How do you know if you love?

Girls, how do you know if you love a man or not?

Girls, how do you know if you love a man or not? Sometimes I’m bursting with tenderness for him… I want to take care of him and be with him all the time… And you admire how handsome he is… Suddenly, in one day all …

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I no longer doubt) Although before, too, then I experienced attacks of tenderness, then the terrible irritation. Could not understand love or not. It’s been over a year since we were together. Eh, I wish we could go back. ))) I realized quite clearly that I love and have always loved) Different feelings, sometimes even a loved one can be annoying. Mine irritated me because he paid too much attention to me. It was too much, I do not remember that in 4 years we were separated for more than a week) Constant control was from his side – it also pissed me off terribly. Now I realized that he lacked attention, so he followed me everywhere).

We’re always digging around in ourselves, trying to figure out how we really feel, and when we do, it’s too late.

Don’t listen to Dr. Dick.

Alice, I am in a situation now that I had a breakup, kept figuring things out, and once again said that we are breaking up (although that has happened a million times when he has hurt me) and he agreed to my surprise. I know that he loves me, but here’s the first I do not want to approach, I did want this!!! And now I suffer, and besides, I know that he is now to be easier to get over the breakup turned his attention to the other. While time has passed a little, I’m afraid that it was like yours, that a year later I realized that I refused his fate and that he is the one and only Savmy. I know that we broke up but nevertheless I cannot forgive him for flirting with someone else, it seems to me that he betrayed me and in fact he could try to return our relationship.

Alice, I am in a situation now that I had a breakup, kept figuring things out, and once again said that we are breaking up (although that has happened a million times when he has hurt me) and he agreed to my surprise. I know that he loves me, but here’s the first I do not want to approach, I did want this!!! And now I suffer, and besides, I know that he is now to be easier to get over the breakup turned his attention to the other. While time has passed a little, I’m afraid that it was like yours, that a year later I realized that I refused his fate and that he is the one and only Savmy. I know that we broke up but nevertheless I cannot forgive him for flirting with someone else, it seems to me that he betrayed me and in fact he could try to return our relationship.

Read Transurfing Reality. I think it will answer a lot of questions for you. There is an audiobook and there are also video lectures. It is not worth of course stupid and unconsciously follow everything that transurfing teaches, but something useful for yourself you will extract. You will figure out your desires and feelings).

Lisa, I wonder! You are 28 years old, and you want to be older than you, i.e. 30-35 years old, and single, without children, but confidently standing on his feet.

So a man should be born, finish school, go to college, finish it, go to work, work until he gains experience and it will happen so that by the age of 30-35 he “will be on his feet. But he should be up to 35 years, the best years of his life, to live alone, to work, get on his feet, what would then kakanit girl came to all ready and that’s it happiness! Life is good! Isn’t that fair. A man has to get on his feet all by himself, and everybody has to take advantage of what he’s earned.

You’re telling the truth. It’s a pity a lot of women don’t understand that.

It seems to me that all people have doubts. always. and not only on the subject of love. when you meet a man, you fall in love with him without a memory. you try on a wedding dress in your mind. and you know that “you will die one day”. and then just like that, he is gone. he left in your heart only pain of loss, suffering, you feel that the whole world collapsed, no future without him. and even then: no you. You lock your heart and swear to yourself that you will never love again. I guess I’m not the only one who knows this feeling. I think most of us have been through it. And how not to doubt after that. how to believe that when the time comes, you will meet “your” man. how not to think that maybe he was the one “your”. and now he’s gone. and how to open your heart to someone else.

I recently broke up with a guy, I thought it was not love, just found out that he was doing fine without me, even made a girlfriend! it pains me. and now I do not know whether I love or not! (((( help, girls! maybe it’s just a sense of ownership? I wrote to him that maybe try everything again, he did not answer.

Let some time pass, you need to give time to the fact that you are not together, then you will know whether you love or not. Often we confuse affection with love.

And I have the same problem, I began to doubt. I’m married with a daughter. But we live at home as neighbors, and I am not worried, and I would even be glad if he found a girlfriend and was happy. How do I explain it, how do I figure it out? My brain is already boiling. I’ve been having these thoughts in my head for about three months now.

Is love gone or something? Or maybe it just wasn’t there, but there was affection and habit, after all, he was my first man. I don’t know how to understand it.

Maybe anyone’s had a similar situation.

For the sake of the child I am not going to pull these strings of relationships, I myself grew up in a family where there was no love, but lived for the sake of children.

I have a similar situation, he loves me more than I love him, he is sure that I am his man, and I am in doubts. With my mind I understand that only a prince from the fairy tale will be better. I’m 22 he is 24, I also see a man who is better off, stronger on his feet. and he is a boy, but he loves me, eh ((((

I always doubt too, I’ve been dating a young man for 2.5 years and at first I loved him, but with time the passion passes, the veil falls away, you start to see a man really, flaws irritate, you get used to advantages and do not notice them, leaves a pivot, respect (if any). But one thing has not changed: I never wanted a child from him, so when it came to the wedding, we broke up. But it takes strength to realize it, determination, it’s very hard. No doubt he who does nothing.

How do you know that a man loves you?

Girls who likes to give a blowjob to your man?

