How to become a strong person – tips from a psychologist
A strong person is a person with developed willpower, who knows how to overcome any troubles and undesirable circumstances. This is a person who is confident in himself and clearly knows what he wants from life. Like any person, he makes mistakes, gets tired, falls down. But the difference between a strong personality is that it rises again and again, does not give up. Let’s learn how to become a strong personality.
What is a strong personality
A strong personality is a person who is willing to solve his problems and overcome difficulties. He does not put the responsibility for his life on other people’s shoulders, does not blame other people and does not take the position of a victim. He is accustomed to action, not to sitting idly by.
What else distinguishes a strong person? The ability to maintain psychological and emotional stability in all situations, to make balanced and independent decisions.
Important! A person with a strong character becomes the master of his life. He rules it and fully controls it.
Characteristics of a psychologically strong person
The key characteristics of a person with a strong character:
-
;
- Independence;
- tenacity;
- determination;
- confidence;
- purposefulness;
- responsibility;
- organization;
- communication skills;
- reliability;
- psychological flexibility;
- creative abilities;
- self-discipline; ;
- benevolence.
A strong person is able to admit his or her mistakes, problems and failures, work on it and learn lessons. Such a person knows how to say “no,” assert personal boundaries, ask for help, and help others. A strong person does not go into self-digging and self-abuse, but he regularly turns to healthy self-analysis and continuously works on himself.
Recommendations for becoming a strong person
How to become a strong person, emotionally and psychologically strong and invulnerable person:
- Engage in self-reflection. Determine your desires, interests, abilities, needs. If you can’t answer, do some auxiliary tests. For example, use Eysenck and Jung’s test to determine temperament, multifactor questionnaire Kettel. And you can also use this technique. Make two lists: want and need. Pay particular attention to the second list, replace in it every “must” for “I want” and feel how it is reflected in your body and psyche. That way you will be able to understand what of what you are currently doing has been imposed on you by someone.
- Deal with your psychological problems. These are the ones that are weakening your faith in yourself and blocking your potential. Make a list of what you need to work with and move step by step through the list.
- Find your sources of strength. It’s important to understand not only what you can do, but also to find a hobby. If you don’t understand what you want, think back to your childhood dreams and interests. Perhaps the answer is there.
- Expand your comfort zone every day, that is, do something unusual or master something new.
- Determine your path, set goals and achieve them. Planning will help: make schedules and to-do lists, decide on a daily routine.
- Determine your system of values, beliefs, moral principles. Learn to always follow them. This is what fortitude is based on: never betraying yourself.
- Develop patience. Strong people know how to wait and slowly but surely move towards their goals. Start with sports – it’s great for developing willpower and patience.
- Work off negative emotions and develop a healthy positive attitude. This has nothing to do with believing in miracles. Positive thinking is the ability to see opportunities instead of obstacles, to find positives in everything, to never give up.
- Keep a personal journal. It can be a diary of accomplishments, working with habits or your qualities, getting rid of anxiety, etc. – whatever. Fix your growth, so that at any moment you can look at what path you have passed, assess the correctness of the chosen development strategy and, if necessary, correct it, gain motivation.
If you are working on habits or personal qualities, you can be guided by the following table:
Quality/ Habit. | What to do (point by point and small steps with specificity, i.e. with a time limit and units of success measurement) | Result |
---|
In addition, it is useful to study the life stories of famous people. By no means try to copy someone’s success story. However, you can copy the way of thinking and behavior. NLP even has this technique: a person begins to imitate someone or gets into a particular image and gradually merges with it. For example, an indecisive person imagines that he has a charismatic, cheerful, confident double. Entering this role, the man easily get acquainted with people, forget about their complexes. Gradually he himself becomes more confident, he no longer needs to play in the image.
A similar principle is applied to controlling the body. For example, if you slouch because of insecurity, begin to monitor your posture. Soon you will notice that with a straight back comes confidence and determination. You can program any state and any emotion in this way.
Important: Don’t expect instant changes. To become a strong person, you need to work on yourself for years and then maintain your strength for the rest of your life. Take small steps toward the image of your new self, mark each achievement.
My experience
Once upon a time I couldn’t stand up for myself, didn’t accept myself, didn’t know how to say “no” and was afraid to express my opinion. The best I could do was, even before I met a person, to push him away with my rudeness, aggressiveness and unpleasant appearance. That’s how my defense mechanism worked.
