How to behave with your lover if you are married?

How to behave with a married man to get the most out of this relationship

How to behave with a married man, so that the relationship brought the maximum pleasure, only the temptresses know. As a rule, the conscious choice of position mistress make already married ladies or women who do not like “live happily ever after”. Meetings without obligation, each of which is filled with romance and vivid sex, can paint the gray of everyday life.

Nevertheless, even the most pleasant holidays, which take place almost every day, you may eventually get bored. So your partner may be bored with his mistress, and he will want fresh emotions. Deliver him from even trying to think about a new passion will help our tips on how to behave with a married man.

Features of the relationship with a married man

Many women tend to mistakenly believe that by registering their marriage to a man, they will thus bind him to themselves forever. But, unfortunately, this is far from the case. Now, however regrettable to realize, adultery is becoming a common phenomenon. The man is not stopped by the stamp in his passport, nor by the presence of children. A couple that has been married for many decades and in which the spouses are faithful to each other – a real rarity.

Sometimes it happens that a man and a woman meet at a friendly party and spend the night together, after which they never meet again. They are bound only pleasant memories of the minutes of unbridled passion and nothing more. But more often such a relationship lasts for several years.

It turns out the union in which a man and a woman are in unequal conditions. In principle, she is happy, but does not have his favorite 100%, is constantly in the expectation that he is just about to come to her and stay forever. A man, on the contrary, gets the best of everything: his mistress takes care of herself, is always in a great mood, arranges romantic dinners, does not reproach, is able to listen and support when he needs it so much. Even if all this a man does not get from his wife, he is quite happy with what he gives him a mistress.

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A woman in a relationship with a married man must be mentally prepared to live in constant tension. She is always waiting for him to make time to meet or spend the New Year vacations with her. And the main expectation is his divorce from his wife. As a rule, the right time to divorce his spouse never comes. In addition, constantly there are some events that prevent this: the children have not yet reached adulthood, my beloved mother-in-law is ill, my wife will not survive such a blow, finding out that her husband had an affair on the side for almost five years, etc.

It turns out that all his life a woman has to stay in such a difficult state of mind: to torment himself with remorse and continue this relationship or force of will to break this vicious circle and leave his beloved, returning to his family. Sometimes conscience begins to prevail, I want to run away and forget everything. But then he comes again, confesses his love, and she once again melts in his arms. So that ladies do not make mistakes, being in a similar situation, we will help you find the answer, how to behave with a married man, if you are a mistress.

10 rules of conduct with a married man that will help not to dissolve into him

1. Talking about his wife under the strictest prohibition

Many women make the grave mistake of trying to ask their lover about his family and their relationship with his wife. Do you really think that he is now honestly tell you the whole truth? Surely he will try to convince you that he is so unhappy with her, he had to get married, there has never been love, and in general he is with her out of pity, and they sleep in separate rooms for over a year. You can go on and on listening to these fables. All the same, you will never hear an honest answer, which sounds something like this: “I am so comfortable,” “I have fun with you and with his wife. If you don’t want to traumatize your psyche even more, don’t look for answers to such questions.

Do not, under any circumstances, stoop to insulting his wife. It’s his choice, and by speaking unflatteringly about her, you’re humiliating him. The man may take it as a personal insult.

2. Don’t cause a scandal.

The second prohibition – do not cause a scandal married lover. Surely he gets it all from his dearest spouse. Do not try to control his every move, do not make any demands and do not drive him into a box. You’re still not able to fully own his free time and himself. Remember, since you’ve chosen for yourself this way, learn to be fundamentally different from his wife: next to you he should feel love, affection, care and understanding. Be easy, positive and calm in his presence.

If you entered into a relationship with a married man, pursuing only selfish goals, it is likely that your relationship will be short-lived. Men are very sensitive to insincerity. Also, do not give a man expensive gifts – this can cause him a lot of trouble when he will be justified in front of his wife, explaining their appearance.

