11 simple techniques that will make you a confident person
How often do we think that we would be able to pass the job interview, win the attention of “that” guy and generally have a better life if we were more confident? This quality is not given to us from birth, but it can be developed.
ADME collected the best tips from psychologists on how to increase self-confidence.
1. Straighten your back and change your gait.
A straight posture, open wide gestures, a firm gait – all these signs can easily identify a confident person.
So straighten your back, walk with a brisk step, lift your head and take your eyes off the floor. This message will be read by those around you, and you yourself will soon notice how your consciousness has changed. Studies have shown that a confident person’s body language has an effect on reducing stress levels.
Eliminate Negative Thoughts from Your Internal Dialogue
Controlling your inner dialogue is a great way to discipline yourself, albeit very difficult. Try for a week to keep track of all the thoughts that come into your head. And write out the ones that are associated with insecurity. Ask yourself the question, “What evidence can I cite to support this belief?” As you analyze your notes, you will realize that most of the negative thoughts have no basis in fact, and the remaining reasons for stiffness and anxiety can be worked through.
In addition, make a list of your positive character traits and accomplishments. Just read it out when a negative belief creeps into the stream of thoughts.
3. Know the time when your self-confidence leaves you.
If you keep notes as outlined in the previous point, you’ll soon notice that doubts overtake you at the same time. Let’s say you had a wonderful day, but before going to bed you have silly thoughts that nothing will work and that everything is bad in general.
Just think of the appearance of such thoughts its psychological characteristics and accept the usual evening doubts as something automatic, ignoring them.
4) Celebrate Your Achievements
Keep a diary of your successes and make notes in it every day. You don’t have to write out only global accomplishments. Write down every step you take toward your goal, even if it seems insignificant to you. For example, “ate oatmeal for breakfast,” “read 20 pages of a book,” “went for a run this morning.
When you will have reason to be proud of yourself, confidence in your abilities will not be long.
5. Think about your ideal self.
“What would a confident me do if I were me?” – is a great question to ask yourself periodically. Especially when you’re standing on the edge of something new, constrained by awkwardness.
You don’t have to immediately try to make conversation with an interesting man or burst into your dream company with the statement that you should definitely get the job. Start small: smile at a cute stranger, send your resume. And don’t worry about the consequences. Willingness to take risks and take responsibility is the hallmark of a confident person.
6. Learn to accept compliments
People react to compliments in different ways. Some begin to brush it off, others become embarrassed, respond in kind, or even begin to emphasize their own shortcomings. All of these are inadequate reactions that indicate low self-esteem. In addition, by denying the compliment, you devalue the opinion of the one who gave it.
The best response is a sincere smile and gratitude. Don’t make up things for someone else or accuse them of flattery – trust that some of your qualities and traits are actually attractive.
7. Resist Perfectionism.
Your day is clearly scheduled: 20 calls and 10 meetings, sorting emails in the remaining time and not one inefficient minute. But instead of satisfaction you feel frustration, because the result always seems to you not cool enough, right?
By setting yourself unachievable goals, you’re moving toward anxiety, not success. Successful people make mistakes and regret some of their actions, just like the rest of us. But they, unlike others, see the lessons in every situation and know how to benefit from them.
8. Talk to strangers.
Go alone to an event where you don’t know anyone and try to play the role of a confident person. You don’t have to become the soul of the company right away, and it’s unlikely to work in the company of strangers. But later you will feel more confident.
In addition, try to have small dialogues with strangers in everyday situations. Be friendly with the cashier in the supermarket or exchange a few phrases with the waiter in the cafe. For some people, however, this rule doesn’t work. If you feel very uncomfortable talking to strangers, it’s best to stop the experiment.
9. Learn not to look away during a conversation.
You can read a person’s mood and feelings in their eyes. Babies start to look into their parents’ eyes to understand their emotions from 9 months of age. And liars deliberately avert their gaze so that their deception is not revealed.
Avoiding the gaze is also associated with insecurity. Therefore, establish and maintain eye contact in order to draw the interlocutor to you and convince him of the honesty of your intentions.
10. Offer your help.
It is important for people to feel that they belong. This creates a sense of support. When you have someone to lean on, you know you can count on and they won’t say no. However, many of us hesitate to ask for help or offer our own.
Offer help first, to feel your importance and usefulness. This will help get rid of feelings of insecurity and loneliness.
