Cold-bloodedness and indifference. How to become cold-blooded and be indifferent
Equanimity is self-control, lack of fear, confidence in yourself and your actions; the ability not to panic in a tense situation and calmly analyze the causes of the problem, to find a way out of a difficult situation. A cold-blooded person is non-conflictual, he or she restrains his or her emotions and maintains self-control. This is a very valuable character trait, without which, at times, can not do in difficult situations.
Cold-bloodedness and indifference are special traits
Another similar quality is indifference. At a time when an emotional person is hysterical or depressed, indifferent person enjoys a carefree life and believes that it is not worth wasting feelings on mere trifles. And in this case, reason prevails over prejudice.
All of us sometimes face difficult situations for one reason or another, because of which we cannot always restrain ourselves. Even the calmest and most balanced person can bring down his temper. Therefore, it is important to know how to contain their emotions and be cool. Man is capable of experiencing feelings, both positive and negative. If good emotions bring us great joy, the negative in the same amount fills life with anxiety, fear and irritability. At times, they are impossible to cope with, they throw off the rut. And it’s worth thinking about how to avoid the consequences of all these negative feelings.
Fear is the most important reason for the lack of control over bad emotions. From a young age, this feeling lives in us, grows with us, develops. Sometimes it seems to us that it does not exist, but it is always there; it is in our mind, directs us, sends us signals (stimuli), and often instead of common sense the instinct of self-preservation is triggered in us. It is rooted in the nervous system and destroys it, the man becomes a victim of stress, nervous breakdowns and subsequently chronic diseases.
Cold-bloodedness and indifference are the enemies of fear, thanks to these qualities, a man rules over fear and controls feelings, which affects relations with others, the result of own undertakings, mood and harmony of the soul.
How to become cold-blooded?
There is certainly an answer to this question. To become cool-blooded, you need to use the advice of psychologists.
- Establish an internal balance;
- learn self-control;
- not to dramatize;
- distract yourself;
- be indifferent to the problem.
To establish inner equilibrium, one must withdraw from one’s fear; in this way, one can remain steady and come to an awareness of the problem. For example, if one forgets that there is a fear of some important event, then having calmed down, one can realize that the event is necessary, thus inevitable. You should watch your breathing, it should be even, it will give calmness. One must understand that problems are problems to be solved; as in school mathematics: by concentrating. Of course, it’s not easy, but that’s how you have to educate yourself to become cool-headed.
To be sustained, it is necessary to see the core of the problem, and to do this, one must shut out everything superfluous. Consciousness will be deprived of all interfering barriers, which will help to make the right decisions, understanding the problem from the depths. In this case, it is important to show such qualities as sympathy and mutual understanding, they are the main helpers, ready for long endurance in the most problematic situation.
To visualize is to imagine the most difficult circumstances in life as a web that needs to be untangled. Nervous, it will be difficult to do this, it will become even more tangled, and in a calm atmosphere the result will be quite different. Presenting the problem as a spider’s web, an understanding to calm down will come.
To become cold-blooded it is necessary to think over the situation, and not to worry. Rack it up, weigh all the “pros and cons”, and determine the decision. There is no need to rush and tell everyone what’s bothering you. It is better to be alone and think about the problem, because the first information may be wrong, especially on emotions.
It is not necessary to dramatize and inflate the problem. It is necessary to assess the situation soberly, to monitor your thoughts. They can lead you in the wrong direction. To avoid this happening, you have to make yourself think that the problems are trivial and that solving them will not be very difficult.
It is important to distract yourself from the problem. Watch your favorite comedy that can make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. This way will help to keep calm and relax.
How to be indifferent?
- Detach yourself from yourself.
- Change behavior.
It is necessary to detach yourself from yourself. Everyone has their own views on life, personal opinion, but in difficult moments it is better not to be yourself, and to witness the situation and look at it from the side, this will be the first step to indifference. You have to imagine that life is a movie, interesting, exciting, and you shouldn’t really live the plot of this movie. Better determine what genre the movie is in, the characters of the characters, the essence of what is happening, try to anticipate what will happen next. Thanks to this detachment, you won’t worry so much about yourself and accumulate internal anxiety, and see a way out of the situation.
