Female intrusiveness in a relationship: the main signs, how to avoid it
Obsession in a relationship on the part of a woman is not a rare phenomenon. Often girls, having met a worthy guy, from the first days begin to share the biography with the chosen one and demand a lot of things. This can alienate the partner.
What is obsession
The main difficulty of this relationship – a person may not realize that he is mistaken, and his lover does not tell, so as not to offend the soulmate. Over time, patience “bursts” and the relationship comes to an end. Obsessive people prefer to follow the chosen one, asking in detail how he spent the day. If the lover wants to spend time separately – meets anger and jealousy from the loving person.
Many psychologists argue that obsession is related to the fear of loneliness. People who fear the breakup of their marriage wish to spend time with their soulmate all the time, demanding deeds and sweet words.
Compulsive people prefer to solve everything exclusively with their partner. They fence off communication with people by concentrating on their spouse. If the obsession has gone over the edge – the spouse stops answering the phone, comes home late from work, and conversations are reduced to simple phrases. At this point, you need to stop being intrusive with the man you love.
Female obsession in a relationship with a man
With the help of research, it has been proven that the female sex is more prone to intrusive behavior. This is due to the development of the relationship, because initially guys try to actively show attention, winning a woman. In the “flower and candy” period, they often call, care, ask out on dates. As soon as the couple becomes closer, men calm down, as they have already won the beloved’s heart.
The girl in love becomes attached to the guy, feeling the need for constant communication. She needs unexpected calls, declarations of love and flowers. It is important to find the golden mean in the relationship with a man, so as not to become intrusive. Representatives of the stronger sex consider intrusive girls poorly mannered and available. These points for most guys are a serious reason to break up. It is not easy to stop imposing on a guy in a relationship, because it is necessary to completely change the habitual attitude towards the person.
Men are afraid of restricting freedom, so you constantly need to convince them that no one is encroaching on their personal space. Obsessive girls are available to their partner at any time. Men, on the other hand, are producers, who must constantly win the favor and attention of their chosen one.
Psychologists believe that the first call should be a man. Representatives of the stronger sex do not like to talk on the phone or to correspond, so do not impose without reason. Do not become his beloved mother, taking the initiative. He should take care of himself and you on his own.
Why a man needs his freedom.
Female compulsion in a relationship is a common problem that many people face. It is difficult to stop imposing on a man with whom you have been in a relationship for a long time, because a girl gets used to a certain style of behavior. Men need the freedom not to be at a distance, but to dream about the beloved. In moments of separation, a man has strong feelings for his spouse.
This does not mean that the husband does not love his wife, just that he needs a distraction. If you suppress a man’s desires – the needs can erupt with triple force, worsening the marriage irrevocably. The most important thing is to find a compromise that suits both parties.
Signs of an obsessive girlfriend
If you want not to impose on a man in a relationship, you need to understand what signs are indicative. Experts believe that obsession is formed because of insecurity about their own beauty and strength.
Hurry the development of the relationship
The girl’s obsession in the relationship is manifested in the rapid development of the connection. This paragraph does not discuss impetuous romances in which a man and woman started living together on the first night. Often the relationship develops gradually as people get to know each other better. The compulsive woman acts like the man she met is her husband from the first moment. The speed of rapprochement depends on the goal. A girl who wants a long, serious relationship – studies her partner, making sure he is a worthy option.
Misinterpret signs of attention
An intrusive woman rarely notices that her partner does not respond to her feelings. She tends to mistake nothing meaningful moments for signs of attention. This is due to the fact that the girl does not perceive the man as a person. A guy who prefers to be the initiator of the relationship will simply be intimidated by an assertive woman.
Obsessive behavior in a relationship on the part of a woman is manifested in the preferred places to meet and flirt with a partner. This type of girl flirts and shows her interest by making others feel uncomfortable.
For example, they may flirt with the boss at a meeting or glance at investors at an important meeting. A girl should carefully choose her communication style, adjusting to the atmosphere around her.
