Stages of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship: the 10 stages
Every love experience, every romantic story is unique. But despite the voiced uniqueness, you can identify the stages of the relationship between a guy and a girl that are common to most couples in love.
Relationships, like life itself, have their stages, which, like prearranged tests, test the lovers for their compatibility.
Surely you’ve known a guy and a girl who seemed to be made for each other, but after a while their relationship resembled not the bright flame of flaming love, but an extinguished fire of regret and disappointment.
Most likely, at some point in the development of their relationship their feelings were not tested by external events and internal convictions, which caused not strengthening, but separation of the love union.
For the resulting romantic interaction between a man and a woman into a strong relationship, it takes time, and only a few manage to find the right person without first having an alternative experience.
If you allow your relationship to develop at a deliberate leisurely pace, you can get to know your other half well enough to go through life’s challenges together.
The initial stage of the romantic experience may seem the most exciting and thrilling, but as the relationship progresses, the emotional background becomes less vivid than it was in the beginning, while the overall communication does not cease to be as valuable and enjoyable.
Understanding the specifics of the various stages of a man/woman relationship will help you not feel anxious when you notice changes occurring.
Allow things to unfold naturally, observe and don’t worry.
The 10 Stages of a Boy-Girl Relationship
1. Infatuation (falling in love)
Being near a girl who is the addressee of your feelings and even just thinking about her makes your heart race, butterflies flutter in your stomach, involuntary smile on your face and joy on your soul.
The most appropriate word to describe what is happening now between lovers is passion.
The only thing that is interesting to you at this stage is the object of your feelings. But even though everything else seems secondary, you look at the world as if it has taken on new colors.
At this stage of the relationship, you both overlook each other’s flaws and focus only on the positive qualities.
But even if some of the negative aspects come to your mind, you find them overly cute, emphasizing the uniqueness of your chosen one.
During the candy and bouquet period, you can’t tear yourselves away from each other. Everything about this person puts you in a state of indescribable delight.
In order not to lose face, you are very active and strive to look your best in the company of your companion.
This is a very joyful and emotional stage, but it can’t last forever without transforming into something else.
At this stage you begin to get to know each other better. You have long deep intellectual conversations that last until late at night. Everything about your chosen one interests you and fascinates you.
You share and get information about your relatives, your exes, likes and dislikes, views and interests, and life seems so beautiful and romantic.
Although you are still strongly attracted to each other, you can talk without being distracted by the intimate aspects of the relationship.
At the current stage, you may begin to notice each other’s flaws that were present before, but the euphoria of the previous stage of relationship development, playing the role of rose-colored glasses, did not allow you to focus properly.
After the first few months of being in love, when you tried your best to avoid any conflict situations, you gradually begin to notice that your other half is not perfect.
This is one of the stages that will determine the future fate of the relationship: it is expected to develop or collapse.
Nevertheless, at this stage you feel some relief, because you are no longer pressured to conform to the idealized image of perfection.
3. A Confrontation with Reality.
The unbridled passion begins to wane, and this stage of the relationship is an important stepping stone to the emergence of something more serious.
At this stage, the couple may have their first quarrel. Although the manifestation of conflict is obvious, it is quickly resolved. You begin to work out ways to deal with disagreements, building communication in a way that works for both of you.
You become even more aware that you are human, and you are not perfect.
Nevertheless, for many, this stage is one of the most difficult because communication can reach a love dead end.
Some couples who find themselves unable to overcome the resulting barriers will break up.
4. Intermediate Conclusions.
At this point, you both form an objective opinion of each other.
After a considerable amount of time together, you know very well what you can expect from each other, and are able to assess your girlfriend, and she – you, for the suitability of the role of the partner for the development of a harmonious relationship.
Some people get disappointed when they start to realize that the idealized image and the real person are not identical concepts, and the degree of mismatch available is not what they hoped for at the beginning of communication.
5. Compromise .
Having your own expectations of your ideal partner, each of you can begin to push each other toward an internal transformation.
No one likes this stage because it involves, as much as possible, subtle influence on your other half, trying to change their behavior and habits to suit your needs, which is very often a futile exercise, even if the initiative to improve the love union is at the heart of such an effort.
The cornerstone is the problem of compromise, as well as determining the status of the main person in the relationship. If both partners are trying to dominate, the power struggle can put a cross in the relationship.
You have to decide what are the fundamental things for you, whether you are willing to compromise and whether you want to. Maybe next to you is not “your” person.
But no matter how annoying the current stage, it allows you to understand the expectations of lovers, and depending on the level of compatibility in a couple may well pass, not characterized by a conflict situation.
