How to interest a man psychological techniques – an instruction manual
In this article “How to interest a man psychological techniques” I will tell you how to communicate with men, how to interest them, and you will learn how the male brain assesses the attractiveness of the girl.
Read this article to the end and you will know how to create a correct image in the head of the man, when a man should be ignored, as well as I will share with you the basic rules of effective communication by correspondence.
How to interest a man – psychological techniques
To begin with, let’s understand how the male brain works, and how gray matter determines the attractiveness of women.
It is important to know a few facts:
1) Interest, as well as falling in love, occurs due to the right image in the mind of a man. We do not fall in love with a man, but with the image that we have drawn in our head.
2) You can draw the image in a man’s mind which is to your advantage.
To draw your correct image in the head of a man, you need to figure out what makes you look good, and what will undermine your attractiveness.
A popular women’s mistake! Have you ever heard from women the phrase: “All men are the same, they’re all jerks” or “What men have gone completely stopped giving flowers”. If you say that out loud in front of a man – it’s death to your attractiveness in his eyes. Such words in the head men drawn an image of a girl unclaimed, for which no one looks after and does not give flowers. (Example of the wrong image )
Above you see my correspondence with the girl. After a compliment, she wrote a message that makes her look bad. The immediate question is, “What exactly is wrong with her, since men are only interested in her for the money?” She has directed my thoughts in a way that is disadvantageous to her!
We have already figured out what is the wrong image in the head of a man, now let’s talk more about the effective image that we need to draw.
What is the image of an attractive woman composed of?
1)The success of other men.
If a man sees that you like other members of the stronger sex, he turns on the instinct of competition and you become more desirable to him. The second plus is that he begins to look at the positive aspects of you and seeks an answer to the question, “Why is she so popular with men?” His brain is already working in the right direction for you, he is looking for an explanation for your attractiveness and is sure to find one.
Your task is to make a man remember you, find something in you that is not present in other girls. You need to cause him emotions. And what do people have emotions? – A non-standard situation, an answer, a behavior, in general, everything that a person does not expect to hear, see, feel.
Even to the trivial questions can give an unusual response that a man does not expect to hear. For example: What are you passionate about? – The three-dimensional manifold of the homeomorphic sphere in higher algebra.
The man doesn’t expect to hear that answer, so imagine he meets three different girls, two of whom are into drawing and singing. And one of them is “The Three-Dimensional Variety of the Homeomorphic Sphere.” Who will he remember more?
Of course, you don’t have to lie and say things that are far away from you, but the main thing is that you understand the point – uniqueness and uncommonness cling to a man’s consciousness.
Your task is not to deceive a man, but to find in yourself unusual qualities, hobbies, character traits and put them in the right light.
3) “Effective Behavior”.
In order to be a prize for a man and interact with him effectively you need to learn about the pros and cons system:
When a man does the right thing for you (gives you a gift, gives you a ride, gives you a cool date), you give him a PLUS.
A plus can be anything: a kiss on the cheek, a compliment, a smile, etc. Basically anything that encourages his actions.
If a man is behaving badly, for example broken promises, we give him a MINUS.
The strongest MINUS – is ignoring, but it works only if you have a man of some value. Otherwise, ignoring will not achieve anything. Your coldness, disapproving glance, etc. can be a minus. In general, the man should associate his wrong action with negative consequences.
If you will be away from a man in case of his wrong actions, and get closer in response to a pleasant action, then you will always get from a man what you want!
Below I will go into more detail about popular mistakes in using the Plus and Minus system
4)Being available to him, not being available to others.
Men don’t like women who are available to everyone, they like those who are only available to them!
A man’s brain is designed so that he avoids contact with a woman who seems above his level. That is why there are so many single beautiful women and so many married gray mice.
Beautiful girls are feared, people meet them less often, and then men don’t notice them at all – this is a protective reaction of the psyche. I have seen it many times with my friends, when they choose girls who are not ideal in appearance, and beautiful girls as if they did not notice.
My friends didn’t approach the pretty ones because they were afraid of rejection, of disapproval, of not being accepted. It’s a potential blow to a man’s ego. Few women know this, but dating a beautiful girl is one of a man’s greatest fears.
