How to ask for forgiveness from a guy, a man: effective tips
All couples have quarrels, during which there are hurtful words, reproaches and insults. Sometimes the cause of discord becomes a betrayal or unacceptable behavior of one of the partners. If a girl is guilty, she feels terrible and often does not know how to ask for forgiveness, because her attempts can end with a new scandal. Psychologists give general and individual recommendations on how to ask for forgiveness from a loved one. But there are some things you should never apologize for.
All couples have quarrels, during which there are hurtful words, reproaches and insults. Sometimes the cause of discord becomes a betrayal or unacceptable behavior of one of the partners. If a girl is guilty, she feels terrible and often does not know how to ask for forgiveness, because her attempts can end with a new scandal. Psychologists give general and individual recommendations on how to ask for forgiveness from a loved one. But there are some things you should never apologize for.
General tips
Before you ask for forgiveness from a guy, it is recommended to read the advice of psychologists on how best to organize this conversation:
- call him by his name;
- Do not hide your emotions;
- look in the eyes.
It is possible to apologize publicly, if the girl is sure that she will be forgiven, and the guy will react positively to such an act.
How to ask forgiveness depending on the offense
You should ask for forgiveness taking into account the individual characteristics of each partner and the situation. In doing so, the following goals should be achieved:
- convey remorse, motives for the act and the desire to be forgiven;
- to assure that it will not happen again;
- to arouse emotions and make him/her believe in the sincerity of the apology.
Methods of apology depend on the reason of offence.
Cheating .
Not every man is able to forgive adultery and about this you need to know even before it occurs. But you can try to apologize with the help of general tips and ways like this:
- Write a letter in your own words, in which to pour out everything you are ashamed or afraid to say in person;
- Write a poem in which you can beautifully confess your love and your regrets.
Of fundamental importance in this case is the information that is:
- The absence of feelings for the person with whom the betrayal occurred;
- The admission of his own stupidity;
- A firm conviction that the girl will never do that again;
- A confession of sincere love for the young man and a desire to be with him.
An example of a prose apology address text:
“Before I explain myself to you, I want to confess to you that I love you very much. I have never felt this way about anyone else, ever. The worst thing for me now is to lose you because of my stupidity. What I did was horrible and unacceptable in any normal relationship. But I want to tell you with 100% certainty that I don’t have feelings for that man, that my relationship with him was a mistake, probably the worst mistake of my life.
I imagine your pain and the hardest thing for me is that its cause is my horrible act, I am also very bitter that I made myself suffer. I apologize to you from the bottom of my heart. I dare not even hope, but I would be very happy if you would give me another chance. I promise I won’t let you down, you won’t regret it, I’ll do my best to make you happy. Any decision you make I will respect and understand. If you let us meet, I’ll try to find the right words and explain everything in detail. I love you, forgive me again, I need you, very much, only you.
Such a text can be sent in a letter on paper, in a parcel with a gift, on the Internet, or in an SMS. If the guy is romantic, then it is worth to perfume the paper with his favorite perfume and enclose a joint touching photo.
It is not recommended to publicly apologize for cheating. A man will be very painful to realize that strangers found out that he has the status of a cuckold .
Insulting words.
Insults can be in almost every way, but they should not be the norm. You need to apologize for them in person, but you can also in letters. You need to let your chosen one know :
- That all the nastiness was said in a burst of emotion and rather reflected the girl’s inner state than her sincere opinion of her beloved;
- What the girl sincerely thinks about the beloved;
- what good things there are in this relationship that override the unpleasant impressions of quarrels;
- That such insults will not happen again.
An example of an apology text:
“I’m very sorry I said so many nasty things to you. In my defense, I don’t think and never have thought the things I said about you. The reason for my action is the emotions of anger and resentment that came over me and overshadowed my mind, at that moment I was only capable of such speeches. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I don’t want to hurt you.
You are very kind, generous, considerate, charismatic, goal-oriented, admirable-that’s what I truly think of you. For me you and a relationship with you are the limit of dreams, I am happy that we met then and started dating. I have fun, interesting, comfortable with you and I love you very much.
After the fight and tension between us, I realized how bad I feel when you are hurt. I don’t want that anymore, let’s make up, I promise I won’t let my emotions hurt you anymore and I will pick up my expressions.”