11. Stop sitting on social networks.
And look at the profiles of your acquaintances, comparing yourself to them. Such a habit can seriously undermine self-esteem. Social networks are very much like a field for competing in success. And we all understand that on Instagram, only bright photos from a party or vacation at a luxury resort are posted. But fans of taking selfies on the couch at home in your favorite bathrobe are not so many.
Carry out cleaning in the network: at least temporarily hide the newsfeed, unsubscribe from pestering users with their publications and give yourself a break from social networks at least for a day.
How to develop self-confidence: 10 simple steps
Self-confidence in oneself and one’s abilities is necessary for everyone. It helps to cope with difficult tasks and make important decisions. Self-confident person in any situation behaves more calmly and decently, causing respect and sympathy of others. But the lack of self-confidence leads to serious problems. Such people are hard to meet and communicate, they find it difficult to establish a personal life, get a job and move up the career ladder.
An insecure person never takes risks, so they are forced to watch life go by. If you, reading these lines, have caught yourself thinking that because of insecurity you periodically miss the chances given by fate, you need to urgently start working on yourself. Today we’re going to look in detail at how to develop self-confidence, following a 10-step path. But first, let’s find out what self-confidence is.
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence – a positive property of the person, which implies an adequate assessment of himself, his human qualities and abilities. In addition, a confident person is aware of his self-value. He is firmly aware that he is worthy of certain benefits and will be able to obtain them by applying sufficient effort.
Note at once that self-confidence must be distinguished from self-confidence. The second concept has a negative connotation, because it implies an inadequate perception of one’s own merits and talents. Overconfident person always overestimates his positive qualities and does not notice the shortcomings. He likes to boast, embellishing his achievements, often gives unrealizable promises and lives according to the principle “To seem, not to be.
In contrast, the confident person adequately perceives his position in society, his achievements and talents. He does not strive to appear better, because he already knows very well in what and how much he is good. This quality of personality is directly connected with self-esteem. If it is normal, the person is usually self-confident. If it is underestimated, he often doubts his abilities, and if it is overestimated, he behaves too self-confident.
How is self-confidence formed?
The first prerequisites to self-confidence or insecurity are formed in childhood. Parents, teachers, friends – the child’s self-esteem is influenced by everyone with whom he communicates and on whom he depends in everyday life. When his self-esteem is formed, he learns to look at himself through the eyes of others. He tries to understand how he is evaluated by his relatives and what his traits, talents and actions are emphasized by them.
The uncertainty formed in childhood can often remain unchanged throughout life. However, this is not a reason to despair, because self-confidence is quite possible to develop at any age. We will consider 10 proven tips that, when applied methodically, will help anyone to believe in themselves and their strength.
How to develop self-confidence: 10 tips
Anyone, by purposefully working on themselves, is able to significantly improve their self-esteem and develop self-confidence. Be prepared for the fact that this is a long process that requires a responsible approach. But if you’re willing to work on yourself every day, these tips are guaranteed to help you become much more confident, determined and successful.
1. Engage in self-development
Many people dream for a long time about one day working on themselves: exercising, watching their nutrition and sleep quality, learning English, learning a promising programming language, or mastering a 3D graphics program. Weeks, months, and years go by, and the dream that you can start realizing right now is still a dream.
Self-development is available to everyone. It requires effort, but it doesn’t require any inaccessible resources. So start working on yourself right now. In 2-3 weeks you will feel the first results, and with it your self-confidence will grow.
2. Change the environment
Try to surround yourself with people who inspire you and give you strength. It is desirable to communicate less with those who constantly show uncertainty and hesitate for a long time before each decision. Avoid toxic people who purposely make efforts to lower your self-esteem and make you doubt yourself. You should always have strong personalities by your side, confident and supportive of you in all your endeavors.
3. Make a success diary.
Self-confidence is best boosted by your own successes and achievements. Therefore, a success diary can be a powerful tool along the way. Get a notebook or notebook with a nice motivating cover and write down at least five of your accomplishments in it every day. You can select several areas of your life and record successes in each of them separately, trying to ensure that at the end of the day no column is left blank.
4. 4. Never be jealous.
Envy is a destructive feeling that makes a person feel undeservedly lucky. Envious people usually believe that success is the result of luck, good acquaintances, and other external factors. But this is the wrong approach. Truly believes in his strength is the man who knows exactly what his life depends only on him. And envy reduces faith in yourself, so we must get rid of this feeling completely.
5. Identify your strengths.
Many of us don’t know our talents or know but ignore them. For example, you may have an aptitude for drawing, music or dance. So why not start developing it? It’s not a commitment to anything. But as you observe your own successes, you will realize that you are a talented person. This will greatly increase your confidence in yourself and allow you to become more successful in other areas as well.
