How to behave with a guy at the beginning of a relationship?
The most vivid and romantic relationships are at the beginning. Passion, intrigue, new experiences – a whole whirlwind of feelings. But at this stage the connection between partners is shaky, not yet fixed mutual fitting in. Therefore, many novels end, barely had time to start. No girl can insure herself against such a result.
But, observing some recommendations, she will certainly be able to translate the candy-boquet period into a long-term relationship
What should be done at the beginning of the relationship to strengthen it?
When dating, people try to show their best side. This is not hypocrisy, but a simple and logical decision. By starting an affair, a man and a woman are drawn to positive emotions. The more enjoyable the start of the relationship, the greater the likelihood of their successful continuation.
The girl in the first stages need to include an optimist – often smile, be in a good mood, if possible to share sincere positivity with your partner.
During communication, do not forget to watch the facial expressions, gestures. A frowning expression and closed postures – repulsive factors that can override even a strong liking. The man will think that he is unpleasant to you, and will leave so as not to impose himself. To achieve the opposite effect, smile, look your interlocutor in the eye, and try to show that the conversation is pleasant to you.
The right behavior at the beginning of a relationship
A practical guide from a children’s tale
Let’s remember Shakherezada – a smart and beautiful girl who took on a dangerous mission. One king, bitter about his wife’s infidelity, hated all women. Every night he spent with a new concubine, and in the morning he ordered her execution. Shaherezade volunteered to go to the king’s chambers, hoping to put an end to the cruel tradition. A talented storyteller, she captured the man’s attention with a riveting story.
By morning she came to the end, promising to tell it the next night. The king wanted to hear the sequel, so he moved the execution to the next day. But after the first story, a second, no less interesting one began. It, too, broke off in the morning at the most intriguing point.
The oriental beauty had been “dangling” her listener for a thousand nights. And when the stock of fairy tales dried up, the king was head over heels in love with her and no thought of execution.
Scheherazade is a fictional character. However, her wisdom applies well in real life. A girl should be interesting not only in bed, but also in the intellectual aspect. At the beginning of a relationship, it is especially important to spend time on mental self-development. Read books, be aware of news and current topics, attend unusual events.
A man should be interested in talking to you.
Go overboard and clever, of course, is not necessary. It is also undesirable to shower your new lover with biography, it still comes to this, but later. At first it is better to listen to the guy more and talk on neutral topics.
Be interesting to a guy
What shouldn’t a girl do at the beginning of a relationship?
There are many things that can break up a budding romance. Everyone has different tastes, so it is impossible to predict what exactly will repel a particular suitor. But you can identify a common denominator – the words, actions and behaviors that cool the feelings of most men.
In the first stages of a relationship, you don’t need to do these things:
- See each other often – at first it is better to arrange two or three dates a week. So you have time to miss each other, the relationship is simple and unobtrusive, everyone has time to prepare mentally for the next meeting.
- Criticize yourself – do not complain to the guy about the unwashed head, obese dress, fat legs, popped a pimple and other defects appearance. Do not berate your character. The more you sass yourself, the less attractive you become in the eyes of the guy.
- Have sex on the first date – by delaying the cherished moment, you will make yourself even more intriguing and alluring in the eyes of a man. Bonus: he will take you for a decent girl with moral principles.
- Get upset – it’s especially important to control your emotions when you’re dating. You should not show anger or throw a tantrum. A permanent partner can and will put up with this. The new you have not yet attached to anything, so he is likely to start looking for a more adequate girl.
- Try to get into his life – do not rush to get acquainted with friends and parents, it is better to spend time together first.
- Control his life – not only does the girl stick her nose into his business, she also tells him what to do and who to talk to! No guy can take that. The first time you just have to watch, not trying to make any adjustments to the lifestyle and character of your loved one.
- Talk about joint plans for life – many girls on the third day start looking for names for future children. Plans to make it possible, but men should not be involved in them – they are still interested in something else.