Do not fall in love with a married lover

If you are bored, lonely or simply decide to behave in such a way as to raise your self-esteem with a married man, there is a very real risk of falling in love with him without memory. Of course, it is possible that in your case there will be a happy ending, he will leave his family for you and you will live with him happily ever after. But the chances are slim. Much more likely the following scenario: you will lose your head in love with him, after a while you will have to break up, as he has no right to leave his wife and children, and you will be struggling with depression on your own. Believe me, building a new relationship with a free member of the stronger sex will be very difficult for you.

4. Do not blame yourself.

Not always a woman is aware that her chosen one is not free. Or, perhaps, the passion aroused the head of both, and you can not cope with their feelings. It is possible that his feelings are sincere. But more often it turns out that a man just wants to diversify his boring family life.

Nevertheless, no one removes the responsibility from the woman. In any case, the only winner here is the man. He had fun and as if nothing happened, he returned to his wife, who will forgive him and will continue to build their cozy family nest.

Keep a sober mind, do not lose your head. As soon as you start to seem suspicious of his behavior, do not hesitate to get out of the relationship. It won’t do you any good.

5. Remove your rose-colored glasses as quickly as possible.

Of course, you simply do not have a chance not to fall head over heels in love with the imposing, handsome, intelligent, handsome man, who buries you generous gifts, and even has a high position. As a rule, men who are not faithful to their wives say the same words to their mistresses:

The wife is a real scandaless, throwing tantrums on and off;

His wife is a mercenary bitch who doesn’t appreciate his kindness, but tries to trick him with money and expensive gifts;

And he has to put up with it all: cooking dinner, doing the laundry, cleaning – everything has to be done by himself;

He and his wife have been living like roommates for over a year, they sleep in separate rooms, what kind of love can we talk about?

Such men are trying to play on pity, telling such stories naive mistress. In fact, he is quite warm and comfortable in bed with both. His wife is quite an adequate woman who certainly doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. So he is trying to deserve even more of your attention and care. After all, you probably can not resist and feel sorry for this poor fellow, who is so unlucky in life.

If you can not stop such a relationship until you can, then at least begin to think that you are being manipulated. In this situation, you certainly do not have to prove anything to anyone, make excuses and feel guilty.

In any case, do not make sacrifices. Spend your evenings the way you want. Have fun with friends, make new friends, enjoy life. Even if you break up with a married man, you will certainly not lose anything of value.

6. Don’t expect a ring from him.

Lovely ladies, well, do not flatter yourself! If a man has many years of family life, quite adequate wife, beloved children, jointly acquired property and the sea of happy moments that unite the family, it is unlikely he will dare to take such a risky step – to abandon everything and start life from scratch. Moreover, it is not known how balanced psyche possesses you. Your relationship is just an affair on the side, which is necessary in order to diversify your life.

7. Be aware of even the little things.

Analyze his behavior. Surely there will be moments that stress you out. He may argue that his wife does not care, but every time she calls rushes to the phone, dashing. He claims that he is bored with his wife, but at the same time disappears for a week or even more, leaving with her to the sea. And in general, it is possible that at this moment your lover besides you is in a relationship with more than one woman.

8. Get everything you wanted – go away.

Be honest with yourself first of all – you wanted to get away from him an expensive necklace, a trip to the Maldives, good sex. Did you get it? Then end the relationship. Maybe it’s too harsh, but it’s honest. Either way, he’s using you, too. So break up with him without regret.

9. Don’t let your personal boundaries be violated.

Don’t live a man’s life. Don’t give up meetings with friends, don’t abandon your favorite hobby. If you don’t know right away that he’s not available, that’s okay. Just advise him to deal with the old relationship first and only then come back to you. Believe me, it is unlikely you will ever meet him again.

10. Do not change your habits.

Psychologists are unanimous in the opinion that only insecure women get involved with married men. Too low self-esteem does not allow them to find a decent man who would cherish this relationship and fear losing it, so they behave so that they dissolve into a married lover without a trace.

