How to communicate with others so that they are attracted to you
Not all people on Earth can be the soul of the company or at least like everyone. But do not despair and say to yourself that you are not suitable for that with you want to communicate. There is a way out.
Self-developmental psychology helps people to become rich and successful, but the main indicator of success in our lives is not the thickness of the purse, and the presence of friends and the ability to communicate with all people. When people reach out to you, the financial side of life improves and, of course, the love side. To become a truly happy person is possible only by interacting properly with other people or not interacting at all, but not everyone is going to the Tibetan monastery, so the rules of communication should be taken as an axiom.
Psychology of communication
It is impossible to be a successful person and be a loner at the same time. Living in solitude is the privilege of people who are established and successful. We live in a society. There are 7 billion of us, which is a lot. There are no human-free places left on earth. Even if you are an introvert or just want to find a quiet place for mental relaxation, it will be extremely difficult to do so.
You need to live in communication, learn to live with the people around you in symbiosis, not without them. Communication technology has now reached the point where you can be in touch everywhere and always. If you ignore other people, you are being judged. This is fundamentally wrong, but no one can change humanity. People have never understood those who are withdrawn. They made those people feel ashamed. Being yourself in this world is the hardest thing to do, so you have to blend in with society first and then try to bend your own line.
On the other hand, people aren’t bad – we’re just different. Communication saves from depression and problems that are easier to solve together than alone. The most compelling argument is love. Without love, it’s hard to live. When all the people are drawn to you, then love is very easy.
How to communicate with others
To begin with, remember that you can never show people what you really are. The person you are and the person people around you see are two different people. Accept the fact that society needs a game. Be yourself, but don’t prove anything to anyone.
Rule one: do not try to impose your point of view. This is very important, because when you force someone’s thoughts on them, it’s like fascism. People are afraid of those who try to tame and correct them. Everyone wants freedom and fulfillment, so be diplomatic.
Rule number two: Accept people for who they are. Their skin color, orientation, hobbies, tastes in music, clothing. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Let’s say you dream of having a pink car. There’s bound to be somebody who will tell you that you’re crazy. That’s his opinion, but you will be uncomfortable if he agitates others to think the same. Respect other people’s opinions and tastes, then people will reach out to you immediately.
Rule three: Read as much as you can and learn about the world. You need to be able to talk to people around you on different topics so that they will reach out to you. Watch movies, read. Soak up all the information so that anyone can say, “He’s interesting” or “It’s nice to talk to her.” You don’t have to answer everything people talk about, it’s important to understand them so you don’t look stupid. Become smarter by developing intelligence in the ways described above.
Rule number four: Don’t be an upstart. Don’t brag to people about your accomplishments or your good fortune. No one likes those who set themselves above others. Remember that everyone is unique in some way. Respectfully accept criticism of yourself.
Rule Five: Find a hobby. This can be added to the piggy bank at the moment of communication, because you will be asked what you do in your spare time. The answer such as “I watch TV” most people will be confused, because everyone should have a hobby. Even computer games can be called something remotely resembling a hobby, but not television. Don’t be afraid to call reading or watching movies a hobby, because cinema is also art.
Rule six: do not try to please all. It is simply impossible. Even if you are the best in the world, you will still have enemies and detractors. One example is the Dalai Lama, the spiritual guardian of all Buddhists. He is a diplomat, an intelligent man, a treasure trove of goodness and light, but there are people who do not recognize and despise him for religious reasons or for political reasons. No one can get away from that.
Rule seven: love yourself. The main rule of psychology for people who want to become successful in love and relationships says that you need to accept yourself and your desires, shortcomings and problems. Tell yourself that you love yourself and say that you are worthy of happiness. Set your thoughts on a positive wave.
Rule eighth: take care of yourself. Exercise, keeping yourself toned, give up bad habits and dress as well as possible. The first impression is important for people, so you should always look attractive. Not expensive, but good. That’s two different things. Your shirt should be ironed and your shoes should be clean. Women need to take care of their hair and skin.
The world is tough, but you can adjust to it. You don’t have to bend – interact with people by talking about common topics to find those people with whom you can feel at ease. Your moment of victory over the system will come – you will find someone who understands you wholeheartedly and shares your beliefs, your thoughts. It will be true love and true friendship that you have been missing.
