How to behave confidently with a girl?

How to behave with a girl: tips for beginners and experienced suitors

Relationships with the beautiful sex are extremely pleasant, but not so easy. Do you know the proverb that women are very similar to mountain hoppers: they are warm, soft and like with their ears (I will not continue about the crocodile)? In fact, this is a very true statement. On how correctly you will behave with the lady, directly depends on the entire success of further horizontal and more serious prospects.

Typical male mistakes.

I want to start my litany from the opposite direction. This is a kind of bad advice. If you absolutely do not want to achieve a woman’s favor, but on the contrary, you need to get rid of the lady as quickly as possible, then options from the following list will definitely become the cause of your final breakup, and, precisely, on her part:

For the Russian man mate is a way to express his emotions, but not a swear word. But it is not always a delight in the eyes of the girl. Believe me, the majority of even the most refined ladies from the family consisting exclusively of honored teachers and musicians, in the ability to cover with multi-storey swear words will shut up behind the belt of any experienced plumber. But that doesn’t mean a girl wants to hear five three-letter words in every sentence.

We’re all human, and I think in the event of a brick falling on your foot, you’d definitely be forgiven for a foul-mouthed tirade. However, you should definitely not do it without cause. Such rudeness is not a display of brutality or masculinity, but a sign of disrespect for your companion and others. So watch your mouth and watch your mouth.

Lack of basic manners

Not to say that you’re obliged to walk around in a tailcoat and throw at the feet of his beloved down jacket that she was able to cross the mud, not stained shoes (well, or white sneakers, it depends on your taste in women). But didn’t your mother teach you as a child to let the ladies go ahead, offer to help them carry heavy things, open doors for the girls? That’s the standard set of good manners.

And most decent ladies know exactly how to behave a normal (in their understanding) man. So, without waiting for an appropriate reaction, the girl will just be disappointed in you and slowly begin to curtail communication. I do not think that you need to know the full set of cutlery at a dinner party with the royalty. But anyone can give you a hand when you get out of transport, can’t they?

This is a separate topic. And suffer similar effects not only boys, bunnies, who had never seen a naked beautiful once in his life and not yet. Even the experience-wise macho, who have gray in all decent and indecent places, sometimes simply do not give a pass to girls they liked, ignoring her right to privacy. And I definitely don’t recommend doing that, even if the pretty girl is not out of your mind in any way.

Try to keep a balance in everything. Let the woman know that you have a certain interest in her. But to dwell on it is banal for your own psyche. I’m not even talking about how it looks from the girl’s side.

I remember one of my unsuccessful suitors, who was vainly aiming for a beau, was not just calling and messaging me. He naturally wanted a detailed report on what I was doing, where I was going, what I was having for lunch, etc. The man really did not want to understand that I was really “working. It is clear that very soon he was blacklisted everywhere, wherever he could be blocked.

If you are over 30, but your mother still controls every step, congratulations, dreams of a great girl can immediately be buried. Women can smell the insecurity a mile away. If you want to know how to behave with a girl that she did not send in the piss erotic on the first date, remember one simple thing. We. We don’t. Like. Motherfuckers. Sons. Period. No, exclamation point!

If any member of the fair sex likes a guy who constantly interrupts a meeting to answer the call of his dearest parent, then this clearly smells like some kind of pathology. Because every girl wants to see a man near her confident and independent, capable of making strong-willed decisions. And what are you talking about when you’re acting like a delinquent schoolboy? Dude, it’s time to get away from your mom’s boobs, finally, and move on to studying the busts of other ladies.

5. Lack of ambition.

To begin with, it’s unseemly for a grown man to work wherever he can, so long as he doesn’t have to work too hard, and so long as he can’t play around. This speaks of infantilism and unwillingness to achieve something in life. And the majority of girls are now themselves build a career and receive leadership positions in large companies. Then why do they even lazy in life, who other than the couch and a can of beer does not interest anything? So, act as if the size of your ambitions is much larger than the size of your most important organ.

Tell the girl your goals in life, your plans. Especially screwed up is not necessary, but here you should say that you think to get a second degree at a prestigious university or apply for a more prestigious position than you have now, always a good idea. Act like a successful person. Soon it will become a reality. Thoughts are material after all, do not forget the wonders of the subconscious.