One day I decided that it was time to fight my problems instead of running away from them. I can no longer remember exactly when or how it started. But I remember exactly how my transformation from a victim to a strong person took place. It began with the fact that I made a portrait of the person I wanted to be. This concerned both my inner qualities and my appearance and behavior.
At the same time I made a list of things that I needed to get rid of and fight with: character traits, habits, beliefs and attitudes. My list included working through resentments and accepting the past, getting rid of complexes and accepting myself, and a complete change in my thinking. The hardest thing was to say goodbye to the idea of tolerating any discomfort, not dreaming and not wishing for more than I had.
Now I have managed to cope with many psychological problems and change my character. It got to the point where other people didn’t recognize me and talked about how much I had changed. But in my opinion, this is only the beginning of the journey. The new foundation of my personality I have laid, it remains to build a “house” and regularly maintain it in good condition.
Pay attention! It is not enough to become a person strong morally and psychologically. It is necessary to maintain this strength and constantly develop. One day of rest and “doing nothing” will not do any harm, but if you stop for at least a week, you will begin to degrade.
Conclusion
Now you know how to become a strong person man or woman. Remember that a strong person has adequate self-esteem, accepts, respects and appreciates himself. Strong personalities achieve success in life and self-actualization in different spheres. However, such people fall into a risk group for the development of neurosis. If a person takes on too much and forgets to rest, sooner or later he will have exhaustion. Yes, a strong personality has more internal resources than other people, but they still have a limit. And this means that you need to regularly replenish the resources spent.
How do you become a strong person?
Nurturing a strong personality requires serious work on oneself. A person who believes in his own strength, boldly moves toward achieving any goal. He is able to fully realize his potential in various spheres of life.
Characteristics of a strong personality
The psychology of a strong-willed individual is based on the ability to withstand any difficulties, the willingness to solve their problems, not shifting them to the shoulders of others. The strength of personality lies in the ability to withstand external or internal influences on the way to the implementation of their own plans and aspirations. A self-sufficient person is capable of making independent decisions and acting in any adverse environment.
A serious person does not waste personal time, is in control of his life, and overcomes all obstacles with dignity. Such an individual is respected by people, his opinion is taken into account.
To acquire inner strength it is necessary to fight any doubts. A strong person is distinguished by the following qualities:
- self-confidence;
- Independence;
- straightforwardness;
- strength of character;
- persistence;
- reliability;
- purposefulness;
- deliberation;
- control over one’s feelings;
- the ability to admit and correct one’s own mistakes;
- flexibility;
- charisma;
- ability to improvise.
Strengths also include the ability to seek advice and help from another subject. Self-sufficient people are able to assert their boundaries and say “no”.
A strong-willed person is not afraid of stumbling, does not engage in self-injury and self-injury. A strong person does not wait for the approval of others, because he does not doubt his own strength. The disadvantages include constant tension due to the control of any situations, the inability to relax and recover.
To become a serious independent personality, you need to develop the qualities inherent in a strong character.
- Good willpower helps a person calmly overcome internal obstacles to achieve the intended goal . Completing any task increases self-respect and self-control.
- Responsibility is one of the key qualities of a strong individual. Without it it is impossible to build a successful career and long-term partnerships, create strong bonds of friendship and a happy family home.
- Being organized is about following a set daily routine. It is necessary to plan the upcoming activities on a daily basis and not to deviate from your plan. Only in case of an emergency situation it is possible to correct the planned events.
- Communicability helps an individual to make interesting acquaintances, build a dialogue with any person, come out with dignity from a conflict situation that occurred and find a way to resolve any problem.
Effective techniques
Self-analysis helps a person identify his or her own preferences and desires. There are various personality tests that allow a person to understand themselves. With their help a person can get a lot of new information about his own person, find hidden creative potential, learn about their real abilities and tendencies. After passing the tests, you need to use the existing techniques for the transition from a weak nature to a strong personality. First of all, you must strengthen your inner strength. This represents the emotional, cognitive and physical resources of the individual. First you must listen to your body and imagination. Inner insecurity arises from the fear of not coping with a situation, of failing. Identifying your own fears, eradicating them, solving various problems, life perspectives give additional strength to a person, as well as confidence in the future.