That’s why your job is to show a man that you are attracted to him and that you are ready to mingle. This will free him from his fears and the man will start to act. In doing so, he must be sure to think that only with him you are so openly communicating.
How do you show a man your openness to communicate?
If a man looks at you – give him a smile and fix his eyes, so he will understand that you can act. In female pickup there is even such a technique called “sticky look”, which provokes men to get acquainted, I will talk about it in the following articles.
Another way to show a man his affection is to be the first to make contact with him, but to do it very skillfully, you should not be the first to get acquainted with a man, your task is to provoke him to get acquainted.
To get acquainted with a man, you can use any resource at hand, even your own bag. Example: “Man, help me, hold my bag can not find the discount card” Here you have already started the communication, and then it’s a matter of technique.
In the following articles I will share with you how to effectively meet men.
There is a law of communication and it sounds like this: emotions are transmitted. If you have a positive attitude, your state of mind will be transmitted to others and they will be drawn to you. If you feel negative emotions, others will avoid communicating with you.
I have many times convinced of this in my experience, when I experienced a rush of positive emotions and high from the date and communication, the meeting turned out to be delightful and the girl remembered it for a long time.
The main secret to positivity is to do everything to your satisfaction, and don’t do anything you don’t like. Here is such a simple recipe.
Another important quality of an attractive woman – is non-conflict.
Non-conflict girl – this is not a battered personality who is afraid to defend his opinion. This is a person who knows how to communicate with people, find common language and interact with others.
In my life I have met conflictual girls and it looked just terrible, so if a girl growls at everyone around and tries to dominate, then all the men will run away from her.
But a diplomatic woman will always have an advantage, not only with the male sex, but in life in general.
How to ignore a man in order to interest him
Ignoring is a very powerful weapon that you need to know how to use. Let’s start with the basics: 1) We don’t ignore a man if he’s doing what we want (or what we like), otherwise he’ll stop doing it. 2)Ignoring works only when you are already of value to the person.
Let’s look more closely at the first point. Many girls make the mistake – they begin to ignore a man at a time when he has committed a positive action.
For example, you had a fight with a man, and he came to make up and gave you a bouquet, but then you include ignoring.
When a man gives you flowers, and in response receives a cold attitude, then his brain will associate ignoring not with the past scandal, but with the gift bouquet. Regardless of your attitude to the conflict for a bouquet of flowers you have to thank him. And after some time to begin to deal with the problem.
The most appropriate time to ignore – is when the man does not do what you need. For example a man begins to yell at you, in the beginning you need to tell him not to do so (we say in a calm tone), but if words do not help, then we begin to ignore him and include a cold attitude.
And his brain notices the following association – I shout and in response to shout I get ignoring. The desire to raise his voice will be eliminated. And if the man at this stage does not understand, you need to think about whether the game is worth it.
Conclusion: You can’t use ignoring when a man likes you. There are more interesting tools for this, which you can also find out about on my site. You ignore a man only when he behaves inappropriately to you. For the right behavior you are on the contrary encourage.
How to interest a man by correspondence – psychological techniques
Now you learn the basic principles for effective correspondence with men.
And they are as follows:
1)Write messages shorter than his.
Very often it happens that you write a girl a text message, and in response you get a poem, this demonstrates her increased interest, which kills intrigue.
Above you see an example of my correspondence with a girl on Facebook, when I recorded a voice message for 5 seconds, and in response I received 6 messages and two questions in a row. This immediately lowers her value in my eyes. Especially the last message creates in my head the idea that I can only communicate with her out of boredom, because she herself gave me the idea to think about it.
And now you see a correspondence where the girl is perfectly in the proportion of messages and maintains her value.
2)Don’t reply to messages right away.
The exception is when you’re texting online and the man also responds to your messages immediately. If you are waiting for a message from him for 10 minutes, your reply should be in 20 minutes. When you have to wait longer for a reply message, it becomes more valuable.
Read on the same topic: Best topics to talk about with a guy by correspondence (Opens in a new tab)
3)Talk about him.
A man is not interested in stories about going to stores and nail salons. It’s a big mistake for women to tell such stories in all colors. The best thing a woman can talk to a man about is the man himself.
