How do you approach a guy first and do it successfully?
I’ve been in journalism for over seven years now. Half of them as an editor. My weakness is doing mini investigations on new topics.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
“And why even go first?” – a lot of girls ask. Because, dear ladies, it’s time to get rid of the stereotypes of princesses languishing in towers, who wait years in the unknown and who does not know. The more often you will take the initiative, the better you will succeed. Unnecessary contrived fears will leave and in their place will come self-confidence and drive. Adrenaline. Excitement.
Getting to know guys is like riding a bike. Learn it once and you can ride it for the rest of your life.
Don’t go unnoticed.
Even if you’ve decided to pass the buck for your happy future together, you have some work to do. Let’s call this mission this way – “Getting rid of invisible status.”
Does this guy even know that you exist? Have you managed to exchange at least a few words? Or maybe you just do not contact in any way, but you somehow expect him to make the first step and confessions of passionate feelings for you?
What to do if you and this guy do not know each other?
- Ask your mutual friends or acquaintances to introduce you to each other;
- If he works at a store/café/restaurant, go there more often. Talk to him, be friendly, and exude charm;
Outfit
You know how the law of meanness works? The very day you decide to walk to the store in a stretchy big brother sweatshirt and homemade pants, you’ll meet your prince. By no means are we telling you to forget about your own comfort and not to leave the house without an extremely short dress and heeled shoes. It’s enough to look after yourself – without fanaticism. Choose clothes in which you feel comfortable and confident.
Do not score on your appearance. Men are mostly visual – use it to your advantage.
How to say “Hi!”
So, it’s time to introduce yourself in person. If you’re basically hard to get along with new people, this moment will seem like an eternity long. “I’d rather go skydiving, by golly,” you’ll think.
“Hi, my name is … . We’ve bumped into each other many times, but I don’t think we’ve ever gotten to know each other,” you can use that phrase to introduce yourself.
Or use external circumstances for introductions-“I’ve seen you take this particular brownie so often that I just can’t sleep peacefully if I don’t try it. I am, by the way … “.
A compliment is also a good reason to get acquainted and strike up a conversation. We remember the pleasant words received not only from loved ones, but also from unfamiliar people. Compliment his appearance or abilities. For example, the ability to joke, respond to barbs, find a way out of difficult situations, etc. Do not teach you – you probably had time to zaprimetit in it a dozen or so merits.
Flirting
Flirting begins with a look. Look into his eyes. He needs to be sure you are looking at him. When he catches your eye, smile, look at him for two or three seconds and look away. Do not stare at him aggressively.
Important: Do not look away as soon as he looks at you. It is far from certain that he reads your mind and understands that you like him and you do not mind to get acquainted. “It’s probably just an impression,” he’ll think, and then go on about his business.
Don’t forget to smile.
“Geez, it goes without saying!” – you say. It’s not that simple. If you’re calmly flirting and meeting guys, you’re fine. You’re in control, you’re smiling and you’re in control. But if you’re tense and nervous, all your body resources are spent making sure you don’t faint from nervous tension. Breathe out and smile. Think of something pleasant, like bragging to your friends tonight about your courage.
Smiling not only makes you feel good, it shows you’re attracted to the guy and that you’re ready to commit to him.
Say hello to him. When you pass him or “unexpectedly” meet him somewhere. If you regularly exchange social niceties, but all of your communication ends with a banal “hello,” take things into your own hands. Say you haven’t seen him in a while, start a conversation on some topic regarding your studies/work/common acquaintances. Someone needs to take your communication to the next level, after all!
Online Dating
Chatting online can be a lot easier than face-to-face. Like her photo or post, friend her or subscribe. If you have mutual friends and acquaintances and work/socialize together, there’s nothing weird about it.
If you found him on a dating app or just saw him somewhere on the web, you can let him know. Or keep it intriguing. Open up your profile before you start your plan to capture him. You don’t like it yourself when mysterious people with no pictures or names text you in private messages, do you?
