How to Stop Worrying: 10 Steps to Calmness
Worry is inherent to any person, but sometimes it manifests itself too often and begins to interfere with a comfortable and fulfilling life. If you find yourself in a similar situation and wonder how to stop worrying once and for all – then you’ve come to the right place. Today we will work through all the factors that provoke anxiety, and figure out how to get rid of them forever.
Of course, it is not easy to stop worrying and worrying completely. Even well aware that it interferes with plans, we often can’t stop wasting our energy on worrying. Allowing ourselves to worry, we get used to doing it in all circumstances. In doing so, worry interferes with work, creates discomfort, affects relationships with others, and in the long run can cause serious health problems. But if you put a little effort and work in this direction, you can get rid of anxiety once and for all. We’ll do it together, and the result will pleasantly surprise you. Well, are you ready? Then let’s start in order – with the basics, and then move on to specific techniques.
What is excitement?
Excitement is a defensive reaction to external stimuli, which allows to mobilize the internal energy. A person may worry for a variety of reasons, for example, before a public speaking or other event in which he is afraid to be substandard. Often the cause of unnecessary anxiety is shame or deception. Slight anxiety before an important event is a normal reaction for any person, and there is no pathology here.
But excessive worrying interferes with the adequate perception of reality, leads to unnecessary fuss and mistakes. They worsen the quality of life, quite often, because of the fear of being unsuccessful, a person loses an important chance to improve his or her personal life or to advance in his or her career. Many people, having been burned several times, prefer to “go with the flow” in order not to worry too much. Unfortunately, this approach to life forces you to ignore many promising opportunities.
The main causes of anxiety
Experiencing is always a consequence of certain irritating factors. Their significance may vary considerably, but we attach much more importance to some of them than we should. As a result, we cannot stop worrying and waste mental energy concentrating on meaningless stimuli. This makes us feel very uncomfortable and tires us out more than hard intellectual work.
There are several of the most common reasons for the experience:
- anxiety for the result and its quality;
- uncertainty in control of the situation;
- Feeling of a threat to one’s own well-being;
- overestimation of the significance of the forthcoming event.
We become anxious if the situation looks ambiguous, if we are afraid that we will not be able to achieve the desired result. Fear of failure is accompanied by additional anxiety about what others will think. It is impossible to avoid worry completely, so our reaction should always be adequate and should not turn into stress.
Why is it so hard to stop worrying?
When people find themselves in difficult situations that require urgent decisions, they make many mistakes due to excitement. They waste a lot of nerves and time, often not achieving the desired result. Everyone is peculiar to worry, and there is no person who can demonstrate iron restraint in any situation. But the ability to contain this feeling is different for everyone.
Some constantly torment themselves with anxious thoughts, others are prone to the oppressive expectation of unpleasant events, and others are not worried about external circumstances, but panicked about their own responsibility. At the same time, everyone would prefer to be in a calm state that allows you to make deliberate and balanced decisions, achieving the best possible result in all circumstances.
Excessive excitement almost always creates additional problems. Each of us understands this and dreams of learning to control emotions, not taking worrying events to heart. But no one wants to be callous and indifferent, because we are accustomed since childhood to the emotional response to any event.
We believe that only a “callous” person can remain cold-blooded in difficult situations. But a good person has to worry, his soul must “ache” for the people close to him. Another reason is that a simple volitional effort to stop worrying is impossible. Fortunately, there are many techniques to help significantly reduce worry, and in this article we will give some tips to help everyone.
How to stop worrying: 10 consecutive steps
There are quite a lot of ways to overcome anxiety, but each person is different, and must choose for himself what will suit him. In this article we have tried to select the most universal methods that are effective for everyone, and if you apply them together, they will give amazing results. So, ready? Then let’s begin.
Learn to recognize excitement
Despite the seeming banality, this tip is one of the most important. Sometimes all it takes is knowing that a senseless panic attack is brewing in time to prevent it. If you allow yourself to worry, anxiety will grow with every second. And once you realize the excitement, you can concentrate on finding the cause. Most likely, it will turn out that the cause is not worth serious stress. You can almost always get your own feelings under control by simply becoming aware of what particular event is causing the panic attack.
Be prepared for anything
Often the cause of nervousness is an internal feeling of unpreparedness. It seems that he is not good enough, he did not understand everything, did not study all the information, did not provide for all the possible risks. But procrastination usually does not increase the level of preparedness, but only makes us more nervous.
