7 reasons why colleagues do not like you and how to fix it
Employers often like to brag about their team environment, but maybe you’re just not comfortable with your co-workers. Maybe a phrase from a reality TV show works better for you: “You didn’t come here to make friends. You came here to win.”
And that’s fine. Maybe you don’t care if your co-workers like you; however, you shouldn’t care if they don’t like you. Being a quiet loner won’t necessarily stop you from contributing and being part of the team, but actively disliking you can have a negative impact on your career. After all, the less likeable you are, the less likely others are to cooperate with you, volunteer to help you when you need it, or recommend you for promotion.
You pull the blanket over yourself all the time.
We all like to receive praise and recognition for our hard work. It’s something that everyone – not just you – appreciates.
But if an employee is only concerned with creating a successful career, it’s pretty hard to like them.
How to fix this : be gracious in your success and give credit where it is due. When you are successful, don’t forget those who helped you along the way.
You don’t notice your mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes – that’s normal. The most important thing is to work on fixing them. And don’t pretend the problems don’t exist.
“Someone who makes a mistake and instead of admitting it, tries to cover it up or even blame someone else is unlikely to gain respect and acceptance,” says Sarah Shevitz, a licensed psychologist.
How to fix it : Allow yourself to be more vulnerable in the workplace by admitting your mistakes, apologizing for them and, if necessary, asking for help with the problem, Shevitz advises.
You like to complain.
We all complain about work from time to time. But constantly complaining to your coworkers won’t help anyone-and least of all yourself.
“We all feel unhappy at times because of our circumstances, but a consistent pattern of negativity usually destroys the environment for others and alienates others,” says Donna Lubrano, adjunct faculty member at Northeastern University College of Professional Studies.
How to fix it : If you are constantly dissatisfied with your job, it may be time to look for a new one. Identify your biggest problems and start looking for a place where those problems don’t exist.
Sure, there are times when people prefer to keep to themselves, that doesn’t mean it should become a habit. When it comes to colleagues, communication can make a big difference.
How to fix this : make an effort to get to know your coworkers as people. Agree to an unplanned casual meeting after work or offer to have lunch with a colleague. Not only will you be more likeable, but studies show that connecting with other employees can actually make you more engaged and happy at your job.
Negative body language
Simply exchanging pleasantries with colleagues may not be enough, especially if your body language says otherwise. Think about how often you don’t look at your colleague, cross your arms over your chest, or slouch? You are pushing your coworkers away.
How to fix it : Take a yoga or ballet class to improve your posture, or sign up for an elocution class.
Disrespect for other people’s space and time
Disrespecting someone else’s personal space or wasting someone else’s time is often interpreted as a personal insult.
How to fix it: don’t assume that your coworkers will constantly adjust to you. Remember that they have their own responsibilities and priorities that require their attention. Warn them by calling or emailing them and asking if they have time to talk. Also, be mindful of the volume of your voice and try not to address personal issues at work.
People tend to like people they can trust, and gossip is a quick way to show your coworkers that you can’t be a trustworthy partner. Gossip is among the major behaviors that reduce an employee’s chances of promotion.
How to fix it : In addition to not engaging in office gossip yourself, spare yourself the temptation to support a colleague who is gossiping. Everyone may never like you – and that’s okay – but you can make sure that your coworkers don’t find you to be an overtly unpleasant person. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how little effort it takes to make a big impact on your colleagues’ opinions of you.
Nine signs that you’re not liked at work, and how to change that
If you think something is wrong, it probably isn’t, says a popular wisdom that will turn anyone into paranoid. How to avoid depression and nervous tics if you feel that your colleagues do not like you? Make sure that this is actually the case.
In this article Work.ua presents a list of signs that say one thing – they do not like you at work, and a bonus briefly tells you how to get rid of tension in the team.
Signs that colleagues don’t like you
- They don’t talk to you about extraneous topics. If all colleagues talk to you exclusively about work, do not ask about family and hobbies, although among themselves they talk about it all the time, it is likely that they do not like you.
- Never agree with you on anything. Often colleagues don’t even want to hear the offer of the renegade to the end, cutting it off in half a word. In such situations, everyone present understands that the team feels for one of the staff is a very strong dislike.
- You are ignored. Employees not only don’t listen to your opinions at meetings, but often forget to answer even a greeting or say goodbye at the end of the day? One of two things: either they are very busy, or set against you.
- All jokes are down the drain. Even the witty comment from an unloved colleague, the rest of the face stone, and someone who can not stand it and smile, reward cold glances.
- You are shown superiority. If coworkers talk to you and behave as if they are senior in rank, although it’s not, you are definitely not their favorite. A patronizing tone is very much acceptable to a newcomer. But if you’ve been with the company for six months or more, it can be a sign of resentment and an attempt to elevate yourself at your expense.
- There are rumors about you. Colleagues giggle behind your back, whisper, but are silent when you enter the room, and the most inconsiderate ask if it is true that you have inherited a house, are pregnant by the chief, work for a rival firm (or their own version).
- You are not invited. Meetings with coworkers outside the office are something out of the realm of fantasy for you? Do you dine and drink coffee alone? This means that your employees at least treat you with suspicion.
- You are always in the role of the guilty party. Co-workers constantly make you the sole perpetrator of certain incidents, even if you are not involved in them completely. Your achievements are either ignored, or belittled, or attributed to other people. And if you really make a mess, the bosses will know within half an hour.
- They are looking for a new place for you. When colleagues are constantly sending you links to different jobs, “sorry” for you because of low wages and a mountain of responsibilities, and vied with each other, saying that the company will not give you anything, a high possibility that they just want to get rid of you.
How to cope
If you are convinced that you really do not like the workplace, you have three options:
- Accept and continue to live in a hostile environment, but this is fraught with constant psychological discomfort, which can develop into a real depression. So if you are ready to put up with dislike at work, then at least at home try to be around people who love you – family and friends, and pets.
- Leave and do not turn around – in some cases, especially if you do not particularly cherish your own place in the company, quitting may be the best way out.
- Resolve problems with coworkers. This path is not the easiest, and it starts with yourself. Find out what was the main reason for dislike of colleagues, and fight it, if possible. Find a leader (any team has an informal leader) and talk to him. Make friends with like-minded people: perhaps the cold stares of your colleagues are not just for you, but for one or two more “lucky” people, find them and become buddies.
And we also advise you to look more closely at the situation. It may be, you really just feel that you do not love. And in reality it’s not so bad, and you just do not notice how you are appreciated.