How to know if you need someone: The 3 Leading Signs
How to know you’re in a relationship.
“How do you know if you need a man? I was in a bit of a bind. There was a man that we had been dating for nine months. And then one day he left for a long business trip (for 6 months).
I thought I would miss him, count the days. But, on the contrary, it turned out that I was indecisive. I do not know whether I need this man? That’s how to know for sure and with a guarantee that you really care about this man? And suddenly, do not need? For some reason I do not miss him…
In the evening I lie in bed and pray to the universe: God give me at least some intelligible sign that I will surely understand and be reassured. Yes means yes. No means no.
That said, he’s a good guy and treated me well.
Yes, and at work another good man shows signs of attention.
In general, confused … “.
How to understand that you need a man – the main signs
1.In a relationship comfortable communication – you hear, understand each other and react adequately to each other’s words
You know, like a well-coordinated dance of two partners who have been dancing together for a long time and no one steps on the toes. The same communication is easy, coordinated, and comfortable.
2.There is comfortable physical intimacy in the relationship.
That is, you like it:
3.There is utility in the relationship that you understand
This point is an individual one for each individual. To understand that you need the person means to clearly feel his or her usefulness in your life.
- -For some people it’s moral support
- -for others, it’s financial support.
- -Some people need a roof over their head of a certain quality.
- -someone needs a roof over their head of a certain quality.
- -children and maybe he or she is a great parent.
- -A charge of positive energy that this person gives you
- -A feeling of personal growth next to him – personally, professionally.
And all of the above – refers to a healthy, really necessary to you relationship. If these three signs are there, you can understand that you need this person.
But how do you know that you don’t need a person?
Figuring out that you don’t need a person at all is a harder topic than figuring out that you do. Because it can be “clouded and shrouded” by various neurotic attachments.
A girl may think it’s love, fate, feelings, and so on. And decide the question of “how to know a man is needed” exactly on the basis of emotions, hormones. And they sometimes lie. Because they can “slip” us a toxic, unsuitable man, who will poison our lives. Or even cripple our lives and our psyche, too.
And all this because we unconsciously choose “someone worse” out of all the available candidates. So that he will reproduce to us the childish, painful scenario of a relationship. If there is one.
That’s why I suggest we go back to the basic signs of needing a person and scan by them:
- 1.Comfortable communication.
- 2.Comfortable sex.
- 3.Tangible noticeable benefit to you from the relationship
How else to know if a person is needed – signs of destiny
It often happens that the right person shows up on their own in a girl’s life. Not because she was looking for a candidate from a dating site. And, simply, he appeared – on the most ordinary day.
And it happened naturally, by itself.
And he didn’t have a “wow effect” at first. But in the process of communicating, it became clear that he was comfortable and reliable. It was just nice to be around him.
Often there is no need to wait for a prince, you just need to look around.
Why is the natural appearance of a man a sign of fate?
Because in general, you should trust your life, your destiny. It is wise and sends us exactly the right people. We just need to open our eyes wide and see.
Author: Catherine Kholodova, psychologist. You can sign up to see me ONLINE consultation over Skype, WhatsApp, Skype, Telegram, Viber
7 signs that you do not want this man, you just need someone nearby
Relationships are really great, but when there’s someone you’ve been looking for all your life. Not someone who is easy to marry. And not someone who makes good money or looks respectable.
As the famous American writer Joan Didion wrote, “Predicting the beginning is the easiest, but the end is much harder.” And it’s true, especially when it comes to relationships.
No matter how long you’ve been dating a guy, months or years, you get used to having someone. There’s always someone to call, to go out with.
Naturally, the very thought of a breakup is already scary. After all, you’re already used to this person, and here to change the usual course of things. And often we continue relations for the sole reason that it is banal to want someone to be near. Not a specific person, not him, but the guy you’re dating.