We humans are so built that we are interested in talking about our loved ones. A man will get hooked on talking to you like a drug if you talk about his hobbies, dreams, plans and goals. The more he opens up to you, the better. But keep a balance, and don’t turn the dialogue into an interrogation or an interview.
Don’t talk about your bad mood or how you feel. You’re always cool and positive. Otherwise you lower your status in his eyes. Men as well as women like to communicate with positive and healthy members of the opposite sex.
Above you see a correspondence with a girl, after which I immediately lost interest. She is in a bad mood and for some reason was disappointed in the man. She painted the image of a boring and disappointed girl who has something going wrong in her life.
Important! If you want to attract men, then never write that there is something wrong in your life. Everything is always great with you, and people around you love you (especially men).
- Write shorter messages than he does, let the man be invested.
- Don’t respond to messages right away, make him wait, but don’t go overboard.
- Keep your correspondence primarily about him, and he will open up and become more invested.
- Be positive and don’t complain about life.
I think the question of how to interest a man, as well as what are the psychological techniques of falling in love with you and I closed. Now you know what is the image of an attractive woman, in what situations a man should be ignored, and when, on the contrary, to encourage. Also, you own the basic principles of effective correspondence with the stronger sex. In more detail I will disclose the topic of online communication in the following articles.
If this article was useful for you – share it on social networks. Also if you have any questions – write them in comments.
How to easily and simply fall in love with a guy: cope with anything
When much you love – want reciprocity! For a man to dream that eyes shone with happiness at the sight of you, to think about you, waking up in the morning and falling asleep in the evening.
reciprocal feelings – what could be better. How to achieve them in the short term? Of course, the strong sex is all different, prefer different things, but there are some more or less common points.
Read on to find out what the points are, but apply with caution: feelings and relationships are too individual to just pick up and spell out a manual. It’s a creative process that you’ll have to delve into.
Long eye contact.
A simple psychological trick: look at him carefully: in his eyes, on his face, so he can see the interest. Do not forget to blink (not on purpose, but in general), otherwise it looks strange.
Feeling sincere interest, the man often wants to make a greater impression and “falls” because he feels that he is a hero, a knight (as in a good old movie).
Open body language
“I am deeply interested in you, please continue, you are so smart and interesting, I feel good with you.” Open body language is when you show interest through gestures, facial expressions, body position in space.
It’s simple: do not keep your legs and arms crossed, turn to him with your body, knees, toes of shoes, slightly incline your head sideways, do not cross your arms on your chest, do not interlock your fingers in a lock, use rounded (not angular) gestures.
By the way, the technique doesn’t just work in relationships. By using open body language, you seem more attractive in friendly interactions, business interactions, and work interactions as well. 98% of people prefer to be interested in them.
Listen, and do it carefully. It will help. Nod, smile, ask questions on the subject, express emotional empathy – you probably already know this 98% of the time, just now you know it also helps him fall in love.
And make him laugh. It’s scientifically proven that people who we laugh a lot around begin to experience increased affection and sympathy. It works at the level of hormones.
Roughly speaking: when a person laughs, the brain produces hormones of joy and satisfaction. And if he laughs next to someone else, he remembers: aha, this is the person we feel good with, we need to be with him more often and closer.
Plus, by laughing at his jokes, you raise his self-esteem, which is + to the bottom line.
Give him a reason to admire you. If men do it all the time, why not do you? If you’re a great cook – treat him to a fancy meal. Great dancer – invite him to watch. You’re good at something – show it off.
An important point: it’s not a competition. It’s “You’re awesome – I’m awesome, too, and together we’re awesome, aren’t we awesome?” If he starts competing with you – stop it right away and let him know it wasn’t part of the plan.
It is the way of the society that “girls and boys” spend most of their time apart, especially in childhood and adolescence (the former play with the former, the latter with the latter), and only during puberty do they start to get in touch.
This contributes to gender stereotypes: “female logic”, “they are only interested in makeup and shopping” and other nonsense. And girls, striving to be perfect, sometimes support these stereotypes.
So here’s the thing: you do not need to do this. Show him all facets of his personality, interests, hobbies, worldview, opinions on various problems.
