How do you know if a man is in love with you? 23 signs
I’ve been in journalism for over seven years now. Half of them as an editor. My weakness is doing mini investigations on new topics.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
Why is he not taking any steps – because he lacks determination, or he just does not have feelings for you? How do you know if a man is in love with you? Is it worth taking everything into their own hands and make the first move? It’s time to find answers to these questions.
Symptoms of falling in love.
There is a high probability that he really is not indifferent to you if:
- He’s starting to behave differently.
Some guys, after realizing they are falling in love, begin to pull away from the girl. Yes, this behavior may not be very logical, but what can you do – humans aren’t the most logical creatures on the planet.
He can be confused and even scared of his feelings, of his helplessness in front of them. Girls can be guilty of this too, can’t they?
If his behavior around you changed dramatically (and yet you did not have any conflicts), look closer to the guy – are you the cause of his discomfort?
- You’re his priority.
Is he willing to rearrange his schedule for you, compromise and do whatever it takes to make you happy? Does he appreciate your needs and desires and sincerely try to please you? This guy seems to really enjoy your company.
- He sets you apart from others
He cares more about you than anyone else. Strikes up a conversation just with you. Tries to impress you with jokes. Looks for eyes in the general company and sends you smiles… Sound familiar? That’s a good sign.
- He cares about your opinion.
If a guy asks for your opinion on issues that are important to him, it can also indicate that he feels sympathy for you.
- He remembers little things about you
He remembers what kind of coffee you prefer and what movie you wanted to go to the movies. He remembers the title of the book you recommended him to read and invites you to the restaurant that makes your favorite pasta. Why does he pay such close attention to these little things? Because they relate to you.
- He shortens the distance between you.
Leans in and moves closer during conversations. Cuddles you when meeting you and holds you so (of course, just for that reason!) You do not stumble. He looks for you in the crowd at a party and immediately rushes to you. Because he wants to be as close to you as possible.
- He protects you
When he’s near you, he immediately turns into a brave knight, ready to protect his princess from the dragon. And it’s not just physical danger. He protects you from all negative influences and does everything to see you smile more often. And for the sake of it he is ready to move mountains.
- He compliments you
On your appearance, your intelligence, your sense of humor and other virtues. Openly express their sympathy in words, he is not ready, so acts “workarounds.
- He wants to please you.
And takes active steps to do so. Trying to cheer you up when you’re sad, gives gifts, invites you for a walk, sends sweet messages, etc. Because he sincerely wants to please you.
“He talks about you all the time!” – Did you hear that phrase from his friends? That’s a great sign! Especially if the guy himself is not very fond of showing his feelings. You’ve really got him hooked, don’t you think?
- He’s always ready to help
Lying at home with a fever, and you’re out of medicine? Or did you have an urgent craving for a popsicle? If he is ready to rush at your first call to solve your problems and problems, then, to this guy definitely worth looking.
- He worries when you fight.
He doesn’t want there to be any conflicts or misunderstandings between you. And genuinely cares when he realizes he’s upset and disappointed you. Because he values your feelings and your attitude towards him.
- He’s jealous of you.
Laughingly telling him about another guy’s advances and he starts to boil over? Throws unfriendly glances at any of your suitors? Sounds like this guy is jealous. And doesn’t want you to get someone else (although excessive and unhealthy jealousy is no longer OK, but that’s not what we’re talking about now).
- He’s interested in your plans for the future.
It’s important to him that you can confide in him and talk about your innermost dreams. He may also want to be a part of your future.
- He supports you
In all or almost all of your endeavors. He calms you down when you fail and emphasizes your strengths in every way. At times he seems to see more good in you than you do, which is how falling in love works.
- When he’s talking to you, he puts his phone away.
He’s looking at you, not at his gadget screen. Because, first, he wants to show his interest and get your affection. And secondly, he does not miss the opportunity to admire you.
- He asks you to write when you get home.
If possible, he will accompany you home himself – it’s another chance to spend time alone with you. If he can’t, he’ll ask you to text or call him to let him know you got home safely. And he really cares – if you forget to text him, he’ll get in touch.
- He invites you into his company
Is your boyfriend always asking you to join his group of friends? That’s great! It means he wants to spend more time with you and gradually make you a part of his life.
In addition, you’ll be able to conduct an investigation. Firstly, you can find out what his environment is like – you can tell a lot about a person from it. And secondly, from the reactions of his friends to you you will be able to understand how often this guy discusses you with them.
- He smiles more when he’s with you.
You always manage to cheer him up, and he doesn’t even try to hide it. His face immediately blurs into a smile – the guy is happy for another opportunity to spend time with a girl he likes.