For some reason our society has created this stereotype that if you’re a girl and you’re +18, you have to have a boyfriend. So we focus solely on dating at least someone, rather than on finding our own person, someone close in spirit and kindred.
We are told that we don’t have to have the perfect guy – it’s life, not the movies. We are told that relationships should be worked on – nothing just falls from the sky. But we are not told that sometimes relationships can also be destructive, harmful to us. But we are told that everyone who is in a relationship is happy and joyful, and that those who are single are sad and unhappy.
How to make sense of it all? How do we know 100% that it’s our person and not our desire to have someone around?
The thing is, a relationship is really great, but when the one you’ve been looking for all your life is around. Not someone who is easy to marry. And not someone who makes good money or looks respectable. And not someone with whom you can date – “just to date.”
1. When you think about the future, you see a completely different person next to you.
You dream of passionate kisses and tender embraces, but… with other guys. You even imagine their eyes, their smile, their laughter.
You’re not waiting for a marriage proposal, you’re waiting to meet someone better. So the breakup in this context is perceived not as an end, but as the beginning of something good.
As you can see, all your dreams are solely about some wonderful meeting, some new acquaintance. Conclusion: you just don’t want to wait alone for your Love, and you don’t need this guy at all.
2. Your conversations are strained and soulless.
At times you feel like you are in some kind of reality show. That you walk and talk, as if you were in the crosshairs of a movie camera.
Maybe your boyfriend looks down on you, or you look up to him. Or you don’t really have much to talk about. Regardless of what’s bothering you, you know it shouldn’t be this way. Most importantly, you know for sure that you can find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated.
This means that the person who is around you today is not only not joyful, but harmful. Yes, you want to date someone, but in this case you do as in the joke: “Spite the conductor – I’ll walk.
3. You dream of another – even in the bedroom.
When people are long dating each other – the fervor of the first meeting wanes, and this is normal. But if intimacy isn’t fun, and you make love because that’s what everyone else does… Oh, I’m sorry, but you definitely don’t want this guy.
And, if you’re also thinking about how great it would be to do “it” with a cute neighbor, it’s time to seriously think about where your head is.
4. The only thing you’re attracted to in a guy is his wallet.
We know how girls don’t like to admit it, but it’s really nice to be cared for and not spared money.
Dinners at expensive restaurants, joint trips at his expense, gifts and surprises … Who does not like it?
But if a guy’s purse is the only thing that attracts you to him, it’s not even a red flag. It’s a whole army of red flags.
5. You can’t even explain to yourself why you love him.
We don’t love men for a certain set of qualities. We just do, that’s all. But if you can’t list at least a few things you like about him, you don’t need him. You just want a guy, and you have one. Whether it’s this one or the other doesn’t matter in the slightest. If one day someone else was in his place, it wouldn’t take you long to notice the switch.
6. You care more about how you look next to him in public than how things stand when you are alone.
You like the fact that you always have someone to go out with and then return home together at 1 a.m. in a cab. You like it when he grooms you beautifully in front of other people. You like the “picture,” not the man. Because the real relationship begins where you are alone. And if there’s nothing but emptiness between you, it’s a game of love, not feelings.
If you care more when he misses a party than when he misses a date, that’s a red flag. Without an audience, you don’t need him. And it’s too obvious to fool him and yourself.
7. You like the very status of “being someone’s girlfriend.”
You sort of casually joke about breaking up with him in front of your friends because you’ve secretly considered it more than a dozen times.
In reality, you don’t see a future with him. A few birthdays at best.
While other girls dream about a beautiful wedding, you dream about how many “likes” your photo together will gather on Instagram.
You do not even try to get to know this person better, because you already got what you wanted, and you are quite happy with it. Namely, the temporary status of “being someone’s girlfriend.”
Don’t you think that’s a very dubious “happiness”? And you deserve more than that? By the way, so does the guy you’re dating because you just want to date someone. Don’t torture yourself or him. And don’t cheat – that’s the worst.