it’s to the next town or the next forest, make changes to your image from time to time. You can also make changes in the image of your young man, if he will not strongly resist. Study the appropriate literature and make positive changes in your intimate life. Try to have some hobbies together, this will help you see a new side of each other.

Get into his interests. Of course, you have a huge pile of your own worries, but if you want to further develop your relationship, you need to know and understand what your lover lives by. Let his work for you – a set of unknown words and incomprehensible actions, as well as his hobbies. Try to get into it. Most likely, everything is not so terrible and he does quite mundane and quite explainable things. Which do not always go the right way. And when things go wrong, the person needs someone to share his problems with, and that “someone” for him must be you.

Give him freedom. No need to surround him with your attention and your love twenty-four hours a day. Sometimes it’s very useful to be away from each other, to miss each other, to get new experiences to share. Let him go without you to the soccer game, which you hate anyway, or go fishing with friends. Meanwhile, you go shopping or go with friends to the melodrama, where he never and for no reason will go.

Trust. No need to check his pockets, examine his cell phone for suspicious contacts and sniff him for foreign scents every time he spent a few hours away from you. Such behavior only provokes conflicts and in no way contributes to fidelity.

Don’t lie. Sometimes it seems that a little lie won’t hurt anyone. And that it is easier to lie than to explain long and confusingly the motives and reasons for some of your actions. Don’t lie to him that you were at his mother’s house when you stayed up late with your girlfriends for a cup of tea. Maybe he called your mother. And, maybe sometime later, when you forget about this incident, your mother when we met, will say that she spent the night at the cottage on the twentieth, and this is the day when you were supposed to be with her, and your lover will remember it. Then it will be much harder to explain his words and his actions.

How do you fix a relationship with a guy?

Be cheerful and casual. Sometimes you may need his help or advice in solving some problems, but this does not mean that every meeting should begin with complaints and complaining about life, colleagues, parents and everyone else. Do not program it for unpleasant emotions, do not develop a conditioned reflex that your appearance – it is the appearance of something negative. It is necessary to do absolutely the opposite. He should know that where you are, there is a good mood, smiles, laughter, and all-round support.

Don’t argue. Get your way in more subtle ways. When he says or suggests something that you don’t like or don’t agree with, hold back, be quiet, don’t jump into action immediately, smashing all his arguments in bits and pieces. Listen to him until the end. Ask questions. Ask for clarification. Suggest that he might consider other options. Maybe he will suggest what is on the tip of your tongue. If not, encourage him to do so.

Positive language. When you want something or, conversely, do not want something from your boyfriend, phrase your requests in a positive way. And, if possible, be specific. Men don’t understand vague hints very well. Not “You never give me flowers” or “You’re always ready to go out with friends, but with me do not go anywhere,” but “I would be very pleased if you gave me my favorite white roses at least a couple of times a month” or “Let’s go tomorrow to an Italian restaurant. All the rebuke phrases that start with “You always. ” or “You never. ” is best forgotten.

Sometimes misunderstandings and disagreements between lovers go so far that they break up. But after a while, after realizing that they can’t live without each other, they reconnect.

How to fix a relationship

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We all dread relationship breakups, especially if we value them. But how do we learn to distinguish between minor obstacles and serious problems? How can you smooth out the unpleasant moments in a relationship? Read on to learn how to use problems to your advantage to develop stable and long-lasting relationships.

Recognize that you have a problem and you want to deal with it. Feeling dissatisfied or alienated with your partner is a sign of solvable or unsolvable problems. Do you ever think you want to date someone else? Have you been enjoying your alone time lately? Do you notice a change in your partner? Have you drifted apart and started arguing more often?

  • Arguing means disagreement. Although you also lose your temper, raise your voice and become irritable, the argument is essentially based on a specific subject of the conversation. You may, for example, have an argument with your partner over the responsibility of doing the dishes. While this is a personal matter for everyone, and you are actually arguing over responsibility, the argument itself is centered on a specific example. But these are all solvable problems.
  • The quarrel is an interpersonal problem. When you fight with someone, the matter is complicated by a whole spectrum of emotions on which your reaction and specific actions depend. If a quick remark about your partner refusing to do the dishes turns into scolding and accusations, and if you regularly and deliberately provoke your partner, it is a sign of deep and more complicated problems that sometimes cannot be resolved.
  • If there are times when your partner raises his or her hand against you, it is a sign of very serious problems. It is almost impossible to “fix” a relationship where there is physical abuse.

