How do you know if you’ve fallen out of love with a guy?
Banal texts no one reads, this is a fact. There must be some spice in every article.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I save the “family unit” from collapse. I help couples to regain love and understanding.
Why are you overwhelmed by apathy and you feel an emotional decline? Is it a temporary difficulty caused by external circumstances? It is possible. But there is a great risk that it is about your feelings for your boyfriend.
Or rather, the lack thereof.
(Non)eternal love.
When we fall in love and our hormones rage, we think that this relationship will last forever. You will never fall out of love and become one of those sweet older couples who stroll leisurely through the park and smile at each other.
Well, it happens. Love for life, fairy tale come true and all that. But unfortunately, most couples break up after a certain period of time. Ruthless statistics indicate that everlasting love and cloudless happiness are the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes we put in a lot of effort and try to do the impossible, but the relationship still dies.
The reasons why a relationship falls apart are different for every couple. Maybe you and your boyfriend are looking in different directions and your future lines just don’t intersect. Or your boyfriend doesn’t understand what you want from him, and you’re having trouble communicating your desires to him.
Or a more common option is that you just fell out of love with him.
Sometimes it’s hard to separate anxiety, depression and general psychological fatigue from the fatigue caused by your relationship.
But we will try to do it.
In front of you are ten signs that you don’t love him anymore.
Ten Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
- You’re annoyed by his attention.
He tries to hug you, but you clearly do not like it. He seems to you “too tactile,” even though you were fine with it before. You find it hard to be with him, even when he is sweet and caring, like a cinnamon bun. There are two possibilities here – either he doesn’t give you enough personal space, or you just fell out of love with him.
In a relationship, you get enough privacy, you do not spend 24 hours a day together, but just being in the same room with him pisses you off?
The conclusion is obvious.
- You don’t like the way he smells.
A little strange, but it’s a fact – we are programmed by nature to look for partners in the smell. And as long as you love the guy, you like his smell. Pheromones! It’s all about them. The smell of a loved one has a calming effect on us.
If you suddenly don’t like your partner’s scent, it’s all evidence that your feelings for him have faded.
When you love that person, you do everything you can to make him happy. You want to see him happy. To have a smile shining on his face and his eyes burning. The desire to make your partner happy should last throughout your relationship. On both sides, of course.
It’s completely different if all you care about is fear. The fear of causing his anger. There are two possibilities here. You don’t love him anymore – this is the first and most favorable option. And the second option is that you are in an abusive relationship and you need to escape from it urgently. And here it doesn’t matter whether you love your boyfriend or not.
- You don’t feel anything at all anymore.
Perhaps you know what we mean. You don’t feel anger. You don’t feel pain. Sadness, joy? What is that anyway? You have no feelings left in you. You’re so tired of it all that it’s as if you’ve forgotten how to feel any emotion at all.
Even jealousy as such is gone. The looks, the words, the actions that might have made you jealous before don’t work on you anymore. Does this sound familiar? Draw a conclusion.
There is one very important point here – the above situation may also be an indication that you are depressed. Here’s a little test for you: when you’re not with him, do you enjoy life? Do you enjoy going out, hanging out with friends, going to parties, doing hobbies? If you still have a taste for life, chances are it’s the relationship with this guy that’s the problem.
- You don’t want to touch him.
When you love someone, you want to touch them. To hug, kiss, and do all sorts of naughty things. That’s how love works – unless you’re asexual, of course.
Pay attention to how you feel when you think about having sex with him. If you don’t love him anymore, the idea of making love to this guy isn’t going to get you much enthusiasm – that’s at best.
The moment he tries to touch you and you pull away from him, you know you’re done. You’ve known that for a long time, you’re just afraid to admit it.
Once you lose interest in your partner, any interaction with him begins to resemble torture. It’s one thing when a guy and a girl quietly and peacefully part ways for mutual desire. Feelings come to naught, but in their place comes a sense of gratitude. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
You suddenly realize that you have to mentally prepare yourself for each date. You are looking for an excuse to refuse the meeting. You convince yourself that today is not the right day for a date. And if you live together, you unconsciously begin to stay at work or with friends – just not to get back to this man.
Our family, our friends and partners are the people who help us stay afloat in this crazy world. But it often happens that they are the ballast that drags us down.
- You make decisions, forgetting about him.
A healthy relationship is a special form of partnership. When we make important life decisions, we keep an image of our loved one in our mind. How will this affect our relationship? How will he react? Will he support me? You treasure this person and see him in your future because you love him.
If your feelings have faded, you gradually begin to forget the needs and desires of your partner. He has to constantly make concessions and take all the care of your relationship, just to stay with you. But you don’t need that anymore.
- Other couples cause feelings of loneliness.
That same “loneliness in the crowd.” You feel uncomfortable around couples in love. They remind you that things haven’t been so rosy in your relationship for a long time. You don’t look at each other the way they do. You don’t smile or laugh. And there is no longer that lightness between you. But they do. It’s a shame.
