How does a man know he loves you?

Does a man love you? 23 clear signs to figure it out

Are you in a relationship that you think is going well, but you’re not quite sure if the feeling is mutual? You wonder, “Does he love me?” You realize you love your man, but does he love you back?

We can all feel insecure from time to time, especially when it comes to vulnerability in a relationship and the risk of heartbreak.

It’s natural to look for confirmation that your partner really loves you if he hasn’t already said those three short words – or even if they have been said.

Sometimes small actions or words spoken can make you wonder if your boyfriend feels as strong feelings for you as you do for him.

If your man doesn’t show certain actions toward you at some point, you can easily interpret this as a lack of interest in yourself.

But all your attempts to figure out if your man loves you don’t clarify the situation.

Then you need to know the proven signs that his love is real. Then you will be sure that your relationship is on the right track.

How do you know if a man loves you?

Aside from asking him directly, “Do you love me?” there are many clues you can look for to get an answer to this question.

The most important clues lie in his actions, not his words.

People in love treat each other lovingly, emotionally and consistently. They don’t say one thing and do another. They don’t consider wasting time with you instead of flirting with other women.

Is he acting like a man in love? If so, that’s probably how it is.

Studies have shown another important clue as to whether your boyfriend is in love with you is what he thinks of himself. Being in love increases self-esteem and confidence and makes you feel like anything is possible.

Is your man pleased with himself and ready to conquer the world? It’s quite possible that his feeling of love for you inspires his self-confidence. And you inspire him to be a better man.

What’s in this article

Does my man love me or not? 23 signs that he does.

Let’s look at some of the actions you may notice in your lover that reveal the depth of his feelings for you.

He’s sharing intimate things with you

Sharing intimate things is the first key to deep communication and one of the signs that he’s falling in love with you. If your man loves you, he’ll want to share the details of his day with you and his innermost thoughts and desires.

He’ll also want to hear about what’s going on in your life, and he’ll do his best to keep the lines of communication open.

Some guys are more outgoing than others, but if he makes an effort to let you into his inner world and seems genuinely interested in yours, then you can understand that this is a sign that he loves you.

He looks you in the eye.

This may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sure sign that he genuinely cares. If he looks you in the eye when you’re talking, you know he’s paying attention to you .

Especially when you really want to have a deep discussion, if he gives you his full attention and turns to you, it shows that he is interested in what you are saying.

Eye contact alone can’t mean love, but when he looks into your eyes, do you see a reflection of the depth of his feelings? Is there adoration and tenderness in his expression?

These are sure signs that he loves you.

He gives to you.

Real love is about giving. When you love someone, you want to give them everything – and it’s not about material possessions.

You want to be a better partner for your loved one, to make them happy and make their life better.

Love shows itself in action. If you’re wondering, “Does he really love me or is he using me?” The most basic indication of the answer is the actions he shows to give you all he can.

When you love someone, generosity and selflessness become natural. You want to put your loved one first. If your man gives to you, he loves you, too.

He makes you his priority.

Everyone’s schedule is overloaded with work, school, or other responsibilities. If your man loves you, he will make you his priority in his life.

If he really doesn’t have time to spend one day with you, he’ll make an effort to let you know as soon as he’s free. When a man loves you, he tries to make room for you in his life because you are his top priority.

Some guys may say they love you, but then become physically or emotionally unavailable. You have mixed feelings that confuse you and make you feel insecure.

Your man will want to spend time with you (maybe not around the clock) because your presence is important to him.

He asks you for advice.

You know your guy loves you when he shows you that he values your opinion by asking for your advice and comments. No matter what size the problem is, he will ask you what you think because he respects you.

And respect and love go hand in hand.

Even though there are other people in his life, if a man loves you, he will value your opinion more than that of others . He will want to please you by making the right choices, and he knows you won’t lead him in the wrong direction.

He sends you morning messages .

When you’re the first thing on his mind in the morning, then you know the answer to the question, “Does he love me?” is a resounding “Yes!”

