How to behave with a married man married woman?

Psychology and characteristics of the relationship of a married man and a married woman

Love does not depend on the stamp in the passport. Therefore, choosing a partner, a person is rarely interested in the marital status of the chosen one. Sometimes the ties of marriage bind one of the lovers, but it happens that both partners have already managed to have a family. What makes people cheat? What are the characteristics of the relationship between a married man and a married woman? Can they be happy? Let’s try to answer some crucial questions.


Why is dating with a married partner attractive to both a married woman and a married man? There are benefits that suit either sex:

  1. There is no obligation to a partner. Consequently, there is no room for resentment, guilt and remorse.
  2. The possibility of pleasant communication. The liberation of sexual relations.
  3. A break from everyday problems, family obligations, and troubles. No one will reproach for the unbrought garbage, unpaid bills or a leaking faucet in the bathroom.
  4. A positive atmosphere, a romantic setting, and pleasant feelings.
  5. Gain experience, including sexual, which may be useful in future relationships or in the family.

But the reasons that push into the arms of married or married lovers in men and women are different.

What drives a man

Representatives of the stronger sex to sex outside the marital bed treat easier. And the relationship between a married man and a married woman is considered comfortable, reliable and safe, as the partners are in equal conditions of the marital union:

  • if the mistress is a married lady, excessive conspiracy and secret meetings will not seem offensive and humiliating;
  • An experienced woman will surround you with care, attention and comfort, without requiring a reciprocal response from your chosen one;
  • Alien wife will not read precepts, pry into the soul, to demand promises and vows of loyalty.

As a rule, sexual relations without spiritual closeness are not considered by men as treason. Therefore, a partner who is married is an ideal mistress.

What provokes a woman

For the beautiful half of humanity, the family has a great value. Therefore, to decide to cheat, a woman needs a good reason or an irresistible attraction. Women love married men and risk family well-being if:

  • They feel that their love for their spouse has passed. The resulting emptiness is replaced by unexplored and new sensations;
  • Not enough affection, attention from their spouse. No matter what the cause of this behavior of the husband. Perhaps, instead of a passionate infatuation came peace and quiet, and her husband stopped being a fervent lover, not considering the wishes of his wife. Maybe restraint is a character trait. In any case, if the woman feels deprived and unnecessary, looking for satisfaction of needs away from the family hearth;
  • The husband prefers the company of buddies. Insulted spouse suffers from an inferiority complex, if the beloved man constantly leaves home. Fishing, the gym, and the company of friends are more important than communicating with the spouse;
  • feelings of revenge. Intercourse with a married man may be a reaction to her husband’s infidelity. Lowered self-esteem and wounded self-esteem push a member of the weaker sex to rash actions. This helps to avoid depression, gain confidence, and often save the marriage;
  • Craving for romance. As time goes by, marital relations lose their emotionality and brightness, and become habitual and commonplace. But dreams remain. If the spouse is unable to reanimate the relationship, the woman looks for vivid impressions and thrills outside the home;
  • Sexual dissatisfaction. A married lover often becomes a necessity. This happens when the spouse in bed ceases to consider the woman’s desire and is limited to the performance of marital duties. The dissatisfaction makes one decide to cheat.

The relationship between a married man and a married woman sometimes becomes the only way to keep the family together.

What benefits does a man see

A man who is married, deciding to cheat, stops at the choice of a married woman. What are the reasons for such a decision?

Calmer and more reliable.

If a man does not plan to part with his wife, a married mistress is an ideal opportunity to relax, improve self-esteem, distract from everyday problems and troubles. The mistress will not demand a divorce and will keep the relationship a secret. This is a mutually beneficial tacit agreement between the two non-free partners.


Being late or postponing a date, forgetting to congratulate on a holiday, the man does not feel guilty. The partner will enter into the situation, will not be offended, will not throw a tantrum. Unlike the free girl, who does not understand the behavior of the lover.