Be prepared for everything. Strive to anticipate possible stressors and don’t see them as failures. Calculate in advance how you will act if events do not go according to plan. Always think of several backup plans, providing for various mistakes and undesirable developments. Taking into account this simple principle, you can stop worrying at any time and save a lot of nerve cells.
Plan for the upcoming event, considering key points where deviations from the plan are possible. Consider what you will do in the event of an unfavorable outcome. It is necessary to allocate several main blocks and for each to provide for an adverse outcome. This will allow you to act with maximum efficiency, no matter how events develop.
Get rid of childhood complexes
Many of our complexes we owe to parents. Trying to instill in us such important qualities as responsibility and duty, they often make us worry and feel a strong sense of guilt for every mistake. Overcoming complexes developed in childhood is difficult, but possible. Start by following four simple rules:
- Stop blaming yourself for your mistakes;
- Do not attach importance to contrived problems;
- get rid of fears;
- Be yourself.
Constantly convince yourself of your own rightness and the correctness of your actions. Even if mistakes occur from time to time, their consequences are usually not that critical.
Focus on the present moment.
Sometimes the cause of unnecessary anxiety is a well-developed imagination, which gives birth to unexpected scenarios. Many people tend to get hung up on inventing negative scenarios. Often, they are based on unpleasant events from the past projected onto the current circumstances.
Constantly reconsidering one’s own actions, it is difficult to stop worrying, so such reflections are addictive. They require enormous thinking resources and drain all of our mental energy, depriving us of the ability to work productively. Learn to concentrate on the present moment, without tormenting yourself with unpleasant memories and without coming up with negative scenarios.
Don’t take excitement negatively
Small amounts of excitement are useful because they help the brain become more aware of the importance of what is happening. A mild experience helps the body to mobilize resources to act with maximum efficiency to achieve an important goal.
Therefore, having experienced excitement, do not immediately perceive it as an enemy. The main thing is to control your emotions without letting the experience turn into stress.
Learn to quickly eliminate or reduce anxiety
In Western psychotherapeutic practice, there is a popular technique involving the use of special “anchors. It allows you to stop worrying almost instantly and move to a peaceful state of mind. Any phenomenon can play the role of an “anchor”: a favorite song, a phrase or a specific tactile sensation. Experts often offer ready-made templates:
- A counting rhyme from 1 to 9 (it is possible to strengthen the effect by choosing a non-standard numerical segment);
- Deep breathing with a specific rhythm;
- listing names, surnames, or street names in a certain order.
By creating such an “anchor,” you can quickly take your attention away from disturbing things and switch to productive work.
Control the external manifestations of stress
When we’re worried, we involuntarily do certain things: fix our hair, scratch our nose, cough, rub our hands together or crunch our fingers. The external manifestations of stress are closely connected with internal feelings. Train yourself to keep an outward composure in all situations, and it will be much easier to stop worrying.
Take care of your nervous system
Stress is caused by both psychological and physiological factors. A proper diet will greatly improve the health of the nervous system, making it stable and resistant to stress. The benefits of a balanced diet are not a fiction of nutritionists. Proper nutrition can make almost anyone healthier. Try to eat a variety of foods, avoiding fast food, fatty and fried foods.
Make sure that in your diet constantly present such foods as:
- Sea fish and other seafood;
- Citrus fruits and bananas;
- berries (especially black berries);
- dairy products and beef;
- nuts and legumes.
Among vitamins, the most important for the brain and nervous system are B vitamins. But it is better to take a balanced vitamin and mineral complexes. If you have increased nervousness, you can drink in the evenings soothing teas with mint, lemon balm and special herbal gatherings.
Be confident in yourself
One of the main causes of anxiety is insecurity. Strive to be always confident in yourself, in your abilities, in your appearance and in the fact that you make a positive impression on others. Considerable progress in this direction will help the following simple steps:
- Exercise (a beautiful figure – the most important factor in self-confidence);
- Become really good at what you do (work, hobbies, general hobbies with friends);
- reconsider your own views on the reality around you;
- meditate (a well-developed meditation skill will allow you to quickly stop worrying in a difficult situation).
These habits will not only add to your self-confidence, but also help you succeed in the most important areas of life.
Get rid of the factors that cause nervousness
This method involves getting rid of habits that make people nervous. Without doing any good, they poison our life, taking a lot of strength and energy. Such habits include:
Many people believe that smoking helps to cope with stress. This is not true, because nicotine addiction makes a person more nervous, and a cigarette helps with this condition briefly.
Like cigarettes, alcohol has a temporary effect. Even if it helps to stop worrying for one evening, the subsequent recovery of the nervous system will take at least a week.