Some guys may try to hold back their feelings and resist the urge to text you first thing in the morning, but if your man loves you, he won’t feel the need to hold back his feelings.

He’s so in love that he wants to get in touch with you to start his day with a dose of happiness . He doesn’t need to play coldly with you, he can afford to be vulnerable and gentle with you because he feels safe enough with you.

He wants you to be a part of his life and his future.

He wants to get to know your family and your friends, and he wants them to like you, wants them to approve of your choices about him.

He’s trying to understand them and make a positive first impression. He’s also trying to get to know you better by asking about your activities and hobbies so he can connect with you on a deeper level.

He also wants to bring you into his life and introduce you to all the people who are important to him.

He wants everyone he cares about to love you as much as he does.

When he talks about the future and his big life plans, he also includes you in those plans. When he mentions his goals for the next year or five years, you are part of the plan-or at least he hints at it.

He can’t imagine a future without you.

He communicates with you throughout the day.

When you fall in love, you begin to care about your partner as much as you care about yourself.

Every time, after he’s had a tough exam or been in a stressful meeting, you communicate with him. You want to know if his day is going smoothly, or you just want to hear his voice.

You realize that the man you love loves you if he’s communicating with you throughout the day, even if there’s no reason for it .

He remembers the little things .

When a guy isn’t serious about you, he won’t try to remember your birthday or the tiny bits of information you tell him, like that you drink coffee in the morning.

He may care about you, but he doesn’t want to make the extra effort to really get to know you and pay attention to your likes and dislikes.

When a man really brings up little things that are important to you in some way, know that he listens to everything you say, and in the process he falls in love with you.

If you’re wondering, “Does he love me or not?” pay attention to his willingness to get to know you and care about you, mindful of the little things.

He misses you when you’re not around

Men tend to understand what keeps them close to a woman when they are given a little distance.

He can show you all the love in the world, but what goes on in his head when you’re away? Does he call you to tell you he misses you, or does he unplug all day and then apologize for being busy?

When you’re in love, you crave your partner’s presence and miss him when you’re apart. That doesn’t mean you think about him every minute, but the thought of your partner always stays in your head .

When something happens, you want to tell him, or if something reminds you of him, you start thinking about what he’s doing now.

If a man loves you, he will contact you and tell you what made him think of you.

He will do whatever he can to make your life easier.

Men will make themselves uncomfortable just to help the woman they love .

If you need a ride, he’s willing to change his route and pick you up, or he can go to the store and buy whatever you need without having to ask him for it.

It’s not hard for him to go the extra mile for you because he enjoys pleasing you.

He’s obviously happy to see you.

Love makes people happy. Love is joy. When we are full of wonderful memories and thoughts of a great future together, we smile all the time .

If he smiles ear to ear and lights up every time he sees you, then he clearly loves you. You add a spark to his life and make him feel happy and alive.

He protects you and looks out for your well-being.

He makes you walk on the sidewalk because a car might come out and he can protect you with his body. He has to make sure you’re okay, and if you’re not feeling well, he’s always there for you because he feels like you need him and he needs you.

If a man lets you through, it means he loves you and cares about your well-being .

He doesn’t have to be a fighter to protect you in time when you are in danger. He reacts quickly to anything that threatens you.

He shares with you.

If a man gives you the side of the bed that you prefer, even if it is his favorite side, it shows that he is putting your desires before his own.

If he gives you most of his sandwich, the last piece of dessert, a window seat on the plane, he’s doing it because he thinks you’re his better half and he adores you.

It’s not just about sharing, it’s about giving . For a man who loves you to give you more than he has himself is the same as if he were keeping it for himself. When you are happy and satisfied, it makes him happy.

He keeps you in the loop.

If a man loves you, he will keep you informed, even if he doesn’t need to.

For example, if you send him a text and don’t hear back within two hours, he’ll apologize for the delay in replying and tell you he was in a meeting or his phone wasn’t around for some reason.