  • Write down your experiences – it helps. Write down any moments in the relationship that make you feel unhappy, including moments that make you feel uncomfortable or upset. Write down the specific behavior pattern of your partner that pisses you off.
  • Structure the sentence this way: “When we _____, I feel ______.” That should be enough to get you started. Try not to express all of this to your partner and don’t write in the second person. Instead of writing “when you’re having fun with your friends at the bar and not spending time with me, I feel lonely,” try writing “when we’re not spending time together, I feel like no one wants me.”
  • If you get inspired, write down exactly what you want to change in your relationship as soon as possible. Try to identify exactly what it is you’re dissatisfied with, it will do you good. But instead of “I want her to be less testy,” write “I’d like to learn to put up with her testy temper.

  • Does your fear of seeming vulnerable keep you from sharing your thoughts with your partner and opening up completely? You may well feel uncomfortable when your partner points out your shortcomings and causes you discomfort and shame. Do you react negatively, blame and attack your partner simply because you want to prove a point and not the other way around? Answer all the questions you want to ask your partner yourself.
  • Ultimately, you need to weigh whether you can tolerate the things that annoy you in your partner in spite of their desire to change and create a calm and loving environment to discuss your feelings. Both parties need to see the bad and the good sides of the relationship for themselves. You will hope for the same loving attitude, the same loving environment and the same honesty on his part.

  • Make an appointment to talk. You will need time to talk if you are busy at school, work or with the kids. Turn off your cell phone and television for the duration of the conversation so you have no distractions. If it takes all night, so be it. Beyond that, you shouldn’t talk to your partner about serious topics when he or she feels unprotected from your attacks. Just calmly say, “Can we talk tomorrow? I think we need to clear up a few things.”
  • Listen carefully. Make eye contact with your partner as he or she speaks. Put the phone away, even if you feel uncomfortable. Don’t interrupt when your partner is talking. Always treat him or her with respect. Respond politely, even if you are being told something emotionally.
  • If you can’t have a serious conversation without raising your voice, try talking in a public park or restaurant where you feel uncomfortable yelling. [1] X Source of Information

Make the decision to change for the better. Your relationship is a “solution in a package.” If, after discussing problems, it becomes clear that your partner doesn’t understand you or has simply ignored the problems you’ve voiced and won’t change his or her position, it may be time to end the relationship. If you can come to a common denominator on all issues and want to change for the better, you can begin the healing process.

  • Do everything you did early in the relationship. Compliment each other, plan dates, and exchange gifts. Remember to thank your partner when you feel they love you.

  • Schedule household chores and distribute them between you. If you always have to visit your partner by car or subway, agree to take turns visiting each other.

  • Tell your partner about your sexual desires. If you have become bored and the sexual relationship is no longer enjoyable, you need to tell your partner about it and find a solution to the problem. Make a list of your own sexual desires and share it with your partner. You may feel uncomfortable talking about sex, so it is better to write everything down on paper.
  • Be spontaneous. If you can’t be alone with your partner as often as you’d like, take time off from work or stop by during your lunch break.

Take control of the situation. Make it a rule to solve a few problems in the relationship every two months. In doing so, you need to revisit the problems you’ve already discussed. If the situation does not change, you need to try again to solve the problems that have arisen. If you make an effort and your partner gets stuck in one place, it’s time to talk about the problems in the relationship again.

  • If you plan to find a job in New York City and move there next year, you need to discuss this with your partner. You should let him or her know about your plans, especially if you plan to get married and have children.
  • Discuss the disadvantages. If your partner really wants to be a wildland firefighter, and you’re not sure you can handle the challenge, tell him or her. If you have never wanted to date a smoker, and your partner has recently gotten into the habit of smoking, let him or her know that it is not acceptable to you.

  • This method should be used carefully. You can’t change everything you don’t like about your partner, so you shouldn’t even try. What you are trying to do in this case is to give him a chance to deal with the “disadvantage” that is hindering your relationship

Don’t try to change for the sake of making your partner happy. Of course, your partner should be happy in the relationship. But changing the way you behave and sacrificing yourself to make your loved one “happy” is not fair to you, and it will only prolong an unhealthy relationship that should end. Learn to be yourself and part of the love couple; only then will success await you.

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