More Advantageous

A married partner is much cheaper than an unmarried lover. Expensive gifts are cancelled, because a new car will cause bewilderment to the spouse. A trip to a warm country is postponed indefinitely because the partner is used to resting in the company of her husband. The relationship between a married man and a married woman should be kept secret, so there is no need to spend money on expensive restaurants, nightclubs, and social parties. The feelings of the partner do not depend on the material investment of the lover.

Safer .

Such a relationship preserves health. After all, a married woman will not often change partners, and, therefore, does not risk contracting an unpleasant disease. The physical health of the partner maintains mental balance.

What advantages a woman sees

Women love married men and give them preference when choosing a lover. Representatives of the weaker sex are not afraid of rare meetings and conspiracy. They are ready to share a partner with their spouse and do not pretend to expensive gifts, because they themselves are bound by marital obligations.

A married lady perfectly understands the positive aspects of such a relationship. She is attracted to the following qualities:

Doesn’t get jealous.

Does not have the right to such luxuries. Jealousy scenes are the lot of the legitimate spouse. Irritation, annoyance and bruised self-esteem lover must hide from outsiders. He will not hurt his partner with silly suspicions, because he risks losing a comfortable haven. Fear of publicity and gossip that could destroy the family of his chosen one. The single suitor has little concern about the family well-being of his partner.

Restrained in desires.

A single man who is not concerned about family problems will insist on regular long meetings and dates. Unspent energy, lots of free time create problems in the relationship. After all, a woman spends most of her time on family and communication with her husband. With a married partner it is much easier to plan communication. Rare short meetings suit both lovers, do not become a habit and remain a holiday of soul and body.


Married lover will not risk a woman’s reputation by appearing at work with a fancy bouquet of roses. Will not annoy with messages and calls. Only single partners are capable of such unpredictable madness. Married man observes the unspoken terms of a secret relationship, because he is afraid of problems and trouble.

The psychology of a married man’s relationship with a married woman implies a breakup without scandal. Therefore, the connection with a married man is comfortable, safe and unburdening.

What’s next.

More often than not, an affair between unmarried partners is an affair without continuation. The relationship gradually moves toward finality and ends in a consensual breakup.

At first, lovers are driven by passion and a desire to experience unexplored sensations. As you know, “forbidden fruit is sweet.

Then the aura of romance gives way to habit. Mystery disappears, but the problems and fear of disclosure remain.

A person, experiencing constant stress, strives for peace, comfort and coziness. He looks at his legal half with different eyes and understands the simple truth: “It is good where we are not.

According to statistics, no more than ten percent of married couples disintegrate from – because of cheating spouses with a married partner. New relationships help to appreciate the old and return to the old established life.

If a real strong feeling flares up between lovers that does not fade over the years, the secret connection will grow into a deep, legitimate relationship.

Women love married men, but suffer from such a relationship more:

  1. The initiator of the breakup is more often the married man.
  2. A married lady who decides to cheat is torn between two fires. Gives love to her partner, trying not to deprive his spouse of attention. Wasting mental strength, nerves, and health.
  3. Married man, communicating with his mistress, he is resting from his problems, he is enjoying himself, he is becoming stronger.

Not because of, but despite.

Married partners are attracted to each other, despite all the disadvantages of such relationships. Why create problems, waste energy and emotions, build castles on the sand? What force pushes lovers towards each other? There are several explanations for the illogical behavior:

  1. An irresistible physical attraction to a member of the opposite sex.
  2. Escape from reality. If the situation in the family heats up to the limit, but the decision to divorce is not ripe, a man or woman is trying to forget in the arms of another person.
  3. Craving for Happiness. The soul, tired of the routine of domestic cares and scandals, asks for easy companionship that doesn’t commit to anything.
  4. Chasing a dream. Having discerned the flaws and weaknesses of a spouse, the person seeks an ideal partner, mistakenly taking an imaginary image for the original.
  5. Exaggerated self-esteem. A feeling of own superiority and irresistibility requires constant confirmation. It is easy to seduce a single man, unmarried woman. Winning the favor of a man who is legally married is much more difficult, but more interesting.