Even if you don’t need to explain anything, your man will show you that he cares and is attentive to your feelings .

He doesn’t want you to think he’s ignoring you or that there’s something more important going on in his life than you.

He likes being around you and touching you .

Some men won’t show sexual affection if they don’t feel love. A guy may hold you close to him during sexual intimacy, but once you’re done, you’ll likely notice him slowly turning away to the other side of the bed.

However, when a man loves you, he wants to hold you tight all night and finds reasons to touch you during the day.

He will want to increase physical contact and touching you to show how much he cares about you.

Remember that some guys are naturally more affectionate than others, so a lack of touching doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you. But a certain display of affection and touch of a non-sexual nature is a good sign of his great feelings for you.

He’s changing his habits for the better.

If a guy loves you, he will give up some habits that can make you happy.

Maybe he smokes, but he knows smoking bothers you, so he can quit, or maybe he’s used to going out with friends on Thursdays, but you’re home that day, so he starts staying home with you instead.

If a man wants to build his life around you, it’s because he sees you for the long haul of his life.

He tells you his secrets.

Men can be closed people and are reluctant to talk openly about feelings and insecurities. It is not easy for men to reveal their personal information, especially if it is very personal or painful.

People often keep secrets for fear of being judged by others, but if he feels comfortable enough with you and is open and sincere, it means he trusts you and loves you enough to be vulnerable around you.

He is proud of you and tells other people about it.

He brags to his friends and family about your accomplishments or the great things you are doing in your life.

He is proud to call you his soul mate and wants other people to know how good you are too.

When you achieve a goal or do something well, he shows that he really cares about you and is genuinely happy for you. He’s not jealous of your accomplishments, and they don’t threaten his self-confidence.

He helps you feel better about yourself when things are going wrong.

Everyone has mood swings. Even if you have severe mood swings and if your man loves you, he will be there for you in times of need and won’t judge you for being in a bad mood.

Instead, he will listen and support you, or find a way to make you laugh. A loving partner understands when to give you time alone and when to join in and help.

He won’t get annoyed if you snap at him, but will be understanding and patient.

He makes his plans around you.

A friend is coming from out of town in two weeks, but first he’ll ask you if you both have plans before he tells his friend he’s available.

He wants to include you in the plans he makes with his friends because you are a big part of his life .

He won’t start planning a trip until he’s sure you’ll have just as much free time, and he definitely won’t look at new apartments without consulting you first.

He does random good deeds.

You probably didn’t expect to see flowers there when you got home, but he knows you love them and just wanted to see you smile.

You also didn’t expect to wake up to your favorite coffee from the local coffee shop on your bedside table, but that’s how he wanted to start your day.

He finds small ways to make you happy, even if they seem insignificant. These little acts of kindness are a sure sign that love is in the air.

He’s putting effort into the relationship.

Do you want to know if he loves you? He puts his all into the relationship and strives to make it work. He’s not willing to give up on you without a fight.

Even if you show him your worst side and think no one wants to be with you after you misbehave (misbehave), he won’t give up on your relationship.

When a man loves you, he will never leave you hanging-not because he has to be there for you, but because he wants to be there for you.

How, according to psychologists, can you tell if a man really loves you for real?


How to understand that a man really loves you? Psychologist’s opinion on this subject can not be unambiguous, because all people are different and show their feelings in their own way.

Everyone has special features, as well as circumstances in which the interpretation of certain behavioral changes can be really ambiguous. On the other hand, there are certain nuances that answer a common female question, “How do you know if a man loves you or not?”

Opinion of psychologists about men’s feelings and affections

The opinion of psychologists regarding certain emotional states can not be unambiguous. No self-respecting psychologist dares to equate all under one roof. Psychologists do not consider love as banal chemistry or the instinct of reproduction. They agree that love as such is dictated by both inner impulses and social nuances, but is still based on something instinctive. Roughly speaking, man loves, and society dictates how to love.

