How to build a good relationship?

How to build a strong relationship with a man: psychologists’ tips

The brain of a man and a woman is different, so their psychology is also different. Entering a relationship, everyone pursues their own goal and not always this goal coincides. Therefore, girls are very often disappointed in relationships. To achieve harmony in a relationship with a man, you need painstaking work, which requires the right behavior and, consequently, actions. There is no manual for the relationship, but the experience of generations of women who have created strong marriages.

The first step to starting to build a relationship with a man is self-esteem. An under- or over-estimated self-esteem will have a huge impact on a relationship with a man. You need to love yourself, then the partner will be able to feel it. In this matter, the main thing – do not go overboard, so as not to become a narcissist. In a relationship, as in all areas of life, there must be a clear goal. A man also wants to date a confident and strong woman who has her own busy life filled with various events. He likes a girl who enjoys her life. Long out of fashion are housewives and ladies who selflessly set the goal of life to serve the man they love.

The next step is positioning. This step is for those who are just about to meet their soulmate. The first impression that the girl will make on the guy will play a big role in their future. If he sees a frivolous person, he is unlikely to be interested in building a family with her. The same goes for the type of librarian. A girl should be able to use the external data that was given to her by nature, and to emphasize them. The preferred style of dress – casual. And the best makeup is the one that is not visible. It is worth paying attention to the production of speech.

Now comes the moment of acquaintance. The girl likes the guy, she should remember that she is still a representative of the weaker sex and the main step is made by the young man. She can provoke him to it by giving him non-verbal signs, such as a look for seven seconds, a slight smile.

If there is already a partner, the question of the right choice and whether the girl really wants to tie her life together is decided. This is why people often pass off other people’s desires as their own. They are pressured by society, family, friends with phrases like “it’s time for you to get married”, “he’s a good guy, don’t let him get away”, “he will be a good husband”, etc. So it’s important to listen to your inner voice.

After setting a goal, creating an image, and getting to know each other, the next stage begins – meetings. Some men at this stage propose or even hint at sex, and sometimes even sex for friendship, parrying that he is not yet ready for a relationship. You can’t agree to this, even thinking that someday he will. You can’t agree to sex on the first date, or the second, or even the third.

At the beginning of a relationship, a girl should not write or call first. Psychology tells us that men are the prey. The more unavailable the victim, the more interesting. The next rule is not to rush to answer his messages immediately, especially in the first stages. Don’t date on a daily basis. This will allow the man to appreciate the moments spent.

The guy has to voice how he feels about the girl. If this topic is not brought up, the partner observes his behavior. The first thing he says when meeting some people is “this is my girlfriend Katya” or “this is Katya, my girlfriend”. If he says friend, or just a name, that’s how he treats it. You need to discuss who you are to each other.

The ideal relationship is built on seven components, these include:

  • Respect;
  • love;
  • trust;
  • support;
  • loyalty;
  • honesty;
  • communication.

Work on relationships on a daily basis, based on the above components. Most people believe that there is no need to work hard in this area.

Strong relationships are built on women’s wisdom. Getting offended over nothing, making scenes and scandals are the lot of hysterical women. A girl who wants to create a family, will discuss the problems calmly, will be able to keep silent where necessary.

Respect for personal space. Most girls make a mistake at the beginning of a relationship, which then leads to an unfortunate outcome. They try to fill a man’s entire life with themselves, do not respect his boundaries, try to dictate what to do and what not to do.

Collaborative action. Nothing strengthens an attitude like doing things together. It can be trips, hiking, playing sports together, solving some puzzles and even repairs.

At the age of 30, dating starts to take on a different character. At this age, people already have some experience, most often it is unpleasant. You should not share this information with your partner. You need to keep your dramas to yourself or your girlfriends. Going on a date, forget about the past.

At the age of 30, it is easy for a girl to turn into a boring and sad person. To start a relationship, you need to not show a pessimistic attitude. The same applies to candor.

You shouldn’t give up on relationships with divorced people. The man also has a bad experience, but he wants to find his happiness. These men are not afraid of responsibility and know what they want from life.

It is not worth clinging to a man who is not a good fit. Many girls are convinced that they will not meet a worthy man anymore, so they are in a burdensome relationship. If the inner voice says that this is not the right person, it is worth listening to him.

After 30 there are advantages – no need to pretend to be someone else. You can be yourself, speak honestly and openly with your partner.

After 40, the chances of meeting your half decrease, but they are there. Here the recommendations do not change and remain the same as at age 30.

But at the age of 50, the mindset is already changing. This is where experience begins to play a positive role. At this age, relationships are not built on sex, but on communication. A man will seek the psycho-emotional closeness and a woman with whom he will meet old age. Preference is given to mature women.