The psychological relationship between a married man and a married woman is complex and unpredictable. Deciding to cheat, it is necessary to analyze the reasons, to weigh the expected problems, to imagine the achieved result. If the driving force is not love, but boredom, frustration, hurt self-love, it is worth thinking before you create problems for yourself and others.

Only a real strong love can justify any ill-considered actions and vain sacrifices.

The psychology of relationships outside of marriage for married men and married women

Having a lover or mistress in married people is not uncommon. But relationships in which both lovers are married are not common. The psychology of a married woman’s relationship with a married man involves many aspects. They come with additional difficulties, but they give lovers the necessary poignancy of sensations unavailable in their legal marriage.

An affair between married people outside of marriage

Relationships between spouses undergo changes with each new year of life together: from a phase of acute infatuation to a mature, conscious love. Not every marriage can go through phases of the relationship, bringing pleasure and personal fulfillment to the spouses.

Often after a few years, the husband and wife begin to doubt the right choice of life partner. For some, dissatisfaction with the family remains unspoken, while others solve the problem in a different way: having an affair on the side.

An affair between a married man and a married woman is an attempt by people to take advantage of a second chance. By meeting with a person who is in an equal position, lovers easily understand the problems and needs of the chosen one. Such meetings renew feelings, inspire, allow you to reassess your views on family and marriage.

Reasons for infidelity with a non-free partner

Since both lovers are burdened by a formal marriage, they are in the same position. In making the decision to begin a relationship, they are guided by:

  1. Confidence in their partner. Married lovers and lovers understand each other’s desires and needs much more quickly than unencumbered people. They can become not only romantic partners for loved ones, but also friends and allies.
  2. The desire to try new things. Cheating with an unmarried lover is an atypical affair, causing a strong emotional shake-up. The desire to experience anew the surge of positive emotions associated with new experiences attracts lovers, encouraging them to continue the relationship to experience previously unfamiliar sensations. Also the forbidden connection causes a surge of adrenaline, the feeling of danger is intoxicating and beckoning.
  3. Additional guarantee. Having lovers with formal spouses complicates the development of the relationship, but ensures that lovers have an extra anchor to keep them from committing radical acts that can damage their reputations.

The relationship that develops between unmarried people solves two problems simultaneously: it provides a positive emotional charge and gets rid of the obligations that accompany other types of love affairs.

The benefits of a secret relationship

A secret relationship gives lovers the positive experiences they don’t get in the family:

  1. Extension of the romantic period. Spouses rarely maintain a romantic phase after marriage. In a lovers’ relationship, it is not a phase, but the only option for spending time together.
  2. The element of danger. The need to hide adds spice to an affair, makes it more valuable. Forced to hide, lovers experience an additional adrenaline rush, as a result the feeling of satisfaction increases, affection increases.
  3. An opportunity to reconsider the relationship to the family. If the couple’s life together has come to a standstill, a shake in the form of infidelity will allow them to understand whether they really need this marriage.

Love between a married man and a married woman is an opportunity to temporarily forget about the problems in the family and give themselves to the romantic feeling. Therefore, in the situation of a failed marriage, such a connection becomes the only chance to experience true love.

Additional possibilities

The result of an affair of lovers burdened by the family can be a revision of the opinion of the marriage. If there are constant scandals in the family, relations have become tense, romance has left them – adultery can become a kind of reset.

Often, when adultery helps to solve the problem arising in the family. In this case, communication on the side is temporary and non-serious nature.

Lovers receive from each other:

  • An opportunity to take a break from marital duties;
  • emotional support;
  • Gone romance.

The charge of positive emotions received from the lover, helps to get rid of the tension that accumulates within the family. Thus, adultery, which ended with the separation of lovers, can help to preserve family relationships.

Why do women like other people’s husbands?

The reason for adultery on the part of a woman is the unmet need for emotional connection. The need to do household chores, raise children, and often work, takes away a lot of a woman’s energy and time. Various pleasures become unavailable, a woman feels left out of life. Especially if the husband behaves coldly, aloof, does not offer to help. Comparing her married life with the families of other women, the dissatisfied spouse decides that she may have better luck with another man’s successful husband.

