How to change
Contributor(s): Shannon O’Brien, MA, EdM. Shannon O’Brien is the founder and principal consultant of Whole U., a career and personality counseling service in Boston, Massachusetts. Through counseling, workshops and e-learning, Whole U. helps people find their dream job and live balanced, meaningful lives. Shannon has been named the No. 1 career and personality coach in Boston, Massachusetts, based on reviews on Yelp. Her work has been talked about on Boston.com, Boldfacers and UR Business Network. She has a master’s degree in technology, innovation, and education from Harvard University.
Number of sources used in this article: 17. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.
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From time to time we all become dissatisfied with something in life and decide that we need a change. If you, too, feel it’s time to make a change in your life, go for it! You can change! It may seem like a daunting task, but there is nothing difficult about it, the main thing is to set clear goals and guidelines for yourself. Change your habits, and soon you will notice that your perception of yourself and the world has changed.
- Start with the positive. Write a list of what you like about yourself, or remember what good things others say about you. It’s important to know your strengths so you can channel them later.
- Try to formulate in one sentence your goal. Make sure it is what YOU want, not what others want from you. Change will come if and only if you sincerely want it.
- Then make a list of reasons why you want to change. All of these reasons will motivate you in your change process.
- Start your sentences with “I.”
- For example, “I am good,” “I work hard,” “I am original.”
- For example, “I can reach my potential,” “I can become what I want to be,” “I can achieve my goals.”
- For example, “I will be who I want to be,” “I will overcome all obstacles,” “I will prove to myself that I can change my life for the better.”
- Close your eyes.
- Imagine your ideal self in the future. Where are you? What are you doing? How has your life changed? What do you look like? What brings you pleasure and happiness now?
- Imagine in detail your ideal life. What does it look like? Try to capture some special sights, smells, and tastes. The detail will make the picture more realistic.
- Now this visualization will help define your goals.
- Be realistic is the best way to handle any situation. Don’t blame yourself or others. Failures happen, there’s no way to avoid them.
Learn a lesson for yourself.  X Reliable source Harvard Business Review Go to source Sometimes you will feel like things are bad. That you won’t reach your goal because it’s too high, and eventually you’ll change your goals and take a different path. But remember that failure happens to everyone. If you learn to learn lessons from failures and falls, you can avoid them in the future.  X Source of Information
How to Change Yourself: 50 golden tips
There are thousands of tips on how to change yourself. To save you time, we’ve compiled the most valuable of these tips into one article, dividing them into the 7 most important areas of life. Ready to start working on yourself? Then let’s begin.
1. Determination and Success
Set goals and strive to achieve them. To be successful, you need to be clear about what you want to achieve. So you should always have a goal in front of you: exact, clear, important and achievable.
Make at least some progress every day. If you don’t know how to change yourself for the better, remember that even a little progress is better than trampling on the spot. Just make sure that in the evening each day you are at least one step closer to your goal.
Wake up early . Almost all people are most productive in the morning hours (even “owls”). Waking up early, there is a chance to do almost all the work already by lunch.
Make a plan for the day. Collecting tasks in the form of a convenient list, it is more convenient to manage time and spend it properly.
Prioritize . Among the actual goals there are always those whose achievement is most important. You should pay maximum attention to them.
Live in the Present Day . Our life consists of a limited number of days, and it is necessary to value each day. Many people live their days and years in daydreams, depriving themselves of small momentary joys.
Take care of your appearance. Many people are careless about their own appearance, believing that self-care is a waste of time. Always make sure that your clothes are clean, neat and well ironed.
2. The Right Attitudes
Start the day with a smile. There is a two-way relationship between mood and facial expression. A smile not only indicates a good mood, but is also quite capable of lifting it.
Get rid of oppressive problems . Sometimes we put off solving problems, considering them unimportant. But they are constantly in mind and spoil the mood, so they need to solve as quickly as possible. Right now, choose the most oppressive problem, think of 10 possible solutions, choose the best and act!
Do not think about the mistakes of the past. You should not look back for a long time. A person who wants to change himself or herself should only look forward.
Be grateful . The ability to feel gratitude is one of the most important skills for successful people. Only by being able to see and appreciate what he has, a person can be truly happy.
Do good deeds . This is an easy way to feel your own importance and receive positive emotions in the form of gratitude.
Accept what you can’t fix. You don’t have to waste energy worrying about nothing. Just accept the circumstances beyond your control.
Read more books . It’s enough to read one book a week to read a hundred in two years. Most people read less in a lifetime. But on the road to self-development, it’s foolish to look up to most people.
Improve your competitiveness . There is some competition in every area of our lives. And if you intend to get only the best out of life, learn to be competitive in everything.
Develop character, intelligence and important skills . You need to pay daily attention to the development of important skills. By practicing purposefully, you can make a big difference in yourself and deal with most of your weaknesses.
Learn English . The most valuable documentation, research results, and textbooks on modern technology are all published predominantly in English. More than 1 billion people are fluent in this language. Nowadays English is a must for anyone who wants to develop, reads books and regularly searches for important information.
Do educate yourself. In the former Soviet Union there is a common belief that a person does not need to study after graduation. In Western countries, the prevailing concept is “Lifelong Learning. People from school are inculcated with the belief that one must learn on their own, not stopping to develop after graduation.
Broaden your horizons. Constantly try something new, have unusual experiences, and try to avoid routine. This will not only allow you to become a versatile person, but do not lose interest in life.
Do not watch TV. The reasons are quite obvious.
Learn the method of blind typing . By learning to type blindly, you can manage your time much better. It is also worth to learn the hot keys that help speed up your work with the computer.