If he has been surrounded all his life only striving to be perfect and therefore support gender stereotypes, a bright personality is sure to impress.
Agree, it’s a win-win. You wouldn’t likely fall for a guy you caught lying to you either, would you? So why should he? No. So show that you can be trusted. Don’t lie, if he told you something in confidence, keep it.
At the same time, be honest with yourself. Don’t try to playfully change to please someone, trying to be liked. The truth will come out sooner or later, and then there will be no one to blame.
Do not be afraid to show that you are smart and interesting person. Keep the conversation. If he is interested in something – try to listen with all possible attention, to understand, penetrate, it will be nice to apply the role of a mentor.
If you are talking about something that is interesting to both of you, don’t be shy to express your opinion, to show your knowledge. “Men are afraid of smart women” is a long outdated stereotype; if his masculinity detracts from your intelligence – why would you want one?
Absolutely everyone, regardless of gender, loves admiration. Lovelaces are especially addicted to it. It’s not a special psychology of the conqueror, it’s just that guys are not accepted to compliment.
And they experience the same torment of insecurity, low self-esteem, as the girls. The only compliment, said many years ago, is perceived for a very long time (mostly, but there are exceptions).
Take advantage of it! Let him be a hero next to you, a Superman, a beautiful knight. Don’t hide the admiring gleam in his eyes, smile when you see him, openly say compliments.
It’s important to do it sincerely. Say:
- Thank you for… (describe actions), I really appreciate it.
- I love it so much when you…
- You are very… (several positive characteristics), I noticed it when you… (describe actions where he showed it).
- This shirt suits you so well, you are very… (masculine, elegant, charming – as the case may be).
- You always make me laugh.
- I’m safe around you.
And compliments about appearance work great as well!
Signify interest, and then let him take the next step on his own. Do not write too often, pick up the phone right away, as soon as he calls – all these manifestations of dependence.
And it’s frustrating, it makes you think that you’re hooked and there’s nowhere to go. Plus – it is bad in general: fruitless waiting exhausts, nerves. The “sea” is full of other “fish” (so, just in case).
The second stage.
Do not force it.
Common mistake of women: always strive for certainty, when usually on the other hand “we’re just having a good time, why do you complicate everything. Does that “song” sound familiar?
If you care about certainty, that’s fine, but not at the beginning. It can be discouraging. Let things go your way, and then we’ll see. Do not even really begin to meet him to talk about the future of children.
Agree, you will not lose your head from someone who is constantly whining, crying. Optimistic, cheerful people with a sense of humor, next to whom the mood improves, attracts attention.
This does not mean that you have to necessarily hide your worries, pretend that everything is fine, if it is not. You – a living person, you have the right to be upset, angry, not to be a shining fairy 24 hours a day. That’s fine.
Just being cheerful, optimistic, with a sense of humor, learning to get back to normal quickly after an upset – it will make you more attractive in the eyes of those around you and the one and only.
Two mistakes that girls occasionally make.
First: become a mommy, surround a man with the care that usually surround young sons. Make appointments at the doctor, pick up the bra to work, fix his tie, wash his socks.
The second: not to take the initiative at all, believing that everything must be done by him, and she plays the role of a valuable prize. Constantly wait for surprises and “surprise”, just taking everything on a platter.
In the first case, the man quickly goofed up, in the second – will think “but why do I need such a tsatsa.
Do not surround him with suffocating care, the division of duties has a place, you are a woman, not a robot for cleaning. He should be in the first place interesting, fun, happy.
Let gestures of care be infrequent, but sincere, gentle, memorable.
Pleasant little things
It’s romantic, it keeps him from forgetting about you, hints that you’re thinking about him and he’s important. Send a cute text message, stick a sticker on his monitor, tell him you missed him at the end of the day. The niceties…
Accentuate the similarities.
If you have hobbies in common – great, just tell him a couple of times, “I’m so glad this brings us together and we can spend time together.” If you don’t share hobbies, take a closer look at his, see if you like something.
You don’t have to force yourself to do something you don’t like. Just try it. Like it – great, do not like it – you can always find another unifying activity.
Shared hobbies unite: you kind of experience different adventures, spend a lot of time together, get closer. And if you tell him directly – he will appreciate it even more.