Relationships with Aries are full of bright colors, if he likes a girl, he will stop at nothing to get her. It is this sign that needs a strong and independent woman. In order to keep such a relationship, the girl should bring a thrill.

If a girl wants to start a family, she should date a Taurus. But to keep the connection, it is required to be faithful, affectionate and kind. Forget about all the guys and men who were before him and do not mention them even in conversation.

With Gemini, it’s not so easy – there are a lot of women around him. To beat the competition and become the one and only, you must first learn how to dress stylishly, know how to hold a conversation on various topics and be his muse.

When communicating with Cancer, one should not rush things. This person will take a long time to look around. When he is ready, he will make a serious step himself.

With Leo, the relationship is more complicated. He always needs to demonstrate that his woman is the best. Therefore, he chooses the most beautiful ones. They write all their former girlfriends in the category of girlfriends and communicate with them.

To build a lasting union with Virgo, you need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to suppress a sense of ownership. And put up with his communication with ex-girlfriends. They are very free-spirited, so they do not limit their partner.

Libras are men who know how to give love, and expect the same from their partner. To strengthen the relationship and create a strong bond, a Libra man needs to constantly talk about his feelings. This man loves romantic dinners.

With Scorpio, communication is simple, they need sex, submission and honesty to build a strong union. They want to be leaders in attitude and hate if they are lied to.

Sagittarius prefers sexy girls. This is just the right option where you can bring out your sexy side and not look frivolous. Do not take the initiative: as with the previous sign, Sagittarius wants to be the leader. A girl he needs is not wordy and such that she can listen. If the partner wants to get Sagittarius forever, she will have to make friends with his friends first.

Relationship with Capricorn is a communication with a guy who works both day and night. He is very fond of his career, so trying to get between him and his profession will be futile. It will take a lot of patience and effort. For this the girl will be rewarded, because Capricorns are loving and faithful husbands.

In communicating with Aquarius you can not expect romance, they are not interested in courting. They like partying and going out, and a girl for them is perceived as a friend. It is almost impossible to build a serious relationship with this sign, and if there will be one, it will be short-lived.

With the Pisces man should be extremely careful, harsh statements, criticism can hurt his delicate nature. Girls who want a strong relationship with Pisces should show them their love and care.

How to build a good relationship with a guy

Contributor(s): Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in San Francisco. She specializes in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s Degree in Psychological Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has interned at Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of experience in psychological counseling and has been trained in the harm reduction model.

Number of sources used in this article: 17. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.

Number of views of this article: 12 731.

Relationships can bring a lot of joy and pleasure, but they also take a lot of energy and create difficulties. Even if you and your boyfriend love each other, that doesn’t guarantee the great relationship you dream of. Learn how to build a lasting relationship that will make you happy.

  • For example, you can play cards, go camping, try new things, or volunteer.
  • The point is to find an activity that you both enjoy. Discuss your preferences and find common interests.
  • You don’t have to do the same thing all the time. If you’re not too happy with the state of affairs in the relationship, repeating what you’ve been through won’t help improve the situation.
  • Ask the guy, “What do you like to do when we’re not together? I’d like to try it with you. You could also say, “We have a new play at the theater. I’ve always wanted to see it. Why don’t we go together?”

  • For example, express your gratitude when he pays for dinner, takes out the trash, or holds the door for you. Say, “I’m so glad you remembered to do the dishes yesterday, even though it was very late,” or, “Thank you for the delicious coffee. My mood immediately improved.”
  • Talk about what you like about his appearance, compliment his beard or the smell of his new cologne. Say, “That shirt accentuates your figure perfectly,” or, “I like your new hair so much. It looks great on you.”
  • Dress up for the guy. Wear his favorite blouse, nice underwear and choose a perfume he likes.

  • For example, touch your boyfriend more often during conversations, hold his hand, put your head on his shoulder.
  • Don’t limit yourself to quick and fleeting kisses.
  • Hug and caress each other while watching TV.

  • For example, buy his favorite coffee if you agreed to meet in the morning or make coffee yourself if you live together. Buy your boyfriend’s favorite treats if you decide to watch a movie.
  • If your boyfriend always loses his pens at work, buy him a whole set and put it in the glove compartment of his car. Carry spare sunglasses with him if he often forgets to take his own.

Relationship Specialist.

Alvina Louie is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in San Francisco. She specializes in relationship counseling. She received her master’s degree in psychological counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has interned at Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of experience in psychological counseling and has been trained in the harm reduction model.

“Show your partner that he can rely on you,” adds Alvina Louis, a marriage and family counselor. – Men have higher expectations in this aspect because that’s the way their brains are set up. You don’t have to be perfect, but if what you did upset your partner, apologize, even if it was nothing. So you’re not giving him power over you, but showing that he can rely on you, even in small things.

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