The 3 secrets of behavior with a married man not to bore him

How to behave with a married man so that he was attracted to you? If the relationship with a married man began, let’s figure out how to make him fall in love with you finally and irrevocably and every day he lost his head more and more. It’s no secret that most of these couples hang on sex. No, of course, the connection isn’t solely about the bed, but it is of basic importance. If you decide to play hard to get, the man may quickly lose all interest in you and go looking for a more accommodating young lady.

Appearance and sex

You’ll have to forget the phrases “I have a headache now”, “let’s not tonight”, etc. Come to your date, the man obviously expects to be met by a passionate person in erotic lingerie, not a tired woman in a washed robe with dirty hair gathered into a careless bun.

Even if your meeting with him was unplanned, you have to look spectacular. Of course, you don’t have to be in lace lingerie, a transparent robe and with a war paint on your face every time. Just do not be afraid to experiment, show imagination. Surprise your lover with a new image.

Do not take this advice literally. If your relationship will be nothing but sex, then believe me, the man will quickly become cold to you. After all, the relationship based solely on the physical attraction, can not exist for a long time.


In this case we do not mean to listen to all his heartbreaking stories about an evil and misunderstanding boss, strange colleagues and unloved wife. Just give him the opportunity to speak out sometimes, but do not become for him the so-called vest, which he will use in a moment of weakness. You have to remain the woman you love.

Here we are talking about a common hobby. If your lover is a soccer fan, offer him to go together to a match of his favorite team. If he can not live without fishing, organize a joint trip to the nature with fishing rods.

It is extremely important that in addition to common sexual desires unite you and joint hobbies, interests. Sex sooner or later will bore you if there is no spiritual closeness between the partners. Dates will be each time less and less often, and then will stop altogether.

Personal space

Once again, we repeat – do not completely dissolve into a man, even if you love him madly. He will not appreciate it. Moreover, he will consider you uninteresting woman, who has no hobbies and interests. That is, you run the risk of becoming a second wife.

Arrange him periodically little “surprises”: go with friends out of town, turn off the phone, do not go to a page of social networks. He also goes to his wife and children, and you do not ask him what he is doing there. So you are a free woman, free to do whatever you want. The more you are understatement, the longer his interest will last.

Make him jealous of you. This is not about openly flirting with a strange man in his presence. Just a little innocent flirting and chatting with a member of the stronger sex is not illegal at all. Every man is a hunter who does not intend to tolerate a rival, much less share his trophies with him. Yes, and this way you make sure that men like you and get a portion of endorphins. Who knows, maybe during such harmless flirting you will meet your true destiny.

8 mistakes in behavior with a married man-lover

If you still dared to take such a step and decided to stay in this love triangle, then below we give a number of simple rules, following which you will be able to avoid serious mistakes and, as a consequence, unnecessary worries, tantrums and misunderstandings:

Do not be intrusive. Do not call him a hundred times a day, do not ask for a meeting, do not throw all your business to spend time with him. Take care of yourself, and when he is ready to see you, agree to see him.

Don’t criticize his family, his wife, and don’t demand a divorce. Ideally, move off the subject altogether every time he brings it up himself. If so he tells you about the troubles at home, just listen to him silently.

Do not throw tantrums and showdown for nothing. Home it enough, and you have it come to get a portion of love, affection and understanding. So give it to him.

Throw out the obsession to introduce him to all your friends and acquaintances. A man hides your relationship so he won’t get into a bad situation with his wife or hear condemnation from his friends. You don’t want him to get into serious trouble because of you, do you?

Don’t ask for money and gifts. If the man wants to do you a favor, he does not need to remind you of this. This way you’ll only make him angry and make him doubt your sincerity and unselfish intentions.

Don’t forget about yourself. Always remember that the most important person in your life is yourself. Have fun, be happy and enjoy every moment. No need to completely dissolve in a man, he will not appreciate it.