If the relationship continues to develop, it means that you are well suited to each other. Everything seems fine to you, and you are happy being near your companion.
At this stage you both feel like the perfect couple. You may even decide to propose marriage to the girl.
Such a happy period is characterized by deep affection, when you both feel a strong connection with each other and are sincerely in love.
7. Doubts .
After a year or a few years since you have already been together, doubts may begin to creep in, the intensity of which depends on how happy the couple is in the relationship.
A clear understanding comes to you about what you can expect from your girlfriend and what your girlfriend can’t give you. And vice versa.
You may begin to remember past relationships, your exes, or reflect on other girls. You start comparing your relationships to those of people you know.
You may be mistakenly attributing your current level of life satisfaction to your relationship, i.e. you may be mistakenly blaming your lover for your negative emotional state, even though the cause is quite different.
At this point, you examine the negative aspects you have and determine whether they can be dealt with in the short or long term. Quarrels are likely, and the viability of the relationship depends on the couple’s willingness to work together.
Will your relationship survive this phase? Most likely, if your love union has not turned into a monotonous routine, the attitude towards each other is not taken for granted, and your compatibility is at a satisfactory level.
Of course, you may not like some aspects of your other half, but if they are not critical for you, it is normal.
It is likely that you are under pressure under the influence of this insidious stage, and you should not jump to conclusions.
At this stage in the development of a man/woman relationship, intimacy begins to play a key role.
Your love preferences may change, or one of you may have a decreased level of s*xual interest.
In that case, one of the partners will have to accept a situation characterized by a lower level of passion, or the couple will find ways to make the love experience more exciting.
In general, between 6 months and 2 years from the start of a relationship, intimacy becomes a bit boring, and that’s normal. But if your passions become significantly different, one partner may have an affair on the side.
However, if you get creative by making the s*xual side of communication more vibrant and diverse, your relationship can become even better and bring you even closer.
In addition, you can include in your pastime plans new activities together or visits to new interesting places, which will saturate your communication with pleasant memorable emotions.
At this stage, you are very happy and there is trust and sincere feelings in your hearts. You have come a long way together and know that you will support each other no matter what.
This is an amazing stage in the development of your relationship.
Now you both perfectly understand the direction of your life together, are completely satisfied with each other, and it is easy for you to predict the behavior and decisions of your other half.
Keep in mind, however, that with stability, the desire to start taking each other for granted can creep into love.
Therefore, no matter how pleasant and relaxing this stage is, its onset is not a reason to stop appreciating each other and start treating the love partner lightly, forgetting the need for responsible behavior diluted with romance.
You’ve gotten to know each other on a deeper level and developed a higher level of trust. You’ve found the person you want to be with, and now you may well be willing to make a commitment to each other.
Many couples at this stage decide to formalize their relationship. Most get married after about two years from the start of the relationship. However, each couple is unique, and the specified time frame may vary.
But this is not the final stage, but the stage of continuing your development. You’ve decided to be together, building your future together, and that’s fine.
You have a strong and healthy foundation for a harmonious relationship that allows you to solve life’s problems together.
How long does each stage of the relationship last
The duration of each stage of the relationship between a man and a woman depends on their characteristics, developed in a particular couple, so there can not be a universal and unambiguous answer.
The biggest problem many lovers face is the fading of romance as they move from one stage of the relationship to the next.
It’s impossible for things to be as magical as they were in the first stage, or you’d just get tired in the long run.
It’s not uncommon for the lack of romance to push one partner into the arms of someone else. In such a situation, it’s wise to ask yourself what is the person really looking for in a relationship?
One of the reasons why relationships fail is the lack of understanding that a permanent desire for each other in a s*xual way, as well as an endless stream of romance, is impossible in principle.
It is necessary to remember that a deep emotional connection established between a guy and a girl is much more important than fleeting emotional outbursts associated with lust.
Of course, we should not forget about the importance of systematic romantic manifestations, but the need to hyperbolize them is not the most effective and expedient approach.
What makes a relationship successful
1. overcoming conflict effectively.
Some people do not like to be in conflict situations, trying to avoid them in every way. Others are just waiting for a convenient excuse to have a conflict duel.
However, no matter how great the couple is, it is almost impossible to completely avoid discord in a relationship.
But what distinguishes successful couples from the rest is the ability to effectively resolve conflict situations.
Lovers who have gone through all phases of a relationship without tangible problems know how to resolve arising disagreements in a calm and rational manner. They don’t yell, call their partner names or humiliate them.