There are many principles of life that you will benefit from. The main principle is the absence of envy and anger. Do not envy or take revenge on anyone. That is the lot of weak people. Let only one good thing live in you.
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How to behave so that people will reach out to you
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Gentle changes in body language and gestures can help you appear more open, especially when you’re trying to attract the attention of strangers or acquaintances. People who already know you will want to have a serious conversation with you if you exude calmness, reliability, and confidence. You will have to make some effort to tune in to this behavior. The more effort you make, the more fruitful your relationship will be in the end.
Take an open posture. Keep your head down and keep your shoulders straight, without throwing them forward. Sitting in a chair, lean back a little and make yourself comfortable. This posture will demonstrate your openness to the world, and not your reticence or unfriendliness.
Keep your arms open. Fold your hands at your sides or in your lap. If you are holding something in your hands or actively gesturing, your hands should be slightly to the side or near your lower torso.  X Source of information Avoid closed postures, do not cross your arms in your lap or across your chest. Enthusiastic poses with your arms raised above your head may alienate people, although this view remains controversial.  X Source of information  X Source of information
- Among other things, smiling can lift your spirits.  X Source of Information
- For a bold flirtation, make eye contact for a few seconds, smile slightly, then slowly turn your head to the side to shift your gaze to something else.  X Source of Information
- For a playful look, cast a brief glance at the person looking in your direction, then quickly look down or the other way and smile.  X Source of Information
Avoid accessories that cover your face. Sunglasses, hats, and scarves can hide your face. Even if they don’t actually cover your face, such things create a subconscious feeling of isolation and closeness.  X Source of Information
Give up things that might distract you. If you’re looking at something on your phone or reading a book, it’s likely that those around you will try not to disturb you. That way you might miss looks, smiles, and other cues that would help strike up a conversation.
Work on your appearance. It may seem unimportant, but someone who takes care of their appearance becomes more attractive. Wear ironed clothes, dress stylishly, or even do makeup.
Try a technique called “posing.” Wear things that will make you stand out from the crowd. It can be a unique ring, a belt, whatever, as long as the accessory is eye-catching. It is with a discussion of these things often begins a conversation.
Pay attention to personal hygiene. Take regular baths or showers, wash your hair, brush your teeth and trim your nails. Wear clean clothes and deal with mold in your home, which can give off an unpleasant odor to clothing or accessories.
- If you have difficulty picking up other people’s signals, learn how to observe people. Develop communication skills to interact more effectively with those around you. Learn to support people when it comes to problems and perspectives.
Give compliments as casually as you can to pleasantly surprise people. For example, as you walk past someone, compliment them on their appearance, actions taken, or character. This way you will raise the person’s spirits and enhance your own reputation as a pleasant person. If you deliberately do this time after time, eventually you will begin to do it on automatic.
- Use open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”
- Change the topic of the conversation depending on the event or place you are in. If most of your potential interlocutors are students, you can talk about the latest news at the university or about topics of study. At concerts and other events you can talk about the band, the person, the art, or what you are there to talk about.
Prepare answers to common questions. Imagine as if someone asks you, “How are you doing?” and you answer, “Fine.” Well, the conversation has come to a standstill. Be prepared for these kinds of general questions and think about how to tell the other person something interesting about your life.  X Source of Information This will allow you to replace awkward silences with actual conversation.
Know how to respond appropriately to cultural biases. Stereotypes, employer policies, and even fashion preferences can make you unacceptable as a conversationalist. Try to learn the ethics of your new city, workplace, or social circle beforehand. Many biases, such as gender, age and ethnicity, cannot be avoided. However, recognize that many of our reactions are unconscious and automatic. They may not reflect the views of the other person. If you begin to work on maintaining a conversation or creating a friendly relationship, you will notice very different responses.
- Avoid topics like politics and religion.
Try to engage people in conversations. Allow new people to join the conversation, introduce them to your interlocutors, or introduce yourself. Give the new person a chance to make a joke if they are confused. Don’t think it’s nice for someone to be left out just because they didn’t fit into the conversation or didn’t receive an invitation to a social event. Make an effort to bond with others, and you can build stronger and deeper friendships.
Take other people’s secrets seriously. Show others that they can trust you. If you always keep your word and live up to the trust of others, even in relationships with those you don’t like at all, those around you will appreciate your mannered behavior. Even if you learn a secret from someone on the outside, don’t spread it around.