How to behave with a bitch at work?

How to behave properly with the bitchy colleagues

In any office, the colleague-bitch does not differ in appearance from other quite decent employees of the female sex. She is well dressed, smiling, pretty, friendly and even helpful. But for all that, she has one quality that makes her completely unbearable: with maniacal persistence, she repeatedly strives to stab you in the back.

This unfortunate fact has serious consequences, and first of all, it has a catastrophic effect on our nervous system. Get rid of the bitch is impossible, so we are forced to coexist with her, which is really exhausting. Bitches with us are not ceremonious.

They can be found at all levels of the hierarchy and can occupy any position – from a cleaning lady to the CEO. Their only goal is to make our lives miserable by spreading poisonous vapors around us.

This raises a number of questions for us. Are we willing to tolerate everything from her? To what extent can we ignore the damage to our self-esteem before slamming the door in her face? Until when do we remain silent or fight her with our own strength, refusing to give up the idea of filing a formal complaint? A little test will surely help us make up our minds on all counts.

So, let’s assume that in your professional life has come a long-awaited and happy moment: working on the balance sheet of native company, you have created a new version of the program, and for you it is not just a prosaic opportunity to improve accounting, but a direct and open road to glory, albeit within a single institution. You worked for three long months and surpassed yourself, two weeks ahead of schedule.

Finally everyone will understand what an exceptional businesswoman slumbered in you up to this point, finally appreciate it! All night you dream about laurel wreaths, which will crown you with fate.

In the morning, however… Oh, the horror! The floppy disk that you left on the shelf the day before, in front of everyone, the one that contained the results of all your research over the past weeks, has disappeared without a trace! And you know for a fact that the only person in the office who has keys to your room besides yourself is your immediate superior.

Let’s call her Christine. You have been wary of this very Christine ever since she loudly remarked to a large audience in the cafeteria one day, after examining you from head to toe, that “some people have a habit of coming to work dressed up like a Christmas tree.

Obviously, she was the one who tracked you down, outsmarted you, fooled you-in short, you were caught, and now she, not you, will reap the fruits of your labors. And to top it all off, there’s a note attached to your computer screen: “Meet me at the principal’s office as soon as you do show up for work – I understand you’re late. Christine.”

As you enter the elevator, you try to breathe deeply, as you were taught in yoga classes, and consider how to get out of this situation. As soon as you cross the threshold of the director’s office, you immediately feel that it will not be so easy.

Christine, dressed today in an elegant suit, the skirt of which she might as well use as a bikini on the beach on a hot summer day, is already waiting for you in the company of this old lecher, who is the master of human destiny in your glorious enterprise.

She smiles dazzlingly, showing all the sharp teeth available, while sizzling you with a look that means literally the following: “Make any noise and I will gut your cat or any other creature dear to your heart alive.”

Below we present three scenarios. Try them on for yourself. Depending on which of them and at what stage you will lose your temper before the complete loss of self-control, you can determine the size of your self-esteem and level of fitness for existence in the workplace of an average office.

Level one Your boss continues to take you for what you have always been to him, that is, he considers you a temporary useless object, of which there have been dozens, and therefore he does not even give himself the trouble to remember your name. “Listen, child,” he purrs, hugging your shoulders in a fatherly way, “Christine tells me that you have been of some assistance to her in her work, which seems very important to me. Your efforts are commendable, and I’m extending your contract for two more months.”

Level Two Same scenario, but this time the chief’s field of vision seems to have expanded so much that you manage to get into it. He even almost recognizes you. “Oh, it’s you,” he says through gritted teeth as you enter the office. – I can’t say I’m pleased with you.”

Christine, silently enjoying what’s happening, doesn’t look up, afraid to meet your gaze. “Christine has been busy all this time with a very important project that she has just successfully completed. Don’t try to lie, I know for a fact that you intended to sell her idea to our competitors.

Don’t ask me about the source of the information, I won’t reveal it to you, but I’m absolutely certain of its reliability.” He casts an understanding glance in the villain’s direction.

The snake finally blinks and displays on her sordid face exactly the expression a mother would have when she has just learned that her adored only son has turned out to be a member of a non-traditional sexual orientation. As for the chief, he ends his speech with this passage: “I hope you understand that we cannot allow you to remain within these walls any longer. Go to the accounting department for your paycheck.

Level three Having waited for you to appear, Christine disappears, leaving you to be torn apart by the patron. He, normally so phlegmatic and calm, just turned white with rage. His forehead was tinged with veins of purple. His eyes were nearly popping into his forehead – round, like billiard balls.

As soon as he sees you, he clutches the glass of mineral water he is holding with such force that the glass bursts in his hands. He tries to say something, but his rage literally suffocates him.