To get rid of fears, you need to write down in a notebook your experiences in the opposite sense. The technique of this method is as follows: first you have to recognize and experience your own negative emotions, then transform them into positive statements, and only after that recorded in a notebook. Read the biographies of famous people who reached the top because of a strong character. It was the charisma and strength of character that allowed them to become famous. Carefully study their life path, pay attention to all the small details of the ascent to a high stage. The following exercise leads to a good result: make eye contact with any passerby, look him in the eyes as long as possible. You can try to talk on the street with a stranger. If you happen to be in line, strike up a conversation with people standing nearby.
Observe your gestures. You can use a mirror for this purpose. Smile at your reflection. Your face and body given to you by nature, so represent a special value. Only very strong people are able to realize this fact. They will not create artificial beauty, exhausting themselves with diets and torturing plastic surgery. The “Symbol of Victory” method promotes confidence in one’s own strength. First choose a pattern or geometric figure. Turn it into your symbol of victory over personal weak character traits. Keep this talisman always with you. Even a cursory glance at it will remind you of victory. Talisman of confidence in your own strength can be a certain smell of perfume or cologne, a specific accessory, piece of clothing, dress or costume.
There is another method that helps a person to become a strong person. It is designed for three weeks.
- During the first week it is recommended to write down in a notebook positive statements that evoke in you a pleasant feeling. After seven days, you have to read the whole list.
- All the next week, you should write down all the doubts you have about your own abilities. By the end of the week, analyze them, look for the reasons that provoked your indecision, identify the main fears and ways to eliminate them.
- The third week is given to overcome the uncertainty. For 7 days it is necessary to record in the notebook only the positive moments and selected ways to get rid of negative feelings and emotions.
For the development of self-confidence and inner strength, experts recommend making a table of 3 columns:
- the quality to be developed;
- what needs to be done;
- result.
This table should be constantly replenished with appropriate entries. For example, in the first column, enter the phrase “the ability to hold a punch. The second column will contain information on how, after another fall, to be able to get up. This information relates to a specific person and certain events that happened to him.
An example would be an unsuccessful presentation of economic theory in front of your classmates. It is necessary to set a goal, for example, to direct the efforts to master this science. Next you need to write down the step-by-step work in the same column.
After a certain period of time in the final column you can write: “I have mastered the main economic terms, studied the necessary topics. I feel confident in my abilities.
Gaining strength of mind
Strength of mind is determined by the inner core of the person. Spiritually strong person does not retreat from its moral and moral attitudes. He never allows the humiliation of others, knows how to forgive. Strength of spirit can be cultivated in yourself independently.
- First of all, you should adjust your thoughts to win. Experts recommend waking up with the phrase: “Today I feel much more confident and stronger than yesterday.
- It is necessary to learn to stand up for your own views. Blindly following the opinion of others indicates a lack of confidence in your own abilities. Learn to objectively assess the situation, express a personal point of view and stick to it. Do not give in to pressure from others.
- A self-sufficient person must properly formulate his thoughts and clearly convey them to the interlocutor. Speech must be intelligible and without stuttering. To attract others it is desirable to saturate it with life energy. It is important to take part in various discussions.
- Self-improvement allows the subject to accumulate a certain baggage of knowledge. It is necessary to devote more time to reading. It contributes to improving memory, developing imagination, modeling different situations and the ability to find the best solution to any problem.
- Adhere to a strict discipline. Make a daily routine for yourself. Control your thoughts and actions. Give up all bad habits, do sports, walk in the open air, visit museums and exhibitions, go to concerts and theaters. Make a schedule for your day, note important events and strive to fulfill your plans.
- Take all failures with dignity. Do not give up under any circumstances. Do not feel sorry for yourself, as self-pity is destructive to personal development. In case of failure you can go back to the starting point and try again to go to the right top.
- An important point is the full acceptance of himself as a person. It is necessary to adequately assess your positive and negative traits, work on yourself and develop good qualities.
- Do not try to shift the blame for your failures on others. Learn to take responsibility for your own actions. Try to find the reasons for the mistakes that happened and correct them. Do not blame others for the events that are happening in your life. For them only you are responsible. Make responsible decisions by yourself.
- You should listen to valid criticism, draw the appropriate conclusions and seek ways to correct their erroneous actions. If the criticism of strangers has no basis in fact, do not worry and get hung up on it. Control your emotions and do not stir up conflict with your opponent. He will not help.
- With people who are pulling you down, you should limit communication. And also exclude from your environment those who take up a lot of your time idle talk.
Fight your inner anger, fill your heart with kindness, and your mind with pure thoughts. Tell people the truth, avoid lies.