How to behave in a relationship with a girl
What is a relationship between a man and a woman? Fatal inevitability or a happy opportunity?
Since you called yourself a man, then it will depend on you and how properly will develop a relationship with a woman.
To be honest, it’s a woman’s prerogative to “deal” with relationships, that’s basically what she’s made for. And, unlike a man, it is better for the woman herself, if she will succeed as a wife and mother, than as a successful businesswoman. Although one does not exclude the other, which in fact is very rare.
Let the woman worry and care about your love partnership, but don’t forget to monitor her actions and correct them in time. Power, put in the hands of a woman, and it will hurt her, and you, too.
So before you set foot on the path of a serious relationship with a girl, remember some rules that you need to follow.
The main recommendations are.
Be a fatalist.
A real woman doesn’t need much. A real woman needs everything! Author unknown.
You and I, dear reader, such cries can not get through. You and I know for sure that real men, just like women, do not exist, and that fake men and women are mannequins in a clothes store. And if we reason absolutely sensibly, then any woman, without exception, will not have enough.
It makes no sense to a woman to talk about it, because deep down inside she has her own opinion about the male ideal, and sooner or later your chosen one will start trying to push you to transform into the image of a utopian hero. Sometimes such attempts can benefit a man, but very often it can lead to unnecessary stress in the relationship and frustration.
The ideal man for a woman is a powerful, successful, wealthy member of the male species who can give her unlimited access to material possessions, while being in love with a woman as much as possible.
But you have to take your word for it: even if that’s what a woman wants, it’s not really important for her, and some of the things you said are not necessary at all.
Strive to be successful and have an inexhaustible desire for self-improvement – this is your direct responsibility. A woman needs a man with a core, who knows what he wants, who will not bend under her, but on the contrary will control the woman. A man’s success and power run parallel to a woman’s true desires and do not always overlap.
And due to the fact that a woman is a divine but insatiable creature who takes everything she can, even if she doesn’t need it, you shouldn’t try to be good to her and give her everything you have. Be gracious, but don’t take the position of a wimp. Don’t fight the feminine essence, be a fatalist.
2. be natural.
That doesn’t mean you should blow your nose in front of a girl and act like a man living on the street. Of course not.
Being natural means being yourself. You shouldn’t try on other people’s masks and try to seem like a different person.
However, do not confuse such behavior with your personal desire to become a better person, the thirst for self-development.
Naturalness and spontaneity are important qualities that have an attractive power for women.
3. be assertive and authoritarian
In order to behave properly in a relationship with a girl, you need to understand that a woman loves only a warrior.
You are a man, and you are right. You go through life doing what you think is right. And if they try to put something else on you, it’s probably going to hurt you.
If you don’t want to lose value in a woman’s eyes, don’t let her push you around. Even though a woman will occasionally try to control and manipulate you, you have to stop any attempts of that kind. Be tougher.
This does not mean that the woman is a dumb puppet whose opinion should not be listened to. It’s just that the final decision should be yours. If a girl asks you for something, hiding behind the fact that it needs “us”, still think about whether such a request will not hurt you.
4. Be selfish.
You are for realizing your goals, and she is for you.
A wise woman is happy only when her man is happy. Not all women realize this, but you do not need all. If your companion does not have understanding of this issue, then you should think, but what do you need such a man?
It doesn’t make any sense to fit in with a woman, because she won’t forgive you. I hope the role of the rug at the door – this is not your position in life. So you do what you think is right for you.
Women are professional selfish women. They do what they want without much concern for your inner spiritual world. To win, play by their rules, but don’t let your girlfriend forget that your rank is higher.
Treat your date with warmth and respect, but put your own interests first. Don’t think that you owe something to your girlfriend, and there won’t be any problems in your relationship.
Don’t believe, don’t be afraid, don’t ask
1. Do not believe
Sincere we call a woman who does not lie unnecessarily. Anatole France
The nuances of a woman’s deception vary widely, from understatement and distortion of the truth to outright lying.
