How to prevent infidelity and prevent the rupture of the relationship
Ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help get rid of problems once and for all? Then you might be interested in this article .
Each couple builds relationships guided by internal criteria, standards. They are established from an early age in the process of observing the behavior of parents, strangers or familiar men, women, characters from movies.
Stereotypes are formed wrong, incorrect, because of which there are problems in personal relationships. In quarrels, scandals, and cheating are both guilty. To prevent betrayal, it is necessary to make efforts to both partners. Specialists give recommendations that will help prevent infidelity, save the relationship, marriage.
Do not avoid problems.
In family life, problems periodically appear, and you need to know how to cope with them. Spouses who have learned to solve them together, keep the family, help each other with advice and action. Avoiding talking about problems is impossible, because such behavior leads to a dead end, spoils the relationship, provokes mistrust.
When there are problems of a sexual nature, something does not suit you, there is a desire to find understanding, comfort, satisfaction on the side. Feminine infidelity occurs because of the lack or lack of attention of the spouse, if a man can not give sexually what the lady desires. Treason for men occurs more often if the girl oppresses her husband morally, not satisfied physically, emotionally oppressive.
Ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help get rid of problems once and for all? Then you might be interested in this article .
nsk In order that it did not come to a divorce, kept the harmony of family, intimate life, you need to be able to talk, listen, support, change, compromise, adjust.
Men love eyes! Women evaluate a potential suitor by his appearance. The girl, in order to please the guy, makeup, gets the most beautiful outfit, tries in every possible way to attract, to be remembered, to seduce. The young man on a date to the desired person is going to no less seriously – polished shoes, expensive perfume, stylish hairstyle.
Careful preparatory process for the meetings continues until there is confidence in the relationship. The man has won the trophy, the woman has appropriated the winner. Since no effort is required, one can allow oneself to look less beautiful, dressed up, not always attractive.
Experts call such a revision of values and behavioral model the beginning of the collapse of the relationship and the first provocateur of adultery.
To prove favorite, chosen one, that the better partner you can not find, it is always necessary to look neat, clean, watch his figure, hairstyle. Attract attention to his person, to admire, enjoy, admire.
Add romance to the relationship
Sexual and intimate relationships should also know how to build. Sexual intercourse, which is perceived as a marital duty, does not bring satisfaction neither the husband nor his wife. The spouse should feel that she is wanted, not just used by the body to relieve stress, to meet physical needs.
A spouse needs reciprocation, he needs to feel like a conqueror, a superman, an ace at sex. When all these needs take a back seat, intimate relationships become routine, monotonous, do not bring pleasure, you need to think seriously about how to fix the situation. Otherwise, spouses seek bright feelings on the side, to cheat.
To keep the wife from cheating, to save the husband from transgression, you should think of romance, resume the former feelings, color the relationship. The classic romantic set – candles, flowers, chocolate, alcoholic beverages, a gift. Unforgettable sex is arranged in the bathroom, in the office, in the kitchen, in nature, in a body of water. More romance, attention and reasonable extreme – and experience treason will not have.
Spend time together.
Being constantly near and be together – different concepts. Not only the physical presence of a partner is required, but also the emotional presence. Do not necessarily get a job in the same organization, follow each other on the heels of, just more often to allocate time to the two.
Children can be left with a babysitter, grandmothers, godparents, or send them to kindergarten or school.
To be alone, talk about the worst, to remember the brightest moments of life together, to lie next to each other, to give each other affection, tender, unforgettable sex.
To be married or married not to feel lonely, you need to strengthen personal relationships, love and talk about it, take time for each other. A vacation together is ideal. Just a few days at a resort, where there are no pressing problems, work, responsibilities, and family life will again turn into a romantic relationship. Try to pay attention to each other, do not be indifferent.
Be in a state of dialogue
The ability to communicate is not naturally given to everyone. Some people are happy to share problems, while others prefer to keep everything to themselves. To be able to work together to solve problems, you need to be able to open up, to trust and listen. In the process of communication directs the interlocutor in the right direction, then learn the most intimate secrets that do not give rest, tormenting the soul, interfere with life.
When a person has spoken, and he was heard, there is an incredible sense of relief, freedom, peace. Against the backdrop of intense anxiety, sexual desire decreases, potency worsens, sex does not bring pleasure. A partner who doesn’t know the truth becomes fearful, suspicious, and distrustful.
More than 9,000 people got rid of their psychological problems with this technique.
In order not to have to prove the absence of a mistress, lover, you need to be patient, respectful, find an approach, provoke the other half to a frank conversation. You should not reproach, shout, throw a tantrum, because all problems are solved in a calm atmosphere. Blaming what does not exist is unwise. After the conversation will become clear pattern of behavior of the other half, which led to doubts about fidelity.
