How to change a man’s attitude toward himself?
Hello.I am an overly kind person and often forgave my man when he hurt me, humiliated me a couple of times, said nasty things. He is unemotional, secretive man by nature, and I am the opposite – open, friendly, innocence. After quarrels I was always first to reconcile, because he did not consider himself guilty of anything, and when I was waiting for the first step from him, I did not wait, and from the fact that I missed him, I restored communication first. He may not answer the texts (although he has time to answer and he likes to communicate with them from time to time), he may not pick up the phone on purpose when I call… I do not know why I put up with this attitude. I have enough admirers, but for some reason I am drawn to him. About the fact that on many important questions he simply does not give me any explanation, I am even silent. Questions such as why he treats me so, why he does only what he wants, if he says that he really needs me.When we met, the first month of our relationship was perfect. Then he saw my feelings – and downplayed all his good qualities. I do not want to break up with him, but I want him to start respecting me, to appreciate me, as before we saw each other at least 3-4 times a week, not 1 time as now. I am very afraid to lose him, and I understand that I do not respect myself. But what exactly should I do in order not to lose him and to change my attitude to myself? I have never felt like this with other men. I used to value myself more and was proud.
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You have one way out. send him to hell. And either he comes running. or he doesn’t. But this is the only chance, all else will not work, about you not badly wiped his feet. In general, why so humiliate, I had a similar relationship (not to such an extent really), I sent him away, ran, only I did not need it anymore, I could not forgive.
He got what he wanted. He’s not interested in you anymore.
Get these “buts” out of your head. I want, but. I don’t want, but. a lot of internal conflicts because of what happens not the way you want.
“I used to value myself more and be proud. And where did it all go? He’s the last chance. Why am I so devastated, my friend is the same. still humiliates everything, humiliates. He is already dating someone else, you have seen more than once. And she comes to me and starts to say: “He said there is nothing between them. I have been brainwashing her for a couple of months now, there is some progress, but not much.
He once told me that he is a loner in life and that he is best off alone. And during those periods of time that we were not in touch, according to HIS words, he felt fine, lived as usual, happily. But he adds that I am the most important person in his life, that it wouldn’t be as good without me.
Maybe I should stop writing and calling first completely, not make any steps first, like asking to go for a walk? Wait for any initiative from him?
I’ve had such a mess since the beginning (we’ve only been dating for 2 months, and meetings are rare – 1, rarely 2 times a week. and what to do?
He once told me that he is a loner in life and that he is best off alone. And during those periods of time that we were not in touch, according to HIS words, he felt fine, lived as usual, happily. But he adds that I am the most important person in his life, that it wouldn’t be as good without me.
Maybe I should stop writing and calling first completely, not make any steps first, like asking to go for a walk? Wait for any initiative from him?
And when you do so, he’ll fuss first. And then, if you have a chance, he’ll tell you that you also did not really want to meet – you did not call or write. such are they. at least I have it this way – I do not call, I disappear to miss him and come running, and as a result, he tells me that you do not miss me, I call you and you do not, this is a game of one gate, blah-blah.
In general it seems to me and life often confirms it, if so seldom travels, then there is someone else. 100% practically, do your MH pick up the phone in the evenings?
He once told me that he is a loner in life and that he is best off alone. And during those periods of time that we were not in touch, according to HIS words, he felt fine, lived as usual, happily. But he adds that I am the most important person in his life, that it wouldn’t be as good without me.
Maybe I should stop writing and calling first completely, not make any steps first, like asking to go for a walk? Wait for any initiative from him?
Honey, good, you are so eager to establish a relationship with a man you care about, but who does not need you. i sympathize, but let’s face it. he does not need you. leave. if yours, he will come and find you. and if not, better now than later, when it hurts. let go. switch to something else. and someone who will appreciate you, i am sure is already somewhere near you, you just do not look hard in his direction, shaded by these relations.
9, you said it right.
“If the man had not wiped his feet on the author, she herself would not be so hung up on him.
Why don’t normal guys suit you, but you are attracted to scoundrels who take advantage of you, author? some women have perverse taste, they are attracted to men with rottenness. this can be cured with time, when he drinks all your nerves, youth and nerve, then you will become smarter. but it would not be too late.
IrinaHe once told me himself that he is a loner in life and he is best off alone. And in the intervals that we did not communicate, according to HIS words, he felt fine, lived as usual, happily. But he adds that I am the most important person in his life, that it wouldn’t be as good without me.
Maybe I should stop writing and calling first completely, not make any steps first, like asking to go for a walk? Wait for any initiative from him?