- He tries to surprise you.
Carefully chooses the place for your meeting. Or his hands prepare dinner. Or arranges your surprises. Or suddenly gives you the gift you’ve been dreaming about. In other words, he’s doing everything he can to make you feel good – just as good as you make him feel.
- He shares his thoughts and feelings with you
Physical intimacy is beautiful, but only with the people closest to our hearts do we dare to be emotionally intimate. Is he willing to share his worries with you and allow himself to be vulnerable? This is a clear sign that he trusts you and sets you apart from everyone he knows.
- He’s trying to share your interests with you.
Your favorite show isn’t his style at all, but he’s willing to watch it with you. Why? Because he wants to get closer to you and have another topic of conversation with you.
- He’ll admit that he’s thinking about you.
He can say it outright or hint at it in every possible way. Because he really has you in his head. And he likes it.
Is it worth making the first move?
If you really like the guy and want you to be together, why not? Especially if you see that he’s also showing you signs of attention and is clearly interested in you. After all, life is too short.
If a guy is by nature insecure and indecisive, you may never wait for him to make the first move. And then, when you’re about sixty years old, you’ll run into each other at the store and realize that you foolishly missed out on your happiness and wasted a lot of time. It’s a frightening prospect, isn’t it?
Before you decide to take that first step, however, think about this:
- You could be wrong.
For some people, flirting is just a form of communication. They can flirt with literally every other person without having strong feelings for anyone. Are you sure your acquaintance isn’t in that category?
Is he always willing to be supportive and come to your rescue? It is quite possible that he is just a very friendly and helpful person. Not just with you, but with everyone in general.
What to do: pay attention to how he communicates with other people. Is he really giving you special attention?
- Your confession could make life difficult for both of you.
Are you in the same company, study or work together? If so, think about whether it’s worth the risk. If he turns you down, you may experience tension that makes you and the people around you uncomfortable. The same thing – if he reciprocates you, you will start an affair, but eventually parted on a not very good note.
What to do: think about whether this man is worth the risk.
- Maybe he doesn’t need any of this.
Is he even ready for a relationship? Does he need this kind of commitment? What if his hesitation isn’t just because he’s afraid of getting rejected by you? What if he’s okay with the easy, playful format of your relationship without any obligations or official statuses?
How have his relationships with ex-girlfriends worked out? Does he know how to take responsibility in different areas of life? Or will he hide in the bushes as soon as you make the first move? You need to find answers to these questions.
What to do: Respond to his flirting. Invite him to a non-committal friendly meeting. His reaction to your actions will already be able to judge whether this guy is worth your efforts or not.
The verdict: If you’re used to taking everything from life, do not like to waste time and are not afraid of possible rejection, then you should definitely take the first step. It’s still better than being in limbo for weeks/months/years and subconsciously shutting yourself off from relationships with other people.
How do you take the first step?
You can ask a guy out, hint to him that you like him in every way (looks, gestures, flirting) or declare your feelings outright. And if you lack determination, read these stories of real girls who took matters into their own hands:
- “I took his phone, entered my number and signed my contact as ‘best girl ever.’ Huh, that was so unlike me! But it ended up working out just fine and spilled over into a relationship that lasted five years,” K, 23.
- “He called me into his workplace. Sitting around, sorting things out. I don’t know what came over me, but I just stood up and walked right up to him. “Well, I certainly can’t concentrate that way,” he said. “Then take a break,” I replied and kissed him,” M, 24.
- “Oh, I always take the first step. I tell you from experience, guys love it when at a party you just walk up to them and take them dancing with you. Also, ladies, it saves you from having to refuse to dance to suitors you’re unsympathetic to,” R, 19.
- “I sent him a link to the Myers-Briggs psychological test. He sent me his result, and we started chatting about it. We have now been in a relationship for over eight months,” K, 24.
- “I’ll just give you some advice: make sure he’s not dating anyone beforehand and don’t confess your feelings on a drunken head. Also, don’t rush things and don’t demand that a guy immediately declare his love for you back,” N, 30.
“How do you know if a man is in love?”
What signs clearly indicate that a man is attracted to you? Reddit girls share their thoughts:
How a man in love behaves: secrets of words and gestures
Women are naturally endowed with a developed intuition that helps them sense other people’s emotions. However, when it comes to relationships, we want more certainty. Knowing, for example, whether you like the young man, it is easier to figure out how to behave and communicate properly.
Men are so proud of their courage and character, that never in their lives will not allow to show weakness. And in relationships: falling in love, will hide their feelings, until they make sure that their chosen one – the one, the only and unrepeatable. To girls do not have to puzzle, here’s how to behave in love man and how to distinguish genuine feelings from a simple infatuation.