Ladies who are interested not only in the contents of your purse, will always pay attention to how and what a man talks about. To interest a beauty you like with your demeanor, be a natural, relaxed and enthusiastic conversationalist. Pay attention to the presence of parasitic words. Their abundance makes the most interesting story completely indecipherable. Try to make your voice clear, firm and articulate. It should not treacherously shake, even if inside you are really afraid of screwing up in front of the object of admiration.

Speak consistently, do not jump from topic to topic, lead the conversation smoothly and logically. Otherwise, your behavior will scare away the girl with your insecurity. No one likes blushing, stammering and dying of shame boys, even they are in their forties, but behind the soul three in the center and a good position of some financial director of a hefty firm. If you don’t know how to act with a girl, just be yourself. It will help take the shivers away and give you confidence in your own strength.

A couple more important tips about how to behave during conversations. Try not to touch too intimate topics if you don’t know your new partner well enough. Black and professional humor will not be understood by everyone. Joking about her appearance – return the way to an untimely demise from the heel between the eyes. Spilling all the information about your ailments at the first meeting is not the best way to make a good impression.

7. Snarky

Almost no one can stand these types of comrades for longer than 10 minutes. And then, I consider such a long time to be a great feat on the part of a woman. If you clearly know such an unpleasant trait behind you, it must be urgently eliminated. Otherwise, your behavior on a date will provoke an instant parting without the right to escort you home, much less stay for a cup of tea.

Do not speak in a monotone voice. This just destroys the interest of the most attentive interlocutor. And don’t correct her every now and then in some platitudes. Everyone has the right to be a little imperfect. In your case, it’s nerdiness. So let your companion have some imperfections, too. After all, pointing out a mistake can be much more graceful than bluntly poking her nose in it.

How to become more confident and bold with girls

There is an ironic statement about male modesty: “Modesty adorns a man, but a real man does not wear jewelry.” Jaroslav hašek, a Czech writer, reflected in this humorous statement the idea that excessive shyness in men is more a negative quality than a positive one. Not all men are born with terrific oratory and self-sacrificing courage. Such an innate quality, such as type of temperament, determines the system of relations with others. Extraverted personality types do not have difficulty communicating and easily overcome verbal barriers. Less fortunate is the closed introverts, stressful situations which have a paralyzing effect (to start a conversation with a girl you like is still stressful).

Shutting yourself off from conversations with girls is an ineffective, but easy way out. If you want to become more confident in communicating with the opposite sex, you will have to try. If you still have doubts about whether you should take the difficult path, then analyze the disadvantages of shyness from the perspective of yourself and others:

Fear of interacting with girls doesn’t leave you with an opportunity to get interesting, helpful acquaintances. Think about your future soulmate. How will she know you’re ready for a relationship?

Shyness leaves you alone with your thoughts. Extreme focus on your own personality prevents you from broadening your horizons.

Failure to communicate effectively breeds fears, feelings of loneliness and new complexes.

Strong arguments say it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and become a better version of yourself. Psychologists who specialize in the field of interpersonal relationships have done research on developing communication skills. This article will give you effective tips for increasing your confidence in communicating with girls.

Psychological techniques to make you more confident

There is no quick-fix way from an insecure, reserved, shy person to become the complete opposite. Work on yourself requires a comprehensive approach that will forever change the perception of others and yourself. The following are techniques and methods that comprehensively work through the personal sphere of the person.

Form an independent opinion

According to Robert Anthony, author of the bestseller “The Essential Secrets of Absolute Confidence,” the cause of shyness and lack of willpower lies in the full belief that others are more knowledgeable, charming and resourceful, unlike you. It is a misconception of the people around you, giving them hypertrophied qualities. There is an external locus of control (giving others’ opinion of yourself an important role in composing your own perception of yourself as a person). From this assumption come the first two recommendations on how to become more confident:

When evaluating personal qualities, rely on your own perceptions, feelings. When you stop relying on external evaluations, a real picture of personal worthiness emerges.

When getting to know a girl you don’t have to initially put her on a pedestal and elevate her personality. When you learn this skill, the process of communicating and making acquaintances will become easier.

The important point is not to expect censure or praise from outside. Create for yourself methods of your own encouragement, with which the need to ask for other people’s appreciation will disappear.