Public insults
Insults in front of witnesses are very painfully perceived by men, if he managed to restrain himself and not respond with rudeness, then he is a very decent man. In this situation, it is appropriate to apologize publicly:
- If it is family and friends then in their company to make a touching speech;
- Say the words of apology into a microphone at an event;
- record a video message, add slides of joint photos with confessions and organize its broadcast in a restaurant, movie, nightclub, where the guy will be invited (it should be a surprise, after which the girl will appear in front of your loved one);
- to sing a song, the lyrics of which will be appropriate to the situation;
- tell your own poem dedicated to the subject;
- ask mutual friends to send him a text message with the text: “forgive her, she is very remorseful and loves you”;
- arrange for strangers to come up and hand him notes with a text about forgiveness or tell him “she loves you very much, forgive her, it’s hard for her when you’re fighting”.
Lying
If the girl has been caught lying, the guy is very likely not to trust her as much as before. In this situation, in addition to an apology, information about the reasons for lying should be heard:
- Fear of his reaction to the truth;
- Shame about some facts and a desire to appear better;
- Mistrust at the current stage of the relationship;
- The desire to “cover up” for girlfriends;
- non-serious attitude to the guy in the past, which was rethought after the conflict.
An example of an appeal to a loved one:
“I apologize for deceiving you. I did it without malice, I was very afraid to tell you the truth and to lose you because of it. At that time I had judged you by myself, and I didn’t know how generous and understanding you were. Thank you for that, I really appreciate your qualities and treasure you even more. Now the secrets have come true and the stone was lifted from my soul, I was very uncomfortable to lie to you. I respect you very much, I love you, I promise not to lie anymore, and I want us to be together for a long time.”
Unacceptable behavior
If the girl behaved inappropriately in front of witnesses, she needs to apologize first in person and then (if the guy has forgiven her) arrange a public apology in any of the ways suggested above.
In a face-to-face conversation or correspondence, you need to:
- Communicate remorse;
- ask for forgiveness;
- explain the reason for her actions;
- assure the guy that it won’t happen again.
An example of an apology for unkind behavior:
“I am very ashamed of my behavior, I realize how ugly it was. I want to apologize for it, I was definitely wrong. I don’t know if this will excuse me, but I acted this way because I had too much to drink. If you forgive me and give me another chance, I promise not to do it again. I hope you’ll understand.
What not to apologize for
In some situations, guys get offended and angry for things that have nothing to do with a woman’s desire to offend them, but characterize the features of her personality. Psychologists recommend never asking for forgiveness for the following features:
| Feature | Explanation |
| Principled life position | Unwillingness to live together, to engage in sexual intercourse, to organize a man’s life before marriage – a girl’s choice to be respected |
| Interests, hobbies, hobbies, occupation, ways of spending time | All this appeared before you met him and it was because of this that the girl was interested in the guy. It is better to discuss his attitude towards this, express your opinion, try to find a compromise in a calm conversation |
| Unwillingness to have children in the current period | Such a position may be due to mistrust of the partner or moral unpreparedness for motherhood. In the first case, the guy should try to gain trust, in the second – wait |
| Raising a child | No one will raise a child better than a native adequate mother without addictions and other mental disorders. Therefore, a man should not be offended by the fact that his woman devotes more time to their child |
| Sexual needs | All women have different temperaments and some need intimacy every day, while others once a month is enough. Man is able to affect this courting and attempts to get closer, but it makes no sense to be offended |
| Success | If the guy is much less successful, the girl should not stress about it and try to assert herself at his expense. But you should never feel guilty about his failure either. |
| Image and taste in clothing. | They are a reflection of the internal state and were already visible at the first meetings, so it is illogical to apologize for them. If your partner’s arguments are sufficiently reasoned, you can make concessions and reconsider your style, but do not lose your individuality to the detriment of your tastes |
| Failure to match his ideas about the ideal | Only a man with complexes is capable of criticizing the woman he himself chose. If in the process of developing a relationship the girl’s appearance has deteriorated, and the guy realized that she is not smart and interesting enough, you should try to inspire her to change and develop, but do not be offended and do not make her feel guilty |
| Acts of loved ones | Loved ones were in her life before she met the guy, they help her in difficult moments and give her the right emotions. If they behave incorrectly, you can discuss it, but do not hold a grudge against the girl, because she is not responsible for their actions and words |
If you could not get your loved one to forgive you, you can try to wait and make a second attempt to talk. Love, patience and positive emotions experienced together before the quarrel help to forget the bad things and start over. The girl should be prepared that she may be reminded of her faults in the future.
How to apologize to your boyfriend for your behavior so that he forgives
Sounds like you made a mistake somewhere in the relationship and a serious one, since you are reading this article. That’s okay, everyone makes mistakes, but from the looks of it, you want to fix it. It’s worth noting that you can’t fix or erase it, but it’s possible to make your relationship with your boyfriend continue.
Where to start
First of all, sort yourself out. It’s important to realize why you did something that is now threatening your relationship?
