Does my husband love me: tips for those in doubt
How often it happens that, after living together for many years in love and harmony, spouses begin to doubt each other’s feelings. Obsessive thoughts do not give rest and gradually destroy the nervous system. Especially susceptible to this weak half of humanity. It is women more often have doubts and lack of confidence in reciprocal feelings of her lover, and the reasons for this may be several:
- Decreased attention of the partner compared to the previous years of life together.
- Increased irritability of the loved one or complete ignoring in response to any requests or suggestions.
- The arisen tension in the relationship.
- Rare intimacy.
- A woman’s lowered self-esteem and lack of confidence in her former attractiveness.
Although, in most cases, a decrease in attention and rare declarations of love from a partner can be explained psychologically. The character of men is fundamentally different from that of women, and this is simple neurophysiology. Representatives of the fair sex have a dominant work of the right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for the emotional component, imagination and intuition. Because of this beautiful women like to dream, to fantasize about beautiful love and in reply they wait for verbal and emotional confirmation of their feelings. In the male brain the functions responsible for practical activities prevail. Therefore, his emotions a man is easier to prove by actions and deeds than by endless verbal tenderness, which requires a wife.
Often women can be their own behavior to push their chosen one to the same steps. As they are constantly busy, tired, unhappy and cold to the caresses, they expect in return care and warmth. This behavior just simply becomes contagious, and relations between the spouses become heated, leading to a crisis.
Often expecting her partner to display her feelings, she disregards his psychological state, mood, health, possible problems at work, etc. Although these factors are important. Buried with his head in his problems, the man removes himself from the companion. And she, trying to understand his emotions, wonders: “How do I know if my husband still loves me, or if our relationship has no future?”
In order not to go crazy from his doubts and uncertainty, it is necessary to find out the truth by any available means. And first of all it is worth to be observant and to assess the behavior of your spouse.
How do you know by your husband’s behavior whether he loves you?
If you are among those women who began to doubt the feelings of her husband, then stop assuming and start to act. To find out the truth, carefully observe your spouse for a long time. And then compare his behavior with the main signs of loving or, conversely, indifferent to his partner man.
Signs of your husband’s love
How do you know whether your husband loves you or not, and whether you should continue the alliance with him? A man who has real feelings for his beloved will prove them with his actions and deeds. And the words often can not find the strength or time. Conversely, you can talk a lot and beautifully about love, lying on the couch and watching his wife endlessly working, working at home and taking care of the family. This example can hardly indicate the sincerity of words of love. The following features of his behavior can help assure in the tender feelings of the companion:
- The husband shows tender care. For example:
- in moments of ill health, he serves medicine and tries to be near;
- If your beloved is cold, gently cover her with a plaid;
- will prepare a warm relaxing bath after a hard day’s work.
- Is constantly interested in affairs;
- He is sensitive to moods and tries to cheer them up;
- Discusses problems and offers advice and solutions;
- Keeps promises made.
- He tries to make everyday life easier:
- Helps with household chores – cooking, cleaning, etc;
- Takes care of the children and does homework with them in the evenings;
- The main income to the family comes from him;
- fixes plumbing, electrics, repairs, etc.
- After a quarrel he suffers and seeks ways of reconciliation regardless of who is more to blame.
- He listens to his spouse’s opinion:
- Makes plans together for the future;
- advises in various matters and questions;
- Shares his desires and asks his wife’s point of view.
- Supports in any endeavors:
- Approves of any hobbies and creativity;
- Does not condemn the available work;
- Shares sports hobbies, etc.
- Enjoys spending time together:
- Enjoys being at home and spending time with family;
- Prefers not to go out without his or her partner;
- Invites his spouse to the theater, movie, restaurant, etc.;
- Does not imagine his vacations without his spouse.
- He accepts his wife with all her virtues and flaws:
- Does not criticize the choice of hair, outfits, style;
- Does not criticize her figure or wrinkles;
- Does not point out mistakes (in speech, behavior, etc.) or speak correctly about them;
- puts up with all her habits;
- Respects his wife’s parents and shows a caring attitude toward them;
- Praises his wife and her achievements in front of friends, relatives and colleagues.