The psychology of a man in love
All members of the fair sex dream to be loved. The desire for reciprocal feelings often leads to the fact that ladies incorrectly perceive men’s actions. A simple look in the eyes is regarded as a desire to get closer, and a cheerful smile as a sign of falling in love. This search for reciprocity prevents girls from soberly evaluating the situation. To avoid ridiculous situations, let’s find out how a man in love behaves.
The feeling of falling in love may come unexpectedly, outside of your desire. If the mind will oppose mental impulses, no amount of willpower will not deter a man from changing behavior. Even the most insecure young men with a lot of complexes will certainly change.
No matter how hard a man tries to reject feelings and get rid of attachment, not wanting to admit that he is in love, it is not so easy. If he really likes a girl, it is noticeable.
Male representatives will always choose the girl with whom he feels safe and comfortable. He will not build a joint future with a lady that he is not in love with and does not feel affection for. Even after starting a relationship, he will not be confident in his own choice, constantly looking closely at her. If, however, over time, the young man will be convinced of the correctness of his choice – the feeling will grow into love. But in the case of disappointment you can count on nothing more than friendship.
Psychologists assert that a man in love will behave with restraint, hiding his own feelings until he is sure that he has met the one and is ready to call her his own. But there are verbal and nonverbal signs that can help you understand his attitude.
Reasons why men hide their feelings.
Representatives of the male sex is not typical to openly show their feelings, they prefer to hide their own emotions to the last. But this behavior has a reason:
- Emotions make them vulnerable and vulnerable . Men are afraid that you learn about their feelings, you decide to just use them to achieve personal goals.
- Male representatives, admitting their feelings, not always ready to start a family. So they are afraid that after the words of love elected to pull them into the marriage contract, or want to live together.
- The guy may have an unfinished relationship or a wife. In any case, appreciate it and try to be sympathetic to his silence.
The first signs of a man in love
How does a man in love behave? This is not a mystery. Determine it is easy enough. The behavior of a man who has feelings for you when you meet him changes immediately. The mood rises, he is glowing with happiness.
Some men are trying to be as honest and open, in which case it will be easy to determine his feelings. But more often you can meet a gentleman who will stoically hold on and mask their own love, despite the fire burning inside. Sometimes it may feel that the detached and cold to you, but do not jump to conclusions, it may be completely wrong.
Male representatives in a state of love are prone to impulsive actions. The desire to touch you, to be closer to you sometimes seems rushed. Sometimes it is enough to one enticing glance that he gave you a hug or a kiss. Blame his chosen one in such a hurry is not necessary, because in matters of the heart men lose control over themselves. Especially if he was initially confident, persistent and impulsive.
But a man in love may behave shyly. Often, emerging feelings make the stronger sex to feel vulnerable, they begin to be modest and hesitant to make compliments. Of course, such manifestations of love is not particularly helpful in the development of relationships, but cross them off the list of “symptoms” is not worth it. Often it is the insecurity of the gentleman can help you understand his true intentions.
Behavioral signs of falling in love man
Behavior is transformed simultaneously with the temperament:
- Feelings motivate shy men to loosen up . And they begin to open up and show their feelings not only to their chosen one, but also to society.
- But as for the open and active young people, they tend to close when they fall in love. He needs time to sort out his own feelings. Constant thoughts make him more withdrawn and taciturn.
- The ideal is when a man in love begins to behave like a real adult and manly gentleman: gives flowers and gifts, gallantly opens doors and raises his hand. Among other things, he is interested in your thoughts and judgments, he is interested in all areas of your life.
- A calm by nature a man is not inclined to draw attention to themselves, transformed in your society. He becomes energetic, brightly expresses his emotions, smiles. Such behavior indicates that the guy is trying to hide his true feelings behind a mask of cheerfulness. If you are interested in his true intentions and character – ask his friends to communicate with him outside of your society.
- Constantly looking for an excuse to be near. The young man clings to any opportunity to build a dialogue with you, looking for an opportunity to inadvertently touch. Such behavior with one hundred percent probability indicates that the man is interested in you.
Non-verbal signs of man falling in love
To understand how a man in love behaves, whether he hides his feelings, what his true intentions are, you should pay attention not only to the change in his behavior, but also to the nonverbal signs. These signs are difficult to trace, but they do not lend themselves to control:
- Psychologists are able to immediately determine whether there is sympathy between partners or not, simply by assessing the reaction of people to each other. For example, after making a joke, a man will certainly look at the object of sympathy, he wants to know whether he likes the joke or not, to admire the smile. This happens unconsciously. If the witticism came from someone else, the young man will evaluate the reaction of his chosen one first. Everyone else is not interested in him.