Filling in all the space in the relationship
Intrusiveness in a relationship with a man manifests itself in an attempt to fill the space with herself. The girl prefers to speak louder and more than her partner, not allowing him to speak out. In a marriage there should be a dialogue, not a monologue.
Controlling the man.
From the first moment of communication, the annoying woman builds an unequal relationship by controlling the man. She watches her lover’s every move so that he doesn’t run off and leave her alone. This type of women are constantly jealous and harasses the partners with various questions, trying to be with her husband 24/7. When choosing a man, do not get hung up on getting him. You need to be attentive, empathetic and sensitive.
How to avoid obsession in a relationship
A woman’s obsession in a relationship is formed out of insecurity. Often the cause of this situation is a failed relationship that worsens the opinion of oneself. The first thing to do is to start changing yourself by increasing your self-esteem. The second step is to acquire a hobby that forces a distraction. Constant busyness deprives you of the opportunity to make unnecessary calls.
Don’t limit communication to your spouse. You should divide the need for communication among several people. With a girlfriend visit a cafe, with friends have a picnic. Do not be afraid of solitude, because in this period you can analyze the behavior and make plans for the future.
Don’t carry offenses of past relationships to your loved ones. Many people may be hurt by questioning: “where were you”, “why didn’t you answer the phone? If any topic bothers you – talk openly with your spouse. And most importantly – do not forget to love yourself. Visit interesting places, learn new things, experiment and do things that make you happy.
How to learn not to be intrusive in a romantic relationship
To learn how not to impose on a man in a relationship, you need to calm down and accept the situation. The first thing you will have to do is to reduce the number of calls and messages without dissolving into a guy. Marriage will be harmonious if you:
- Take into account your partner’s desires. If your spouse has decided to go fishing on his own – let him go, and yourself do something interesting.
- Expect a reciprocal step. Marriage is the same ball game. You can make a step towards, but your partner should do something in return. Otherwise you are not interesting to him.
- Keep an eye on the state of your loved one. The person may be busy or experiencing infirmity, so before you decide that the communication has exhausted itself – find out about the state of the chosen one.
- Recognize the feelings they have for you. If your loved one is rude or constantly ignoring – stop communicating, as this situation will only humiliate you.
If you notice the obsession – ask your lover for help. Think of a special phrase that is a signal that should stop.
Stop being intrusive in a relationship with a man you love is difficult. This requires a review of behavior, to understand the thoughts, feelings and resolve to change everything.
How not to impose on the man you like
Imposing – means strongly tied to the man, literally do not “take off” from him, to deprive personal space and not give freedom of action.
Yes, the object of affection always wants to be as close as possible, to turn his attention. But it is very easy to cross that line from “openly express their feelings” to “suck it like a tick. Therefore, at the first signs of obsession it is necessary to immediately take control.
TOP 7 signs of obsession
Surely you yourself have faced with the obsession of some suitor. You could identify these “bells” unmistakably. But you may not have seen a “log” in a similar situation.
The following signs indicate that you are beginning to stifle the man you like and push him away.
- “Stalking” on social media.
You are relentlessly stalking the “victim” in all accounts. You look for any mention of him, examine every detail in the photo.
You are afraid that the object of your adoration is someone else, and worried sick.
He may not know about your stalking, but by continuing to behave this way, you will never get rid of the obsession.
- There are too many calls and messages.
Keeping in touch is fine if that’s what two people are aiming for. But if a man isn’t responding to you with the same enthusiasm, and there’s only one of him for your twenty messages, then it’s time to hold your horses.
Give the man the opportunity to take the initiative, too. There’s no need to show that you’re “always ready.”
- Loss of interest in former hobbies.
If what you used to love to do now doesn’t interest you at all, that’s not a good sign either. Now you only follow what a man likes. Even if you’ve never been interested in soccer, you don’t get more interesting by suddenly “starting out.”
A man may have liked you precisely because of your personal hobbies. You were a person. Now he may be disappointed.
- The need for verbal affirmation of feelings.
If you’re already in a romantic relationship and you always need to hear how much he likes you, etc., this could spill over into a serious obsessive-compulsive problem. You may not be able to believe your happiness, but don’t terrorize your partner.
