How to find out if a man really loves you?

How, according to psychologists, can you tell if a man really loves you for real?


How do you know if a man really loves you? Psychologist’s opinion on this subject can not be unambiguous, because all people are different and show their feelings in their own way.

Everyone has special features, as well as circumstances in which the interpretation of certain behavioral changes can be really ambiguous. On the other hand, there are certain nuances that answer a common female question, “How do you know if a man loves you or not?”

Opinion of psychologists about men’s feelings and affections

The opinion of psychologists regarding certain emotional states can not be unambiguous. No self-respecting psychologist dares to equate all under one roof. Psychologists do not consider love as banal chemistry or the instinct of reproduction. They agree that love as such is dictated by both inner impulses and social nuances, but is still based on something instinctive. Roughly speaking, man loves, and society dictates how to love.

Society, psychologists believe, imposes certain stereotypes of behavior on men. This also applies to the manifestations of love. For example, a man is supposed to be the initiator of relations. And there is also the view that he should always give flowers to girls if he loves her. And give some silly toys, again, if he loves her.

Psychologists have an opinion that this is the pattern that most people follow, even if it is against their nature. This is the original problem of understanding men’s feelings. If socially acceptable patterns of behavior in case of falling in love disgust him, but he forces himself to follow them, it often looks ridiculous and insincere. The result: a man is understood distorted, and the woman is intensively asking advice from girlfriends and psychologists on the strange behavior of a young man.

How do men love?

In different ways. Therefore it is impossible to say unequivocally how to understand that a man loves for real.

Women, unfortunately, quite often interested in some amorphous external manifestations, which are usually artificial.

Candy, flowers, compliments and invitations to the restaurant are not signs that a man loves you, this is just the most banal and hackneyed type of courtship.

How do you know if a man loves you without knowing his personality? Psychologists are sure that everyone has something really special going on inside.

  1. There are men who love loudly. They can not and do not consider it necessary to keep their feelings inside, so they start doing really amazing things. They, if they love, talk a lot and do a lot. As a rule, they are extroverts.
  2. Some men love in silence. They keep the feeling somewhere inside them, it inspires them. They don’t have the need to let everyone know that they love, they just have to feel it. They can always really understand and listen to you, and they also rarely lie when they love.

These are just examples, individual opinions. Some jump around and are in a euphoric state, and some quietly radiate warmth from within. If you really know the man yourself, you have a better chance of understanding that he does love you than psychologists from the outside.

How do you know if it’s true love for real?

If you want, you can find thousands of instructions and opinions of psychologists on how to know that a man loves you. Do they really work? Psychologists distinguish three categories of interaction between a man and a woman, by which you can try to understand whether he loves you.


Psychologists are sure that this is really the most important point, not chatter and facial expressions. After all, it makes sense.

How do you know that a man loves you and needs you, if not by what he does towards you. It’s what he does that matters, not what he talks about or how.

To understand that a man really loves, according to psychologists, can help the following manners:

  • he keeps his word;
  • he helps you when you need it;
  • he does not try to limit you;
  • he really tries to understand you;
  • he supports your endeavors and contributes to your further development as a person.

Nonverbal Signs.

Body language won’t answer the question of how to tell if your husband loves you or not. It can tentatively let you know if he’s interested in you or if he wants to shut you out. Or about indifference. But these signs will not give you the opportunity to really understand what’s in a man’s heart.

On his sympathy may indeed indicate the following signs:

  • dilated pupils;
  • Observation of you in some general interaction with society (for example, when someone jokes, he subconsciously looks at your reaction);
  • a sincere smile (with “smiling” eyes – “goosefoots” appear);
  • hands around the waist (pockets, belt) – in this case you can really talk about a specific sexual interest;
  • an attempt to touch (e.g., to put your arm around, to remove a mote).


The conversation itself, the manner of its conduct and, in fact, its content, can let you know that he loves you, only indirectly. Like non-verbal signs, communication can indicate the presence of sympathy and interest in the person rather than the fact that someone really loves someone. Psychologists believe that love is a serious emotional state, not a fleeting burst in the form of butterflies in the stomach.

According to psychologists, a man respects you and is really interested in you if:

  • he is sincere when talking;
  • conversation initiated by him, relates to your common subjects;
  • man does not try to derail the conversation that concerns you.

How to check that he needs you?

The opinion of psychologists agrees on one thing: if a man needs someone, then he cannot be called truly self-sufficient. To feel defective because of the absence of a man nearby – a sign of lack of autonomy and inability to occupy yourself with anything.

So think a hundred times about whether you really want your young man to need you. Just because he loves you, does not mean that he feels a dire need for you and can not live without you.

