How to get a boy, boy, man to like you: 7 working ways
In fact, the vast majority of these tips work both ways, so guys can learn some important lessons for themselves, too.
Since girls write me with questions: “how does a boy like me?”, I’m letting you know that this article will work for you little beauties, too. Take action to get a boy to like you.
So, you’ve got your eye on someone…but the problem is, he doesn’t like you as much as you like him.
Luckily, there are things you can do to increase your chances of him becoming more attracted to you and wanting to be around you.
In this article, I’m going to tell you 7 ways for a guy to like you. Some of them may go against your beliefs of what you think is right. But trust me, these are exactly what you have to do to get him. Do some new things that he doesn’t expect you to do.
Here are these seven ways to get a guy to like you:
1. pay attention to yourself.
So, let’s say a guy doesn’t notice you at all, even though you, for example, go to the same school (for girls), college, or work at the same job (for older girls).
The easiest thought on how to get a relationship would undoubtedly be to just get to know him.
Walk up to him there and ask, “Hi, do you go to school (work) here too? “.
Or text him on social media.
It’s so trivial, it’s not likely to work the way you want it to.
But listen to me – Sergio Cerheiro has some advice that will get a guy not only to notice you, but to start thinking about you.
So, get cocky, “cross him,” rib him when you get the chance, question something he thinks he’s perfect at. But don’t be too cocky! This is a very fine line.
Example #1. A long time ago, when I was a student at the institute, I used to take a cup of coffee and an eclair after classes at the local cafeteria. The barmaid knew my habit and always saved me one eclair. And no one ever molested the eclair – if it’s saved, it’s saved. But then one day my eclair was gone, and the barmaid showed me a girl from my junior year, whom I had never seen before, and said that this insolent junior insisted on her own and bought my only eclair. When the eclair girl saw my indignant look, she smiled and asked: “Do you want half?” This sly nymphet tricked me like a sucker. I, of course, agreed, sat down with her, and at first we had a fuck-o-li, and then a spiel-o-li.
I don’t think you’d have any trouble watching him, and then get in his way in any of the events. Buy what he wanted to buy, take what he wanted to take, drive off in the cab he called. Well – show some imagination and post in the comments if you’ve done this before to help other girls capture the attention of the right guy.
Example #2. At the same institute, a friend of mine was very fond of exaggerating his accomplishments in his stories. And all the girls skipped this, and one politely clarified the details, annoying him, because he had to lie on the fly, which is not always successful. And it seems she did not offend him in any way, even showed interest, but caused him irritation, which made him think of her. So as a result, they started dating.
I often hear advice along the lines that a girl should have the courage to go up to a guy and ask him for help with something insignificant. Yes, you might get to know him this way and even start communicating, but you’re not yanking his emotions, and that’s a direct path to the Friendzone.
In fact, there are plenty of ways to hook a guy emotionally in order for him to pay attention, there are dozens of teen TV shows and movies, as well as book plots that are based on this. I will not list them all here.
2. Don’t flirt with him.
Let’s say you’ve already caught his attention in some of the above ways, but don’t rush into his arms.
Yes, you’ve yanked him emotionally, made him think of you, but don’t be in a hurry to reveal your cards right away. You can start by showing that you’re interested in him as a person, as a person, but not as a sexual partner. Men are not sensitive enough to expose you and your intentions, sensitivity is the province of women.
By the way, I’ll make a little digression on this point. I have always been amazed by the fact – how women manage to feel a fine line here, between when you are just infatuated with her and when you start to get hooked on her. Women know exactly when you have not yet swallowed the bait, and when you can already be hooked, in fishing slang. A rare man has a similar gift.
Be with him friendly, but aloof, talk only about the case, try to avoid personal conversations, but communicate quite often, even on minor matters.
Leave him in the dark about your plans, don’t distance yourself, but don’t approach him either. And most importantly, remember – there’s no need to rush, though it seems that here he is – a fruit, you can reach out and pluck, but – no, give him a little more ripeness, and yet proceed to the next step.