The statistics of adultery in Russia is surprising and shocking. Our country leads the world in the number of divorces. 90% of young families fall apart in the first years of life together. One of the reasons is adultery. According to statistics, 75% of married men cheat on their wives, and 25% of women find lovers.
Specialists are trying to explain what happens to the former loyalty, why the values of marriage change. Unfavorable factors are called: insecurity, dissatisfaction in sex, revenge, the influence of others, prolonged separation, fading feelings.
Create common interests
After you get married, you have to have a baby within 1-2 years. This is a typical family model in our society. It was formed a long time ago, and it is inexpedient to change it. A child makes a man and a woman into one unit. The man is the father, the woman is the mother, and the common interest is to raise, develop and provide for the child.
If there is no child, you have to look for something else to unite.
This can be a joint business, a common hobby, a pet. If the spouses are completely different, married quickly and spontaneously, it will be difficult to build a future relationship. Marriages without a common interest end in divorce within the first 3 years. Spouses are doomed to adultery.
Fear of the collapse of the family will not have to, if you enter into marriage consciously. Even in the early days of dating to find out what your partner likes, what his values, what he dreams, what he wants to achieve. If the priorities, desires, aspirations converge – you can build a strong relationship.
In a marriage joint interests should be able to support. With age preferences change, if the other half can not accept them, treason can occur. If there are no common interests, everyone lives on their own, the kind of life in which there is a place for lovers and lovers.
Diversify your sex life
Full-fledged intercourse ends the highest degree of pleasure – orgasm. But if intimacy is constantly happening in the same environment, all the movements predictable, vivid sensations do not appear, no orgasm or he weak, a sense of satisfaction does not come. Such a situation does not mean that love has ended, past feelings have passed, or someone has found a replacement. You need a shake-up, variety, change of scenery.
How to diversify sex life, you can think together, taking time for a frank conversation, or make a surprise. Sometimes it is enough just before intercourse to visit a restaurant, go to visit friends, watch an erotic movie. In sexual games enhance the excitement of ice cubes, honey, ice cream, splashes of champagne, blindfold, tape to bind the hands, etc. When intimate life is vibrant, rich, emotional, it is much less likely that the spouses will cheat.
Trust your partner.
To keep a strong family, to prevent treason, to control every step of the other half is not required. With excessive control there is a feeling of prison, from which you want to get out, to feel a breath of fresh air.
Gift of freedom can be a lover, mistress, who do not require anything but affection, tenderness, sexual gratification.
Unencumbered relationship inspires, make the exploits, go where you feel uncomfortable. If there is a strong desire to change, the occasion, the place and another willing person will definitely be found.
For the family to be strong, the relationship full, you need to be able to trust each other. Under such conditions, distance only rekindles feelings, long business trips enhance sexual desire, corporate parties, where colleagues in some way worse than a spouse, increase self-esteem. Learn to love yourself, recognize and highlight your strengths. Distrust, unwarranted suspicion is a sign of low self-esteem.
Simple steps that will teach trust: let go of fear, do not have vain illusions, not to make a victim of themselves, to give the opportunity to choose.
Learn to intrigue
When everything in a relationship is calm, smooth and quiet, the routine begins to bore you. You want a shake-up, new sensations, increased emotional tension, adrenaline. Sexual life ceases to satisfy, your wife, husband does not excite you as you would like, life loses its meaning. There is a desire to find a mistress, a lover.
To maintain the intrigue in the relationship, it is recommended to periodically cause jealousy, to increase their value in the eyes of the other half. It is important not to go overboard, otherwise innocent efforts will turn into a grand scandal and accusations of treason. Women can flirt a little with a man who showed signs of attention to her husband. Spouse will make his wife jealous if he responds to a compliment of another woman or casually emphasize her virtues.
The right actions after a betrayal
How to survive betrayal, there are several options – to forget, forgive or break up. Different factors influence the decision. Forgiveness is worthwhile only when it makes sense. Often the wife is guilty of adultery of her husband, and the wife thinks about the adventures on the side of the insufficient attention of the betrothed. The right way to resolve the relationship, to find the right solution – to sit down at the negotiating table.
If you do not want to give up and are ready to really, not in words, to fight for their full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
Discuss the problem should be in a calm atmosphere. If the pain won’t let go, you should ask for time to reflect, to be alone with yourself for a while. You should not play alone for too long, because in an unstable emotional state bad thoughts, doubts, obsessions arise. A couple of days will be enough for reflection, after which they try to resume communication. At first you will have to squeeze out the words, but if the partner is interested in saving the marriage, he should show patience, persistence, understanding and attention.