What do psychologists advise?

In the question of how to understand that a man loves you, psychology can give some advice that usually women do not like. Why? Because it’s not blaming or analyzing someone else, but taking responsibility for yourself. How do you check if a man really loves you?

No way. Surely you really can’t. Since of all the people in your environment you are only really responsible for yourself, psychologists suggest looking at the root.

Psychologists believe that if you ask yourself this question, there are two options:

  1. You have low self-esteem, which fuels your doubts about your own attractiveness in the eyes of your chosen one.
  2. You do realize somewhere inside that your actions, your deeds, your very attitude, in the end, cannot contribute to love.

If we talk about self-confidence, here the opinion of psychologists is unambiguous and at the same time banal: if you start to really do it for yourself, your self-perception will change greatly. Do not do it for a man, for the same psychologist or for the page in the social network!

If your goal is to improve these or those facets of yourself, you will feel like a completely different person.

You’ll realize that there’s no point in comparing yourself to others, just as there’s no point in trying to be good for everyone. And questions like “How do you know if a man loves you or not?” you won’t even want to type into the search box. You won’t need to. Psychologists believe that the doubts themselves really won’t be there.

The second option deserves a separate lecture from psychologists. Opinions of psychologists agree that women are often thrown to extremes in relation to members of the stronger sex.

There is an opinion that there are two radical poles, when a woman is really convinced that she is right, but behaves extremely destructive to the relationship.

  • The “I’m a woman, so I’m a goddess” category;
  • Ladies who believe that everyone owes them just because they exist;
  • Hysterical women who turn any substance into a scandal.
  • ardent connoisseurs of the division of functions in life along gender lines;
  • amorphous amoebas who have hidden their opinions in the deepest and ugliest trunk, and now indulge others (including men) in everything;
  • Girls who look up to their man in love and really see him as the meaning of their lives.

Psychologists believe that if you have signs of any of these groups, it’s really time to change something about yourself. If you decide to create a new relationship or develop old ones, with a high probability everything will go according to the usual scenario, where you will find yourself the misunderstood victim and will remain again at the bottom of the barrel.

If you are wondering how to check if a man really loves you, the test will not help. Sure, you can lie about being pregnant and see how he reacts. You can flirt with other men in front of him.

But will his reaction be proof that he loves you? And will your behavior toward the man be truly honest? If not, can you really demand decent treatment from him afterwards?

The opinion of psychologists is that if you are really curious about his feelings, the best “test” will be a human conversation, where you will find out everything for yourself. For the sake of interest, you can study this article. Maybe it will help you in some other way.

Perhaps just using it?

Well, yes, quite possibly. If you look globally, we all use each other. In most cases, of course, psychologists do not deny sincere altruism.

But! Agree that when someone “sacrifices himself,” doesn’t he expect some kind of reaction from the outside? Psychologists believe that this is manipulation in its purest form, which implies that one is gaining one’s own benefit.

Think about it: aren’t you using it, too? Psychologists advise not to lie to yourself at least. If the honest answer for yourself is positive, then do not be surprised that the use will be mutual. There is an opinion that people around really are mirrors of ourselves, remember that.

If you are diligently searching the web for materials on how to figure out if your husband loves you or not, then:

  • Either there really are some precedents;
  • Or you are just bored, so you decided to organize on the spot a problem.

Opinion of psychologists about the second option is unambiguous: in this case it is necessary in the first place to take care of themselves and their development, and not try to look for a catch in the behavior of their men. So let’s talk about the first one.

So, how to understand whether your man loves you or just uses you? If you really want to understand your man, there are telltale signs of his potentially mercenary behavior.

  1. He only reaches out to you when he needs something.
  2. He’s not interested in your personal development, and he will demand that you sacrifice something of yourself for him.
  3. He doesn’t help you unless he’s asked for it a hundred times and in addition promised something in return.
  4. If you have any problems that really need to be solved, he doesn’t have time.

Useful video

The psychology of men in love and relationships is quite contradictory. On the one hand, he wants independence, and on the other – home comfort and attention. The video below will help you to understand this:

How to understand that a man really loves you

Many men are not just not accustomed to express their feelings openly – quite a few of them simply do not know how to do this. But then how do you know whether a man loves you? We collected some signs – watch and identify!

It seems that these sneaky men have figured out that women love with their ears. And if you’re wondering how to figure out if a man loves or uses you, focus not on words, but on actions. Which of them may be a manifestation of true feelings, let’s try to figure it out.

