How to behave with your girlfriend?

How to behave properly with a girl: the secrets of female psychology

Behaving correctly with a girl is a whole art that lies not only in the actions of the guy, but also in his understanding of the subtleties of female psychology. It is important to be attentive and reliable, to cause trust, but at the same time not to lose the initiative and be able to make decisions and take responsibility for the two. A woman must feel confident around her chosen one – then she will be afraid to lose him and will want to act so that he will also be happy.

Behaving correctly with the girl is a whole art, which lies not only in the actions of the guy, but also in his understanding of the intricacies of female psychology. It is important to be attentive and reliable, to evoke trust, but at the same time not to lose the initiative and be able to make decisions and take responsibility for two. A woman should feel confident around her chosen one – then she will be afraid to lose him and will want to act so that he too will be happy.

What do women want?

To know how to behave correctly with the girl, you need to understand the intricacies of female psychology. All women are different, but all of them have certain desires and needs.

To get proper attention.

Without attention, any woman fades. You can manifest it in simple budgetary ways:

  • Taking an interest in her by asking her questions: what she thinks, what she worries about, what she dreams about, what she plans and what she is passionate about;
  • notice and praise her virtues: beauty, grooming and taste, housekeeping, sense of humor, ability to communicate, erudition;
  • To remember important dates and to celebrate them;
  • To spend time with her and in every way to show that it is pleasant for a man.

Speak up and trust.

If a woman can talk to a man about everything – from insults to girlfriends and ending with sexual fantasies – she is guaranteed to have affectionate feelings for him. To do this, you need to position her for yourself in these ways:

  • listening carefully;
  • remember everything that is important to her;
  • Keep the conversation going;
  • Give advice if she asks for it or if she obviously needs it;
  • Take her side if she complains about conflicts or misunderstandings with others;
  • Not judge or criticize what she likes or feels is right.

To feel beautiful

To feel beautiful, a woman needs to:

  • Take care of herself and devote time and resources to her appearance;
  • Receive positive and enthusiastic feedback about her appearance from the person she cares for and those around her.

This feeling allows her to be confident in herself. And the absence of complexes is what makes a girl able to genuinely love and build a fulfilling relationship.

To be desired always.

To feel desirable – a need no less important for women than to be confident in their beauty. A man should always show sexual interest in the girl and demonstrate his delight in her attractiveness.

To be the only one

Some psychologists argue that men are by nature polygamy. In contrast to them, women are monogamous and expect the same from their chosen ones.

Therefore, it is not recommended to spread about your popularity among other women or to talk with pride about your former relationships. It is strictly forbidden to compare the girl with someone else, if this comparison is not in her favor.

Be confident in your own importance.

Everything a girl does or says should have a backlash from the man she loves. This can be:

  • praise;
  • reciprocal actions and words;
  • gratitude;
  • words that it is important and necessary.

In addition, the girl should know for sure that her partner needs her and is interested in her.

To be protected.

Many women can fall in love with men who initially they had absolutely no interest, if the man turned out to be reliable. This quality manifests itself:

  • The ability and desire to protect the girl in conflict situations;
  • the ability to take care of her when she is in trouble;
  • the ability to support the girl.

What do you need to be like to please girls?

Common qualities of guys that almost all girls like:

  • well-groomed appearance;
  • positive attitude;
  • kindness;
  • generosity;
  • the ability to make decisions;
  • perspective;
  • poise;
  • the ability to listen and empathize.

Well-groomed appearance

To be attractive need not only girls, but also guys. Otherwise they will not like women. But you do not have to be the face from the cover of fashion magazines.

  • Keep yourself in good physical shape;
  • dress neatly;
  • Follow personal hygiene: make a haircut in time, keep your body and nails clean.

Positive mindset.

Girls do not like it when guys on dates complain about their failures, friends, people around them, speak badly about others and are pessimistic in general. In conversation, it’s important to:

  • smile;
  • perceive life’s difficulties with humor;
  • speak only good things about those around you;
  • not to blame others for their problems;
  • to plan boldly for the future and be sure that everything will work out.


The kindness of a guy is shown by his ability to empathize, the ability to forgive and help those around him. It can be shown in the following ways:

  • forgive the girl her minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not accentuate his offenses, but discuss the problem;
  • Smiling at small children who meet you during a date;
  • Help the elderly, even strangers: carry a bag, give directions;
  • offer to help an orphanage or a kennel of homeless animals together;
  • give way to women, the elderly, and children on public transport.

It is important that all of these actions be done from the heart, not out of a motive to show off. Deception and fakery will “resurface” with time, so being kind is a work on yourself, not a desire to impress the beloved.


It is a misconception that generosity is directly proportional to material status. But it lies in the ability to give the last for the dear one.