- He likes to pamper his wife with pleasant surprises:
- Gives flowers and gifts based on her preferences;
- Brings coffee to bed in the morning;
- Remembers important family dates and tries to please his wife on that day, etc.
- Has regular sex with his wife, which does not lose its relevance and brightness over the years:
- shows attention to his wife’s preferences and her erogenous zones;
- Always finds time for foreplay;
- looking for ways to improve intimate life.
Of course, all of these signs describe the ideal for marriage man, who in real life is virtually impossible to meet. But nevertheless, after analyzing the behavior of his spouse and comparing it with these features, you can draw a definite conclusion. If there is at least a partial overlap, then your union is not hopeless. And doubts about the man’s feelings may indicate only a temporary crisis in the relationship, which can be eliminated with the help of appropriate actions based on warmth, caring and friendly support.
Signs that your spouse has fallen out of love
To be sure that your husband ceased to have the same feelings of love and tenderness to you, help the following features in his behavior:
- He often becomes the instigator of family quarrels, which he does not regret. At the same time:
- Is not stingy in raising his voice strongly, using foul language and insulting words;
- may take an unhealthy pleasure in the sight of his wife’s tears;
- rejoices to be left alone at last.
- Is passive in communication:
- Tries to communicate with his wife less frequently;
- often misses everything his wife says;
- He does not keep his promises.
- He tries to avoid the company of his spouse:
- He is often late after work, and periodically does not come home at all;
- Spent more time with friends, or in the garage;
- Coming home late, often spreads the smell of alcohol.
- Periodically pays attention to other girls:
- flirts with them;
- Offers to help;
- Ignores his own wife at the same time.
- Is indifferent to his spouse’s opinion:
- Does not share her impressions and problems;
- Does not ask for her advice and viewpoints on various issues;
- Does not make joint plans for the future.
- Has become indifferent and irritable:
- tries to ignore family or domestic problems under any pretext;
- responds to any requests, that he is tired and wants to be left alone;
- Demonstrates neglect.
- Avoids intimacy:
- Is irritated by any touching of the spouse;
- Finds excuses to avoid sex (fatigue, poor health, lack of mood, etc.);
- If intimacy does occur, it is short and without emotion.
- Started to criticize his wife frequently:
- He disapproves of the way she wears her makeup, clothes and hair;
- Constantly notices more and more flaws in her appearance (wrinkles, fat deposits, sagging breasts, cellulite, gray hair, stooping, and much more);
- dissatisfied with her character and habits;
- his wife’s new clothes cause him irritation at the wasted money.
- There is a suspicion that the husband has a mistress:
- often comes in tipsy, and his clothes exude the scent of women’s perfume;
- He has begun to pay more attention to his appearance and has become noticeably more handsome;
- He began to have a lot of privacy with his phone, and at the same time he put a password on it.
- Well, finally, the lack of tenderness and care for his once beloved spouse:
- He stopped hugging and kissing a long time ago;
- Compliments and other nice words from him it is impossible to wait;
- Joint rest at a pair completely absent, not to mention the fact that somewhere to invite his second half.
It is unlikely to one man will fit all of these signs. Otherwise, the impression is formed that such a husband – a real monster. But if, in analyzing his behavior, you saw at least half of the coincidences, the answer begs itself. Spouse no longer loves you, and further steps you should think carefully. Or try long and hard to resurrect extinguished feelings, spending a lot of nerves and forces. Or a peaceful separation before you get addicted to this relationship (which is often the case for female victims). The main thing – do not make categorical conclusions on the one or two described signs and remember that every man is unique in his own way. And the manifestation of love in all is completely different.