Do not organize interrogation. He is a free man and does not have to account to you for every step and action.

No need to repeat a hundred times a day about his mad love for him. Do not be obsessive. Talk about it, but not too often.

Now you know how to behave with a married man. If you still dared to take such a difficult step and decided to enter into a relationship with an unmarried man, be kind to adhere to the above rules, which will save you from serious problems in the future. This is not to say that a relationship with a man requires a lot of effort, but you should be even more patient and careful with your married lover.

How to behave with a married man? 15 tips for the mistress

Corrector, editor journalist. Doing what I love for over six years.

The expert – Victoria Fomina

Physician sexologist highest category, psychiatrist, psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sex life.

The legend of polygamy men probably invented by men. So they justify their treason, and women are comforted. Why do men have mistresses, what do they lack at home? Perhaps the answer to this question is easier than it seems. It is enough to compare how the mistress and wife behave, to understand the reason for this arrangement.

Why do men go left-handed?

The reasons why men have mistresses are different for each of them. The most common are:

  • Something is missing in the family. This something may be the appearance (for example, the wife stopped taking care of herself, and the man wants to see a beautiful woman, but not ready for a divorce). Men are creatures who (most of them) need to constantly improve their self-esteem. And assess a man in the first place how? That’s right – by his female companion. The man wants to be proud of his chosen one, and even to boast about it to his friends (colleagues, acquaintances). But here we are talking about a normal man. Not the one who makes his wife hide from everyone so she won’t be taken away.

Another man in the family may lack understanding. Yeah, it’s that corny. For example, the man has a midlife crisis or problems at work. He wants to be listened to and felt sorry for. But his wife refuses to understand – like, “why are you so fluffy? You have a family, it is necessary to take care of it, you’re thinking here to get depressed! And then the man has a choice – to seek solace in alcohol (yes, do you know how many men choose this method?), to ignore it and sour further without hope for support and understanding, or to find a man who will offer his chest to depress on it.

  • Nature calls. There is an opinion that there is a type of man who cannot be satisfied with one woman, no matter how beautiful she is. A very controversial question, of course. Because often such men become quite exemplary family men, but on condition that the “right” woman comes along. If the “wrong” woman comes along, then the man runs to several other women. For these people say that he was crazy crazy – and the house is all, and the wife is beautiful, but he still goes on the run.

Of course, there may be many other reasons. But the main ones are described above.

The behavior of the ideal mistress.

Women who become mistresses often mark to become wives afterwards. But not all and not always. Each of them has her own reasons – one likes the kind of relationship that doesn’t commit to anything. Another like to play the role of a bitch who takes the man out of the family. A third sleeps with a man to spite his wife. The fourth loves strongly and therefore is ready to be at least eternal mistress, if only by his side.

How does the mistress, who is considered to be ideal, behave and what does she do?