It is only after slurping half a bottle of soda straight from his neck that he manages to shout out the words stuck in his throat: “How. What do you mean. How dare you! Christine, a person to whom I have absolute trust, informed me that you maliciously punctured all four tires of her car!

All because of pathological jealousy. I’m not going to cover that kind of thing. I’ve called the police; they’ll be here in a few minutes. You can be sure that I’ll try to wean you off that sort of thing.

The results are already broken off at the first level. You have to accept the fact that no matter who you are or where you work, there is always a chance of ending up in the jungle, where you have to fight for survival. Having an ego is good, but only within reasonable limits. With your character, it won’t be easy to push yourself to those limits.

Self-control has left you at the second level. Your ego is balanced by your own wisdom. If you still managed not to catch the offender in the hair and not claw her eyes, consider that you are well cope with the situation.

You made it to the third level. In your mind self-love is a concept as abstract as pity for the banker. You’re willing to swallow almost anything with indifference, bordering on stupidity. Be careful: going to jail, you risk incriminating yourself by taking responsibility for the murder committed by your cellmate.

Bitches at work are not uncommon. But you can’t always recognize them right away. Try showing up to work in your best outfit with fancy hair and expensive jewelry. Bitch is recognized when she gives you a compliment.

The best way to protect against a bitch – the patronage of the boss. You don’t have to “bitch”, just study the schedule of his visits to your office and be ready at all times.

Taming of the hysterical.

This category usually includes girls who swing from plus to minus like on a winged swing. Now she loves, in five minutes she despises, recently she was happy, now she is dissatisfied, without any reason, then she laughs, then she sobs, and all this falls down on the head of her unhappy beau.

This is because of the constant swings back and forth in her self-esteem and locus. Here’s the self-esteem soared high, and you didn’t admire it, and she’s ready to kill you, or vice versa, she fell into a pit, and you didn’t feel sorry for her, not noticing the change, and she’s sobbing from your cruelty.

The locus swung one way and she knows better than you, swung the other and she wants to climb into your arms. And if you don’t keep track of all these rotations, you will constantly be doing and saying all the wrong things. And you’re going to get screwed accordingly. You can consider her manipulative, but she sobs sincerely and gets angry too.

If she is nothing special, no one will want to bother with her. But if she is suddenly beautiful, intelligent and talented, woe to men. Falling in love with her is easy, it’s hard to leave her, and it takes a hell of a lot of patience to withstand the emotional merry-go-rounds.

It is hard to leave her because when a girl like that swings in the negative, she is beautiful and gentle, but when she swings in the positive, she is a monster of hell. It seems that killing her is easier than breaking up with her.

How do you tame these kinds of girls?

1. The main thing is to observe the golden rule of relationships. Positive reinforcement of the good, the distance – in response to the bad.

It is with hysterical men begin to break this rule, even if in the past generally respected. In response to regular insults instead of distance (said goodbye and went, got off the network, gave the answer on the phone) men start to either bull, or lecture, or do not pay attention. So let him yell, and I’m a man and above it, so I’ll sit and listen. Like a sheep.

Or vice versa: you can not listen to this, you have to gag her or shout her down, like in a bazaar. If you are higher than that and you cannot listen to such things, turn around and go away. A few times you will leave, the scale of the attacks will sharply decrease or even go to zero. In all other cases it will increase.

In the case of bazaar swearing, you will be left guilty (to say nothing of trying to gag her physically). If you let it pass you by, this treatment will become habitual, reinforce itself, and begin to be used even during relatively peaceful periods. You won’t even notice how you find yourself under the skirting board. With the beautiful hysterical women are not to be trifled with.

So only distance. Get up and go. If she immediately apologized, caught up with you, or wrote, repented, you can go back. If not, call the next day yourself, ask if everything is all right. If she’s still offended, tell her you’re sorry she got so angry, but you can’t yell at you and you can’t call you that either. When you leave, leave money for a cab or pay the bill. Do not offer to take her home or walk her home, she is not five years old. You want to distance yourself very quickly, so as not to listen further and not to streamline. And don’t push back, of course. Never.

This is the only beautiful male behavior (and not just male, but male especially). There is no other.

You yourself must be correct. You must not give an excuse. Stay within boundaries. Although the rule applies even if you give a reason. Still, when you hear hurtful words in your own direction, you should leave. It’s too late to explain your behavior.

No bitch in the world starts right away with a trash talk in a relationship. First she lets herself just yell at you. Or call you names as if in jest. If the antics aren’t insulting enough to get away with, ask her not to talk to you in that tone. Briefly and without threats in her voice or tirades about human rights. If she is defiantly repeating or even escalating, it means she wants a scandal. You have to get up and leave. Let her scandalize her girlfriends and her mother.

