How to cope with stress and depression?

How to cope with stress. Tips from a psychologist, neurologist and boxers

Stress is a feeling of being overwhelmed and unable to cope with psychological and emotional pressure. More often than not, stress begins when we realize that we have no control over a situation. There are so many tasks, thoughts, and emotions that the nervous system and body can’t cope. A simple example: a person goes to a new job. There are unfamiliar people around, a lot of information and an impressive list of things to do. And if it is difficult to adapt to these changes, stress arises.

How easily a person can cope with it depends on genetics, health, lifestyle, economic and social factors. According to studies, people who lack money are more susceptible to stress. And those who practice meditation, more easily get rid of anxiety. To cope with anxiety helps support loved ones, sports and travel.

Bad Stress and Good Stress

Distress is a negative type of stress. It happens when a person is unable to adapt to a particular life situation. It produces the hormone cortisol, which affects all body systems and can lead to weakness, insomnia, gastrointestinal problems and heart problems, for example.

Eustress is useful stress. It occurs when a person easily adapts to change. Eustress activates cognitive functions – helps one to make decisions faster, work productively and find creative ideas. As a result, one doesn’t just adjust to unforeseen circumstances, but gains drive and satisfaction.

Imagine this situation: your work has offered you an urgent move to London. Distress will begin if tasks like looking for an apartment, paperwork and adaptation in the new team seems complicated and meaningless. Or when you do not have a resource: you have not vacationed for a long time and you do not enjoy anything. Eustress will be if you perceive the move as an inspiring adventure. Yes, change is exciting. But they can awaken our excitement and motivation to do everything we can, and more, with drive and maximum impact.

When we talk about coping with stress, we mean distress. About how to resist it, tell the experts.

Anton Skobelev, psychologist

Determine whether you are suffering from distress

Distress is indicated by such symptoms:

  • restless sleep;
  • muscle tremors (twitching eyes, cheek, corner of the mouth, trembling fingers);
  • desire to be in an unconscious or trance state, watch TV for a long time or play a game console;
  • a craving for sleep and the use of substances that help alter consciousness, such as alcohol;
  • dysfunction of various body systems: digestion difficulties, loss of appetite, increased irritability, headaches and sexual dysfunction;
  • colds occur more often than once in six months.

If stress becomes chronic, a person loses the ability to admire, to feel and contemplate beauty. He wants to hide from people and the world, to retreat into his thoughts and experiences. This desire to withdraw is a defensive reaction of an exhausted person, who is trying to adapt to a large number of changes. But there are so many changes that it is impossible to cope with them.

Depending on the type of nervous system, reactions to stress vary. Some people destroy themselves, some people destroy others, some people run away from problems, and some people are frantic.

Learn anti-stress exercises

Take three slow, deep breaths and exhales. If you need to cheer up, inhale for six counts and exhale for three. If you need to relax and calm down, on the contrary: inhale for three counts, exhale for six counts. The ideal is to calm down first and then cheer up.

Massage your face and neck

From the nose down the cheeks to the ears, from the chin and ears to the interclavicular hollow. Massage the forehead along the brow from the center to the periphery. Do this for seven “soothing” breaths and exhales (three seconds – inhale, six seconds – exhale), then seven “invigorating” breaths (six seconds – inhale, three – exhale).

These two exercises will help to calm you down if you are worried, for example, about a public speaking or a deadline. Three minutes is usually enough to have the proper effect. But if it does not help, it is better to cancel the performance or postpone the deadline to get some sleep. Otherwise, there is a risk of not feeling well or getting sick.

Prevent stress.

Stress is less likely to occur if:

  • Eating a full and proper diet;
  • Sleeping between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. ensures optimal rest and production of hormones that keep the brain, heart and skin young and alert;
  • Move regularly, walk and do short functional training sessions for different muscle groups;
  • make time for your favorite activities and walks in nature and outdoors, such as by the sea;
  • Take at least 14 days off, twice a year, or better yet, more often;
  • Be in the company of people who love you and love you;
  • Practicing meditation is an effective way to reset and clear your mind of distracting thoughts.

Protect yourself from negative information

Most news channels hold an audience because they evoke strong emotions: surprise and shock, anxiety and fear, outrage and anger. And any strong emotion is always stressful. Over the past two years, the news of the coronavirus has given many people another source of anxiety. Many survivors report slower reactions, sluggish thinking, and changes in the emotional-volitional sphere. And while the effects of the coronavirus on the psyche and nervous system have yet to be studied (there is little data so far), the effects of bad news have long been studied. History knows of cases where hundreds and thousands of people suddenly felt sick, they had all the symptoms of the disease, with all they really got was mass hysteria. Exposure to stress seriously reduces immunity.