With a woman, always be on your guard and know that she is deceiving you if:
1) She convinces you of something with particular enthusiasm
Contrary to public opinion, which is probably based on the dialogues of grannies under the porches, women, if they are good actresses, it’s only because there is no Stanislavsky among us anymore.
In other words, if you have enough experience with women, and you’ve previously caught a girl in a lie, they won’t be able to repeat this dirty trick on you, because even great actresses and memorable female roles are not so many. Gimmickry and overacting are not uncommon companions of women in attempts to mislead.
In any case, a woman’s overly convincing and emotional speech aimed at proving something to you should make you at least wary.
2) She gets upset and cries if you can’t convince her.
Women’s tears are a typical manipulation attempt. The attitude should be simple – she’ll cry and calm down.
If you think that women have a habit of crying for any reason, because they are weak and helpless, you are deeply mistaken.
Why a woman might cry:
To get something from you that you can’t get any other way.
- She is trying to hide the truth or lie. The purpose of such behavior is the following: to pretend to be helpless and resentful, thus shifting the blame on you. And then, if you are a good “teddy bear”, perhaps she will forgive you. Well, you’ll naturally swallow the woman’s lies, you were promised forgiveness, after all.
3) She pauses to answer your questions
Few women can answer questions quickly, clearly and to the point. And if a woman has to answer convincingly and lie at the same time, her reaction rate will slow down even more.
In order to keep a pause before answering a question, girls can do the following:
- Smile enigmatically.
- Slow down or shrug.
- Look at you sideways.
- Cross your arms across your chest or walk to the window.
And only after these manipulations give you an answer, speaking slower than usual.
If this happens, you are being lied to. Try to rephrase the question and ask it in a different form, under different conditions and at a different time.
4) She answers questions with questions
- Why don’t you believe me?
- Why are you interested in this?
- Why do you need to know all this?
After the woman has had some time to think about what to answer you, the sweetest lies in the world pour out to you.
5) She moves the conversation to another topic or tries to occupy you with other things
- Instead of getting an answer, you inexplicably made love, after which you forgot you were asking about something.
- Your girlfriend suddenly remembers that she urgently needs to make a very important phone call.
- “Totally accidentally” a plate broke, and your chosen one needs to pick up the pieces.
Lies again. Take it easy. Don’t freak out and stay calm. You’re a man, so engage your logical thinking, gather more facts and analyze what happened.
Think about why your girlfriend is doing this. Maybe it’s absolute nothing. Maybe you’re acting too tough and have to hide something. Do not be presumptuous, but do not make a fool of yourself.
If you have managed to expose the feminine lies several times, tell the girl that you should not cheat, because the next time will be the last.
2. Don’t be afraid.
You’re afraid that a woman will insult you.
No matter how much men chortle, fear of a woman still exists.
We’re afraid of being told off, of being insulted with words, of being treated disparagingly. In general, men are afraid of getting a blow to their self-esteem.
Take these things completely calmly, because a woman is not capable of evaluating you objectively. Women are different people. They can evaluate your hair, your perfume, your car. But to understand what you are really like, they can hardly do it.
So don’t sweat it.
You’re afraid of failing.
Yes, you’re a man. But you’re still a man, not a robot. You’re going to have to make a lot of choices and decisions, sometimes even wrong ones, not without concessions and compromise. There is nothing terrible in this, and to such situations should be treated calmly.
We shouldn’t put ourselves on the same level as God, because a woman doesn’t really need the Almighty for a relationship. Each of us wants to see a man of flesh and blood nearby, and lovely ladies are no exception.
Don’t be afraid that in some areas of life your friend will be better than you. That’s as normal as having your advantages over a woman in other areas.
Don’t be afraid of being inadequate in bed. There are many negative factors: stress, alcohol, age. Women know this, and your companion also worries about you during s*x. Well, if you’ve heard the banter, just point the lady to the door. By the way, in that case you have a better chance to get some sleep.
You’re afraid of losing a woman.
Well, man. Let me remind you that a woman is not your purpose in life.