By dating another man, the woman gets the moral and sexual satisfaction she needs. With another man’s husband, you can just have fun without thinking about the household, child-rearing, and other things that mar the romantic relationship. Having a lover with a legitimate spouse makes the connection spicy. The woman feels victorious, having taken from his wife a part of the man’s attention and having achieved his reciprocity.

The dangers of double adultery

Double adultery increases the risk of disclosure. Lovers who dream to keep the affair a secret, forced to hide, to meet in remote places, afraid to meet people you know. This accompanies the meetings with additional stress.

If one of the cheating spouses finds out about the affair, it will be much harder to keep the secret from the other family. Lovers may look at the casual affair differently: for one family is not important, the other perceives the infidelity as a temporary affair and values the relationship with the official spouse. A married woman, even in terms of modern liberal views, risks more reputational damage than a man. She will be subject to condemnation for double adultery: cheating on her own husband and hitching a ride to steal someone else’s.

Relationship Options

A relationship that began with a light flirtation between married people can develop in three directions:

  1. A short tumultuous affair. This relationship is preferred by spouses who are experiencing conflict in a formal marriage. They do not seek a divorce, they just want to relieve emotional tension, refresh the relationship.
  2. An extended romance with infrequent meetings. An option suitable for middle-aged spouses who want a new relationship, but for some reason do not want to divorce.
  3. An affair that turns into a full-fledged relationship. This kind of relationship can develop in people who have completely grown cold to their legal mates. Lovers easily decide to divorce and almost do not hide the relationship from the beginning. As a rule, these are young people under the age of 35, disappointed by an early first marriage. Not always the departure to other people ends successfully, so it is worth thinking whether it is necessary to destroy the family.

Many external factors influence the development of the relationship: the social status of the spouses, financial solvency, family opinion.

How to keep the relationship a secret from the official spouses?

Double adultery is difficult to hide, so lovers should be extra careful:

  1. Think of an excuse to meet in advance. In case of a sudden encounter with acquaintances, a convincing explanation should be prepared that will not raise suspicion.
  2. Avoid gifts, visible “traces” of a relationship. An attentive person will notice not only kiss marks and the smell of other people’s perfume, but also less obvious signs. Gifts received without reason will be difficult to hide, so it is better to do without this part of the relationship. If the budget in the family is common, it will not be difficult to determine what the money was allocated, and what appeared suddenly and without loss of the common purse. It is better to discuss the topic of gifts at once.
  3. Plan your leisure time carefully. Spouses are bound to suspect something if lovers choose to meet at a time that was usually spent in the family circle.Communication with relatives, friends is also reduced, which will inevitably affect the relationship with them.
  4. Strikes preventively. Sometimes you should specifically organize family leisure time before the official spouses become suspicious.
  5. Avoid discussions. Even with close friends, it’s best not to share details of the relationship. They can accidentally become the cause of disclosure of the secret, unwittingly let it slip in the presence of the spouses.

It should be understood that for a long time it will be difficult to hide the relationship. Sooner or later you will have to choose the path of development of the novel: to continue to meet occasionally, fearing exposure, or to decide to talk frankly with their spouses.

Opinion of psychologists

At the heart of the psychological approach to the relationship of married lovers is the notion of the married couple as a special social group. The behavior of spouses who have decided to cheat with a non-free partner, psychologists explain the need to realize the motive of competition. Someone else’s partner seems to be a more favorable option for the relationship: if he or she has already been chosen to start a family, it probably has more advantages. Sometimes such relationships lead to divorce and an attempt to build an already formal relationship, but this is not always a good idea. After getting the opportunity to meet openly, the couple begins to behave differently and the illusions crumble, which encourages the partners to return to their past lives: to wives and husbands.

An affair with another man’s spouse allows a woman to take a break from married life while maintaining her status as a married lady. A married man, with a married mistress, realizes the hunter’s instinct. By conquering a new woman, he gets rid of the need to think about starting a family with his mistress – because she herself is married.

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