Such drugs can be taken only short-term courses by prescription. If you take them constantly, the cumulative effect will be the same as that of nicotine and alcohol.
Chronic sleep deprivation
In an effort to improve themselves, many people begin to save on sleep. At first it seems to them that they are very energetic and get a good night’s sleep for 5-6 hours. But the effect of “lack of sleep” accumulates slowly and has a devastating effect on health, so you need to sleep at least 7 hours daily.
Well, friends, here we’ve figured out all the basic steps that will help you stop worrying. Remember that they will benefit you only if you remember them, and apply them in practice. To consolidate the result, let’s analyze what harm can bring constant worry.
What harm does excitement do?
Unnecessary worries prevent a person from controlling his own behavior and have a negative impact on his health. Here are the most important negative consequences of worry:
- Decrease in intellectual abilities . The brain is the center of the nervous system, and it is it that takes the brunt of stress. Constant nervousness impairs memory and the ability to concentrate on the tasks at hand.
- Difficulties with self-control . A person who cannot contain his emotions creates a negative impression in professional activities and personal communication.
- “Blown Focus” . Nervousness weakens concentration. As a result, we focus on the little things, losing sight of the really important things.
- Chronic Fatigue . Constant worrying is more tiring than hard intellectual work. A person who is constantly worried about the little things loses the ability to work effectively.
- Bad habits . Nervous people are constantly looking for ways to distract themselves from unnecessary thoughts, resorting to the help of tobacco and alcohol. Sometimes it comes to more dangerous means.
- Real diseases . Constant stress can lead to serious health problems. It has a particularly strong effect on all kinds of inflammatory processes in the body.
Learning to control stress can significantly improve the quality of your own life. This will take time, but everyone is able to develop the ability to stop worrying at any time. Remember that the saying “All thoughts are material” did not appear for nothing. Learn how to think correctly, and the world around you immediately begins to change for the better.
How to cope with stress. Advice from a psychologist, neurologist and boxers
Stress is a feeling of depression and inability to cope with psychological and emotional pressure. More often than not, stress begins when we realize that we have no control over a situation. There are so many tasks, thoughts, and emotions that the nervous system and body can’t cope. A simple example: a person goes to a new job. There are unfamiliar people around, a lot of information and an impressive list of things to do. And if it is difficult to adapt to these changes, stress arises.
How easily a person can cope with it depends on genetics, health, lifestyle, economic and social factors. According to studies, people who lack money are more susceptible to stress. And those who practice meditation, more easily get rid of anxiety. To cope with anxiety helps support loved ones, sports and travel.
Bad Stress and Good Stress
Distress is a negative type of stress. It happens when a person cannot adapt to a particular life situation. It produces the hormone cortisol, which affects all body systems and can lead to weakness, insomnia, gastrointestinal problems and heart problems, for example.
Eustress is useful stress. It occurs when a person easily adapts to change. Eustress activates cognitive functions – helps one to make decisions faster, work more productively and find creative ideas. As a result, one doesn’t just adjust to unforeseen circumstances, but gains drive and satisfaction.
Imagine this situation: your work has offered you an urgent move to London. Distress will begin if tasks like finding an apartment, paperwork and adaptation in the new team seems complicated and meaningless. Or when you do not have a resource: you have not vacationed for a long time and you do not enjoy anything. Eustress will be if you perceive the move as an inspiring adventure. Yes, change is exciting. But they can awaken excitement and motivation in us to do our best, and even more, with drive and maximum impact.
When we talk about combating stress, we mean distress. The experts talk about how to resist it.
Anton Skobelev, psychologist
Determine whether you are distressed
Distress is indicated by such symptoms:
- restless sleep;
- muscle tremors (twitching eyes, cheek, corner of the mouth, trembling fingers);
- desire to be in an unconscious or trance state, watch TV for a long time or play a game console;
- a craving for sleep and the use of mind-altering substances such as alcohol
- dysfunction of various body systems: digestion difficulties, loss of appetite, increased irritability, headaches and sexual dysfunction;
- colds occur more often than once in six months.
If stress becomes chronic, a person loses the ability to admire, to feel and contemplate beauty. He wants to hide from people and the world, to retreat into his thoughts and experiences. This desire to withdraw is a defensive reaction of an exhausted person, who is trying to adapt to a large number of changes. But there are so many changes that it is impossible to cope with them.
Depending on the type of nervous system, reactions to stress vary. Some people destroy themselves, others – others, some people are running from the problems, and the fourth fret.