And even if your girlfriend is valuable and very dear to you, don’t show her this excessively explicitly in a needy manner, don’t stick out and don’t hyperbolize your feelings. Do not throw trump cards, because as soon as the woman finds your weak spot, expect a blow right there.
Realizing that she is exceptional value to you, your value to her will automatically decrease. In this case, the thought of his own uniqueness will cause his girlfriend to control and manipulate you, using the threat of breaking up the relationship. Do you need this?
But if it’s already gone too far, good riddance to her. A man’s self-sufficiency and independence is worth a lot more than any woman, especially since there is no such thing as an irreplaceable woman. There is no woman who can not be replaced by another.
3. don’t ask.
A woman has nothing that needs to be asked of her. Love, physical intimacy, respectful treatment – these are things that it is strictly forbidden to beg.
A woman will give you everything you want on her own, because she also needs it all from you. But she won’t throw away her values to a beggar. But a self-sufficient, confident man is another matter.
Do not forget that your rank in the relationship is higher, and then the woman herself will be interested in your person.
Author and founder of extraMan. Visit our male forum EXTRAFORUM.RU – ask questions and talk. Go to the forum →
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How to behave in a relationship with a girl : 19 comments
This is not an easy task at all, but still you need to try to show yourself so that she admires you. But to do this you need responsibility, activity and optimism. Remember that your future relationship with your girlfriend will depend on how you will behave with her. But you should never stop there.
So wait, then you won’t be who you are.
Thanks for the advice.
I am convinced by my wife that women live by their instincts, feelings and emotions, and then by their heads. Some of them do not live with their heads at all. A wife is quite capable of giving a blow to the head. For example, to cheat. Or something with money. Or with work. How should a husband, a man, behave? According to the law of the Tao, not to do anything excessively. Don’t love too much, don’t wait too much, don’t beg, don’t crawl on your knees. Do not hope too much (that she will be faithful, that she will come, that she will not vent her anger on you, that she will not fall out of love). Otherwise the payback – the wife will hit in the most exposed place. Can a wife betray her husband? The answer is she can. But women also have weaknesses. First, she always promises more than she can give. Including pleasure in *ex. Secondly, inside all this beauty, delicate figure, tempting eyes sits not a deity after all, but a man with his habits, character and the need to send life (to eat, dress, sleep, drink, go to the toilet, earn money to live). This man inside a woman can be cowardly or brave, lucky or not so lucky, shrewd or dim-witted. If the husband, the man does not get stuck on beauty, tenderness, and goes further, to the woman’s gut as a person, and is located there, then the woman’s charms are not so killer on him, he does not hang noodles on his ears and he begins to understand something. A woman always hits the sore spot in a man – his ego. Denies attention, *ex, love, affection, respect. She knows where to hit. And you agonizingly think, “Why did I get involved with her? But you didn’t get involved with her, you got involved with the relationship of the sexes, where the basic issues of the human race are solved – reproduction, survival, communication. And this sphere has its own laws, and they are quite ruthless. Through women, these laws are put into practice. And you just have to adapt to them.
And why do you and your wife need such a semi-relationship? Can a wife cheat? Is it “wife”? I mean, is “wife” isn’t a person? Certainly not a deity, an evil one, right? Can a “husband” cheat? I’ll say yes, too! Have you ever thought that you have to live not by a half-stamp, but to go to a higher level of relationship? Any man needs love, attention, care, understanding that he is welcome and appreciated. You, if you say so, your woman can not give it all. Judging by your “philosophical” comment. You “look into the gut”, but apparently do not see anything there.
The beginning of a relationship with a girl: major problems and mistakes
If you liked a girl, not enough just to get acquainted and start dating her. You need to think through a plan to win her over in advance, which will help the relationship to grow and strengthen. Let’s talk about the main problems and mistakes of guys, as well as what concerns the current generation.
What are the actual problems?