Seek new acquaintances. It’s not hard to meet people. You can find many reasons and occasions to make new acquaintances almost daily. This will help you develop your communication skills and make friends, mentors or clients. Avoiding introductions and communication is one of the biggest stupid things people do.
Expand your vocabulary . Write out new words you hear or read, find their meanings, memorize them, and try to use them in your communication. This will make your speech more literate and beautiful.
Face your fears. We are all afraid of something, and it keeps us from enjoying life. Look for ways to reduce your fears by overcoming and eradicating them.
Get out of your comfort zone . Among the recommendations on how to change yourself, this one comes up more often than any other, but that only underscores its validity. The well-known principle “No pain, no development” applies not only to sports, but also to personal growth. Only work leads to development.
4. Health and Sports
Drink clean water. All our body processes require a constant supply of clean water. It is related to this well-known recommendation to drink not less than 2 liters of water daily. Keep in mind that you should drink evenly throughout the day. Also, be sure to drink a glass of water before breakfast and before going to bed.
Watch your diet . Improving the quality of your diet is quite easy. Make sure there are at least 5 different vegetables and 5 different fruits in a week. Make breakfast light but calorie-dense (scrambled eggs, oatmeal, or a small portion of meat with a side dish is great). Lunch should be the most nourishing, and dinner should be light and low-calorie.
Exercise every day. You can go to the gym 2-3 times and have a grueling workout there, but there is no substitute for regular exercise. Exercise, go out for a jog, sign up for a pool. Light physical activity should be present every day.
Take care of your dental health. Your quality of life depends greatly on your oral health. Sick teeth compromise the quality of your diet, and poorly chewed food is more difficult to digest and digest. If you have tooth decay or other diseases, get them treated and prevent them from developing in the future. Brush twice a day, floss and rinse your teeth, and have a checkup at the dental office every six months.
Get enough sleep. We often skimp on getting a good night’s sleep, figuring we can’t afford to waste time on it. But a person who doesn’t get enough sleep thinks and acts more slowly, and the quality of the decisions they make is noticeably impaired. To be healthy and efficient, sleep at least 7 hours daily.
Don’t eat before going to bed. A full stomach significantly worsens the quality of sleep. Therefore, you should have dinner 3-4 hours before you go to bed, so that the food has time to digest. About what 12 foods you can not eat for dinner, read this article.
Take a walk in the fresh air. If the distance is reasonable, it is useful to walk to work. A half-hour walk is a good exercise for the cardiovascular system and a great opportunity to enrich the blood with oxygen.
5. Personal finances
Create a personal emergency fund . It is necessary to have an amount that will allow you to look for a new job, if necessary, without grasping the first offer that comes along. The “stability fund” should be enough for six months of normal life.
Make the decision to become a wealthy person. To change yourself, it is important to fundamentally change your relationship to money. This means that from now on you will earn, save and spend money so as to ensure full financial independence.
Set aside 10% of your income. This tip is essential for people who are used to spending everything they earn. Even if your income is small, the difference between 90% and 100% will be insignificant. On the other hand, if you set aside 10%, you will eventually accumulate enough money to make an important, expensive purchase. It’s best to save them in a long-term deposit account.
Keep track of your expenses. We’re constantly spending small sums on small trinkets and unnecessary things. If you start keeping track, you may find that you’re wasting 30% of your income. By eliminating unnecessary expenses, you can improve your own financial situation, regardless of your initial income level or other conditions.
Avoid spontaneous purchases. People tend to make impulse purchases when they see a novelty or a promotion in a store, and then regret it. Always give yourself 24 hours to think about a major purchase.
6. Emotional harmony.
Smile more often. A smile improves your mood and well-being, and people around you intuitively sympathize with a smiling person.
Do not be too confident . Most people tend to think they are always right. But a constructively thinking person understands that everyone is wrong. So he always considers the possibility that his point of view is wrong.
Endure difficulties. The world is not perfect, and trouble happens to everyone. Do not get upset and do not waste energy in vain, and learn to accept their own failures as valuable experience, allowing them to avoid repeating mistakes in the future.
Rejoice in every achievement. Our brain has a dopamine reward system that enhances our mood when we feel that we have succeeded. By consciously stimulating it with every little achievement, it’s easy to train yourself to be a successful person.
Don’t make excuses. Having made a mistake, we try to explain this act to ourselves and others. But if you are looking for an effective way to change yourself for the better, start by admitting your own mistakes.
Do not argue with your loved ones. Keeping a good relationship is more important than being right.
7. Control your time .
Don’t put anything off. Any important thing should be done immediately, not inventing a reason to postpone it. Only after you have done a good job can you afford to rest.
For any work assign a deadline . This approach allows you to work in a focused and not distracted, so that your efficiency increases significantly.
Concentrate on one thing . Multitasking and productivity are incompatible. Doing one thing can greatly improve your efficiency.
Remember and keep in mind the Pareto principle. It states that 80% of the result depends on 20% of the actions. Everyone who devotes time to self-development knows about the existence of this pattern. Learn to find these 20% of the most important actions and give them maximum attention.
Use modern technology . The smartphone can become a faithful assistant or “time eater. Learn to use it as a tool to get things done with maximum efficiency.
Think not about the problem, but about the solution . Thinking about the problem and the consequences is enough for 10% of attention, the remaining 90% should be spent on finding a solution.
Use the “3 minute rule” . If a case requires less than 3 minutes to solve – do it now.
You don’t have to spend a lot of time looking for the answer to the question: how to change yourself. Start doing it. Everything you need to start on the path to change and transformation is gathered in this article.