6. Work on your body.
A slim and trim figure is not a pipe dream. Anyone without serious health limitations can make their body more beautiful. If you haven’t exercised before, you can noticeably transform your body in just 3-4 weeks. And when you see the first results of your work in the mirror, it will give additional motivation and significantly increase your self-esteem.
You may often hear the phrase: “Appearance is not important. But how to develop self-confidence in a person who is dissatisfied with his appearance? That’s right – to work on themselves and their athletic form.
Do not forget about the simple ways to make your figure more beautiful. For example, start to watch your posture. Keep your head straight and look forward. There’s no need to stick out your chest, just take a deep breath, straighten your shoulders, relax your shoulders and put them down loosely, remembering to keep your head straight. This way your posture will look beautiful and natural.
7. Use Affirmations
This is a well-known technique used by many psychotherapists. Affirmations allow us to control our attitude toward life and ourselves by literally reprogramming our perceptions and behavior. They are simple and unambiguous statements describing a desired mood, state of mind, or character trait.
You can make up your own affirmations to increase self-confidence or use ready-made ones, such as these:
- “I follow through on every task!”
- “I am in complete control of my life!”;
- “I know what I’m striving for, and I know how to achieve it!”;
- “I can get anything I want!”;
- “I am good at everything I take on!”
- “I am better today than I was yesterday!”
Keep in mind that affirmations should not be built on the phrases “I want” or “I am trying.” They should be confident and unambiguous statements, and then you’ll unconsciously perceive them as accomplished facts, recognizing that you have all these abilities and character traits.
8. Work on your image.
Have you ever thought about the way you look, how your friends and acquaintances perceive you, or the impression you make on strangers? Everyone should work on their appearance, even not very worried about what they think. Girls should know how to properly apply makeup and select accessories, and men – to dress stylishly and do not forget to use deodorant. Your level of self-confidence directly depends on how others perceive you. So try to look stylish and attractive at all times.
9. Don’t compare yourself to others.
There’s a famous principle: “The only person you should compare yourself to is you yesterday. Think about becoming at least a little better today. Exercise, improve, study – invest all your free time in yourself. And don’t compare your successes to someone else’s. If you don’t have a car or an apartment, and your friend does, don’t waste time and emotional energy worrying about it. Set a goal for yourself and work every day to achieve it.
10. Communicate more.
Relaxed socializing with others is a great way to boost your confidence. Try to expand your circle of acquaintances as much as possible and talk to people you don’t know very well. You will notice that everyone has his own complexes, fears and doubts. Being aware of this, it is much easier to take control of their own fears and complexes.
In general, communication is both the main tool for developing self-confidence and the main field for realizing one’s confidence. But if you are experiencing any difficulties in communicating and making contact with people right now, don’t worry. After all, communication is a skill that can and should be developed. And if you want to significantly improve your communication skills in a short period of time, learn how to build harmonious relationships – sign up for the online intensive “Effective Communication” from Wikium. This course will teach you:
- Manage your emotions
- Communicate more effectively with your environment
- Overcome difficult emotional situations
- Manage conflict
- Understand your partner’s feelings and thoughts on a deeper level
- Build a harmonious relationship
The author of the course – Oleg Kalinichev. Expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. PaulEkmanInternational accredited coach. Managing Director of PaulEkmanInternational in Russia (PEI Russia).
The online intensive “Effective Communication” will be especially useful:
- Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
- Those who work with clients, middle managers, freelancers.
- All those who are engaged in the upbringing of children.
- Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.
The training consists of 4 blocks:
- Emotions. The basics.
- Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
- Social effectiveness.
- Building harmonious relationships.
How the training:
- Watch video lectures.
- Doing homework to consolidate the material
- Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues
- Take a test on the studied material
- Finish the intensive and receive a certificate
The cost for independent passing – 990 rubles, with a mentor – 2,490 rubles. If within 7 days you decide the course is not suitable for you, you will get your money back.
Self-confidence – is the most important factor of personal and professional success. Only those who believe in their strength, can move forward confidently, without doubt and without looking back. If a person is characterized by self-doubt, he constantly misses opportunities and only watches as life with all its bright colors is passing by.
Fortunately, everyone can develop self-confidence. In this will help 10 tips, which we have reviewed today. The main thing – do not forget and do not ignore them. We will have to work on ourselves for a long time, but the first results can be felt in 2-3 weeks. It is important to move forward continuously, without stopping and without deviating from these rules not one step.