Often partners rush headlong into a maelstrom of love and forget about common sense. They do not notice the flaws in each other, admire the made-up image and do not remove the rose-colored glasses. The confetti-bouquet period is one of life’s most beautiful moments.
However, a pleasant pastime is often overshadowed by the “lapping” of the two people who are essentially still strangers to each other. At the beginning of a relationship with a girl we are usually talking about falling in love and passion, but not about great love.
The euphoria fades with time, everything becomes different than it was yesterday. The guy starts to annoy the girl, she constantly walks around with her lips pouting.
Beware of doing something stupid that could lead to the breakup of the relationship. I’m talking about being too pushy, too demanding, rushing, and disrespectful. Now let’s break down the major problems and mistakes guys make.
Girls and guys often neglect the important advice to be themselves. They begin to try too hard to interest the partner, to please him. Wishing to appear better, everyone begins to play a different role. As a result, this behavior causes irritation, and the romance soon ends.
To avoid major problems and mistakes at the beginning of a relationship with a girl, don’t be a narcissistic turkey. Don’t lie about your status, education, earnings. If you like to embellish the events of your life by telling what a hero you are, look, don’t overdo it. Otherwise it will only cause laughter and pity.
The poem comes immediately to mind:
♪ The past is gone ♪
Remember, with a new girl, you have to start your life anew. Harem of beauties, crazy adventures in clubs and unhappy love in grade 9 – these topics are taboo. Even if the girl asks about past affairs, do not tell her everything. No, you don’t have to lie about her being your first. Just say there was a relationship and it ended for some neutral reason. Don’t dare compare her to a past fling.
It’s easy to hurt a lady with a word. So you have to filter the topics of conversation and weed out forbidden statements. And now catch the top 10 phrases that for many girls are like a shot from a revolver:
- How your in-laws stress me out.
- Your girlfriend looks great.
- Maybe it’s time for you to join a gym.
- At least my ex-girlfriend had abs!
- My mom’s a better cook and cleaner around the house.
- Ew, what happened to your hair?
- I don’t plan on getting married for the next seven years.
- Remember how great our vacation was in Kabardinka? Oh, I wasn’t with you then, I was with Anya.
- Maybe you won’t talk to your friend anymore?
- No one needs you!
At the beginning of a relationship a girl can get really freaked out when she hears statements like that. Believe me, she will never forget it, and will bring up every opportunity.
Down with the gray of everyday life
For a bright and memorable start to a relationship with a girl, do not make her bored with you. Forget the daily suggestions like “Can we watch a movie at my place?”, “Let’s sit by the school stadium?” Spice up your boring weekdays with interesting activities.
Become more determined!
One of the main problems and mistakes at the beginning of a relationship with a girl is insecurity. Do not you know that young ladies prefer strong guys and dream to meet a brave knight? Fiancee quickly lose interest in you if you will constantly doubt everything and adjust to her desires.
Learn how to make decisions and be responsible for your words and actions. Do not wait until your sweetheart herself stop the horse on the gallop and enter the burning house. Show strength and courage should be the one to whom it is inherent in nature.
Do not text her every 10 minutes. If she’s busy with school or work, I can imagine she’d be sick of your intrusive calls. This is how you make it clear that you have nothing to do and the girl is taking up most of your life.
Excessive intrusiveness can scare your partner. Don’t turn into a maniac who relentlessly scribbles poems like “one angel is reading this text message right now…”. Hold your horses (in this case, rainbow unicorns) until your date. On your date, give her a hug so she understands how much you missed her. At the end of the day, respect the girl’s personal time. She has her own family and friends, too.
Constant Absence and Indifference
If some guys are overly obsessive, then others, on the contrary, are constantly absent from their girlfriend’s life. If you always disappear, do not answer the phone and are looking for an opportunity to sneak out of the meeting, then it is not clear why you need this relationship at all. Do you want to seem unapproachable and elusive? Unfortunately, you risk being alone.
A girl needs you to be there for her. Otherwise someone else will be there for her. There’s no such thing as no time or mood. You either need a person or you don’t. It may just be that you don’t want them. So stop keeping your distance and find a middle ground between being pushy and ignoring.