Work through bodily reactions

Pay attention to the way you walk and sit. A lowered head, hunched back, and seedy gait are not associated with a confident, self-sufficient person. Work on your body clamps, try walking down the street with a straight back, head up, and a leisurely, measured gait. Once you can overcome the physical barrier of insecurity, you’ll be closer to your goal.

Get your mindset going thoroughly.

Form a positive, realistic mindset. An internal dialogue that consists of insults to yourself and thoughts of future failure destroys confidence at its root. How to form a realistic positive mindset:

A negative mental argument must be analyzed. Think about why the decision came and how true it is. Reasonableness is calculated by looking for actual events that support the argument. This looks like an unbiased analysis with no room for subjective assessments and personal projections.

Analyze how you can reformulate a thought so that it turns from destructive to constructive. For example, you think, “I have unsolvable problems at work that I cannot cope with. This destructive thought is transformed as follows: “it’s hard for me now, but when I get over it, it will be a real victory.” The person now has a clear idea that trying to fix the situation will give positive emotions and greater confidence in his or her abilities.

Working on the mindset will help bring one as close as possible to gaining self-confidence.

Focus on success

Be able to embrace your success and feel the sweetness of victory. Minor steps that are perceived as progress should be celebrated. The trivial things you’ve changed about yourself (started exercising, acquired a new, enlightening hobby) are real reasons to be proud.

How to effectively strike up a conversation with a girl

Strongly increases confidence the ability to talk to an unfamiliar girl. First, practice online, then move on to offline dating (on the street, in cafes, at various events). There are several interesting ways to start a conversation with a girl and get her attention:

Don’t start a conversation with the banal phrase, “Hi. Let’s get acquainted?”, but selectively identify a tenacious detail in her image and ask a question. For example, if you’re getting to know her online, look at pictures. Maybe she has pets, or travels, or does music/sports/swims. Based on that, formulate an interesting question and ask it.

Avoid one-sided questions that can be answered yes or no. These questions are killers of interesting and lasting dialogue. If you want to know something, formulate the question in such a way that it can be answered in more detail. Then you will get her full attention and make the conversation more meaningful.

To be interested in her, be interested in her. The ability to dispose of a communication partner is based on interest in his personality. Ask questions about her: what her hobbies are, what movies she watches, what flowers she likes, etc. If she decides to talk about herself, do not interrupt her, try to listen. This principle was put forward by Dale Carnegie, author of one of the best books in the world, How to Make Friends and Influence People, which has helped many people gain communication skills.

Use body language (suitable for personal conversations) . A bodily response will help tell for you that you are interested and sympathetic to her. Also that you are an attentive listener. Allan Pease, an Australian expert in the field of communication, explained in his book “Body Language” how to position the interlocutor. Slightly tilt your head to the right side – at a non-verbal level it is interpreted as a sign of increased attention and interest. To create a romantic atmosphere of conversation, look her in the eyes more often. Not all the time, but maintain visual contact. This expresses sympathy for the interlocutor.

Applying these simple recommendations, you will start a dialogue with the girl you like and feel much more confident.

Ways to consolidate the positive results and become an interesting conversationalist

You have captured her attention, and she shows her intention to continue communicating. This raises the problem of how to keep the contact that has developed between you. What are the basic principles of maintaining an interesting conversation? The famous American TV presenter Larry King wrote the book “How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere”, in which he reflected his own experience of developing public speaking skills. It summarizes the points by which you can easily maintain a conversation with a girl:

There is no need to pretend and show distorted emotions to your conversation partner. Honesty is the basic principle of dialogue. If excitement takes over, then tell it like it is. Roughly it can look like this: “Actually, I’m really worried right now,” “I’m trying to be interesting for you, and that’s why I’m worried. Honesty puts people in a better light and shows you in a better light in front of the interlocutor.

Know how to listen and hear the girl, respect her opinion. An interlocutor who can listen to another’s “wrong” point of view – is a great companion. You will want to continue communicating with him. In this case it is important to refrain from caustic criticism and inappropriate comments. Respect is felt, and a relationship of trust develops between people.

Frankness is a key moment in the dialogue. Do not just ask questions and listen to her endlessly. Frankly talking about yourself helps you to understand you better. Removing the intrigue and breaking down the walls between you, you are as close as possible to obtaining the location of the interlocutor.


If you have fully read this article and are ready to apply these recommendations in practice, you will soon become more confident and braver in communicating with girls. Charge up with powerful motivation and you will definitely succeed.

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