Psychologists believe that society imposes certain stereotypes on men. This also applies to expressions of love. For example, a man is supposed to be always the initiator of the relationship. And there is also the view that he should always give flowers to girls if he loves her. And give some silly toys, again, if he loves her.

Psychologists have an opinion that this is the pattern that most people follow, even if it is against their nature. This is the original problem of understanding men’s feelings. If socially acceptable patterns of behavior in case of falling in love disgust him, but he forces himself to follow them, it often looks ridiculous and insincere. The result: a man is understood distorted, and the woman is intensively asking advice from girlfriends and psychologists on the strange behavior of a young man.

How do men love?

In different ways. Therefore it is impossible to say unequivocally how to understand that a man loves for real.

Women, unfortunately, quite often interested in some amorphous external manifestations, which are usually artificial.

Candy, flowers, compliments and invitations to the restaurant are not signs that a man loves you, this is just the most banal and hackneyed type of courtship.

How do you know if a man loves you without knowing his personality? Psychologists are sure that everyone has something really special going on inside.

  1. There are men who love loudly. They can not and do not consider it necessary to keep their feelings inside, so they start doing really amazing things. They, if they love, talk a lot and do a lot. As a rule, they are extroverts.
  2. Some men love in silence. They keep the feeling somewhere inside them, it inspires them. They don’t have the need to let everyone know that they love, they just have to feel it. They can always really understand and listen to you, and they also rarely lie when they love.

These are just examples, individual opinions. Some jump around and are in a euphoric state, and some quietly radiate warmth from within. If you really know the man yourself, you have a better chance of figuring out that he does love you than outside psychologists do.

How do you know if it’s true love for real?

If you want, you can find thousands of instructions and opinions of psychologists on how to know that a man loves you. Do they really work? Psychologists distinguish three categories of interaction between a man and a woman, by which you can try to understand whether he loves you.


Psychologists are sure that this is really the most important point, not chatter and facial expressions. After all, it makes sense.

How do you know that a man loves you and needs you, if not by what he does towards you. It’s what he does that matters, not what he talks about or how.

To understand that a man really loves, according to psychologists, can help the following manners:

  • he keeps his word;
  • he helps you when you need it;
  • he does not try to limit you;
  • he really tries to understand you;
  • he supports your endeavors and contributes to your further development as a person.

Nonverbal Signs.

Body language won’t answer the question of how to tell if your husband loves you or not. It can tentatively give an indication of interest in you or a desire to ward you off. Or about indifference. But these signs will not give you the opportunity to really understand what’s in a man’s heart.

On his sympathy may indeed indicate the following signs:

  • dilated pupils;
  • observing you in some general interaction with society (for example, when someone jokes, they subconsciously look at your reaction);
  • a sincere smile (with “smiling” eyes – “goosefoots” appear);
  • hands around the waist (pockets, belt) – in this case you can really talk about a specific sexual interest;
  • an attempt to touch (e.g., to put your arm around, to remove a mote).


The conversation itself, the manner of its conduct and, in fact, its content, can let you know that he loves you, only indirectly. Like non-verbal signs, communication can indicate the presence of sympathy and interest in the person rather than the fact that someone really loves someone. Psychologists believe that love is a serious emotional state, not a fleeting burst in the form of butterflies in the stomach.

According to psychologists, a man respects you and is really interested in you if:

  • he is sincere when talking;
  • The conversation he struck up relates to your common topics;
  • man does not try to derail the conversation that concerns you.

How to check that he needs you?

The opinion of psychologists agrees on one thing: if a man needs someone, then he cannot be called truly self-sufficient. To feel defective because of the absence of a man nearby – a sign of lack of autonomy and inability to occupy yourself with anything.

So think a hundred times about whether you really want your young man to need you. Just because he loves you, does not mean that he feels a dire need for you and can not live without you.

What do psychologists advise?