Even the most loving lady will stop expecting warmth from a man if she constantly feels indifference in her address. The passive attitude towards his chosen one can be real or contrived. In both cases, this coldness makes the girl suffer.
If you show indifference in a frankly ostentatious form, do not think that you can get everything you want from your girlfriend. This pick-up trick, although it works, is only suitable for those guys who are interested in one-night stands.
The third extra.
Relationships often fall apart at the beginning if a third person shows up. Don’t let her friend or your buddy get close to your happy affair. I know from my own experience how easily a best friend can turn a girl away. Her buddy, who is in search of a boyfriend, will constantly incline her to have fun bachelorette parties. The way out: introduce her friend to your friend.
The third can be more than just a rival or rival. I’m talking about work, alcohol, bad habits, or a big crush on some activity. When you feel the alarm bells ringing, hurry to break up this triangle. If you prefer to spend all your time at a book club or with friends at a bong joint, think, do you need the attitude now?
Don’t get ahead of your pants.
There is an opinion that every young lady sees herself next to the guy in a wedding dress and dreams about the beautiful day when he will propose to her, getting down on one knee with a ring in his hand. Most ladies, indeed, are like that. However, persistent discussions about an imminent wedding, children together, and buying real estate at the outset can alienate the other half.
First, answer yourself the questions:
- How long have we been together?
- Am I confident in her feelings and commitment?
- Is she ready for children?
- What would her parents say about this?
- Do I have everything I need to provide for my wife and children without the help of my parents?
- Am I ready to live with her for the rest of my life?
If you decide to live together right away, you will have to share a household with a girl who doesn’t know your routines and life principles. Not the fact that the partner will show herself as a real mistress, and then the conduct of a joint household will spoil even a strong relationship.
Where without the experienced psychologists, which then make you doubt yourself, then teach common sense. Experts believe that after some time in the relationship begins a crisis of reasoning. You and your girlfriend will feel the oversaturation of each other. Meetings will become less frequent, communication will be more alienated.
If you can overcome the crisis of reflection, then your relationship will move to a new super level. Believe psychologists or not – it’s up to everyone. In any case, a close connection between two people – these are certain stages that require both trust, patience, respect.
Now catch a cheat sheet on female psychology that will help keep a new relationship going for the long haul:
1. If you are not a telepath, you have no idea what women want. You can talk to a girl in the same language, but absolutely do not understand each other. If she says she wants to be alone, she means “take me in your arms.” So in a conversation with your chosen one, think about what her words may mean.
Any girl blossoms when she is told about love, her beauty and sexuality. Give compliments, give gifts. Pleasant little things can strengthen the relationship.
3. you have to accept the fact that tears are an integral part of a woman’s life. Wet eyes can be seen not only from resentment, but also from delight. You don’t have to laugh at her. Sit next to her, give her a hug and comfort her.
All was well, sitting, talking, kissing. Suddenly her mood changed dramatically. She remembered your joint from five weeks ago and started fighting. Sound familiar? Learn to manage your emotions and her tantrums. Show care and affection, tell her you love her.
These are all myths!
Don’t think that your relationship will match the ideal and equal the doldrums at sea. There are still so many storms of disappointment ahead! Immediately I will destroy the common misconceptions that apply to the initial stage of any romance:
1. We are good together, and will always be so. Any relationship requires a titanic effort. If you don’t make an effort, the garden will never bloom. Don’t make things go with the flow. Take care of every day you spend with her. Enjoy and make each other happy.
2. We love each other, and I know all about her feelings for me. She can’t fully communicate her thoughts. Getting inside her head is very difficult. You can’t even imagine how many cockroaches there are that drive unbuckled.
3. we will always be good in bed. At the beginning of a relationship with a girl, the desire doesn’t go away one bit. You are just beginning to explore each other and open up to your partner. In reality, the level of passion decreases over time. The reason for this is routine. But there is always a chance to make the flame flared with renewed vigor.