Ways to help reveal your husband’s true feelings
In order not to make hasty conclusions and not to commit afterwards such unforgivable mistakes as breaking up family relationships, you need to go over all the ways that will help you check whether your husband loves you. The options may be as follows:
Ask your partner straight out. But in order to start such a difficult conversation, there are certain conditions that must be met:
- The spouse must be rested and full;
- It is important for him to be in a good mood at this moment and not to rush anywhere;
- Approach the subject from afar, unobtrusively;
- ask the question in a positive way, avoiding all the negative emotions and nagging;
- you can begin with nostalgic recollections about old feelings and go smoothly to the topic of present ones.
It is important to catch your husband’s reaction to the question. Sincere surprise, indignation and even hurt, most likely, will indicate that he still loves you. If he starts to flirt, get nervous, or change the subject, his feelings can be questioned.
Observe the behavior of your loved one and compare it to the signs described above in the article. It is important not to overlook a single detail:
- facial expressions;
- reactions to events, problems, requests, etc.
Assess the situation objectively. It is important to:
- Calm down and set aside emotions;
- Use common sense and think about the possible reasons for such behavior;
- Do not attack your husband with nagging and tantrums.
Try to get information from other people:
- Cautiously talk to friends, starting with extraneous topics and gradually moving toward the important issue;
- Talk to his parents in a relaxed atmosphere.
It is important that all these people are not interested in your divorce and do not rush right away to tell your spouse about your issues.
Read the psychological literature that offers tests on the subject of “Does your husband love you?” Typically, these questionnaires contain questions about the details of your relationship and feelings. Thinking about each one, you will be able to more correctly assess the situation.
Try to change your usual behavior. For example:
- Become inattentive to your spouse;
- take the time to get home on time;
- Stop questioning him, throwing tantrums, etc;
- show complete indifference to his person;
- Try to look good at all times.
It won’t take long before your husband reacts. If he loves, such behavior will cause him anxiety and thoughts that his wife has grown cold to him, and perhaps found a replacement. If there are no feelings – he either will not notice the change at all, or will make an attempt to ridicule or criticize you and your actions.
Change your appearance:
- Visit a beautician and do various rejuvenation procedures;
- Change your hair color and haircut;
- lose weight and trim your figure;
- Buy interesting stylish clothes.
A loving husband will praise such changes, pay compliments and want to go out with his beautiful wife. Insensitive chosen one will either ignore such actions, or get angry because of the senseless waste of money.
Try to bring romance into the relationship:
- Offer your spouse to spend a weekend together, for example, somewhere out of town or in a specially rented hotel;
- Make a romantic candlelit dinner;
- Invite him to a quiet, cozy restaurant.
His reaction will tell a lot. Loving man will gladly agree to such proposals, and even bring his own contribution to them. If your spouse does not love you anymore, then rudely or indifferently brush aside, referring to the affairs or calling such activities nonsense.
To not bring the situation to the point where her husband’s feelings begin to cool and the family is falling apart, start to act yourself:
How to know if your husband loves you: how to find out and check it
How to know whether your husband loves you, how sincere his attitude – these questions bother millions of women. How to recognize the true feelings of a spouse, how to understand that for the beautiful words about eternal love is actually often hidden indifference and cold calculation? The answers to these and other relevant questions you will find in this article.
How to know whether her husband loves his wife
According to psychologists, the question itself already represents a mistake. Women have an inherent ability to read the state of loved ones – children, spouse. When a woman can not know or see the truth, she can feel it. And if she has a question – whether her husband loves her, then there is every reason to doubt it. And unfortunately, the stronger the doubts, the more likely it is that she is no longer loved.
The easiest solution – to ask about it directly. However, it is very difficult to get a frank answer – many representatives of the stronger sex, even the most loyal and loving, are not ready to admit their feelings. Instead of words they affirm attachment deeds. In comparison with them, the most fiery assurances of eternal love does not mean anything.
How to understand what you mean to his man – let’s look at specific examples.