Suleiman and Artur Makhmudov, boxers, founders of the Brothers Boxing Club

As a result of regular boxing exercises aggressive and hot-tempered people become calmer, while apathetic people become full of vitality. Our training concept involves not only an even strain on all muscles of the body, but also getting rid of negative emotions, an incredible charge of energy and strength. And of course, boxing helps to get in shape and improve health. It positively affects your cardiovascular, muscular and nervous system. And as a result it makes you feel good and improve your mood.

Switch from anxious thoughts

Boxing requires endurance and excellent coordination. You can’t train effectively if you’re thinking about other things. There is a stereotype that boxers are hot-tempered people. But that is not true. Boxers are smart and sensible guys who think strategically and stick to complex tactics. They are always focused and collected so they don’t miss a punch. We only allow partners to spar if we make sure they are ready to focus.

Control your emotions

Boxing teaches you not to give in to provocation and not to lose your temper. To perform the exercises correctly, it is important to concentrate only on the technique of execution. Because of this, regular training gradually reduces aggression, improves concentration and teaches a person to be alert. So, if an unpleasant situation happens in life, a real fighter can resist panic or anger. He pulls himself together and quickly finds an effective solution.

Spend your time in a pleasant and useful way

Our clubs have the most comfortable environment. You can understand what we are talking about just by stopping by. At Brothers each client gets what they need, including emotional release, relaxation, pleasant conversation, and enjoyment of the atmosphere.

Ilmira Ibragimova, doctor-neurologist, massage therapist beauty salon “Milfey

The body is an emotion that needs to be heard and lived. If the emotional state is repeated regularly, certain motor and behavioral patterns are formed. Any emotion that didn’t come out will manifest itself in the area where the movement was stopped. For a variety of reasons, we are often in a state of frustration, which causes our diaphragm to clench and our shoulders and back to ache.

The Spanish massage helps in releasing these clamps. It is a very gentle technique and variety of techniques. While a normal massage involves the kneading of muscles, causing discomfort and pain to the patient, the Spanish massage is a relaxation technique that takes into account the nerves, vessels and lymph nodes.

As Enrique Garcia, the founder of the Spanish massage technique said, “There are four systems through which I can influence the human body: the joints, the muscles, the circulatory and lymphatic systems, the nervous system. It’s like four different doors leading into one house. I can go through any of them, using whatever technique suits me best at the moment.

There are also many other techniques: Thai, Japanese, sports, visceral, rolling massage, stone therapy, bamboo broom massage, neo-psychosomatics, perinatal psychology.

How to get out of depression on your own: tips from experts

Depression is a very common mental disorder nowadays, the causes and symptoms of which are well studied and described. There are also effective methods of its treatment. Specialists in the field of psychiatry must necessarily deal with the severe types of this illness, such as suicidal depression (obsessive suicide) and bipolar depression (severe mood swings, obsessive thoughts, exaggerated self-esteem, etc.). For other kinds of depression, there are supplementary professional help, and sometimes even replacing it, ways to give an answer to how to get out of depression independently. These are depressions such as:

  • seasonal;
  • Adynamic (weakness, reduced capacity for work, rapid fatigue);
  • Anxiety (feelings of anxiety);
  • Hormonal, one subspecies of which is postpartum;
  • crying (a constant desire to cry);
  • anesthetic (loss of emotions);
  • dysphoric (unreasonable irritability, attacks of anger and anger);
  • ironic (difficult to define, as it is characterized by merriment and excessive talkativeness, teasing others) and others.


First of all, to begin to combat depression with your own strength, you need to know what cause caused it, and neutralize it. The most common “provocateurs” are:

  1. Surviving a personal tragedy at any age.
  2. Chronic illness.
  3. Constantly haunting stressful situations.
  4. Lack of vitamins.
  5. Improper nutrition.
  6. Bad weather, lack of sunlight.
  7. Problems at work and at home.
  8. A succession of bad luck.
  9. Lack of sleep, severe fatigue.
  10. A sudden significant change in life – the collapse of a business, getting fired, having to start something all over again, moving to another country, etc.
  11. Loss of a loved one.
  12. Abuse of alcohol and psychotropic drugs.

We can say for sure: depression does not “pop up” suddenly, like a pimple. This is how the psyche responds to important negative events for the person. The problems that caused the disorder should not be buried deep inside yourself, because then they poison the body from the inside, will become more global and can lead to serious mental or somatic diseases.

Reconsider your views on the situation – as they say, there is no way out except from the coffin! Life goes on – change the attitude to what is happening, do not pay attention to the squabbles and slanted views. It is impossible to please everyone. If you need a frank conversation – talk frankly, dot your i’s. Work on yourself.