What a man feels when he realizes that he loves

If a man is well liked, and wants even for a moment to look into his thoughts and find out the true relationship to you. How do you know that a man loves? Psychology gives a simple clear answer: you feel better in his presence. He cares, protects and intercedes, interested in your plans and builds you into his life. After what does a man realize he loves? This happens when he realizes that he wants to be around as often as possible, wants to share his most important experiences with a girl.

Well, if you’re already confident in his feelings for you, now you have another question – how to understand a man in love. However, to seek an answer to it is easier and more pleasant, because when the sympathy is mutual, you can ask about his feelings directly.

How to know that a man loves: he constantly wants to be near

Passionately in love, a man wants to be with you. He wants to spend every weekday and holiday together, ready to meet you after work and take you to her every day, if only you had the opportunity to be near a little longer. How do you know if a man loves you? The test is very simple: if a man is in love, he wants you to be with him 24 hours a day.

A man in love lets you into his life

You’ve already met his best friends and his mother. He’s not shy about sharing his worries with you and, most importantly, telling you about his plans. Moreover, a man in love will quickly start planning your future together: trips, weekends and other, more serious things. It’s also a very easy way to know that a married man loves you. If he has set you such a high “level of access” in his life, a serious conversation with his wife is not far off, because hiding such an affair is definitely not going to work.

How to know if a man loves a woman: he is invested in her

He tries to help you. You complain about the difficult work, and he offers to quit to feel better? And is ready to support your decision not only in words, but also to help you financially, to recommend you to friends who work in an interesting company, always happy to listen and help with advice. How do you know that a man loves a woman? Genuine interest, lively participation and desire to help you make life better give away the real feelings on his part.

A truly in love man cares and protects

You’re worried if he’s only interested in sex? How do you know if a man really loves? If you feel his care, immediately everything should be clear. When he cares about you, it becomes apparent that he really cares about everything that is happening, and you have become very dear to him, he wants to please, protect and defend.

How do you know that a man loves you? A confession is not enough. Analyze his behavior in search of the right signs and evidence!

Man loves if he listens to your opinion

He values your opinion. How does a man know he loves a woman? He begins to feel that he cares about her opinion. At the same time he does not become a slave. How do you know if a married man loves you? You notice that he adjusts to you. Just thinks that you have to make decisions together, because your lives are now really connected.

A man loves you if he’s interested in every little thing about you

He is interested in everything that happens in your life. He’s even interested in your classes and the subjects you’re studying at university. He’s willing to listen to stories about your colleagues, memorize their names and then ask you what happened next. Even if you are far away from each other, you can be sure – a man loves from a distance. How to figure it out? Attention to detail – a sure sign of falling in love and wanting to know everything about the object of his love.

How to know that a man really loves you: he wants to be closer physically

He often touches you. Takes your hand. Puts his hand on your shoulder. Sits down beside you. All these gestures show his desire to be as close to his beloved and feel her presence on a physical level. If you still don’t know how to figure out what a man loves but is hiding, physical signs of attention will give him up red-handed.

Bonus! How to know a man loves you with his zodiac sign

How do you know if an Aries man loves you? He will be very attentive to you, will take your wishes and needs seriously. And he will also try to present himself in the most favorable angles.

The Taurus man is not the most outstanding suitor, but he will try to take you with assertiveness and persistence.

In love, the man-loving Taurus will really radiate romantic euphoria and zest for life, you will definitely feel it.

How do you know if a Cancer man loves? Cancer embodies that archetypal image of a romantic admirer, the man will shower you with signs of attention, and his mental torment will be noticeable to everyone.

How to understand that a man Leo loves? Courtship representatives of this sign know how to royally, he will shower you with gifts and will arrange a truly creative dating.

And here’s how to understand that a Virgo man loves: you won’t have a single unscrewed shelf and dripping faucet in your home. Virgo men aren’t strong on romance, but they’re great at caring.

A Libra man in love will surprise you with beautiful romantic actions, he becomes a real knight.

How do you know that the Scorpio man is in love? Simple: you will very quickly find yourself in a horizontal position, and then you will be perplexed as to what came over you. The clue is simple: the Scorpio man is incredibly passionate when in love.

How to understand that a male Sagittarius loves? You don’t have to guess – this is the most sincere sign of the zodiac, so if he has feelings for you, believe me, he will let you know.

Did you get the Capricorn male? You can tell what he loves by his body language. He will actively gesticulate, lean toward you with his whole body, and also cute not knowing where to put his hands.

The Aquarius man in love will consciously adjust to you, trying to fulfill any of your wishes that he finds out.

In love a male Pisces will tell you everything about himself without concealment. And with him you’ll feel the full confetti-boquet period.

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