What are the signs of her husband’s love for his wife
To understand that you are truly loved and desired by your spouse, will help the following signs:
- constantly shows care – in everything: morally, physically, financially. For the sake of your peace and comfort, he is ready to sacrifice their own interests, sacrifice principles and habits;
- Spends a lot of time together with you, wants to communicate, and not just sexually;
- Makes your life better – provides you with comfort, and improves your material well-being;
- He is interested in your daily life, affairs, worries, problems, and hobbies; he will calm you down, give you the right advice, and help you;
- makes plans for the future, giving you the leading role in them;
- gives no reason to doubt yourself – always says where he is at the moment, do not turn off the phone, is not from work past midnight without explanation;
- Appreciates your advice and takes it into account – your opinion is important to him;
- loves to guess your dreams and fulfill little whims – desire to surprise says that the woman he cares;
- helps in everyday life – the distribution of household chores gives his wife the assurance that her husband – a reliable support not only in joy, but also in everyday life. Even if a loving spouse is somewhat lazy, he never gives up his “household” minimum tasks;
- Does not leave his wife alone for a long time, and if he has to go away, misses his spouse. He thinks about you, worries, calls more often than usual and takes an interest in your life in detail;
- If your spouse can help with your plans, he does not miss such moments. Being helpful is an important manifestation of true feelings;
- rarely says “I,” replacing it with “WE.” This shows that he really considers you his soul mate;
- Does not hide his affection – often hugs, kisses, praises and compliments;
- Do not try to change you in something – he appreciates the strengths of your character, and the flaws are tolerated. After all, perfect people do not exist;
- If guilty, always first asks for forgiveness – if the spouse is guilty, he tries to smooth things over and does not bring to serious conflicts. I am sure that none of them is worth the tears of a loved one;
- treats you respectfully – accepts your wife’s choice, considers her opinions and actions;
- treats your loved ones well – your parents, your friends. If these people mean a lot to his wife, the loving husband will treat them the same way;
- ready to compromise – if his wife’s happiness requires him to give in something, his husband will do it with ease. Within reasonable limits, of course;
- Ready to protect the woman he loves – even if relatives, friends, colleagues against her. Even if she did wrong – because everyone can make mistakes;
- Tends to save his marriage – does not consider divorce or even a temporary break in relations;
- Takes care of a woman’s health;
- Gives the gifts that you expect – it shows not only his generosity, but also his understanding of your needs and desires;
- Is proud of his wife – if a man loves, he is convinced that his chosen one is the best in the world. Isn’t that a reason to be proud?
- You take the main place in his life – your interests above all.
Can I check if my husband loves his wife
Look closely to his spouse – his real actions are the best proof of his love for you.
If you doubt something, try to find out how your spouse treats you in the following ways:
- More often observe how the man behaves – assess everything – his views, gestures, words, reactions to various events in your life together. Remember even small changes in reactions;
- Learn to analyze your observations – it is very important to give a truly objective assessment, cut out the little things and focus on the important. Do not be guided by emotions, be a dispassionate analyst where you are alarmed by the man’s behavior;
- Be calm and balanced – do not complicate the situation, do not create additional problems in the relationship. Behave with restraint and even-handedly, do not allow even a hint of hysteria, do not sort things out;
- accept outside help – from friends, relatives, or a psychologist. Sometimes consultation with a specialist is necessary. In any case, the one to whom you confide your doubts, should maintain a neutral position to you both. Otherwise his assessment of what is happening will not be objective. Real help will have a person who has first-hand experience with a similar problem;
- Write down your observations – so the risk of repeating mistakes is minimized;
- Provoke a romantic situation – arrange a dinner for two, send the kids to grandma. According to the reaction of a spouse, you will see if he is happy in this situation and aims to rapprochement.
Want to check the depth of feelings spouse, honestly answer the following questions:
- Does your husband avoid talking about your relationship;
- You have not heard compliments from him in his address;
- You stopped spending vacations together, and the weekend is almost always spent apart;
- You do not go to theaters and movies, do not watch soap operas, do not arrange tea parties in the evening.
If you answered in the affirmative to these questions, there is reason to think about how life together is appropriate. It should be taken into account that it is impossible to find out for sure whether your husband loves you.