3. Make him jealous.
Let him see that you have a personal life and that other men are interested in you.
Again, do not go overboard with this so he does not think that you are already in a serious relationship or vice versa, you have a hellish circle around you.
Well, at least not at this stage.
What can you do safely?
Flirt with another guy right in front of him and see the look on his face. Show him pictures on your smartphone of you with another guy and don’t tell him who it is.
Don’t show him pictures of you making out with your ex-boyfriend or hovering in a sauna with a guy, even if that’s what happened.
It is quite acceptable photos where you are on vacation, for example, standing on the slopes, and with you next to a handsome sportsman. Or where you celebrate the New Year, and the total picture of you hugged some guy.
If your relationship will develop into something more, then you tell him that the first photo of your ski instructor, and the second – your cousin. In the meantime, let his imagination run wild and make him jealous.
Even if he does not have any feelings for you yet, subconsciously, you will start to cause them to him. Man polygamous and he wants all the women in the world to belong only to him. Unfortunately, you’ll have to accept that.
4. Show yourself.
Men are turned on by what they see. Women are turned on by what they hear. That’s the conventional wisdom.
I don’t agree too much with the second one, so again a little digression, I can’t help but put it in here. It is also believed that women are turned on by money, flowers, gifts, courtship, and compliments. But practice shows the opposite. Often, a man with his stooped gifts, flowers and other trappings of “real men” remain outside the friendzone, and the heart of women seizes uncouth and rude brutal, who do not care about her and say beautiful words, he does not know how.
But according to the first fact all is correct – men are aroused by the female body, everything else is in the background.
So use this fact this way:
Clothes are sexy. You don’t have to dress like a stripper dancer, but by showing a little more of your naked body, you can greatly increase your chances and win his favor.
Studies show that men find women more attractive when they have 40% of their body exposed. If the weather or dress code doesn’t allow you to get naked, tighten up your charms, it may be even better to let his imagination work.
Life story. I once worked at a company with a protective uniform that was so unsexy that it turned even very pretty women into shapeless monsters. And a colleague of mine, with whom we had a mutual sympathy, would sometimes lift a piece of clothing over her thigh in front of me and say: “It itches right here,” drawing attention to where she was supposedly itching. And this unexpected nudity, which is usually plentiful on the beach in the summer, was even more disturbing in these circumstances than the full nudity in a porn movie.
So, my dear, you want to catch it – from time to time a little sparkle with your body, because even the most unadvanced in terms of fantasies man, in the art of undressing the eyes of attractive women just a fantasy writer.
5. Find out what kind of girls he likes.
All of us have stereotypes formed in childhood about what or who we like, and what or who do not. Often these stereotypes are quite stable and difficult to transform over the years.
For example, we were friends with my childhood friend and still are friends because he always liked tall girls and I liked petite ones. We never argued over girls, because we trivially liked different girls.
That’s the way it is with all guys. Some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like skinny girls, some like lush shapes. And that image is made up of thousands of details. Some have a tolerance here and there, and some are very strict and unchanging over the years. For example, I’ve never dated or would never date an older woman, but I know many men who deliberately look for a “second mother.”
And now that you and I have gotten so close to your boyfriend, it’s time to find out – are you actually in the category of girls he’s attracted to?
You are already communicating normally, you may even notice that he is breathing “unevenly” in your direction ❤ but it is in your interest to fix the situation.
But it can also happen that you are not right for each other. Maybe he is a musician and is looking for a girl who will be in his band as a vocalist. Maybe he’s an athlete and wants to go swimming with his girlfriend and you’re afraid of the water. Maybe he’s attracted to a different type. Or maybe he’s very comfortable existing alone so no one interferes with him playing his favorite computer games. You wouldn’t believe how many guys are exactly like that right now.
There can be any number of such “maybes” that do not allow the puzzle of your relationship to take shape. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
But sometimes it can also be that he personally doesn’t like you for a particular thing that you could really fix. He may avoid you, but he’ll never tell you why.