  • She does not try to tie a man to herself through gifts. She does not give gifts that might compromise him in front of his wife. Perfume, accessories, clothing – all these things cannot go unnoticed by the wife. Therefore, the ideal mistress will not give something like that. At most she will buy him a toothbrush for joint meetings. Or give him a set of beautiful lace lingerie on himself.
  • Does not interfere in his family relationships. A good mistress is one who will not ask questions about his wife. She will listen to complaints (if necessary), but she will not pry. She is well aware that the purpose of a man’s visit is not to talk about his relationship with his wife. He needs a psychologist for that purpose, not a mistress.
  • He will not put himself above his wife. As strange as it may sound, but for a man who has a mistress, his wife is still in first place. Despite their quarrels, misunderstandings, lack of sex and other problems. If he did not divorce, it means there are reasons. And to find them out a self-respecting mistress will not.
  • She won’t try to be his wife. Even if she’s madly in love. She is well aware that if she will do the same duties as a wife, she will become just a second wife, to which quickly faded interest. Making borscht and ironing shirts is the lot of the wife. He comes here for something else entirely.
  • He doesn’t try to get to know his entire social circle, much less his relatives. A good mistress knows very well that all these introductions to relatives (both from her and his side) and friends are a hint of some kind of commitment. These actions can only scare a man away. First, he will think that his mistress has some sights on him, and secondly, it is awkward to explain what you are to each other.
  • The mistress knows how to accept gifts. If she respects herself, she gives a man the opportunity to feel like a man. In everything. He pays in a restaurant, pays for a joint vacation. She hints that he should come to her not only with a wild desire to see her, but with something else. For example, a bouquet, or a bottle of her favorite wine. Of course, gifts increase in value over time. But she never demands them. She lets the man feel that his gifts are pleasing to her. And that’s why he likes to give them.
  • She uses her charm and wisdom. Mistresses often hunt for men themselves. But they do it in such a way that the man does not feel it. He considers himself a predator, a male. Although often the victim is himself. A wise girl does everything to make him feel the opposite.
  • Does not throw tantrums. The meeting broke up because of his fault? No, a self-respecting mistress will not shout into the tube, to write angry messages and be offended. She’ll pretend it’s nothing. Otherwise, she’ll just be alone. There is a good chance that he already has such a hysterical woman at home. Although, of course, the opposite happens – a man has a quiet wife at home, and he wants fire. He craves broken plates and raucous reconciliation in the bedroom (although the bedroom is not a prerequisite).

It is not uncommon for a man to choose a beautiful mistress who is the exact opposite of his wife. He is looking for something on the side that he lacks in the family relationship. But there is a major trait that is inherent in the vast majority of mistresses – she is confident in herself, knows her worth. Men do not turn on the side of a gray mouse.

Married mistress

A separate category of mistresses – married ladies. Each of them also has her own reasons for becoming a mistress, being legally married. How does a mistress behave so that she is not declassified:

  • Her put-out look suddenly changes to a mischievous light. Her mood suddenly improves, it is as if she is flying on the wings of happiness. Begins to carefully select her closet, takes care of herself more than before. She begins to put on brighter colors and watch her figure. Her closet is replenished with beautiful sets of new underwear. Her perfume changes. Of course, we are talking about those who previously did not differ. But if she wants to avoid being declassified, she will start to do all this gradually, so as not to cause a sharp suspicion.
  • Spends a lot of time away from home. For example, staying late at work, going on business trips, going to work on weekends. At home she says there is more work, the number of responsibilities has increased. Or she often goes to meetings, allegedly with friends. An attentive husband will immediately notice these changes.
  • He brings home gifts. Suddenly comes home with a bouquet, or a new necklace, a new dress, purse or something else. And every time she has a plausible story “got into a huge sale, a colleague urgently sold for next to nothing, then what she needs the money, inherited from a relative. Frankly, many gifts her husband may not notice. If the relationship in the family has long been hopelessly damaged, his spouse is not interested in the contents of the closet or cosmetic bag. He may not notice the next perfume (if his wife already has many bottles), a pair of shoes or a purse. Unless the gifts are every other day, of course.
  • Put a password on your phone. In general, a smart woman will not keep a love correspondence on her phone or in social networks. To communicate, she will think of a secret way. For example, the correspondence from the work computer. But there are also blunders, when a woman suddenly started spending a lot of time on her phone and you can see by her reaction that there is quite pleasant communication.

A common mistake of married mistresses is that they choose someone from their husband’s friends to be their lover. This is the silliest mistake. This kind of deception will be discovered in 95% of cases. Men love to gossip too, don’t doubt it. So if you have already decided to have a lover – let him be not from your husband’s circle of acquaintances. And preferably not from your circle of acquaintances. Let it be a mysterious stranger.

How does the mistress, who is well aware that the relationship needs anonymity? She behaves naturally, does not flirt openly with anyone, so as not to arouse suspicion. Keeps it cold with her partner, just like with the others. Especially if they work together. A good mistress is a wise mistress, she will not give away your secret relationship, because there is a special charm in it.

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