As for the stereotypes, in most cases, they are also myths. Hitting the target is just a fluke. I’ve never believed in “see less often – love more,” “opposites attract,” “heaven in the shack with a sweetheart.”
Make the girl happy is easy, but expensive.
When a relationship first starts, the question involuntarily comes up, “Who should pay?” If you invite her to a movie or cafe, you should initially expect to be able to pay.
Girls are used to talking about the financial well-being while their man is working two jobs, earning lumbar osteochondrosis instead of the coveted millions. If your girlfriend is sensible, she’ll treat money as a resource that needs to be constantly maintained. Otherwise, you’ll become a cash cow and your chosen one a consumer.
To avoid being in an awkward situation, discuss planned expenses on shore. There are three ways things can go wrong:
- she pays for herself;
- the bill is always split in half;
- you pay for both.
If the lady is constantly shaking you down for new Louboutins or a mink coat, you should think about her attitude toward you. Of course, it’s always nice to take care of a girl and surprise her, but only in moderation.
I always made good money, and I didn’t have much trouble with money. The girls who were after my wallet, I knew right away. Check yourself. If you answered “yes” to more than half of the statements, you need to think:
1. she constantly talks about how hard her life is. Her parents don’t help. There were no toys or candy as a child. She cannot afford a vacation abroad or a beautiful dress. She has nothing to pay this month’s loan. She looks puppy-dog at the showcase with handbags that cost half your salary. If your chosen one defiantly sheds a tear, then without money it is no consolation.
2. she constantly talks about money and work. What else will interest a young lady who needs your wallet? Her favorite questions are: “How much do you make a day?”, “When will you have a bonus?”, “Will we have enough of your salary for a trip?”
3. she takes credit for expensive things. A friend saves on small things, but she takes out installments on brand name gadgets and jewelry so she can be as good as anyone else. Trust me, soon her debts will migrate to you.
4. She is not ashamed to ask you. You meet 2-3 months, and she is not ashamed to take money for cosmetic procedures, a trip to the dentist, hanging out with friends and new clothes.
5. She doesn’t want to spend time where she doesn’t have to spend. A walk in the park or a picnic in the woods is not for her. Mercantile people choose expensive cafes, clubs and restaurants, where you can have a good rest and make cool pics on the envy of friends and subscribers.
6. She gets offended over nothing. “And Natasha’s boyfriend orders flowers home every day, and Lenka’s boyfriend gave her the latest model Samsung. After these words, she becomes sad and thoughtful. In the end, she takes offense by manipulating your sense of guilt. This is calculated that you will calm her down with a gift or an offer to go somewhere.
My acquaintance, for example, can not long to go out with the young ladies, who always pay for themselves. So they are trying to show their independence, and he thinks – the superiority. I, too, stop seeing them as girls. Men always have to take care of someone. Everything has to happen in such a way that no one takes advantage of anyone.
How to behave properly
To avoid major problems and mistakes at the beginning of a relationship with a girl, learn how to behave properly, namely:
- regularly prove your feelings and words with actions;
- Do not take offense to your resentments and grievances;
- Respect your girlfriend’s choice;
- keep equality and respect for each other;
- Do not let feelings die out and always keep your hand on the pulse of your relationship.
And lastly, a few more tips:
1. If you constantly do not have time for your chosen one, do not be surprised when she boldly turn around and leave, so that the whole life is not standing in wait for her turn.
2. Never be offended by her tantrums. Wait until she calms down and continue to love her further.
3. Give your beloved personal freedom. The shorter the leash, the faster it will break.
4.Excessive generosity or complete lack thereof will never make the relationship harmonious.
As nature intended, men and women can not live without each other. Despite the importance of the relationship between the two sexes, none of us has ever learned how to properly build it. Schools and institutions do not talk about such things, for most people they are of secondary importance. I hope my advice, based on personal experience, will help you at the beginning of a relationship with a girl, and you will not encounter the main problems and mistakes standing in the way of your happiness together.