Here are a few examples just at random, I think you could easily add to them yourself:
- Something about the way you dress (maybe he thinks you dress too slutty and therefore look “available” or, conversely, too modest, like a gray mouse)
- Personality traits (maybe he values his time and hates being late, and you are constantly late, etc.)
- You do not like the way you communicate with people (if he/she thinks you are too rude or, on the contrary, too soft)
Maybe you can find the strength to just ask him or her a question – what don’t you like about me? Don’t focus on the fact that you would like to change for him personally, don’t even mention it at all. Ask him to be honest with you. You’ll probably hear some things you don’t want to hear. You might realize that you’re not ready to change your habits or appearance for him. Treat it as an outsider’s perspective. I hope either way this kind of dialogue is good for you.
Honestly, when we like a person, many of their “flaws” we begin to see in a different light and they make us cringe. I had a girlfriend who walked kind of weird, like a duck. But I was in love and I thought she had a “special walk.” And when the affair ended, I just saw that she walked like a duck. My point is, if a guy likes you, he’ll like you with all your flaws. So think a hundred times – is he worth you changing and is he willing to change for you?
6. Don’t treat him like a friend.
This problem is the same for both sexes – the friendzone. You know what it is.
So please don’t miss the point when you’ve already gone through the six points above and you’re not doing anything to get you closer already, as a guy and a girl, rather than becoming loyal friends.
So make sure you don’t start treating him like a friend and avoid:
- Doing things together without any romantic overtones.
- Doing his work for him.
- Listening to his stories about how he spends time with other women.
That’s what friends do for each other most of the time, but you originally had a different goal in mind, didn’t you?
So go for it! I’ve prepared quite a bit of material for you. I will repeat and add to it. In one of my articles you will find 101 great questions to get to know each other better, use also 13 ways to hint to a guy that you like him, read carefully the guide on how to make a guy fall in love with you and then you will be surprised to notice 23 clear signs that he is in love with you. Find out also what to talk about on a first date with a guy and what to do on a date.
Although I know quite a few cases where a guy and a girl have just been friends for a long time, not considering each other as romantic partners. But at some point they said to each other, “Hey, you and I are so much alike, why don’t we try to build a relationship?” Such unions are more often than not much stronger than those that were built on so-called love and passion, which obscures and distorts reality. Love fades, passion goes away, and the union ends up with two people who are totally unsuitable for each other.
7. Don’t despair.
Some things in life don’t go at all the way we want them to:
- Our favorite character dies in a movie we’re watching
- We don’t get the promotion we want
- We gain weight despite a strict diet
And you can’t get any man you want. You can be the most attractive woman on the planet, but there will still be men who don’t want you.
Is that your fault? No.
Is it his fault? No.
You’re just not meant for each other. Because if you were, it would work out.
But that’s not the case. It’s annoying, of course, but it is.
And don’t forget that there are guys who like you and you don’t like them. And they get hurt and hurt, too.
So if it turns out that this guy just doesn’t want to be with you, despite your best efforts, just move on.
How do you get a guy’s attention and set him up for a serious relationship?
My line of work keeps me up to date and learning new things all the time. I like to learn and develop.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For 8 years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
The question of how to attract a guy for a serious relationship, worries more than one generation of women. Most likely, it has been relevant since the very formation of the human community. A huge number of psychological dissertations have been written on this topic, many sociological studies have been conducted. What is there to say, neither glossy magazines, nor television, nor the Internet do not skirt this topic.
- 1 Strict control of one’s appearance.
- 2 Be confident in your own abilities.
- 3 Control your speech
- 4 A smile makes the world a brighter place
- 5 Talk on topics that interest you
- 6 Initiative is not always punishable
- 7 Give him/her a compliment
- 8 Summing Up
So where’s the truth? Are there any real ways to attract the attention of the male sex? Will all young ladies be able to take advantage of them and do the tips of psychologists and experienced temptresses really work?