Honey, good, you are so eager to establish a relationship with a man you care about, but who does not need you. i sympathize, but let’s face it. he does not need you. leave. if yours, he will come and find you. and if not, better now than later, when it hurts. let go. switch to something else. and someone who will appreciate you, i am sure is already somewhere near you, you just do not look hard in his direction, shaded by these relations.
But if he did not need me, he would not resume communication with me, but he would just let me know that it was not worth communicating further? And so every time I made one phone call or one text message, I returned communication with him, and in fact the same day we communicated with him again as if nothing had happened.
I just don’t know why he’s so mean to me. I am much younger than him, work at a good job, good looks, not dumb, like he said I am the most interesting person in his life (we always had something to talk about, he loves to listen to me…) I can’t understand why he doesn’t respect and appreciate me so much.
You know, I can’t just leave him, this man is very dear, I can only overpower myself and stop making any steps first. I feel terrible anxiety inside, I sit in my office at work (thank God I am alone) and tears are flowing. My friend says she has never seen me like this.Told me to stop calling him, write, but always when he calls or writes, answer, be kind, affectionate. That they say it should help.
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But if he did not need me, he would not resume communication with me, but he would just let me know that it was not worth communicating further? And so every time I made one phone call or one text message, I returned communication with him, and in fact the same day we communicated with him again as if nothing had happened.
he is flattered by your attention. all the more you are an interesting companion, you can have a good time and relax. he is o-obodno with you. he wanted to go. he wanted to come. at his first demand you drop everything and write him, call, meet. if a man wants to meet, he will always find time, and if not, he will always find an excuse.
“According to HIS words, he felt fine, lived as usual, happily. “He didn’t care if you were in his life or not.
“That never happened with other men. You should just get over it, to get experience and next time do not buy into such a relationship. they are exhausting and you do not need it. and the guy only needs it to raise his ego.
Intelligence. Believe me…but there are so few people like that))
Oh, it’s so messed up. He doesn’t need you, he doesn’t need you. You need this relationship. So you try. And you pout, and you call, and you’re affectionate when he screws up, and you’re afraid of losing him. It’s the whole list. He just talks and does nothing. Well, let me tell you that you’re nice and life with you is somehow more pleasant, what am I supposed to feel sorry for? He’s not sorry, either. It’s true you’re a nicer person. You don’t hold a grudge, you swallow everything without chewing. And why not? Why would he abandon you and give you up? You’re so convenient! Sometimes he gets bored in the evening, sms-ku dropped and you ran, standing on the doorstep with slippers in his teeth and a bowl of hot potatoes. And you’ll understand, and regret, and sex is not unnecessary. Well, who’s going to give that up voluntarily? He’s still sane. And you, unfortunately, are not. He won’t respect you and he won’t change anything. He’s perfectly happy with everything and he’s fine. Why would he change anything? And you. You’re not going to leave him. You’re attracted to him. You’re afraid of losing him. You’re thinking of how to be even nicer and bend over more under him, just so everything would be nice and good. So long as only one person is working on the relationship and only one treasures it, it won’t do any good. They are doomed, alas. Nothing you can not do, the train has left. It’s him you care about, and you seem to be just convenient for him. First, maybe you hooked him, and as you began to bend over and devotionally look into his eyes, and thus lost himself, and he became uninterested. And who is interested in a man who has lost himself, dissolved? So suffer a little, you won’t quit anyway. Sooner or later everything will be over anyway. From now on you’ll be smarter.
Do you respect yourself in this situation? Does your behavior now give you respect as a woman? Abstract and look at yourself from the side. This is an example of the behavior of a woman. Crying, writing, calling, afraid of losing, adjusting to a man, running at his first call, swallowing absolutely all of his ugly and hurtful actions. Would you respect such a woman yourself? No! Well, maybe she would scold a little, shrugged his shoulders in bewilderment – they say she is a fool, and she would have caused you a sense of pity or disdain. That’s exactly the feelings you arouse in him. Why should he respect you at all?
Lady Lya, thank you for your adequate comment, gradually it is beginning to come to me)))) I am sorry it is so late!
I think that the best option – is to score on everything and if he will write, call – to answer. but still be busy with themselves and their lives, and when he is somewhere to call for a walk, to agree to only 2-3 times, if these 2-3 times, of course, will be. Probably the problem is my willpower, I have no patience at all and I am addicted to pretty words. Is there any way I can break myself so I don’t have to bend to him anymore? I’m afraid that his calls and sms for “just to talk” still endure, and if he starts calling to see, snap, and immediately agree (here, on the forum, myself easy to convince that I can, but in life a little different.