- Burden a man with their problems – when a girl starts dating the guy, she craves flowers, attention, nice evenings in the company of her beloved. No one immediately lights up with the desire to wash socks and cook borscht. Here and a man should not be harnessed to his domestic problems before time.
- Scold your ex – a young man instantly put himself in their place and nothing good will come of it.
What should not be done at the beginning of a relationship?
Finally, a word of advice: Be patient with the phrase “I love you. These are strong words that help lovers strengthen the emotional connection. But in the first few months, they often have the opposite effect.
You have recently met, the guy is still just looking around and not thinking about anything serious. Hear a declaration of love – scared of responsibility and disappear from the horizon.
Be patient, respect your chosen one and try to bring joy into his life.
How to properly start a relationship with a guy you like?
Copywriter with a college degree in psychology. I can’t get past articles about how our brain works.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For 8 years I save the “family unit” from collapse. I help couples regain love and understanding.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy – an important and serious stage during which the foundation is laid for the future of the couple. If there is one, of course. And to be or not to be the future depends on many factors, but the most important is the correct and harmonious development of the original relationship, so every step of the way should be thoroughly thought out and weighed.
The future depends primarily on the wisdom of women. How she behave, how to bypass the pitfalls so that the relationship was favorable and led to good results?
Already on the first date the couple begin to lay the stereotypes of future relationships, which then it is not easy, and sometimes impossible, to correct.
In order to better navigate in such matters, it is necessary to first understand the psychological types of men. And how to behave correctly at the beginning of a relationship.
Classification of men according to psychological types
- Type one, unable to build a relationship
The inability to build a proper relationship has two reasons. The first is that the man is not mature enough for a long-term relationship, but there is hope that over time he will change for the better. The second reason is that he is not capable of building relationships with people a priori. To come to the right conclusions, it is worth asking how are his relationships in the workplace, with neighbors, parents, friends, if any.
A man of this type can coexist with a woman, but more in the physical plane. Psychologically, he is deeply indifferent to how the woman feels. He doesn’t even try to take care of her, it doesn’t occur to him. Taking care of her is enough.
Ideal, almost saintly, representatives of the strong half of mankind belong to this type. Their small group is diluted with an ennumber of monks and spiritual gurus, who practically do not need women’s society. There are not enough of these men for all women.
- Type three, ordinary.
Sinful men, strong and not so strong, yearning for love, understanding and recognition. Psychologically vulnerable, largely dependent on women. The most numerous group.
With a representative of the first type it is better to say goodbye immediately and forever, because this psychological parasite will not bring anything but heartache and disappointment to a woman’s life.
A representative of the third type needs a woman as much as she needs him. So, with him it is quite realistic to build a relationship, especially if properly behaved at the beginning. It should be remembered that a lot depends on the first impression, and then it will be impossible to correct it.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy: how not to make mistakes
Some of the female sex when dating begins to play roles that are not appropriate for them. This is a big mistake, because it does not work to play for life. Moreover, if the girl has no talent for acting, then such a game turns out insincere and false. Well, if the partner who has seen the trick will be indulgent, but after all he can wag his finger at his temple, at least virtually. For the normal development of relations it is important to respect yourself and your loved one, to be yourself, and not an invented character.
- Do not give a chance to illusions.
A woman is characteristic of endowing the beloved man with noble features, next to which he, perhaps, did not stand next to, and sacredly believe in their fantasies. Love clouds the mind, the novelty of feelings blinds, and the faults of the chosen one are not seen, or are seen, but not considered significant.
Life can alarmingly semaphore a woman, but she will stubbornly ignore the signals she receives, so she does not want to let bad things into her love. Illusions will be shattered anyway, it’s just a matter of time. The most frustrating thing is that this happens most often already in marriage and is a source of disappointment and dissatisfaction.
If a girl can not adequately assess the chosen one herself, it is a good idea to invite a more experienced friend or relative as an independent expert.
- Do not get attached before time.
Attachment – not love, but still a rather strong feeling. If there is no confidence in the sincerity of your loved one’s feelings, do not overestimate the value of the relationship.