Learn anti-stress exercises
Take three slow, deep breaths and exhales. If you need to cheer up, inhale for six counts and exhale for three. If you need to relax and calm down, on the contrary: inhale for three counts, exhale for six counts. The ideal is to calm down first and then cheer up.
Massage your face and neck
From the nose down the cheeks to the ears, from the chin and ears to the interclavicular hollow. Massage the forehead along the brow from the center to the periphery. Do this for seven “soothing” breaths and exhales (three seconds – inhale, six seconds – exhale), then seven “invigorating” breaths (six seconds – inhale, three – exhale).
These two exercises will help to calm you down if you are worried, for example, about a public speaking or a deadline. Three minutes is usually enough to have the proper effect. But if it does not help, it is better to cancel the performance or postpone the deadline to get some sleep. Otherwise, there is a risk of not feeling well or getting sick.
Stress is less likely to occur if:
- Eating a full and proper diet;
- Sleeping between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. ensures optimal rest and production of hormones that keep the brain, heart and skin young and alert;
- Move regularly, walking and doing short functional training sessions for different muscle groups;
- make time for your favorite activities and walks in nature and outdoors, such as by the sea;
- Take at least 14 days off, twice a year, or better yet, more often;
- Be in the company of people who love you and love you;
- Practicing meditation is an effective way to reset and clear your mind of distracting thoughts.
Protect yourself from negative information
Most news channels retain an audience because they evoke strong emotions: surprise and shock, anxiety and fear, outrage and anger. And any strong emotion is always stressful. Over the past two years, the news of the coronavirus has given many people another source of anxiety. Many survivors report slower reactions, sluggish thinking, and changes in the emotional-volitional sphere. And while the effects of the coronavirus on the psyche and nervous system have yet to be studied (there is little data so far), the effects of bad news have long been studied. History knows of cases where hundreds and thousands of people suddenly felt sick, they had all the symptoms of the disease, and all they really got was mass hysteria. Exposure to stress seriously reduces immunity.
Suleiman and Artur Makhmudov, boxers, founders of the Brothers Boxing Club
As a result of regular boxing exercises aggressive and hot-tempered people become calmer, while apathetic people become full of vitality. Our training concept involves not only an even strain on all muscles of the body, but also getting rid of negative emotions, an incredible charge of energy and strength. And of course, boxing helps to get in shape and improve health. It positively affects your cardiovascular, muscular and nervous system. And as a result it makes you feel good and improve your mood.
Switch from your anxious thoughts
Boxing requires stamina and excellent coordination. You can’t train effectively if you’re thinking about extraneous things. There is a stereotype that boxers are fiery people. But that is not true. Boxers are smart and sensible guys who think strategically and stick to complex tactics. They are always focused and collected so they don’t miss a punch. We only allow partners to spar if we make sure they are ready to focus.
Control your emotions
Boxing teaches you not to give in to provocation and not to lose your temper. To perform the exercises correctly, it is important to concentrate only on the technique of execution. Thanks to this, regular training gradually reduces aggression, improves concentration and teaches a person to be on alert. So, if an unpleasant situation happens in life, a real fighter can resist panic or anger. He pulls himself together and quickly finds an effective solution.
Spend your time in a pleasant and useful way
Our clubs have the most comfortable environment. You can understand what we are talking about just by stopping by. At Brothers each client gets what they need, including emotional release, relaxation, pleasant conversation, and enjoyment of the atmosphere.
Ilmira Ibragimova, doctor-neurologist, massage therapist beauty salon “Milfey
The body is an emotion that needs to be heard and lived. If the emotional state is repeated regularly, certain motor and behavioral patterns are formed. Any emotion that didn’t come out will manifest itself in the area where the movement was stopped. For a variety of reasons, we are often in a state of frustration, which causes our diaphragm to clench and our shoulders and back to ache.
The Spanish massage helps in releasing these clamps. The technique is different in its gentleness and variety of techniques: if in an ordinary massage muscles are kneaded, causing discomfort and pain to the patient, the Spanish massage is a relaxation, taking into account the location of nerves, blood vessels and lymph nodes.
As Enrique Garcia, the founder of the Spanish massage technique, said: “There are four systems through which I can influence the human body: the joints, the muscles, the circulatory and lymphatic systems, the nervous system. It’s like four different doors leading into one house. I can go through any of them, using whatever technique suits me best at the moment.
There are also many other techniques: Thai, Japanese, sports, visceral, rolling massage, stone therapy, bamboo broom massage, neo-psychosomatics, perinatal psychology.