Indirect points that indicate that the feelings of a spouse faded:
- he is shy with you in public;
- hides his cell phone;
- Avoids talking on serious topics;
- Does not feel physical attraction to you;
- Is often irritable and spiteful.
What not to do
In an attempt to find out the true feelings towards yourself, do not use provocative methods – they can aggravate the already difficult family relationships.
Reject the following ways to find out about the depth of a man’s feelings:
- don’t ask direct questions – asking your spouse if he or she loves you, you risk getting an answer that you’re not satisfied with. Or that you want to hear;
- do not clarify the relationship if your husband is tired or hungry – wait until he will be in a good mood;
- Do not cause jealousy spouse artificial – do not stay up late at night with friends, buy yourself flowers and gifts, forcing a man to think that you have an admirer. Take into account that such methods sometimes give just the opposite of the expected result;
- Do not torment your husband with their suspicions and jealousy – men do not like it;
- Do not blackmail your husband, do not manipulate children;
- do not try to control your husband.
Opinions of psychologists
Most practitioners in the field of psychology, specialists, agree that the love of a man has certain behavioral stereotypes that society dictates him. The problem with understanding your spouse’s relationship to your soulmate is the pattern of feelings. Instead of understanding how much a woman is loved in marriage, she seeks an answer to her question on the Internet, from girlfriends and psychologists.
Considering a man’s individual characteristics, experts say that there are three criteria for evaluating the quality of feelings:
- A man’s actions – a truly loving spouse always keeps promises, understands and supports his wife;
- Nonverbal signs – a sincere smile, dilated pupils at moments of intimacy, unobtrusive touching, open arms;
- conversation – he is sincere in communication, he does not stop talking that he does not like, he tries to communicate on topics that concern you both.
If the actions of men driven by mercenary concerns, but not love, it is easy to see the following manifestations:
- He refuses to solve your problems, citing his busyness;
- To my spouse did something for you, you have to ask him to do so repeatedly. If he agrees, it’s only in exchange for a counter favor;
- he only goes to his wife if he needs it;
- the woman is not interested in him as a person.
Many people who have been married for years confuse love with affection, habit, convenience and comfort. How to understand what we mean to a loved one – reviews of those who have already found the answer to this question:
- Natalia – 35 years, married 6. Lack of attention from her husband blamed on his busyness, family relationships as a constant work on himself. Convinced that the passion and the hot manifestation of feelings are inherent in the confetti-bouquet period. Trust and mutual understanding are important in a mature relationship;
- Andrew is 27 years old, he has been married for 3 years. The absence of feelings for the partner masks the care of the family and material wealth. Has an affair on the side. Believes that love is not the basis of a strong family;
- Svetlana, 42 years old, has lived with her husband for 13 years and has two children. She suspected that her husband’s feelings had cooled down for several years. As it turned out, not without reason. Now draws up a divorce, as she believes that a marriage without love can not be happy. Relying that she will meet a man who will love her for real;
- Olga is 29 years old and lives in a civil marriage. She is sure her spouse has the most reverent feelings for her. She does not imagine a family without love, she does not believe in strong unions based on calculation;
- Sergey is 44 years old, and his passion for his wife is long gone. He does not particularly hide his attitude toward her. He is tired of suspicions of infidelity, clarification of relations and dissatisfaction of his wife. He has an affair on the side and doesn’t plan to ruin his family, because he believes that children are the most important thing. And all sorts of passion – the destiny of young people.
Every man is happy only when he knows that he is loved, that someone needs him. For the sake of the beloved man’s wife is ready for bold experiments with appearance, culinary feats, the denial of their own habits in the name of comfort beloved.
In this case, not every husband by virtue of the nature of his true relationship with his wife. She has to look for an answer to the main question herself.
In this article, we considered the main signs of a man’s love, studied available ways to check the sincerity of his spouse’s feelings, learned the opinions of psychologists, heard feedback from those who also doubt the sincerity of their partner’s feelings.