The ability to make decisions

Women love men who are able to make a decision, important or not so important, without hesitation. This speaks of their responsibility and strength of character. When a young man can decide something not only for himself, but also for his chosen one, she feels protected. You can manifest this skill in the following ways:

  • Finding out her tastes, take on the organization of a date in an unusual place – a girl will not be impressed by a guy asking how to spend the day, or advising on the choice of pizza in a restaurant;
  • Offer to go on a trip together – the more spontaneous, the more romantic and memorable it will be;
  • Quickly figure out how to proceed if plans are disrupted;
  • React instantly when she needs help;
  • set priorities and determine the place of her and her friends in life;
  • Offer to move to the next level of the relationship – make a proposal, find a place to live together;
  • Do not be afraid to change your place of residence and occupation, to start from scratch, if it is necessary in order to be together.

When making a decision, it is important to dominate and emphasize that it is a man’s choice that will make the two of them better off for many reasons. One should never act a certain way because “you said so.”


Continuous development is very important in a relationship. Learning, career advancement, and expanding one’s interests are the obligatory processes that make a man interesting and attractive. Perspectivity is defined by:

  • bold plans;
  • constant action towards their achievement;
  • A positive attitude.


Emotionality is more typical for women, especially when it comes to negative emotions that arise during conflict situations. Whatever the quarrel or problem, it is important to maintain self-control and fortitude – this will help to prevent negativity in the relationship and is guaranteed to cause respect. It is categorically forbidden:

  • Insult and turn to personalities;
  • Use physical violence;
  • “run away” from solving the problem.

If a man feels that he is about to snap, he should leave for a while, collect his thoughts, come back and calmly argue his position.

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Listening and Empathy

Everyone likes to talk and listen about themselves. But to be liked by others, you need to learn to listen to them and get into what they say. Given a girl’s need to talk, a guy shouldn’t interrupt her because he doesn’t think her problems are important. If she is anxious and puzzled, he needs to find words to encourage her and reassure her that everything will be okay.

A guy who possesses the qualities listed above will definitely interest a decent girl. But you must remember that the completely positive heroes are of little interest to anyone. The psychology of women is so arranged that they are drawn to the “bad” ones. Cheekiness, vulgar jokes, brutality and the ability to hooliganism are also attractive traits.

How to behave in a relationship?

Psychologists give advice on how to behave properly for a man in a relationship, so that a woman is afraid of losing him.

Always be yourself.

Not all features in a guy can like a girl. But if they are an integral part of his personality and were formed long before the meeting with the beloved, you can not eradicate them simply because they are inconvenient for her.

Immutable characteristics include:

  • features of communication with relatives and friends – they should not be forgotten if they are not to the liking of the girl;
  • Hobbies and hobbies – thanks to them, the man became interesting to the woman at the beginning of the relationship, if they bring pleasure and joy, they should be left behind;
  • professional activity – if the guy is interested in doing something and he clearly understands that he can succeed in it, then the negative statements of his beloved should not force him to change his occupation
  • Tastes – in music, movies, clothes, food, they can transform, but to change them dramatically for the convenience of beloved not worth it.

As soon as the guy begins to act to the detriment of his own interests and adjust to the girl because of her criticism and demands, he becomes a weak-minded person. Some things can change and transform as the relationship progresses, but you have to come to this on your own.

Being appropriately vulgar

No matter how much a girl portrays herself as chaste and “not so,” it is important for her to know that she is wanted and considered sexy. Examples of appropriate vulgarity:

  • In a formal setting, whisper in her ear “I want to get that dress off you soon.”
  • Write a compliment in a text message at an unexpected moment – with friends, when she’s in class, or when she’s very serious;
  • Experiment in sex as much as your imagination allows;
  • After some time after the start of the relationship to admit that the desire to have sex with her arose from the first seconds of acquaintance.

Do not demand, but to inspire

The long list of things that a girl “should” in order to justify the status of a lover and be considered a worthy party is very annoying and makes you doubt yourself. Instead, you should use the wording “I would be glad/happy”, “how I wish”, “remember how great you did…, I want more of that”.

Beyond that, it’s important to thank your friend for her efforts and encourage her desire to do something with praise, compliments, and gifts.

Be brash and assertive.

In one of the conversations you can tell her, “it was me who chose you and firmly decided that you will be mine.” Pressure can be shown by asking to visit, seeking a kiss or sex, making a date.

The position “I’ve decided so, and so will be” is appropriate if the guy is 100% sure of the reciprocity of his chosen one’s feelings.

Courtship, but not submission

The girl should clearly understand that all of the actions and nice gestures that a man makes for her and towards her are based on his warm feelings towards her and his personal desire to please her, but not on the desire to please. Accordingly, if love or sympathy passes, there will be no courtship. To keep them, you need to build a relationship together, mutually developing and striving to make your partner happy.

A man can try to woo and surprise on his own initiative, if a woman causes in him such a desire. But he does not have to follow her instructions and conform to her invented ideal.

Create confidence in the future

To be secure for a girl is:

  • To be sure that her beloved will not betray her or leave her in a difficult moment;
  • To have no doubt that if she needs to talk to her abuser “man to man” or fight, he will do it;
  • To know that she will be taken care of when she gets sick or loses her livelihood, and the one she chooses will not be a burden, he will not stoop to reproaches;
  • To be sure that even starting from scratch, this man will be able to provide their couple with a decent standard of living.