- Gusts of feelings do not allow the man to calm his own hands . He is constantly fiddling with something, moving it in his hands, hiding them in his pockets, exposing his thumbs out. You can catch almost any member of the stronger sex at this.
- A grown man in love acts like a child. He can’t take his eyes off the object of his desire. If you manage to catch his gaze, you will see that he has dilated pupils and raised eyebrows.
The main thing is not to overdo it in your observations. After all, a colleague’s daily address, “Good morning!”, does not indicate that the man is acting this way because he is in love. It is simply politeness and good breeding.
The difference between falling in love and infatuation
First of all, it is worth making sure that the man’s goals are serious. It is important to be careful, otherwise you will simply become a victim of another affair. It is possible that he has no feelings for you, but only wants to satisfy personal needs. The likelihood that he will fall in love, of course, is, but most likely you just become another trophy for him.
Pay attention to some signs. They will help you to understand if a man is in love with you or just infatuated:
- Men are quite conservative in their choice of clothing, but if a cavalier is sincerely in love with you, he will be ready for almost any change. For the sake of satisfying only physical desires, he will not agree to visual changes in the image.
- Watch his gaze. Man, feeling to you only sports interest, will dare to look you straight in the eye. A man in love, in turn, will experience a kind of embarrassment.
- One desire to get to your body is too little to show care. Lack of interest in your life and problems indicates the non-seriousness of the man’s feelings.
- The perpetually hurried cavalier who has no time to talk to you is another example of the fact that you are just a mild infatuation. A truly in love man, even when married, will behave like a true knight, taking an interest in your life and caring about your well-being.
- For a man in love, you will be a muse. He will want to get not your body, but reciprocal feelings.
Ways to check the man’s feelings
Representatives of the male sex are not accustomed to talk about their feelings. So, after receiving a declaration of love, do not rush to rejoice. It is likely that this is a lie to achieve the object of desire or just an exaggeration. Similarly, a man, hiding his feelings in every possible way, may be madly in love with you. To find out the truth of his feelings, you can do a little test:
Direct questions always confuse the man. Ask him, “Are you in love with me?” and watch his reaction. The answer isn’t as important here as the behavioral assessment. If the man is confused, it’s likely he does have feelings for you.
A man who isn’t in love with you will act as if he’s a coworker you asked an inappropriate question – calm himself. Not wanting to talk about his lack of feelings, out of politeness, he’s likely to mumble something ambiguous and vague. Or in general, you may get an answer as if it were a completely different question, something like, “Why not?”
If a man is really in love with you, the cancellation of the date will sincerely upset him. His offense he will express quite brightly. But a man who is not aimed at a serious relationship and only wants to have fun with you, will be as calm as possible in such a situation. Perhaps he will show his dissatisfaction, but it will not hurt him.
But be careful. If he understands that there was no reason to postpone the meeting, that it was only a test, he will change his opinion about you. And not for the better.
Fantasize a serious problem and tell your loved one about it. A man who has true feelings for you, instantly begin to look for ways to fix the situation. He’ll help you and want to know how the whole process is going.
A man who is not in love with you will not be happy if you ask him for help. If there is no love and joint plans, there are no common problems.
This way is the hardest to uncover. The man will never suspect that this is some kind of test. The essence of this method is to start an argument with your friends in which you will defend a point of view opposite to that held by your beau.
Do this experiment and observe how the man will behave. If he is in love, he will support your opinion. If he doesn’t feel it, he will calmly assert his opinion.
See how your chosen one reacts if you start flirting with someone else. A man in love with you, even jealous, will behave like a real gentleman. He will be upset, but will not cause a scandal. Otherwise, you will see how he gets angry and despises you.
For a man in love, there is nothing offensive in your flirting, he is just annoyed. All of his emotions can easily be understood by his facial expression. Don’t torture him too long, your task is only to determine the reaction.
Many ladies do not always trust their own intuition, in which case you can ask friends to get acquainted with your chosen one. From the outside, indeed, you can often see more clearly what is going on. Uninterested people always assess the situation as it is.
For a truly unbiased evaluation, don’t introduce your man to your close friends and relatives. It is better to choose a male friend to check.
Now you know how a man in love behaves and how to determine the sincerity of his feelings. But we do not recommend to focus on the checks. Sometimes it is necessary to wait a little while and the whole truth will reveal itself. After all, true feelings for a long time to hold back just impossible.