Trying to please, many “silly” turn into the perfect princess. But in a long-term relationship, a man learns that you can cry, get angry, you’re not always perfect, a living person with your own feelings and moments of weakness, after all.
And if the relationship is a deep one that lasts longer than a couple of months, he has to accept that and try to help in moments of weakness. Just like you help when he feels bad.
Don’t be afraid to show emotion. Cry on his shoulder, complain about life, let him feel like a knight protecting a beautiful lady, a stone wall behind which he is not afraid.
It feels good. It’s also a good test of his reaction to you in a broken, vulnerable state. The revelations can be pleasant, and sometimes very unpleasant (in the second case, you should think about the necessity of the relationship).
By becoming attached, people often fall out of their social lives for six months or more and get caught up in each other. This is normal, a manifestation of the hormones: when you “parish”, it is difficult to notice anyone but him alone.
But it’s still worth it to do it. Continue to spend time with friends, do not give him all your free minutes, allocate time to career, hobbies, self-development, from time to time to relax in pleasant solitude.
Why do we need to do this? For 3 reasons.
- Just in case. It’s worth paying attention to things that are guaranteed to stay with you even if he leaves – that is, yourself, self-development, nice little pleasures, relaxation, career.
- It will emphasize that you are an interesting person, whose life does not end in a relationship alone. It will show you as an interesting, deep person.
- It will show that you are independent. And this often stimulates feelings of jealousy, the desire to conquer, the fear that you might be lost if he doesn’t try hard enough.
You know, the unpleasant feeling when he says, “You should lose a few pounds…”, “Maybe you should dress more feminine? Like Seryozha’s wife”, “Stop doing nonsense” (referring to your hobbies)?
Discovery of the XXI century: men like this is also unpleasant. So there is no need to try to change it. Still will not work, and attempts to change will be met with a harsh rebuff, rejection.
You may think the change you want is logical. Or would make him feel better.
For example, he doesn’t care about his health, even though a nutritionist has prescribed a strict diet and exercise routine. But – this is an adult who has the right to make his own decisions.
It’s okay to discuss the issue calmly, but no more… No more – you have to, etc.
Initially, this is especially important at the start of a relationship: be the beautiful vision, the dream girl who always looks like the beauty and fashion gods just did her makeup and hair. Be a celebration for him, a beautiful vision, a seductive image.
If you’re already living together, don’t take it to the absurd, a smart man understands that you don’t wake up with perfect makeup and the occasional body hair grows, and that’s okay. Nice pajamas, nice breath and body odor, and always clean hair is enough.
Make nice surprises.
Why should only men have romantic dates! How about a candlelit dinner? Or an erotic massage with scented oil? Or have a treasure hunt quest? Try it!
You yourself probably enjoy it when he does something like this – so do it back, it’s sure to be memorable. A nice bonus: it is very likely that the “answer” is not long in coming!
Be on his side.
This is important in any close relationship: friendships, romances, or even parent-child relationships. When you’re together, you’re on his side in external conflicts.
If the man quarrels with someone (the boss, relatives, friends) – take his side without even thinking. Feeling the backing of such support, he will instinctively penetrate the feelings, unequivocally positive.
Make him jealous.
The classic way to provoke feelings is to make him jealous. You should not resort to this technique often, after all, it is manipulation, but if your relationship is in one place – jealousy will help.
Don’t be jealous.
Girls usually perceive jealousy as a cute fear of loss, but men perceive it as an attempt to control. Therefore, jealousy will most likely be perceived negatively by him, and you will demonstrate your dependence.
Remember that jealousy essentially won’t do anything. If he wants to change – will change, will leave, will leave, regardless of whether you were jealous, and to show aggression to a rival is just not nice: she may not be aware that he is busy at all.
The 8 main criteria for charm in a girl:
- Always dressed appropriately for the occasion (before intimacy – provocatively, on a hike – in warm clothes and comfortable shoes, to the theater – in a dress);
- Open, natural, is not shy about their hobbies, opinions;
- Laughs a lot, smiling, optimistic;
- Independent, she has many friends and interests;
- Not afraid of unusual situations, with such you can go hiking, and to the theater, and drink port on the roof.
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