It is important to control your behavior and body, because in the strong desire to become indifferent it is unlikely to work if you do not relax. Behave neutrally, do not waste unnecessary emotions, avoid provocations that may affect your emotions. Treat all people as if they were strangers. With family and friends talk as if you do not know them, this will certainly make you feel confident and decent, and speak with tact and ease.
Still, you have to stay open-minded and accept the situation, otherwise there is a risk of becoming a withdrawn and aloof pessimist. It is not difficult to be indifferent: carelessness, avoidance of problems, etc. The main thing is not to get carried away and know the measure of their feelings, including indifference.
As you can see, it is not so difficult to become cold-blooded. Be reasonable!
How to be an unfeeling, unemotional and cold-blooded person?
A great many people complain that excessive emotionality hinders them in life. Of course, this is not always the case, but it will be useful to learn to stop taking everything personally and to treat everything that happens in life more easily. And so let’s think today about how to learn to control your emotions and stay cool in difficult situations. Let’s also think about how to be unemotional in order to get what you want, how to come out victorious in evolutionary struggles, how to get rid of pity in order to successfully compete with other people in the world when you’re fighting for a job, a girlfriend or some other place under the sun. Thousands of “hows” require answers.
Options for relaxation
We all have those situations in our lives when we feel bad about ourselves or someone has hurt us and then we think about how to be a cool person so that we can get back at everyone and not be touched by disrespectful attitudes toward you.
When you’re feeling down or seriously stressed, you need to calm down first, and to do that you need quick options to relax.
An alternative to a walk can simply be a change of activity. For example, put on headphones and listen to music, or just sit in silence with your eyes closed. This will really help you calm down and distract yourself.
2. Get some exercise.
From walking about 10,000 steps to working out, every person absolutely needs to move. Every day. If you don’t, your health will suffer and pessimistic thoughts about life will catch up with you constantly. Instead of thinking about how to be an emotionless person and solidify yourself at the top of your firm, just start exercising three times a week and you’ll notice how all plans to become emotionless go away and your mood improves. Walking and sports aren’t the only things that heal, if you combine all that with admiring nature, you’ll feel even better. Be sure to try to find time for walks in nature.
3. music break
Listening to music is not just a pleasant pastime. Psychologists and sociologists claim that music can improve your mood and change it dramatically. Remember yourself how songs revive the memory of different moments. If you listen to cheerful songs more often, your mood will improve every day. So try turning on your favorite music the next time you feel like being an insensitive person and doing something bad to others. You’ll notice how your mood will improve.
4. Make someone else happy.
In order to be a winner in life, you don’t necessarily have to push everyone under you. Try the opposite, being kinder and it will make you feel better about yourself. You can start by helping out a coworker at work or holding a dog food drive and sending it to a dog shelter. Trust me, it’s a lot better than making silly plans to become an unemotional person.
The simplest examples of how to make someone feel good:
- Buying a delicious meal for a friend.
- Helping a relative with a child.
- Borrowing money in a difficult situation.
- Helping a neighbor clean up.
- A romantic evening with the girl you love.
- Donations to charity.
Having a heart-to-heart talk with someone who wants it, and so on.
5. Speaking of conversations.
It can be very helpful to talk to someone who wants support. And it’s good for you as well as for the person. Even chatting can change your anger into mercy. If you know, support is actually a very important item to achieve emotional well-being. If you never have anyone to support you and you can’t turn to friends and family for help, you’re going to get stressed and feel lonely too often. Consequently, you will be more likely to have thoughts about how to be an unemotional person so that you don’t feel this resentment toward society so acutely.
6. Plan something nice.
If you know how to plan your life, and think of a good future, it will be much easier for you to cope with difficulties or stress in the moment. Thinking of a positive outcome to some difficult situation can be a great help.