In the question of how to understand that a man loves you, psychology can give some advice that usually women do not like. Why? Because it’s not blaming or analyzing someone else, but taking responsibility for yourself. How do you check if a man really loves you?

You can’t. You probably really can’t. Since of all the people in your environment you are only really responsible for yourself, psychologists suggest to look at the root.

Psychologists believe that if you ask yourself this question, there are two options:

  1. You have low self-esteem, which fuels your doubts about your own attractiveness in the eyes of your chosen one.
  2. You do realize somewhere inside that your actions, your deeds, your very attitude, in the end, cannot contribute to love.

If we talk about self-confidence, here the opinion of psychologists is unambiguous and at the same time banal: if you start to really do it for yourself, your self-perception will change greatly. Do not do it for a man, for the same psychologist or for the page in the social network!

If your goal is to improve these or those facets of yourself, you will feel like a completely different person.

You’ll realize that there’s no point in comparing yourself to others, just as there’s no point in trying to be good for everyone. And questions like “How do you know if a man loves you or not?” you won’t even want to type into the search box. You won’t need to. Psychologists believe that the doubts themselves really won’t be there.

The second option deserves a separate lecture from psychologists. Opinions of psychologists agree that women are often thrown to extremes in relation to members of the stronger sex.

There is an opinion that there are two radical poles, when a woman is really convinced that she is right, but behaves extremely destructive to the relationship.

  • The “I’m a woman, so I’m a goddess” category;
  • ladies who believe that everyone owes them everything simply because they are;
  • hysterical women who turn any substance into a scandal.
  • ardent connoisseurs of the division of functions in life along gender lines;
  • amorphous amoebas who have hidden their opinions in the deepest and ugliest trunk, and now indulge others (including men) in everything;
  • Girls who look up to their man in love and really see him as the meaning of their lives.

Psychologists believe that if you have signs of any of these groups, it’s really time to change something about yourself. If you decide to create a new relationship or develop old ones, with a high probability everything will go according to the usual scenario, where you will find yourself the misunderstood victim and will remain again at the bottom of the barrel.

If you are wondering how to check if a man really loves you, the test will not help. Sure, you can lie about being pregnant and see how he reacts. You can flirt with other men in front of him.

But will his reaction be proof that he loves you? And will your behavior toward the man be truly honest? If not, can you really demand decent treatment from him afterwards?

The opinion of psychologists is that if you are really curious about his feelings, the best “test” will be a human conversation, where you will find out everything for yourself. For the sake of interest, you can study this article. Maybe it will help you in some other way.

Perhaps just using it?

Well, yes, quite possibly. If you look globally, we all use each other. In most cases, of course, psychologists do not deny sincere altruism.

But! Agree that when someone “sacrifices himself,” doesn’t he expect some kind of reaction from the outside? Psychologists believe that this is manipulation in its purest form, which implies getting one’s own benefit.

Think about it: aren’t you using him too? Psychologists advise not to lie at least to yourself. If an honest answer for yourself is positive, then do not be surprised that the use will be mutual. There is an opinion that people around really are mirrors of ourselves, remember that.

If you are diligently searching the web for material on how to figure out whether your husband loves you or not, then:

  • Either there really are some precedents;
  • Or you just bored, so you decided to organize on the spot a problem.

Opinion of psychologists about the second option is unambiguous: in this case it is necessary in the first place to take care of themselves and their development, and not try to look for a catch in the behavior of their men. So let’s talk about the first one.

So, how to understand whether your man loves you or just uses you? If you really want to understand your man, there are telltale signs of his potentially mercenary behavior.

  1. He only reaches out to you when he needs something.
  2. He’s not interested in your personal development, and he will demand that you sacrifice something of yourself for him.
  3. He doesn’t help you unless he’s asked for it a hundred times and in addition promised something in return.
  4. If you have any problems that really need to be solved, he doesn’t have time.

Useful video

The psychology of men in love and relationships is quite contradictory. On the one hand, he wants independence, and on the other – home comfort and attention. The video below should help to understand this a little:

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