Should you text him first? Why not. “I liked your post/your photos/your playlist,” there’s both a compliment and an excuse to start a conversation and discuss common interests.
Plan of Action
Have you decided to express your liking? That’s a bold move. But you need to do a little special surgery:
- Make sure he’s available.
Check out his pictures on social media. Listen carefully to him when he talks about himself, his life and how he spends his free time. Or you can make it easier by asking him directly. We hope you’re with an honest guy who won’t try to hide the fact that he has or doesn’t have a girlfriend.
- Small steps to a big goal.
Let it be a small gesture that lets him know without words that you like him. Pay attention to him, help him with something. A cup of coffee or some little thing he really needs for work/study that he keeps forgetting about. “I thought you’d forget about … again, so I brought a spare,” the important thing is to say it with a smile and in a friendly way. You don’t have to sound like an angry German housekeeper.
Tell him you like him – easily and casually. “I like you, I wouldn’t mind spending time together” sounds much better than “I’ve been following you on social media for six months, how did your third cousin’s knee surgery go?”
You can start with a compliment and gently bring everything to your possible date: “You’re always so easy and interesting to talk to! If you ever decide to ask me out, I’ll definitely say yes.
He should not give the impression that your love for him will hang on him as a burden, and if he turned you down, your relationship will be damaged. Let him know how you feel, smile and gracefully go about your business or change the subject.
You can ask him out. “I have an extra ticket,” or “I think you’d like that,” etc. Do I emphasize that it’s a date? It’s at your discretion.
And if it doesn’t work out?
Then it will work out with someone else. Don’t put the responsibility for your personal life and your bright future on the unhappy guy. Just try to get to know him better and give him a chance to get to know you. What if he’s not at all what you thought he was? Or maybe he’s a good guy, but you are too different and you are both fine to be friends? Enjoy flirting, chatting and try not to imagine what will be your wedding dress and which cottage by the sea you will live together.
How to approach a guy you like
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In love with the grocer? Suffering for the guy from the parallel class you see every day in the school hallway? Want to talk him up so that a stranger can be your date? Wikihow can help you do just that! Apply a few tricks, and before you know it you and your boyfriend will start a pleasant conversation. The first point of this guide will tell you where to start.
Practice talking to strangers. If you want to learn how to make conversation with guys, the best way to start is to talk to strangers. Strike up a conversation with the grocery store clerk, talk to the old lady in the park, start a dialogue with the boy by the science fiction counter in the bookstore. Well, you get the idea. Do you want to talk to a guy who’s cute to you in a way that looks natural? You need to do it the same way you would do it with all other people, and so – practice, because that’s the best way to prepare yourself.
Watch how you look and smell. This does not mean that you have to look like a top model, and yet, you should not give the impression by your appearance that you have escaped from the local mental hospital. Be hygienic and wear clothes that fit you and accentuate your body’s strengths. Definitely, you should smell good. A regular shower and deodorant will suffice here. A little perfume can play in your favor, but just don’t overdo it.
Before you start talking to a guy, take a closer look at him. Don’t just drop everything and run straight to the cute guy the second you see him. After all, you will need to use some assumptions and guesstimates: what will he be interesting to talk about, what will he like? Pay attention to his behavior and the way he behaves with others. You should also note what he is wearing. A guy with an engagement ring is probably best not to be bothered. Sentimental things (like a knitted hat) may indicate that he has a girlfriend. Pay attention to what could be a reason to talk.
Avoid certain places. Talking to a guy in certain places can be a little discouraging. If it’s clear that the guy has a business meeting with his work partner or boss at the moment, leave him alone. Public transportation would also be a bad idea – people usually ride there tired or busy with something.
Start conversations in places where other people are present. You should try talking to your boyfriend in a crowded place. Not only will this give you a reason to start a conversation, but it will also save the guy from feeling like you need something from him.
If possible, do it yourself. Try to get the guy alone, but avoid the help of a “co-pilot.” This looks too much like a pickup move. The partner will show that you’ve been thinking about it a lot, calculating and giving it all too much weight – it’s not at all what the guy should think.