Instead, they act as a team, trying to find a solution that is in the best interest of each of them, or is optimal given the actual conditions. They see themselves as like-minded, not as competitors.
2. S*xual compatibility.
In the initial stages of a relationship, especially the first one, s*xual attraction is most pronounced.
Most lovers simply can’t tear themselves away from each other and are practically obsessed with their other half. But this state of affairs, of course, cannot last forever.
Therefore, in order to maintain a happy relationship in the long run, people must be s*xually compatible.
The systematicness and other features of lovemaking must meet the needs of both partners.
3. shared values
At the beginning of communication, the couple is mostly focused on the intimate side of communication.
But if you want your relationship to grow into a strong and long-lasting union characterized by a sincere and deep emotional connection, it is advisable to hold the same views and life values.
Areas in which you should be compatible are decency, level of upbringing and education, commonality of views on important aspects of life, on your future and the future of your relationship, the role of a man in a woman’s life and vice versa, the desire for self-development, etc.
It will be difficult for you to build a harmonious relationship if there are obvious differences in your fundamental views on life.
4. Similarity of personality traits
There is an opinion that opposites attract. And indeed, at first such people may seem attractive for each other, but they are unlikely to build a long-term relationship.
If a guy and girl have a different inner world, are different in personality, when, for example, one of them is an introvert who likes home stays in a quiet atmosphere, and the other – sociable personality with the makings of a naturalist traveler, who appears at home, just to spend the night, they are likely to have problems.
Significant differences in personality traits will not allow you to fully understand each other, and without mutual understanding, such a serious project as a relationship with a high probability of subsequent stagnation and elimination.
5. Common goals in a relationship
Some people may have completely uncomplicated goals, such as an affair without commitment or just having a good time together.
When such people meet, their relationship will work out just fine. But if one of them is in search of an affair and the other has the goal of starting a family, the result will be some misunderstanding.
So there’s no reason to waste your time on people whose goals are different from yours, or who are completely unprepared to realize those goals.
6. Eliminating Toxicity
Individuals believe that violence is a natural part of relationships. They may have been raised in a family where their parents abused each other with enviable consistency. And it is possible that they can also attract an abusive partner.
But in a harmonious relationship, there is no place for violence: neither mental, nor emotional, nor physical.
In addition, you should seriously think if your behavior is trying to regulate by aloofness and refusal to make love, or if your love partner has a number of addictions, such as hobbies, money, hobbies, bad habits and addictions, parents or past relationships.
You should be able to filter your life from people whose relationships do not improve the quality of your life, but only create problems.
7. Don’t let your past affect your current relationship.
There can be stressful periods in every love relationship, and at such times, it’s important not to try to compare your relationship to someone else’s.
You and someone else are different people, and each couple’s experience, as well as the accompanying experiences, are unique. Likewise, the stages of a relationship can be different from couple to couple.
Your past experiences are sure to have some influence on your current love union, but it is important that this influence not have a negative effect.
Remember that your new relationship is different from anything you have experienced in the past, and that your current significant other is not your ex.
When your relationship is one of love, support and understanding, it is much less likely to be toxic.
You can achieve a happy relationship if you know each other’s love language.
Saying “I love you,” giving compliments, giving gifts, touching your other half, doing something nice for her and just having a good time together are all great ways to keep love in a relationship in the long run.
If you’ve become a friend to a girl without managing to become her boyfriend, then you’re in a friendzone and you’re in trouble.
But if you’re a couple where true love reigns supreme, each of you should not only be a love partner, but also your best friend.
Knowing that you will be supported and understood by the person you love is very important. Then any problems in life automatically turn into temporarily unresolved tasks.
All about the relationship between a guy and a girl. Where do they start and what are the main stages?
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All about the relationship between a guy and a girl. Where do they start and what are the main stages?
It is impossible to give a precise definition of the relationship between a guy and a girl. In terms of psychology, it’s a union of souls. In terms of biology it’s a chemical reaction.
Some people fall in love in their youth and live together all their lives, while others find their love at a mature age.
There are as many relationship plots as there are people on the planet. But they all follow a few general principles. It helps to understand from a young age what mistakes not to make and how to strengthen the union and make it happy.
What is a relationship between a guy and a girl?
Each of us is born surrounded by loving relatives. We grow up observing the pattern of behavior in the relationship between our parents and take it as a role model. As we become adults, we begin to look for our mates.
Depending on the worldview developed during our past lives, relationships will take shape. One partner may dominate the other or the relationship between a guy and a girl may be equal.