- Perhaps you are having a crisis in your relationship.
- You are not sure about your feelings for the young man
- It’s normal for you to do stupid things first and then apologize for them later
- You’ve been in trouble and can’t control yourself.
- You let someone else get to you.
Understand the reason for your behavior is important so you don’t do it again and work on the problem. In some cases, it is worth no longer communicate with those who incited you to do something stupid, and in another case, go to a psychologist.
What is better not to do
There’s no specific rule about how you’d be better off apologizing, but there are a few things you’d be better off not doing.
- Don’t question a man’s feelings.
He has a right to be angry with you, to be sad, and to jump to conclusions. You shouldn’t tell him, “that you get it all wrong.” He understands the way he can understand it. As everyone goes through their own life experiences.
- Don’t stop him from speaking out.
Yes, he has the right to say whatever he wants, but only as long as he doesn’t violate your boundaries. He can only talk about what he thinks and feels about what you did and your relationship.
- Don’t make excuses.
This definitely won’t help you. But to cause additional irritation may well. So it’s worth acknowledging the fact that what you did hurt your man and that’s the end of it.
Be honest.
This is a very important point. If you talk about how you feel and how much your relationship means to you. About how you understand his feelings and sincerely apologize. You may feel very bad about what you did and the fact that you upset or disappointed the man you love. It may not be unreasonable to ask how he can forgive you, what will be important for him to keep your relationship.
How to make up and end a fight
If a guy asks you something about an incident where you cheated him or behaved inappropriately, tell the truth. But the amount of detail is up to you to determine.
- Take responsibility.
If you have something to apologize for, it means you did something. That means you’re the only one responsible for it, don’t shift your fiasco onto others.
Make it nice.
And it’s not about bribing to be forgiven. It’s about showing that you care about the man and that you want to please him. It can be anything:
- A massage
- A gift
- A date
- Your attention
- A romantic dinner.
Either way, you know exactly what would please your lover. And this could soften his attitude toward you.
Remember all the good things that have been and are between you
In order to somehow distract your partner from the conflict between you, you can turn his attention to the happy moments in your relationship. You can remember:
- Your first dates.
- Travels
- First kiss
- The moments that made you laugh the most
- Shared goals and plans
- Difficult moments you’ve dealt with
This will help you remember that so much has already happened between you. And there is so much to forgive each other for.
That’s why the candy and bouquet period in a relationship is important. It’s a beautiful time you can keep in your memory for a lifetime, and in the hard moments of a relationship, go back to it. To remember how you were in love and not notice how time flies.
How to start over
After a tough time in a relationship: a crisis, a fight or a conflict, you can try to start over. But I want to upset you, you can start again, but from the beginning, no longer. You and your partner will have memories in any case, but will you have enough wisdom not to remember each other’s “faults” during your life together.
But it is this approach, not to bring up bad things, saves marriages. And in that case, you can try to continue living together and continue to build your relationship in a harmonious direction.
If you did something, it’s important to try to apologize for one day. Going to bed making up, even just cuddling, would be a good potential for your relationship. But it’s appropriate for the type of conflict where it can be resolved with a short “I’m sorry.”
Consider your partner’s temperament
Given that there are four types of temperament, it’s important to consider your man’s temperament:
A man who belongs to this type of personality is emotional, harsh. He can actively respond to your action, but at the same time and hold a grudge or disappointment in your address will be stored for a long time. In this case, you shouldn’t be too emotional. And at some point it is better to be silent.
A man of this type can take your action more calmly. But it does not mean that he is not worried. Apologize to him more gently, calmly and clearly. He should understand that you are sincere and that you understand his feelings.
This type of person can also vividly express his dissatisfaction. But he will pass quickly. Sanguine people are not capable of long feelings, although you can not exclude the depth of these feelings. Be frank in front of him and best of all hug.
Man – melancholic will not show his feelings brightly, but you will forgive for a long time. He will survive your conflict for a long time. He will care about all the details of your actions. And think back to you for a long time. If you care about your relationship, you can talk to him about your feelings. And honestly tell him that these are difficult circumstances for you, too.
As hard as it is for you to apologize, you need to do it openly, face to face. Don’t write apologetic texts. That would look very irresponsible of you. And tell the truth yourself, so that someone else doesn’t do it for you.
It’s also important to accept the fact that after your action, your relationship may end. Yes, it may be partly your fault. But conflicts can still be both your fault. And it’s possible that your relationship was no longer salvageable.
But if, nevertheless, your act won’t lead to the breakup of the relationship, and your boyfriend will forgive you, don’t bring up the incident yourself. Let the past stay in the past.
