How to learn how to behave socially
Contributor(s): Michael Dickerson, PsyD. Michael Dickerson is a clinical psychologist with more than six years of experience counseling students. He specializes in depression, OCD, and men’s mental health. He received his bachelor’s degree in psychology from California State University, Sacramento and his doctorate in psychology (PsyD) from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California.
Number of sources used in this article: 12. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.
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Good social behavior, or etiquette, can make your life much more pleasant. People will respond well to you, and they will enjoy being in your company – just a basic knowledge of how one should behave with others. To master good social behavior, you need to learn to understand your audience, own your body, improve your communication skills, and learn how to dress appropriately.
- You may already find that you behave differently with close friends and family than you do with strangers. You may behave differently in private with colleagues than you would in the presence of a supervisor. And you may behave differently with your children than you do with the elderly. Reflect on what the reason is.
- Be sensitive to those around you. Think about who you are talking to before you say anything. Observe subtle nuances that may be misunderstood by certain people.  X Source of Information
Pay attention to how others interact. Observation is especially helpful when you find yourself in a new environment, such as a new job or a new social circle. With a little detachment and observation of others, you can pick up on what is acceptable to these people and what is not, in different situations.
- Be friendly and respectful to all people, no matter how different they are from you. If you feel uncomfortable at first, the reason may be that you are just as different to them as they are to you. Take the first step and be polite. After all, you can learn a lot from observing the diversity in the world.
- In the words of Dale Carnegie (bestselling author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People”), try to “focus from the inside out.”  X Source of Information
- Stereotypical and racist and sexist comments can be very offensive, even if you are addressing a group of people who are not in the category in question.
- Example: You are busy working on a project and someone comes up to you with a conversation. You respond briefly and continue working. If this person continues to talk to you, it means that they didn’t pick up on your social signal that you were too busy to have a conversation.
- Another example: you are at a party or a bar. A stranger approaches you and starts flirting. You turn away and continue talking to your friends. The stranger doesn’t leave, but instead keeps trying to get your attention. The person doesn’t pick up on your social signal that you’re not interested in getting to know him or her.
- Being able to read social signals is extremely important, otherwise the person who sent such a signal and was not understood will be extremely uncomfortable communicating with you. As a rule, we learn to read social signals in childhood.
- Cultural differences, as well as certain illnesses such as Asperger’s syndrome or other autistic conditions, and even depression can be a barrier to reading social cues.
Use common polite words. Whoever you’re talking to, use words like “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me,” as these words demonstrate the respect for the individual that everyone you’re talking to deserves.  X Source of Information
Act with caution and be polite. If you are not sure what to say in a given situation, speak as little and as politely as possible. Sometimes, especially with people you don’t know well, a little small talk is enough.  X Source of Information
Rules of politeness and etiquette: 70 rules of basic politeness, manners and etiquette
Sometimes it seems that the modern world has forgotten what basic politeness is, judging by the people around them. People don’t even try to be decent and polite, which doesn’t make them look good in the first place, making them stuffy, repulsive and over-the-top rednecks. It’s time to remember the rules of politeness that make us stand out from the crowd, make us a pleasant and interesting person, emphasizing our positive qualities and presenting spectacularly in any society.
The rules of basic politeness
Remember in the cartoon about the Kid and Carlson, there was the character Freken Bock, who exclaimed: “Ew! How uncivil!” You hardly want to hear that in your direction from those around you, because good manners and rules of etiquette make a person much more attractive and interesting, while their ignorance makes a rude and unpleasant type. Any modern person who wants to look good in society should know the rules of politeness.
What is etiquette? Etiquette is the rules of conduct for people in society that they must adhere to. The word “etiquette” first appeared at the court of King Louis XIV of France, when guests were given cards with advice on how they should behave.
But the rules and norms of behavior themselves have been around since ancient times, and mention of them was in the ancient Egyptian work “The Teachings of Kagemni.” It set forth the rules of good manners, as instructions from the adult to the younger generation.
If you don’t want to be seen as a redneck, a crank, a plebeian, or a simpleton, you should observe the rules of politeness. That’s what will distinguish you from the stuffy, redneck, uncultured people who come to the big cities. Politeness takes the city!
Rules of politeness and etiquette
Modern etiquette is not that complicated, it’s just that we have forgotten the basic rules to follow. The rules of etiquette include the ability to behave in different situations, behave correctly, be polite, show a cultural side, present yourself spectacularly, and the ability to build a positive image for those around you. Be sure to read them all so you know the basic rules of politeness, etiquette, and manners.
1. The first rule of politeness is to be friendly, saying hello when you meet and goodbye when you leave.
2. be punctual and don’t keep yourself waiting. Punctuality is the politeness of kings and the duty of all good men.
3. Give people a chance to finish their sentence or story without interrupting.
11 Don’t cause fights, tantrums, squabbles or quarrels over nothing.
12. Let women, adults, and children through when the door is opened.
26. Do not take other people’s things without asking, so as not to cause negativity.
27. Move between the rows of spectators facing those already seated.
28. Pointing fingers is not nice in today’s society.
29. When talking on the phone, do not disturb other people, but step aside.
30. A person with children has an obligation to monitor their adequate behavior.
31. Ideally, the girl should walk to the right of the man.
36. Do not call anyone names, tease or scold them.
37. Don’t pick your nose and blow your nose in a handkerchief.
38. It is rude to sit at your computer, TV or phone if you have guests over.
39. A bouquet should have an odd number of flowers.
40. Girls are given flowers with lighter colors, while adult women are given darker ones.
52. Demonstrating your close relationship, like kissing and other things, is not always appropriate.
53. Not saying profanity or uncultured words, if possible.
54. Present the first to the man to the woman, the young to the elder.
55. The first to present the hand is the eldest in age or rank. Women, too, are the first to give their hand.
56. If a person is sitting when they are greeted, they should stand up.
57. People do not shake hands in the toilet or bathroom.
58. The main purpose of parties is to socialize, not to eat or drink. These rules of courtesy are not nice to break.
59. Being late to a dinner party when the time is clearly stated is not nice and is not tolerated.
61. Exhibits or other such things should not be touched with one’s hands.
62. A napkin is not put behind the collar in the cafe, but on the lap.
63. If there is one menu in a cafe, it is served to the lady first.
64. The man gets out of the transport first and gives his hand to the lady.
65. In a cafe, you can’t ask for the bill until someone has finished their meal.
66. It is advisable to put your phone on silent mode when you are a guest.
67. If you invite someone to lunch or a date, you must pay.
68. It is impolite to split one message into many small ones or to dictate a voice message to non-friends and non-friends.