A guy may use a girl’s premature affection for his own purposes, without regard for her desires and needs. This will lead to serious suffering on the part of the woman both in the case of the breakup of the relationship and in the case of its further development.
- Do not rush things
You should keep a certain distance for a while, then allowing a man to get pretty close, then slightly moving it away. Men like this style of communication, which allows them to feel like a conqueror. A woman, on the other hand, as if she were keeping her chosen one on a leash, allowing them to walk freely, but at the same time not allowing them to run away.
It is inevitable when two adults with different upbringings and worldviews come together in one union. But compromises should not humiliate or deceive either party.
The financial component may not play the last role in the development of the relationship, although not every girl will agree to admit it even to herself. In any case, it is worth avoiding talking about this topic so that the admirer does not get the feeling that he is needed for the sake of money.
- Domestic issues are not trivial.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy is perceived as a holiday, and the first time does not give proper importance to domestic issues. As life shows, everyday life is far from being a trifle. Often it is the most difficult obstacle to a happy family life.
- There is no need to dissolve in the chosen one
Do not give yourself all of the man, who is still a stranger and it is unclear whether he will ever become his. Man accepts what is happening as a matter of course, and does not take adequate measures in response. He will get used to this state of affairs and will demand such an attitude forever.
If a man behaves disrespectfully in relation to his girlfriend, the boorish, tolerate and be silent categorically impossible. Otherwise, the result of this behavior will be even greater insolence of men.
Do not serve her lover, forgetting about themselves, their needs and hobbies. In this case, the man is gradually beginning to lose interest in the woman as a person.
A woman should in the first place to accept courting and signs of attention, and return them to a man – this is the second. It is appropriate to compare a woman to a flower that is watered by a gardener. The flower thanks the gardener with its blossom and fragrance.
It is unnatural for a flower to start watering the gardener. In this case, the flower will wither away without love and attention.
Some guys may treat excessive tutelage differently. They may find it unpleasant, as it violates their personal space and freedom. A break from each other is necessary, at least for a short time.
- No Claims
Making claims at the beginning of a relationship with a guy is rash. During this period, no one owes anyone anything. Everything is still shaky and unclear.
It is necessary to turn to a man for help. If the girlfriend perfectly copes without him, even with men’s work, her admirer begins to feel his unclaimed, unnecessary, which leads to the degradation of the relationship.
- Do not scare the guy
It is not necessary to pour out on a man a whole bowl of their sorrows and troubles, especially at once. Men, though they are the strongest half of humanity, are actually afraid of all the difficulties and problems.
- Checks – no!
Do not arrange a test of feelings. This is a direct path to disappointment for men, because it does not imply confidence and is an indicator of sheer stupidity.
- Talking about the future is forbidden.
The beginning of a relationship with a boyfriend is not a good time to discuss a common future. In this period, men do not think about such things, and may treat such conversations with apprehension.
It will be better to put a taboo on the past. No talk about who had what, and how many times. And certainly no comparisons.
A woman does not have to reveal herself completely in front of the chosen one. It is necessary to conceal a kind of mystery, intrigue. Again, it is important not to overdo it with secrets.
- The family is sacred.
It is not bad to get acquainted with the parents of the guy, to visit them at home, and not just once, to find out the atmosphere in which he grew up. According to experts, a person subconsciously transfers to his family what he saw in his parents. Observing, as parents treat each other, whether the man helps the woman – you can make far-reaching conclusions.
Not hurtful would be to carefully find out about the health of the parents – no one cancels hereditary diseases.
Do not be fooled by hasty declarations of love. Love matures gradually, juicing like grapes in the sun. It is possible that a mutual sympathy develops into a real feeling of light, but it may be the other way around.
It is impossible to find the perfect man, everyone has his own advantages and disadvantages. It is not right to think that you can re-educate a grown man, to fit the desired pattern. But, despite the shortcomings, it is much easier to coexist with a man, if you go for it consciously.
Every girl dreams of a happy family life. The first step on the long road to the dream is the beginning of a relationship with a guy. Women’s wisdom, patience and love will help you to go through all the thorns and achieve your goal.