This question remains relevant for all women. And, it does not matter if she met with the object of interest to her spontaneously (for example, a table in a cafe or in line at the local supermarket), or she is interested in how to revive the waning interest in his own person constant partner.
Knowledge of basic recommendations on how to attract a guy she just did vital. By and large there is nothing surprising about this. What woman would not like a universal solution to attract the attention of a loved one.
By and large, the advice of psychologists and experienced temptresses are much the same. Let us focus on the most important of them.
The strict control of your appearance
Not without reason, people say that they meet each other by the clothes. This is indeed true. And, if you constantly appear in front of the chosen one with unwashed head, bad breath and in a dirty, unwashed clothes, it will be almost impossible to win his sympathy. Moreover, even if the guy is in love and has a sincere sympathy, unkempt appearance sooner or later will kill all the positive emotions, leaving behind only disappointment, and possibly disgust.
Do not spare any money or time. With regular care it will be enough very little. Dress for a date as if you were going to audition for the best modeling agency in the country. Hair, makeup, manicure – you should have everything at the highest level.
The fashion industry is able to help the lovely ladies in many ways. Its many secrets will help visually correct the figure, to hide possible flaws in case it is not ideal. For example, high-heeled shoes will make a woman slimmer and “elongate” the silhouette.
Every woman who really self-assesses herself really knows both the advantages and disadvantages of her figure. Naturally, the existing advantages should be emphasized. There are a lot of recommendations of stylists to this end:
- Beautiful legs will look more advantageous in short skirts and dresses;
- The waist is further emphasized by dresses with wide belts or narrowed at the waist tunics;
- An imposing chest will not go unnoticed in a blouse with a not particularly large neckline, however, as well as the graceful line of the neck.
If you’re going to win the heart of the man of your dreams, you can’t do without confidence in your own abilities. After all, if the conversation with his chosen one, you start to shush, blush, and can not cope with the excitement, carry a frank nonsense, it is unlikely to increase the level of sympathy for themselves.
If you are not characterized by hardness from birth, try to lose beforehand such situations, imagining what words to say, how to behave. Play ahead and his facial expressions, and gestures. The best helper in this case for you will be a mirror.
Psychologists have long confirmed the fact that a woman who lives in self-confidence, always remains in a positive mood, and her irrepressible charm in itself will attract admiring male gazes. It is among these views (at the request of a real woman) and will sooner or later be THE one, the only and unrepeatable.
Control your speech
If you think that, demonstrating to your favorite guy that your vocabulary of foul language is no less than in the arsenal of a village cobbler (however, just as well as simple country folk words, having nothing in common with pure Russian speech) will become more sympathetic to him, you are very seriously mistaken.
Only a hardened criminal or a very crude bumpkin could accept such communication. Although, to be frank, the representatives of the male half of these classes, no matter how strange it may seem, deep in their hearts have a sincere sympathy for the girls, whose conversation does not contain even a hint of coarse language, criminal slang or colloquialisms.
Excluding foul language from our conversations (better yet, exclude them even from your subconscious) will give you a much better chance to win the attention of guys you like. It is possible that over time you will admit in private with him some not quite cultural words. It is possible that they will even “turn on” the partner and serve as a catalyst for sexual games. But, at first, do not take risks and tempt fate.
A smile makes the world a brighter place
Yes, no one will doubt that a sincere smile on the face of the interlocutor can set a positive and change the mood of everyone around. The guy you like is no exception. In any case, he will transmit your excellent mood and optimistic mood.
It is unlikely that a guy even in his mind would want to establish contact with a constantly angry at the whole world frowning “mean girl. This is especially true for new dating – who would want to start a relationship with a woman whose face initially says “I am surrounded by problems and troubles. So one of the main tips on how to attract a guy – smile a lot.
At the same time, if you meet your interlocutor with an open, radiant and obligatory sincere smile, his desire to communicate with you a hundred percent will be simply irresistible. Not only that, in communication with a girl – a holiday, the guy will be much easier to show and own initiative in the development of relationships.