If the views on life of both lovers coincide, it can grow into a strong union. In this regard, there are several types of relationships between young people :
- Passionate . Based on the bodily attraction to each other, and the partners may not coincide completely on the psychotype. Therefore, the union can end as quickly as it began.
- Sensual. They usually begin with the fact that the guy or girl has feelings for a representative of the opposite sex. This is followed by a declaration of love and, with mutual sympathy, the beginning of a relationship. The strength of this union is 50/50.
- Common interests. A couple always has something to discuss during a walk or a date. Events may develop slowly, but eventually grow into strong love.
- Mutual support . Feelings are based on teenage maximalism, the desire to resist laws and patterns. As a rule, such relationships are bright and memorable, but doomed to break up.
Important: Teenagers in love think that the feelings between them will last a lifetime and will be as passionate as the first day. But statistically, first love ends in separation.
What is their basis?
Lovers expect respect from their partners. This is the main basis of the relationship between the couple. It means, first and foremost, the ability to accept the other half as she is . Each person has weaknesses and strengths of character, as well as habits and outlook on life.
If young people want to keep their feelings for a long time and not break up soon, they need to learn to respect each other.
To do this, they need to stop pointing out their partner’s shortcomings, teaching them how to live their lives properly, and give them freedom of action and support.
The second important component of a successful relationship is trust. This quality helps to avoid conflicts and to keep warm feelings. Distrust and jealousy will not be tolerated by any person.
In young couples jealousy is the main reason for breakups. A casual glance or a carelessly said phrase may lead to this. Some guys and girls can be so suspicious that they do not give peace to live their loved ones, constantly terrorizing her separation.
Attention! Jealousy does not appear from nothing. Very often a man equates his partner with himself and would allow himself to cheat.
How do they begin?
At the heart of the beginning of a relationship between a guy and a girl can be several reasons :
- Falling in love;
- a logical choice;
- An accidental kiss or sex.
The beginning is always full of dreams and hopes. Young people try to please each other, show their best sides. During this period you should not think about whether this feeling will become serious, but just enjoy each other’s company.
During this period it is important to pay attention to what you feel for your partner . Are you comfortable in his society, what feelings you have for him.
It is worth noting! If the relationship is very painful for you, then they should interrupt, so that then it will not become even harder.
If you like a young man or a girl, it is important to think about how not to spoil the relationship from the very beginning. The first thing you need to remember that you are different people and not to limit each other’s freedom. Do not every free minute to call or write. Leave time for your affairs and hobbies.
The second mistake made by many people during the start of the relationship is the complete dissolution of the partner. Do not indulge all the desires of his partner, even if you are in love. You should have your own point of view on the situation. Otherwise, you will quickly bore your partner, and feelings will end.
All relationships, before becoming a strong union, go through several stages.
If partners will withstand each stage with dignity, they will be rewarded – true love.
First – attraction and idealization
The first 2-3 months the guy and the girl are attracted to hormones. They are what cause the physical attraction between partners. After this time, hormones subside and other feelings take the place of passion.
This period is filled with flirting, courtship, dating, and first kisses. Because of the high level of hormones in the blood young people are overwhelmed by happiness and they see the world “with rose-colored glasses. From this it seems that the relationship will remain so for life.
This period is marked by the fact that partners idealize each other, do not notice the shortcomings, consider their chosen one the best of all.
Important: If you want a long relationship, it is worth to remember the moment when you appreciated each other’s virtues and remember, being in a quarrel or if there is a desire to break up.
The second – oversaturation and disgust.
After 2-3 months of dating comes the first period of testing feelings. Hormones are no longer raging and you begin to think about the relationship from a practical side. During this period there is a habit, partners relax and show their real character.
Because of this, all flaws are revealed and the first disagreements arise. During this period, it seems that the best way out would be to break up, but it’s not that simple.
Even if you find another partner, this stage you will not be able to avoid.
The third is patience and respect.
If you decide to stay in the relationship, you will move on to the next stage. Along with this you will gain wisdom and experience. Quarrels with your loved one will become rare, there will be long conversations and discussions about existing problems.
It will encourage the emergence of such a feeling as respect, which will be the first sign of true love.
From this moment you will not want to demand reciprocal feelings from your partner, but on the contrary, there will be a desire to give him your warmth and tenderness. You will become really close people who can trust each other with any feelings.
Learn more about the stages of the relationship from this video:
It takes a long time to get to true love by going through difficult situations together and making the right decisions. True feelings are not something that is suddenly given to you from the sky, as almost everyone thinks. One matures for true love by giving up selfishness and prejudice.