What happens at this point in her soul? She starts to hate you, then she becomes very offended, then she turns into a little girl who needs your support. You are the abuser, you are also the comforter, yes.

It happens to everyone who doesn’t know how to control her emotions and allows herself to lose her temper. She can’t handle herself and you have shown self-control, so she will want to lean on you and give you control. It’s simple. Eight out of ten times she will write to you. Sometimes first with a grudge, then with a request for comfort. That’s the last one you can respond to.

But if you try to continue the showdown, again, distance yourself. Never lecture her, and do not express any of your grievances. In general, do not engage in psychological exhibitionism with your girlfriend. With your wife sometimes you can, but not often.

If she writes “I’m sorry” after what happened, answer “okay,” if she writes “I love you,” answer “me too. Don’t run to whistle immediately, if she texts an hour later, tell her you’re already going to bed and we can meet tomorrow. But if she wrote right away and apologized normally, you can go back. That is, all good deeds must be backed up, and preferably quickly. But if it’s “sorry, of course, but you’re also a moron,” you don’t have to answer anything. Is the principle roughly understood?

2. The main thing is to stay within boundaries.

Rule 1 applies to attacks on you, and an attack is easier to prevent than to quell.

There are a few taboos that men better remember, to communicate not only with hysterical women, but also with normal women.

1) a woman’s appearance (you can dress and makeup sometimes, for hiding her virtues),

2) her parents and children,

3) it is better not to criticize anything at all, you are not a teacher.

You can’t get into a pose as a psychologist, much less a sexologist, God forbid, even if you are them by profession, much less if you are not. You can’t argue with her in the sphere of her competence, it’s a bad tone. Arguing in general is bad tone. Agree or listen in silence.

In general, silence is not a sign of agreement, it’s a division of boundaries. If you are silent, it doesn’t mean “I agree,” it means “I don’t want to say anything about it.” Only people with a childish fusion of boundaries rush to argue about anything they disagree with, because they continually strive for unanimity.

People with good boundaries disagree silently and only debate on demand and little else. Neither do they give a toss. Agree if you don’t just agree, but want to emphasize it. In other cases, just be an attentive listener, don’t nod and don’t argue.

Voice your opinion as a given. This is your opinion, and her disagreement will not change it. In the process of your life it may. You don’t try to influence her opinion with your words or deeds either – maybe.

That’s how you show a lot more self-respect and respect.

Respectful behavior prevents tantrums. That is, even the worst tantrums become calm if you communicate within boundaries, watch your words and emotions, and distance yourself when they try to attack you.

See, you may be very tempted to kick her in response to the attack. Make a cruel joke, put her down subtly. Once in a while you can afford it, but more often than not it leads to a woman accumulating resentments and lashing out at you at the most inopportune moment. For example, when you are walking down a dark street and she limps, that is, you can not leave her and walk away, you have to take her in your arms by all the rules, and then she tells you that you – dummy, that with a normal man would not twist his leg! What do you say to that? Nothing. Silently take her home and leave. Here you are bound and cannot leave at once, it is against you.

Such antics women allow, when even earlier they harbor a grudge against you. If you are courteous and polite, women do not get angry. And if suddenly they get angry, they are filled with tears of remorse and fall in love with you more. They begin to consider you an angel. So, with powerful wings and a beautiful, strong torso, a bright forehead.

That’s what men need to know about women. If someone puts you down, humiliates you somehow, shows you’re a jerk, what do you do? Punch you in the face, for example, right? If you are not a savage, you do not hit, but you start to study the weaknesses of the offender, to respond to him symmetrically. Sometimes you can also score, but that’s if he disappears from the horizon rather than looming in front of you. Shocking news! Women are just the same way.

They look weak and soft, but they too are ambitious and also resentful. They don’t like being put down. They have different methods of revenge, but they too are angry when offended. If they haven’t yet recognized you as a god who can do anything, or if they did yesterday, and then today they look closer and see if he’s not a god, they try to kick you in the ass in retaliation. Unknowingly, sometimes unconsciously, automatically, but it happens to them too.

So do not humiliate women. If you want to dominate, all the more don’t humiliate them ever. If you have good boundaries, you will dominate anyway. In a couple the one who has better boundaries always dominates, it’s the law. And also the one whose subjective importance is higher, but it’s about the same thing. The subjective significance always becomes higher with the one who has better boundaries.

That is, there are simple rules: don’t hurt or put down a woman, keep within boundaries, watch your words and emotions, don’t insult yourself by distancing yourself, respond to sincere remorse and good deeds with positive reinforcement, make fewer promises, and keep your promises.

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