Demonstrate his sense of humor.

Joking and having fun together is an important part of any happy relationship. These can be ironic or sarcastic jokes, innocent and vulgar, but they should elicit genuine laughter.

Have your “manly” secrets.

When a problem arises and a guy knows exactly that he can solve it, it’s handy for him to say, “Forget about it, I’ll solve it, and how is none of your business, just relax and do what you want to do.” Young people who mention difficulties at work or in other spheres in passing, but at the same time avoid all the details related to their elimination and consequences, inspire respect.

To build a strong relationship, you need to behave sincerely with the girl – do not portray nonexistent emotions, do not hide the fact of another woman’s existence, honestly talk about your financial situation and occupation. Of great importance is the strength of character – the chosen one should not dominate, and the young man should not lose his dignity.

How to behave with your girlfriend

Contributor(s): Jessica January Behr, PsyD. Dr. Jessica January Behr is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and director of the Behr Psychology practice. She specializes in couples therapy and sex therapy. She also works with people suffering from anxiety, stress, relationship problems and depression. She received her BA in Psychology from Hunter College and her MA in Education with a concentration in School Psychology and PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.

Number of sources used in this article: 17. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.

Number of views of this article: 74 299.

Any guy can get a girl, but not any guy will treat her like a real man. Respect, honesty, a little playfulness and flirtation are all rules of the game that you need to know in order to behave with a girl the way she deserves. Read our tips and learn how to treat your girlfriend right!

  • It’s also worth keeping in mind that in the long run, telling the truth is much easier than lying. Keeping a complex system of small deceptions and innuendo in your head all the time is a huge stress to yourself. One wrong word and it all goes down the drain. It is worth heeding the famous quote of Mark Twain: “If you tell the truth, you do not have to remember anything unnecessary.

  • However, some kinds of disagreements should be taken seriously – namely, those concerning your relationship. For example, if you’re expecting a strong long-term relationship where you’re the only ones with each other, and your girlfriend isn’t looking for stability, you should discuss it seriously, or you won’t know where to move forward. Also, think about how you react to her actions and whether you can put up with them. For example, she stopped by to visit her boyfriend after midnight: would you be jealous?

  • It may seem cynical to you that we suggest that you specifically choose a few facts about a girl that you will remember and be able to repeat. Try to look at it this way, think of it as “I’m making an effort to show how valuable this person and her thoughts are to me,” rather than “I’m striving to earn more points in her eyes.”

Be attentive to her. [4] X Source of Information Partners in a romantic relationship should not fight for each other’s attention. Show that you respect your girlfriend by giving her attention (with few exceptions) when you are together. For example, don’t allow yourself to be distracted by the TV behind her in a restaurant, a video game you’re into when your girlfriend comes to your house, or, worse, another woman. In general, when spending time with your girlfriend, spend it really together.

  • It is important to respect your girlfriend’s independence by taking her desires in this area seriously. Don’t insist on opening a car door for her, pulling over a chair for her and so on if she doesn’t like it or feels uncomfortable. This can develop into a huge embarrassment in the long run. A true gentleman knows that actual respect is far more important than outdated displays of etiquette. [5] X Source of Information

  • Imagine the reverse situation: would you be pleased if a girl kissed you when you don’t feel like it at all? Of course not. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes to see how seemingly insignificant things can affect your relationship.

  • Paradoxically, not being afraid also means being able to talk about your inner fears without fear. You can (and should) sometimes talk to your girlfriend about what’s bothering you deep down, like your performance at school, difficulties at work, problems in your relationship with your parents, and so on.

Be proactive. Like the vast majority of people, girls don’t usually ask to be treated well – they want you to do it yourself, without reminders. [8] X Source of Information If your girlfriend constantly has to ask you for things she would want in your relationship – like you to hold her hand, listen when she talks, remember her birthday, and so on – those special things will stop being special and will not bring the joy that they would if you did them without extra prompting. She may even feel lonely and neglected. So be proactive and try to treat the girl with proper respect at all times so that she doesn’t have to ask you for it. [9] X Source of Information

  • Get in touch first, rather than just answering her calls or texts. By taking the initiative to make that difficult first call, you’re letting her know that you want to communicate with the girl just as much as she wants to communicate with you.

  • On the other hand, a good girlfriend will never knowingly ask you for something that is bad for your financial situation. Although mythical “gold diggers” are much rarer in real life than popular culture claims, still beware of women who demand expensive gifts from you.

Do nice things to a girl just for fun. Any normal guy shows his love and concern on a girl’s birthday, holidays, dating anniversaries, and so on. An exceptional guy will give her signs of attention on ordinary days as well. Give your girlfriend surprises. [12] X Source of information Without any festive occasion, just because you treasure her. You don’t have to book a table at an expensive fancy restaurant – a simple love note, a rose (or her favorite flowers), a gentle text message and other such things will show that you think and care about her.

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