How to deal with an arrogant person?

8 ways to reprimand a person who thinks he is smarter than others

An arrogant model of behavior in a person is established in childhood, and it is formed as a compensation for insecurity and distrust of self. Arrogance manifests itself in different ways, and its extreme degree is narcissism.

To change an arrogant person is very difficult, so ADME tells how to behave around someone who thinks that no one in this world is better than him.

Don’t react.

When you realize that you are with an arrogant person, it is important to understand that it’s not your fault. He has no claims to you, he became such as a child, and nothing can be done about it. So do not take his words seriously and treat the communication with the arrogant person as a game that can always stop.

Make a comment

When you feel that the person is crossing the line, make a corrective remark. Remind the arrogant person of the existence of other opinions, the truth that belongs to no one, and that in general he or she may be wrong. This is easily accomplished with the phrases “Sorry to interrupt, but . ” , “Perhaps you don’t mean to sound arrogant, but . ” . The key is to do it calmly, without raising your voice.

Find an ally.

Sometimes arrogant people can be real tough nuts. With such personalities, communicating on a controversial topic face to face is unlikely to work out. In such a situation, try to involve other people in your conversation: a third party can help resolve the conflict. Another way out is to find an ally with whom you will confront the arrogant person together.

Set Boundaries

It is especially difficult to communicate with an arrogant person if it is your colleague and you have to bump into him nose-to-nose every day. In such a case, it is especially important not to lose concentration, continue to follow your schedule and work, avoiding showdowns and unnecessary communication. Designating boundaries between you can be a key factor in interacting with an arrogant person.


If the situation allows, try to ignore the arrogant behavior. And don’t dwell on the negativity. Try to find something useful, something why you might enjoy the person’s company: maybe he jokes well or tells interesting things. Negative rejection tactics will help you pump up your listening and tolerance skills.

Accept the attacks.

Psychiatrist Mikhail Litvak says that it is useless to argue with a person who accepts only his point of view. Instead of wasting energy on change of mind, you can simply agree. This technique is called psychological aikido. Agreeing with the attacks of an arrogant man, you can expose his wrongdoing. He does not expect you to behave in this way, so he will quickly give up.


By insulting and devaluing you, the arrogant person expects you to try to defend yourself and respond with something similar. But the point is that the arrogance of such a person cannot be “penetrated” simply by unpleasant words. Therefore, it makes no sense to start a game of such attacks.

Psychiatrist Mark Goulston believes that arrogant people should be flattered. As in the case of psychological aikido, the person does not expect you to agree with him. Therefore, he will be confused when he hears nice words from his vis-a-vis.

Use the “anti-impact damage.”

The method will help if the person often uses sarcasm, both to attack the other person and to defend himself. Using the “antiknock damage,” you must learn to sustain a pause after hearing sarcasm. During it you will be able to concentrate, and your opponent will receive a signal that his plan is revealed and you did not succeed in provoking him.

After the pause, you need to respond in the style of an arrogant man. In response to your statement, he will start to deny, trying to think up a new strategy in parallel. Wait a little longer until the tension subsides, and then move the conversation in another direction.

Have you encountered arrogant people in your life? How have you behaved while talking to them?

“Pomp for two Tinkov”: 9 phrases that will put the arrogant man in his place

Many arrogant people are sure of their superiority over others, they look down on everyone, boasting of knowledge, position in society, origin. Their opinion is expressed in a harsh, often aggressive form, not caring that may hurt the feelings of others.

Arrogant people have a set of certain qualities that cause irritation to others. They can be easily recognized by the following characteristics.

They consider themselves so special, inimitable and unique, that only the same chosen people can understand them. Therefore, they try to communicate with the elite and the “cream of society” and look down on others.

Arrogant people do not apologize, even if they are wrong, they believe that this is beneath their dignity.

They demand admiration for themselves, recognition of their own merits and virtues, which often exist only in their imagination.

They manipulate people, using them to achieve their own selfish ends, shamelessly appropriating the results of others.

How to communicate with arrogant people

Communicating with an arrogant person can ruin the mood for a long time, so psychologist Ian Whitrow advises simply to avoid communication with such people, and the most effective way is simply to stop the dialogue, and leave.

But, unfortunately, we do not always manage to avoid communication with unpleasant people, so psychologists give general recommendations for behavior in such contacts.

Try to keep composure, equanimity, self-esteem, do not show your irritation. On the rant of an arrogant person answer serenely calm: so you can disarm him and make him think about how he looks on your background.

Take a pause in the conversation, and try to keep it as long as possible. Complement it with an ironic facial expression or a skeptically raised eyebrow. This method has a striking effect: Your arrogant interlocutor will begin to get nervous, speak out of turn, lose the thread of the conversation and possibly retreat.

Use humor: As a rule, arrogant people suffer from a lack of humor, so they do not perceive jokes and can not always respond to them with dignity. At the same time, they are panicked afraid to look funny: take advantage of this feature to knock them out of the rut, gently show their shortcomings. But do not descend to the flat and rude humor, be above the interlocutor.

When communicating with an arrogant person, always firmly defend your position, support it with irrefutable arguments, refer to the opinion of famous and respected people.

You may use the “Socratic method”: ask questions that can only be answered by “yes” or “no”. This technique is used when the interlocutor is stubborn in his opinion and doesn’t hear your arguments. Break your thought into small passages, each of which can only be a single answer. So you seize the initiative in the conversation in their hands, and after three identical response your partner and everyone around him will understand who is right.

Phrases that can put in place an arrogant man

In addition to the listed communication techniques, there are several universal phrases that will help put down an arrogant person.

Perhaps this phrase will not immediately destroy the stereotypes peculiar to the arrogant person, but will let him understand that his point of view is not the only one. Especially if, as mentioned above, you bring the opinion of people with authority in the field.

Ask the arrogant person to give specific, reasoned proof that he is better than most people around him. More often than not, he will not be able to give a clear and concise answer, begin to twist and drive himself into a dead end, especially if you will question his remarks.

The phrase is appropriate in those cases where the snooty person is condemning someone’s habits, lifestyle. Expressing categorical, negative judgments, he tries to exalt himself above those around him, not noticing that he is a prisoner of stereotypes. One of the variants of this expression: “You know, and I also …” so you emphasize that you belong to the mentioned group, and for you it is insulting to hear such statements.

One of the best ways to end a long, pushy conversation on an unpleasant subject. Arrogant people tend to hear only themselves, so such a somewhat rude phrase will confuse them and allow the conversation to end.

This harsh phrase is suitable to stop the flow of backbiting in someone’s address. It will make it clear that not everyone enjoys listening to a pompous rant, and perhaps put it in its place.

It is a way of stopping the endless monologue and reminding the arrogant person that brevity is considered the sister of talent.

This sentence fits the “Socratic method” perfectly, since it implies only two options for an answer. If the interlocutor answers, “Yes, I didn’t mean to,” he admits he is wrong and will be forced to be silent. Answering negatively, he/she will put himself/herself in an embarrassing and ridiculous position, and arrogant people fear that most of all.

This question also implies only two answers: if the person does not understand how ridiculous he looks, then there is nothing else to talk about. And if he understands, then after this phrase will be embarrassed and will shut up. And open laughter just takes the stiffness out of him.

Often, in order to put in place an arrogant man, it is enough to doubt his knowledge, skills, achievements. Most of them are able to beautifully argue, but in practice they can not prove their worth.

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