Infidelity – the main signs
The behavior of a man, a woman after an infidelity depends on the reasons for which it occurred. If the marriage gave a crack, love has passed, there is no understanding, a mistress or a lover will further alienate the family. Scandals, quarrels become more frequent, there are chronic delays from work, long business trips, interest in sex is lost, the partner is very annoying.
The spouse changes before your eyes. He or she tries to look better, look stylish, dress sexy, use perfume more often, hide the phone, put passwords on the programs. Being at home, goes to bed early, complains of headaches, fatigue. There is a lack of interest in everyday problems, family obligations.
If the adultery happened spontaneously, the “offender” repents of what he did, the behavior is different.
- Increased attention;
- excessive tenderness in sex;
- a guilty look;
Signs of feminine infidelity are identical. Spouse cooks delicious breakfast, lunch and dinner, gives attention, offers massage, shows tenderness in sex.
Clear signs of adultery – someone else’s hair on her clothes, minor bruises on the body, foreign smell, prolonged absence of sex for no apparent reason, sexual infections.
To avoid having to face adultery, it is necessary to:
- Marry, marry consciously;
- To love, respect your partner;
- value the relationship;
- have common goals;
- to show understanding;
- maintain sexual attraction;
- spend time together.
Myths about male infidelity are made up by women. Women are labeled by men. With the right views on family life there is no problem with betrayal. Those who have faced treason will help to overcome the trauma mental strength, sober mind, emotional stability.
How to avoid cheating on your husband
It is impossible to sit quietly and watch as the husband gradually flows to another woman. It drives you crazy. It is unclear from whom to ask for advice – everyone speaks differently and gives his personal experience as an argument. The Internet also gives out a thousand fantastic in its polarity of advice. Where is the solution?
To induce a man to cheat, all you have to do is marry him.
“It will happen soon. Or it’s already happened…” Thoughts of her husband’s possible adultery have settled in her head since some time and there made a revolution, gaining absolute power, in response to the strange behavior of her spouse, who suddenly got into feelings for a classmate who suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
“You see, she bought a bed that’s been standing unassembled for two weeks because she lives alone and there’s no one to put it together. Well, after all, we were sitting at the same desk, we should help the person,” he says with the nonchalant look of a good samaritan.
“Are you going to help test the bed, too?” – I want to sneer in response, but the mind muffled by jealousy still bursts into consciousness and begs not to push her husband into the arms of a rival. “Unless, of course, he has already been there,” objected the anxious heart. – It’s only a matter of time, I sense.” Judging by the fact that the bed was followed by a leaky faucet and then a blown light bulb, my heart tells me for a reason.
And then comes the agonizing dilemma: which strategy to choose? Strongly want to make a scandal by all the canons of the crisis of family life to remind him of his legal position and vow of fidelity. On the other hand, maybe he is just waiting for that, and a fight will finally allow him to make a deal with his conscience, which was the last obstacle to treason.
But it’s also impossible to sit still and watch your husband gradually move on to another woman. It’s maddening. It’s not clear who to ask for advice from – everyone says different things and cites their personal experiences as an argument. The Internet also gives out a thousand fantastic in its polarity of advice. Where is the solution?
Find and Disarm.
“Old as the world!” – some will say. “All families go through this sooner or later!” – others will say. And you can agree with them, because the situation is quite common. The only thing is that there is no single correct solution. Someone prefers not to notice her husband’s hobbies, someone gets a divorce, and someone takes active steps to return to the prodigal husband.
We propose to go beyond the stereotypical thinking and, first, to understand the reasons for the behavior of your favorite man in a similar situation. Deal with this difficult task will help training “System-vector psychology” Jury Burlan. Its goal – to learn to understand yourself and others to such an extent that any actions and even their motives cease to be a subject of speculation and fantasy.
Monogamy should be monogamous.
By nature man is monogamous, with few exceptions. This means that it is monogamous relationships that can give us the most pleasure. So why do some people still have the urge to turn left? Systemic-vector psychology helps to find out the reasons and, therefore, to find out how to counteract this affliction.
From school curriculum we remember that a vector is a directional segment of a straight line. In “System-Vector Psychology” by Yuri Burlan, a vector is a “segment” of the mental, aimed at the satisfaction of certain desires.
So, for example, for the skin vector the main desire is to achieve material and social success, which fills its owner with the meaning of life. The possessor of cutaneous vector also has a very plastic psyche, capable to adapt any changes, and the novelty factor gives him vivacity and motivates to action.
Stagnation and routine in the professional sphere, on the contrary, leads to dissatisfaction, and if it is impossible to achieve changes in work, then this desire will spill over into his personal life. In other words, he will cheat when he is in a family situation, or change partners like gloves if he is single.
In the anal vector it is quite the opposite: men are happy in constancy and predictability. The family is more important to them than the material aspect, which makes them reliable and caring husbands. Loyalty to the beloved woman is a matter of principle for them, and for their part they respond in the same way. It is impossible to imagine an anal vector possessor who is cheating, but it happens. What are these cases?