Exit from depression helps a number of steps to take, given the above. Their effectiveness has been proven by people suffering from different types of this disorder in their own experience.

A healthy diet makes you feel good physically and in good spirits. This does not include everything that is called fast food: big macs, grilled chicken, French fries. hot dogs, etc. These fast foods can poison the body, introducing many toxic substances. Meat can also be considered as dangerous in this sense.

Much more useful are fatty varieties of marine fish, nuts, hard cheese, fruits (especially bright colors), vegetables, seaweed. Chocolate is not a bad option, but you should be careful with it, because an excess of sweet can have a negative impact on your figure, and extra pounds can, in turn, again provoke depression.

2. Another great way to get out of depression is to normalize your sleep. You should not use any improvised “helpers” in order to fall asleep quickly and sleep well until the morning, without waking up because of every rustle (we mean sleeping pills or alcohol, although folk remedies in the form of decoctions will do). It is possible to act in this way:

  • Make it a habit to go to bed strictly at a certain time, not when you feel like it or as you can;
  • The most natural regime of sleep for man – to fall asleep before midnight, but even better – at 10 pm and get up early. In this case, sleep has therapeutic restorative properties;
  • Before going to bed it is inexpedient to watch the news, movies with negative connotations such as thrillers and horror movies, as well as reading something like that – it can provoke nightmares;
  • dinner should be early and not dense;
  • the bedroom should be aired out, you can take a warm bath, drink a glass of warm milk with honey, ask a family member to massage.

3. Physical activity is a great way out of depression. We live in an era of hypodynamia, we don’t move much, we lose little energy. But not so long ago, our grandparents, not to mention the distant ancestors, such a problem as depression, was not, though life was not easy for them. They worked more physically, moved around on foot, they didn’t have as many “smart” appliances to make household chores easier.

So we need to set aside some time a day for physical activity, whether it be leisurely walks, jogging, working in the front garden or on the garden plot, exercising or exercising on machines, walking. Get outdoors more often, because it improves your metabolism and enriches your body with oxygen.

4. Positive thinking is very important for getting out of depression. Color depressive drabness with bright colors, think about the good, do good to people. Smile, look for the best in those around you. If someone is negative and there is nothing you can do about it, just minimize your communication with him or her.

5. Do what you like to do. Your favorite hobby or business will energize you, make it easier to rest after a hard day’s work, and distract you from your worries and bad ideas.

6. To get out of depression, you need to pamper yourself, to give positive emotions. For women, the role of a depressant is shopping. And it doesn’t matter what kind of purchases will be small or large, but they will still make you happy. By the way, shopping is good for men, but they will like not the jewelry, clothes or shoes, but something associated with their hobby: fishing gear, a gun for hunting, a tool.

Positive emotions will also give variety. It can be a trip, a trip to a restaurant, a movie or theater, a dolphinarium.

Lead a healthy lifestyle, get rid of bad habits and complexes, timely treat somatic illnesses that may occur, do not look inside yourself and do not whine, avoid stressful situations. You can get a pet – beloved pets have a positive therapeutic effect on people.

And now for the main thing: to get out of depression on their own, you need to appreciate every moment of your life. It’s given once and it should enjoy it, so that nothing should pass by. You should not dwell on failures, to consider any problem a global one. Throw everything out of your head, love and appreciate your loved ones, communicate, enjoy every minute.


Richard O’Connor, in addition to being a certified specialist in the field of psychiatry, is also the author of many books that have become very popular because of the content and accessibility to understanding. They talk about many useful things: how to get rid of bad habits, how to become happy and how to get out of depression.

A psychotherapist considers depression to be not only a mental illness, but also a serious social problem. It must be treated by a specialist, relying on medication therapy and psychotherapy. But professional help is often not enough, since there is always a risk of relapse. Avoiding it will allow self-exit from depression, 12 basic principles which were formulated by O’Connor. They resonate with what was mentioned above.

He writes that depression forces a person to think and behave in a certain way, and this becomes his inherent habits. It is these that dictate an individual’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior. But it is possible to change the way of thinking, to set it on a different course, to change life in a more constructive direction.

So, here are the principles to follow for an independent exit from depression:

1. Don’t avoid expressing your feelings, experience them. The person suffering from depression himself creates a defense mechanism to isolate himself from disturbing emotions, among which there are both unpleasant and pleasant ones. This deprives the individual of important life information – such pain relief leads to the development of despondency and aggravation of the situation.

Experiencing emotions and expressing them are different things: we cannot control the former, while the latter we can and should. One cannot be sure of the need to feel a certain way, as it destroys the personality.