- The urge to be the only one in his life.
Can’t stand watching him talk to a coworker? Or go into a rage when you see his bar storisers? You need to get a grip. The man has had a life before you, and he will go out with friends. Yeah, sometimes without you. You don’t have to be his only friend either.
How do you show love to a man without being intrusive?
- Total non-acceptance of attractive friends and acquaintances.
Obsession in this case is a form of jealousy. If you are annoyed by his pretty girlfriends, and you even allow yourself comments, it is a bad sign. In the future, such behavior is not conducive to strengthening relationships. Yes, and you will make yourself look bad.
- Ending relationships with friends.
In your desire to immerse yourself in your significant other (even if you’re not in a relationship yet), you may lose all your friends. But do not forget that you need to communicate with a variety of people. Then obsession won’t be your big problem. You will have something to occupy yourself with.
How to stop imposing on a man
You need to work on yourself. It does not matter whether the relationship has already begun between you or not yet. Your job is not to spoil either one.
And here’s how you can do that:
- First and foremost, admit there’s a problem.
Until you see that you’ve become obsessive, you can’t change anything. And it will continue until you see the problem with your own eyes. It’s important to acknowledge the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be. Only then will the solution to that very problem be found.
- Be realistic.
Don’t wallow in your fantasies. Often the desire to be as close to a person as possible is fueled by your own fantasies. Find some slightly repulsive flaw and focus on it.
That way you’ll realize that in front of you is not a deity to be touched, but an ordinary person.
- Don’t seek contact with his surroundings.
You don’t have to take in all his friends and family at once. Don’t run to subscribe to everyone he tags in his Instagram photos. You’ll look like a crazy groupie who follows his life and wants in too much.
Stay detached. Let them sign off on you and you’ll think about it some more.
- Stop stalking.
Yeah, sometimes it’s itchy to go in and see “what he’s up to on Instagram.” Or compare when he and his ex were online. It’s hard to resist, but you don’t have to keep doing it because you might make a mistake.
By winding yourself up full-on, you’re bound to find what you’re looking for. But it won’t actually turn out to be a horrible compromise, just a misunderstanding. If you’re looking for signs of cheating, you’re bound to find them.
So, stop playing “Sherlock” and give yourself a quiet breather. Imagine someone doing the same thing to your social media page.
- Restore mutual trust.
If this situation has arisen in an existing relationship, you will most likely have to deal with it together. On your part, you need to loosen your grip and stop being pushy. And your man needs to help you do that.
Talk frankly and learn to trust each other completely. Then the likelihood of starting to intrude again will drop to zero.
- Give your man freedom.
Do not torture him with questions, react calmly to his meetings with friends and the fact that he wants to sit in a closed room. Personal space is important to anyone. And time alone with yourself is of great value.
If you give your partner more freedom, it will only improve your relationship.
- Don’t rule out socializing with other men.
You don’t have to go on dates with everyone. But you can respond to offers to get acquainted, and spend a couple of nice evenings texting. Thus, you will not bore the object of his sympathy, and do not spend a boring time.
- Pay attention to yourself.
You are so used to living the life of the object of adoration, that you have lost yourself. It’s time to fix it. Remember what you liked to do before, and revive your hobbies. Start dressing the way you like to dress again, not for attention.
Try in every way to draw attention away from the man you like, be yourself and enjoy it. Then your attractiveness in the eyes of others will increase significantly.
- Listen to what he says.
If he is constantly hinting that he has no time, he can not meet, can not go out with you on a break, then leave him alone. You don’t have to pummel him with “when?” questions. At best, you’ll make him twist and lie, and at worst, you’ll end up being rude.
You’ve been told almost explicitly that you’re imposing. You don’t need any more arguments.
A relationship is always a work in progress. Both on the relationship and on your own personality. In order not to ruin your feelings at the root, you need to reconsider your behavior and develop an optimal strategy of “conquest.
In order not to destroy what you already have, you will also have to make an effort. Maybe even ask your partner for help.