Let’s say you’ve tried all these ways and nothing works for you, and your desire for how to become an unemotional person has only increased. Okay, actually, being too emotional can get in the way of your life, and you’ll feel strong emotions instead of acting effectively. In some situations, this is more of a minus than a plus.
How to be an unfeeling, unemotional and cold-blooded person?
A few ways to help you become less emotional and more cold-blooded:
1. You need to learn how to breathe properly.
You may have noticed that when you get too nervous, crying, angry or whatever, you stop feeling yourself and your body. If you concentrate on your breathing, you’ll find yourself in the present moment. This is very important. It’s also helpful to breathe with a count of one-two-three-four and so on.
2. Learn from your experiences and don’t stop. If you’re constantly sitting around thinking about “what if I had done this, and why did I do this then,” and so on, your life will pass you by while you stupidly regret what you didn’t do or did. Needless to say, thinking about how to be an insensitive person is useless because it takes you away from the present moment. And it’s negative, and you need to focus on the positive.
4. stop being defensive. All these desires for emotionlessness can also come about because you’re just afraid of everything and you’re most afraid of the decisions in life. Stop trembling. Take action and don’t be afraid. This life is going to end anyway, why be afraid and then regret not doing something.
6. Give up programming your future and worrying about it.
If you’re terribly nervous because you think that other people want to get around you or betray you, then these fears are probably irrational and you need to understand that, and then just stop worrying. Yes, through sheer force of will. That’s possible.
Otherwise you can just go crazy, because at any moment something terrible can happen, and if you think about it, you’ll have a hard time living. You need to think about not how to be a cold-blooded person, but how to learn to accept uncertainty.
7. Learn to cope differently.
No, it doesn’t mean become a cold-blooded person, it means you need to learn to switch radically. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, you need to change activities drastically. Yes, this has already been written about above, but it’s so important that it needs to be mentioned again. Being cool is unlikely to help you solve the problem as opposed to changing your approach and attitude.
8. Write everything you feel.
Let it be your personal diary. Psychologists claim that keeping a diary can replace therapy in some cases. And it is really so, but on the condition of absolute frankness. Try to write there not only what happened during the day, but also everything that pissed you off, upset and surprised. And most importantly, write how you reacted to it, in detail. This will help with reflection and maybe you’ll stop thinking about how to be an insensitive person and start dealing with challenges more productively. Plus, if you write everything down, you’ll realize what of the things you’re doing are helping you and what’s only hurting you.
9. You definitely need to take control of your expectations.
That is, if you expect something bad from a movie, a meeting or a job interview, it’s likely to happen. Try not to think about anything in advance until the situation has completely passed. You’ll probably have a hard time at first, but it’s possible.
10. Change your schedule so that you’re less nervous and don’t think about becoming an insensitive person. For example, look at what makes you most nervous or frightened and try to change not only how you look at it, but also try to avoid those situations or somehow deal with your violent reaction to it. Let’s say you’re terribly nervous because you’re constantly late. What should be the solution? You should change your schedule so it doesn’t happen anymore. Then you won’t have to dream about being unemotional, you’ll just keep up and everything will be fine.
11- If there are people who piss you off or scare you, just stop talking to them, period. You don’t want people who don’t put you in anything. Control what you can control. And you have the power to control a lot of things in your life.
12. Stop being a perfectionist. These people very often dream of being a cold-hearted person because they can’t do something perfectly and somehow they don’t want to. Instead of daydreaming about equanimity and doing nothing when others beat you in an endless evolutionary race, just do what you can and be proud of what you’ve accomplished, even if it’s not perfect. And leave your emotions alone, you don’t need to be emotionless at all to be anything.
13. Realize that you’re always allowed to feel what you’re feeling and you don’t have to be embarrassed about it. If you think things are terrible or something pisses you off, try to stop yourself in that moment and realize that this situation may soon change. There’s no point in freaking out and being sad about something that might change very soon.