That is why one should not be afraid of feelings, because both intense sadness and joy pass very quickly. Man is like a buoy: our emotions are constantly balancing, but eventually stabilize. So there is no need to suppress them: crying, laughing, asserting our opinions, etc. will improve the condition. You just need to show them in a place where you are understood, and you will certainly find support.

2 Look for the reason. Mood changes for a reason – there is a reason, and it is necessary to identify it. If this is difficult to do, it is useful to make a journal and write down the events preceding the episode of depression. Thanks to this it will be possible to find out exactly what the “culprit” is. This can be a difficult conversation, a dream, something heard or read, a memory, etc.

Knowing what is causing the upset contributes to how to get out of the depression. The situation can now be avoided or changed, and if both fail, it is better to come to terms with it and not take it too hard.

3. Do mindfulness meditation regularly. This will reprogram your brain, allow you to focus on yourself and eliminate obsessive anxiety. Mastering the skills of mindful living, not judging everything in black and white, accepting the world without distortions, not trying to control what is impossible, and enjoying every day is not easy, but it is possible.

Repeat the mantra (you can replace it with the phrase) “Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to change the things I can change, and give me the wisdom to distinguish one from the other,” and it will work!

4. Exercise constantly. The brain preserves a person’s experience, and it changes chemically, electrically, and structurally with every thought, experience, and feeling. Depression damages it by remembering depressive habits. But we are able to create a new awareness, to “build” other, positive skills, viewpoints, and feelings, thereby healing the brain.

5. Get rid of depressive thinking. Away with pessimism, blaming yourself for all your sins and negative coincidences. Change your way of thinking, bad habits, and become confident in your abilities. Make a journal of dysfunctional thoughts to get rid of them, kick the inner critic out of yourself.

6. Get your priorities right. Doing unimportant things that don’t interest you leads to depression. Set your own values and follow them rigorously, even while making an effort. Don’t follow bad habits, don’t let others interfere in your life, and strengthen your character.

7. Love yourself. Learn to be proud of yourself-it gives you pleasure and a feeling of happiness. Write down in a notebook your achievements and good deeds, whatever they were – spontaneous or a set task. It is usually quite difficult for a person to feel proud of himself or herself, but such discomfort can be quickly overcome.

Little joys are very important: good food, a pleasant smell, a comfortable chair, etc. Just pay mindless attention to them – the sensations are the main thing here.

You need to learn how to relax. Yoga, dancing, singing in a choir, swimming, aerobics can help.

Eat well, take care of your body and your health, don’t smoke and drink alcohol.

8. Speak directly. To be understood correctly, you should speak your desires to your loved one. Language should be unambiguous: what and how you say should coincide.

Depressed people usually think that they are not understood, that they are obtuse, they prefer not to continue the conversation, shut up, go away into themselves. However, if they are unable to express their thoughts, it is better to pause, to concentrate and even to ask the interlocutor to ask questions.

In your turn, you should also listen attentively to what you are told, interrogate for a better understanding.

Communicate more, smile at people, be friendly. It is proven that extroverts are happy.

9. Find a hero. You need to identify a role model for yourself. It can be someone respected by everyone for his/her kindness, courage, self-sacrifice. Such a person can be both among the living and the departed. Of course, he necessarily has any shortcomings, but by his actions they deserve admiration.

Try to be like that person, and thus you will begin to respect yourself.

10. Show generosity. Of course, you can’t get out of a depression just by giving away money, participation, or sympathy. But reaching out to others in need can help you get rid of your frustrations. If charity is not possible, then you can become a volunteer.

The habit of generosity will break through self-isolation and make you respect and treat yourself better.

11. don’t be afraid of intimacy, open up to the person you love. Intimacy opens you stronger in front of him, he learns your doubts, secret fears, embarrassing secrets. This generates harmony in the couple – no more nothing secret, the masks are removed and you love the way you really are.

12. Ask for help in time. Learn to understand the signals that precede a depressive episode. “Ringing” can be discomfort in the stomach, irritability, a lump in the throat. For each person, such a signal is different, and if you notice it, then immediately, without delay, contact a specialist. Sometimes just one visit to a therapist can help prevent a serious relapse.

Take the medicine prescribed by your doctor – it’s not a sign of weakness, but a guarantee that nothing bad will happen.

Attend support groups, give close people orders in case you get really bad.

Being embarrassed to seek help is a symptom of depression, so it needs to be addressed.

Of course, as Richard O’Connor says, it is very difficult to live exactly by these principles. And it is not easy to master them. These new skills need to be practiced constantly, but this requires your great desire to beat depression.

It will take patience, time, and a lot of work on yourself, which will be accompanied by discomfort and anxiety. But gradually new habits will become normal, and then recovery will come.

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