The road is like a memory
An excellent memory is another strong quality of a person with an anal vector, given to him by nature. Therefore, to miss the past, to cherish memories, to be nostalgic is their hallmark. Let’s say he met a classmate. She will be the embodiment of those carefree teenage years, when the sky was blue and the grass was greener. Add to this her request to help in what any possessor of an anal vector knows a lot – and he is ready to take his skills of a strong steward outside the house. After all, he has no equal in what works properly, hangs straight and lies in its place.
But it’s also unlikely to be enough to cheat. Unless he has a visual vector that can turn a stern man into a sensitive and emotional gentleman. The spectator’s desire is to love and create an emotional connection with the object of love. All the moonlight sighs, half-whispered revelations and meaningful gazing into their eyes are strictly for them.
As a result, the appearance of a friend of the distant bright days, plus conversations in the kitchen on the theme of “Do you remember. ” over a mug of tea after you assemble the closet or fix the faucet – and a high probability of serious infatuation is assured. And if she was his first teenage crush, and at home you have long cooled down – no heart-to-heart talk and displays of affection, then the chances of infidelity increase dramatically.
It turns out that the suspicions are far from unfounded and have a basis, but is it easier? Is it all gone, and nothing can be changed?
To return beyond the point of no return
The System Vector Psychology training shows that it is never too late to change anything. No, we are not going to suggest that you immediately write love text messages to your husband or cook dinner in your underwear and with your hair done-let’s leave this to the women’s magazines.
But understanding the situation and the mechanism of its origin has at least reduced the degree of tension in your soul, and knowledge of the vector features of her husband will tell you how to act further. The next step will be to strengthen the trust and emotional connection in your couple – the basis which makes the union of two people long-lasting and is the best guarantee of fidelity of the spouse.
It’s that state when you know for sure that you can be open and frank with your spouse like you can’t be with anyone else. It is that special trust that allows you to tell each other things that sometimes you cannot admit even to yourself. It is that connection when you look forward to the evening to share your impressions of your day with them. It’s that special intimacy when everything that happens between two people is not taken out into the world, is not told to girlfriends, mothers, fellow travelers. It’s that sensuality that makes just a beautiful and desirable woman into a one-and-only woman. That thread that from “just me” and “just HE” makes “one WE”.
All about the emotional connection, how to fix it, what pitfalls must be removed from the path of fixing relationships, revealed in the training Yuri Burlan.
Of course, it is better not to bring difficulties in relationships, as in everything, to unpleasant consequences with which one has to fight, but it is better to deal with the prevention of the causes. But it does not always work out as we would like it to. Nevertheless, feedback from those who took the training proves that it is possible to breathe life into relationships, even when, it would seem, there is no chance:
“When I came to the training, I was convinced that there was no way to save our relationship. And somewhere I was right. It turned out that I did not want to save what we had before the training. Now with my husband a new relationship is taking shape. At a completely different level! And this is after twenty years of living together, which led to complete misunderstanding, resentment.
It came to the realization that all my tantrums, manipulation and distrust in relationships are due to the generalization of the first experience of a failed relationship. Also, by understanding the nature of my young man’s psyche, my jealousy was completely gone, and the fear that he would leave me was gone. I began to open up to him sensually, and in return I began to receive feelings many times over. Every day my trust in him is growing more and more.”
“AND MY WILD JEALOUSY OF MY HUSBAND IS GONE! AND INSTEAD OF DIVORCE – A HONEYMOON – TWO THREE ALREADY – AFTER THE FREE TRAINING. “
All methods are good if they are systematic
If your husband has an anal vector, you might decide to get the kids together at some meaningful place for your family or at home with a delicious home-cooked meal where he will remember what a great family you have. On the role of women in relationships and the joint table in our lives, Yuri Burlan reveals incredible things at the training!
If the husband is a possessor of the skin vector, a change of scenery will be a good help in restoring former feelings. Spend the weekend in a different, unaccustomed way, go together to a new, unexplored place, and you – take and dramatically change the hair style and hair color.
Would you say you’ve seen this kind of advice more than once? Yes, but the point is that if you choose the first option for a spouse who has a skin vector, the venture will prove empty. Just as a change of scenery will only drive the husband with an anal vector into stress. That is why it is so important to distinguish people by vectors and interact with them according to their desires.
Of course, these examples are simplified and schematic. In life everything is more complicated, if only because modern people are multivector, and in combinations vectors can manifest differently and the reasons are often complex. But not a single nuance, not a single question remains uncovered at the training. And in order that you can get acquainted with the basic concepts of “System-vector psychology,” a free introductory online training. Come for a new understanding of relationships!