By the way, his horoscope Aquarius, and I Gemini. I read in some thread that men of this sign often take advantage of Gemini women because of their kindness and non-harmfulness. I don’t believe in horoscopes, but it got me thinking.
Irina,if you came to the idea that everything does not suit you,you need to forget about your weaknesses and finally start to change everything,if you voiced your problems this is the beginning,this is the start,you should understand that if you start another tactic of behavior,then do not retreat from it,because if you buckle,he will think that his power over you is growing! Ignore, toughness, voicing your desires, he must learn to hear you and be happy with you! By the way my man is an Aquarius, he is completely different!
The way you behave and treat yourself, any fool will use you, though Aquarius, though a lion – no difference. No need to break yourself. You should never force, break, bend yourself! Remember this. You should work on yourself, improve yourself. If you are a kind person, very well. Remember that good things must come with fists. That you have to be able to stand up for yourself in life. That you must have a sense of pride, self-respect, always remain an integral person. You need to work on yourself, and the sooner the better. That’s what you have to do. There is a lot of literature on psychology and these issues. You can find them on the Internet and in bookstores, or you can register for a seminar. If you feel that you lack it in your life, work on it. If you don’t, you’ll just keep stepping on the same rake and crying. Think about the future. Your comrade isn’t worth a damn. “The words of a gentleman are not worth much!” You’re a grown man, don’t you know that it’s not by glory, it’s by deeds? So get it through your head. Otherwise another amateur will come along and sing, and you’ll spread your ears again, won’t you? Isn’t it scary to live like that? No one is urging you to be beastly. But a good=strong man is one thing. And ingratiating rag, which everyone wipes his feet on, is something else entirely. Figure out what’s more important to you. To engage in moral masochism, because it is more convenient for you to cut your tail in pieces. You’re too lazy to work on yourself and suffering beckons. It’s so romantic – she suffered from love and fought for it. ;o) So you go on this date, he will fuck you bodily and morally – and go back to his den contented and happy. And you’ll stare at the phone and cry again. And so 18 times. Do you want it? If you want it, go ahead. But you know exactly what you’re getting into. It’s your choice and it’s up to you. You don’t have the willpower? Here’s a good reason to start building it up and establishing it. Go for it.
How to refresh a relationship? 70 ways to improve your relationship
All relationships go through ups and downs, but not everyone gets to keep a relationship for years to come. How can you make a relationship better, strengthen it, and bring newness to it? A list of the best tips for a great relationship.
7. Show each other tenderness and affection just for fun.
8. Cook your favorite meals or buy your soulmate’s favorite goodies.
9. Feel free to tease, make each other laugh and amuse each other.
10. Refresh the relationship with romantic evenings or dates.
Sezer Arslan , Unsplash
11. Add a pinch of jealousy to the relationship to keep it toned down.
12. Cook together so the two of you can spend time in the kitchen doing the same thing.
Daniel Schaffer , Unsplash
21. Take care of your appearance and try to always be on your best behavior.
22. Make up your own jokes and signs.
23. Go out together to a cafe or a movie. Take walks and go on dates.
24. Tell each other your thoughts, secrets, worries and feelings.
25. Treat each other politely and respectfully.
26. Don’t let boredom destroy the relationship. Refresh the relationship in any way you can.
Daniil Lobachev , Unsplash
31. Learn to apologize when you have offended by accident or on purpose.
32. Give each other personal space.
33. Say how much you miss each other when you are separated in the morning.
34. Put the phone away and put things on hold when your soulmate wants to talk.
35. Ask each other for advice and then discuss.
36. Play the relationship honestly and without manipulation. It kills feelings.
37. Take daily walks together, even short ones.
38. Find common goals and dreams that will unite.
39. Cuddle and touch each other. This brings you closer and strengthens the relationship.
40. Exercise together: run, swim or go to workouts.
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41. Learn not only to listen to each other, but also to hear each other.
42. Buy toys for lovemaking from a special store.
43. How to strengthen the relationship? Trust and believe each other.
44. Get a massage without being asked, draw a bath, or do some other nice thing.
45. Forgive all your past mistakes, without reminders later.
46. Switch roles when you do things the other did.
47. Add a pinch of romance, like in the movies, to make the relationship brighter.
48. Say what you care about in the relationship to smooth out the rough edges.
49. Come up with common traditions based on some things and events.
50. Make love regularly.
Ali Pazani , Unsplash.
51. Don’t take the relationship for granted, but keep winning each other over.
52. Switch from routine roles when you come home from work to roles of being in love.