14. You don’t need to judge others, and you don’t need to judge at all. Chances are, your conclusions may be hasty because you don’t have enough information. Wait and find out everything in detail first. And while you’re doing that, be calm. Let’s say your girlfriend is late for a date, there’s no point in freaking out and no point in daydreaming about how to be a cold-blooded person. Just wait and don’t jump to any conclusions. Instead of blowing your brains out or daydreaming about being a cold-hearted person, get in her situation and try to make sense of the situation.
15. You don’t have to react with emotion to emotion. If someone is freaking out or yelling at you, don’t do the same, because otherwise you’ll both have a very hard time stopping. Try to just listen, without any evaluative judgments. If you try to get defensive when someone attacks, you’re likely to bump heads and both of you will regret it later.
16. Try to talk less and do more. You can talk all you want about how you want to be unemotional, cold-blooded, and so on. But what are you doing to do that? Just talking about it? If you have that goal, then follow all of these tips, and don’t forget about seeing a psychologist and taking a sedative. But understand the fact that being insensitive won’t save you, and it’s not the best solution to all your problems. Nothing will change from your wish alone. You’ll probably have to plow and plow and plow to change something about yourself.
Emotions don’t turn off at the snap of a finger, even if you want them to. Our brain and feelings are much more complicated than that.
You absolutely have to find the reason for these desires in yourself, and you can’t just do it. You live, you breathe, you respond to stimuli. You can deprive yourself of any feelings by either developing a habit, which usually takes months or even years to form. For example, pathologists are not particularly emotional doctors, and this is the cost of their profession, also surgeons do not come in horror at the sight of blood and look cold-blooded, and a psychiatrist is unlikely to start swearing and falling into hysterics with you like you if you are sick and aggressive. Either you need to clearly understand the mechanism by which emotions arise, catch it and calm yourself down on your own. Yes, that’s a lot harder, but what did you want?
Think about why in each particular case you’re freaking out, crying, or getting angry. What is arousing in you about a particular person or situation. What triggers you at certain times? Perhaps it makes sense to talk about an unclosed gestalt or internal blocks. This is all solvable and makes sense to discuss with a psychologist.
If you’re having problems in love and you’re constantly fighting with your girlfriend and she’s acting calm and detached in a conflict situation and you’re going crazy, then maybe you have a problem and not her, even though you might think otherwise.
If you’re going to blow your woman’s mind and she’s going to keep quiet about it, think about what it is that moves you so much? Why are you going crazy?
Yes, there are people who initially react very emotionally to everything, they are overly sensitive and vulnerable from childhood. As they say, we all come from childhood, and who knows what you had, that now you are nervous about everything and cannot pull yourself together in a responsible moment, and you just dream of some kind of emotionlessness. This also includes a fear of self-expression, low self-esteem, and a host of other problems and cognitive distortions.
When a situation arises in your life for which you find yourself emotionally unprepared, remember how a confident person behaves. It is proven that if you try to act like such a confident person, you will begin to become confident yourself. All you have to do is rewrite your habitual script, if you will — get out of your comfort zone. That’s a familiar expression, isn’t it? But have you ever tried it in your life?
Getting out of your comfort zone can make you panic, or even sleep-deprived, but it’s a good way to change your life and stop dreaming and start acting.
Ask yourself: “What do I want to be?” What will I accomplish in life if I become the cold, unemotional type? Maybe you just watched Dr. House or Sherlock and want to be like them. That’s not bad, but their awesomeness and uniqueness is not in how insensitive they are, but in how smart and irreplaceable they are. The more you know, the more you can afford. For example, allow yourself to also not need people like your favorite characters. When you dream about something, think about what exactly you want to get out of it. Special charm? Well if you’ll be stupid, arrogant, rude and antisocial man, it’s unlikely that someone wants to communicate with you, the girl you will not have, they do not like this, and at work to you will probably treat negatively, unless you’re super cool expert, without which the firm will simply go under.
In general, as you have already understood, you need to have a good understanding of exactly what you want. If you’re aware of it, you’re fine. If not, look for the real reason. And always remember to be as honest with yourself as possible.