Conversation on topics that interest the interlocutor
In no case, during the first meetings with a guy, you should not show exaggerated egocentrism and talk to him only on topics that interest you. As a matter of fact, this should not be allowed, and in a long-term, and even in a family relationship. But during the “bind” of interest to you guy, such tactics are not allowed.
If you are not given to support his topics of interest (cars, computers, fishing or oil production in the Far East) do not despair. Try to simply move the dialogue in the direction of the expert – dilettante. Naturally, the role of an expert should be the beloved. Build such a behavioral strategy is simple enough. For example, you can complain to him that, not being an advanced computer user, you can not cope with any program you need. The guy will certainly advise you, and then, having started a conversation, the conversation itself will go in the direction you both need.
As for what makes your cat sick in the morning, or how good a manicurist at your favorite beauty salon, he does not need to know. Especially at first. These concerns you can easily discuss later with your girlfriends.
Initiative is not always punishable
Many life situations teach us that in most cases, the initiative may be punishable. But, in the case of newly established relationships, this statement is not always true.
The thing is that not always both the guy and the girl have enough self-confidence. It happens that the girl’s confidence is not taken away, but the guy she likes, on the contrary, is modest and shy. In this case, if you wait until the moment when he dares to ask for the phone number or invite to the next date, there is a very real risk that he will not come and the first meeting will automatically become the last.
If you see that the guy is interested in his person and you understand that a banal shyness prevents him to get a phone number, without hesitation, take matters into your own hands. In order to smooth out the awkwardness of this moment, you can turn the conversation into a joking way. This will be even better – the joke will smooth out the moment and the guy will not feel a hint of his uninhibited behavior. That is, if this is the guy you want, don’t hesitate to take the initiative.
Delight him with compliments
It is in vain that many women think that a compliment is the destiny of men and only they should always emphasize women’s beauty, intelligence and uniqueness. Not at all, who does not like to be praised. Believe me, here even the most confident macho men are no exception. They, just like shy first-year students, need to hear flattering words and statements to their address at least from time to time.
The only thing that you should pay attention to in this case is that all the compliments and praise words should be sincere and not faked. Agree, from the side it would look ridiculous if you showered flattering words with eagle’s eye guy, whose nose is decorated with glasses with dioptres. Here it “smells” not a compliment, but outright mockery.
If you decide to take the initiative and the first to praise your partner, talk only about those traits or external data, which he really has. And, no matter what exactly are we talking about – about a sense of humor or punctuality, increased energy or a positive attitude to what is happening around, praise him only in what he really deserves.
A kind word to the guy you like in the right moment will certainly bring the desired result. In addition, the compliments to his address, the guy will take as a manifestation of genuine interest in his person and will emphasize your respect for him. The most important thing is that all compliments should look natural.
To sum up
The skills listed above, are general. Of course, each individual case is strictly individual. It relies on a woman in each case to develop specific tactics and strategies appropriate to the situation and the nature of the guy you like.
Learning certain skills does not come by itself, in some cases, you need to make efforts and work in depth and with his character and his tactics. Some of them will be easy to learn, to teach others you will have to spend a certain amount of time.
The most important thing for a woman is to recognize the need for change and willingly go for it. If you can’t learn how to communicate with guys on your own, you can use the recommendations of professionals and take one of the many trainings for women. A wide choice of them are presented as a newspaper, and the Internet.
The most important task in determining how to attract a guy is to trust your intuition. It is she who better than any adviser will prompt a woman how to behave in a particular situation, with this or that guy. A woman who will be able to fully trust her feelings has a much better real chance to attract the guy of her dreams and avoid mistakes.
The only thing that should not be forgotten in any case is sincerity. Without this, on the one hand elementary, but on the other hand – a very difficult feeling in life, you certainly will not be able to establish a good and sincere love affairs. Do not lie to your loved one, in which case you will have a really great and pure love.