You have a boyfriend, but seeing happy couples makes you hurt and jealous. “I miss that,” goes through your head when you see carefree lovers.
“I miss feeling in love and I want to love that person again, but I can’t.”
You fantasize about catching him cheating. How wonderful that would be! You could finally break up the relationship and you wouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone. Or you start acting horribly – saying and doing things you never would have allowed yourself to do before.
“Come on, freak out and break up with me! Let’s get it over with!”
Needless to say, this is a clear indication that you don’t care about his feelings anymore?
- He’s just “one of.”
“Just another fish in the sea,” that is, “just another fish in the sea.” When we fall in love with a man, we can’t believe our own happiness. We thank heaven that things worked out this way.
But the feelings go away. He ceases to seem to you “the one and only. And you’re definitely not ready to spend the rest of your life with him.
Because it’s very hard to waste your life on someone you don’t love.
It’s not about the numbers.
“How many points have to add up to know for sure?” – you ask. Well, how can I tell you. If you’re deeply unhappy with this person, but you have “only” seven points coming together, what do you do? Continue to create the appearance of a happy relationship and spend your only life pretending?
If the title of the article resonated in your heart, that’s already a red alert.
8 signs that you no longer love your man
The heart can not command, and no one is immune to the fact that over time, feelings for your loved one will begin to fade. But it is important to understand in time that the relationship is falling apart. After all, the sooner you discuss it with a man, the more painless it will be possible to solve the problem.
A course in cognitive psychology
You’ll learn how to get rid of the thoughts in your head that are ruining your life. You’ll see how to help yourself with stress, anxiety and worry. You’ll learn to understand your emotions and feelings. Find your way to peace of mind.
Every woman dreams of a strong relationship and a reliable partner. But what if the “cold” in the relationship reeked just from you? These 8 signs literally scream that you no longer love your man:
1. You are no longer waiting for him.
How nice it was to spend time with your loved one, and how reverently you waited for a new meeting, preparing for it in advance. You were counting the hours and minutes until his appearance. Now you are not bored, and, frankly, it’s okay if you can’t see him today. And tomorrow, too.
2. Criticism Behind Your Back.
Once you were ready to close your mouth to anyone who spoke unflatteringly about your chosen one. Now you not only let it pass you by, but sometimes agree to something. If someone in the company teasing your man, you laugh with everyone else. In addition, you complain about it to your girlfriends, and not shy in expressions. All this suggests that the relationship is clearly in decline.
3. a feeling of irritation.
Of course, there may be something irritating in a man and a woman in love with him up to his ears. But it can not compare with the annoyance, which falls on her literally without reason.
If at the beginning of the relationship you do not dote in his chosen one, all it seemed to be perfect, then with fading feelings there is intolerance. What seemed nice before, it starts to look stupid. You begin to flare up over nothing, noticing that everything has changed. It seems like the person is the same, and he acts like before, but something has changed.
You begin to irritate his speech, habits. You always feel as if you know what he will say in the next minute. There is no elementary desire to listen to him until the end.
4. You begin to estimate other men
As a rule, it is difficult for a woman in love to imagine another person in her lover’s shoes. He is the limit of her dreams, the best thing that could happen to her. The situation in which you realize that the man is not so good, and some acquaintance of yours in some way superior to him, should be alert. The same can be applied even to fleeting thoughts.
For example, you are walking somewhere together, and your gaze accidentally crosses with a stranger. You realize that he is damn attractive, you start in your thoughts to “go to all the trouble. But suddenly, walking next to your “soul mate” brings you back to reality. Here you have to wonder, are your feelings really that strong?
5. Goodbye, unselfishness.
All women remember how at the beginning of relationships wanted to please her lover for nothing, not demanding anything in return. It was enough to his pleasant surprise or sincere joy of surprise. But over time, the situation can go two ways. Either this will go on for years without losing relevance, or the question will arise, “What do I get in return?”
Self-interest emerges, albeit harmless at first. But here there is reason to ponder: is it worth continuing a relationship that in itself does not bring happiness?
6. No Attraction.
It’s hard to fool your body. It is impossible not to feel euphoria, making love with your man. Every woman experiences pleasure differently, but the goosebumps, the shivers, and the thrill of his body heat are what invariably accompanies intimate time.
If you enter into intimacy with a man out of some “ideological” motives or just because it is supposed to be that way, it speaks volumes. Making love through overcoming some inner “no” is psychologically difficult. Such relationships end in failure and frayed nerves.
7. Gone is the fear.
You’re no longer afraid of breaking up. Once the very thought that the relationship could end, terrified you. Now you realize that men are interchangeable. And if he did not work out in the end, in his place over time will be another. There’s nothing fatal about that, and life after a breakup goes on.
8. You reflect on this.
After all, the very thought of whether or not you love your man can’t help but be puzzling. Once upon a time, it was unbelievable to imagine that you made the wrong choice. Now these “thoughts” come more often, and they are replaced by a sense of frustration and sadness. If you do not even try to ward off thoughts about whether the person next to you, most likely, the relationship is already doomed.