Girls 30+. I can’t understand our men!

How do you know if a man loves you or not?

How do you know if a man loves you or not?

Lisa, if the thought that he likes another, you feel bad – then you are not indifferent to him)))

Well not indifference and love – it is different

I’m an Aries and I’m in the same situation now. I can’t leave him = sorry I’m afraid it will break him

I am a Sagittarius.And I have doubts, that is why I am here.I began to realize that we do not understand each other, I am bored.Flaws begin to annoy strongly.I really like the other man.While friendly relationship.Perfectly understand each other.He is interesting to me. But I pity, current boyfriend, I am afraid that it will be hard for him without me.I do not want a child from him.But I’m afraid, after breaking up, will not start a relationship, with the man that I really like.In general, probably need to wait for the moment when everything becomes clear.How to act, in your opinion?

I do not know whether I like him or not!

It is inherent in an intelligent person to doubt!

Hello! Help me, what should I do? I have a wedding coming up. And I’m in doubts. We have been together for 5 years, 2 years of living together, doing repairs, have two cats. This is the first serious relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m 26 years old, he’s 28. Never had any passion. Before I met him I was exhausted, I really wanted to be loved. I felt comfortable with him from the first meeting, as if he was my own. I wanted to be with him. His love was growing. Now he loves me very much. But I have doubts. I think I am always glad to see him, to hug him. We sleep in each other’s arms. He is the closest person to me. I have many common interests and views. But there is no romance, he is not romantic at all, he is practical. I notice his faults and try to correct them. A year ago I noticed that I could flirt with others and look at others. And now there’s this other guy. He’s from my job. I’ve noticed that I’m happy when we work together, I’m happy when he sits next to me, watching. I really wanted him to go to the corporate party. And he went, was beside me, got me drunk, and started kissing me. It felt good, I was happy. I know that he is a pig (he has a girlfriend), but I was attracted to him. The next day, after the corporate party, the happiness was replaced by pain. I could not look into the eyes of my MH, I was torn with remorse. I told him everything, I cried, I felt better. He didn’t blame me, he forgave me. Like, I was drunk. I calmed down, but not for long. When I meet that guy at work, I am still attracted to him. And in my relationship with my boyfriend, I do not have enough fire, sparkle, passion. Although I relate to him very fondly, we are kindred spirits. What to do. Help me.

Just looked at our photos. And my heart is crushed – he is so dear to me, so his! If you knew what a good man he is, he is a rare man. And I cry, and I do not want to leave him! Maybe I still love him, and everything else is nothing more than a hobby!

Irina, my advice is to protect these relationships.Love and sexual desire are different things.I left my boyfriend when I was 20 because of this “spark” to another, I thought that I did not love, if it attracted me to another.10 years later, I think-oh fool I was…

God, I’m in the same situation. And I’m a cancer, too.)

Girls, it’s been two years.

I think I have had everything in my life: 1.Passion-when I want to.A nice guy, a cool body, it seems-here it is, love has come. Passes 3 months and I understand that this guy is just a pretty picture, except to put it in a corner and admire, there is nothing else to do with it.2.Psychological dependence is something that most of us think love-how to call him, write, be near, think about him, want only him. but “he’s an idiot, a jerk, he left me, married, drunkard, womanizer, I can not understand it-that’s what we hear about the relationship. Often this addiction and caused by circumstances on which you can not be with him (the distance, treason, cheating), you just have not achieved what you wanted, you do not love him, because if he was good, ran away from him. The best way to fall in love with yourself-do a nasty thing to the other half at the most inopportune moment candy period, and then act as if nothing has happened.You just cause addiction.Generally from this must treat, but alas, people think it love, make up, forgive, and then all over again and suffer through life.3 .Addiction- met two lonely people, looked closely, both good people, common views on life Decided to live, get married, children.Developed a habit over time. In this situation love specifically for something, and not just for fun – this couple domostroev.Many people live their whole lives and think they love. But some after three years comes depression-boring, something is missing.There is not enough passion, emotion, there is nothing to remember.Each person decides what is closer to him-change sexual partners, to live in pain, but with a storm of passion, to live in a quiet cavonia.We make our own destiny.

Love. It is the other half-this man is your copy.(Even outwardly, he may look like you)It is not true that opposites attract. When I met him, he could read my mind-I was shocked when we suddenly wanted ice cream together, to drink (I think he buys it). We wanted to sleep together and wake up at the same time, the same thoughts, the same views on life, parenting, life and even hobbies. My sense of humor and sarcasm in general is not tolerated by others, but he joked the same way and he answered me in the same way. He called me from another country and we talked for 6 hours about everything and nothing. of course there will be arguments and scandals, but love is when there is passion, dependence, but it is mutual, no one is an idiot, you can understand each other, give in, and most importantly, make each other happy, without demanding in return, to give. Love can change a man before him I always had lots of suitors and with him I did not need them (I always need men’s attention), I just felt ashamed (for the first time) I did not want to hurt him, to cheat, even if he would never know about it. I had to go to live with him and I refused, because I only wanted him to be happy. I told him not to bother me anymore, because I understand that the mother, traditions, family customs of these people always come first.I did not want to turn our fates into a nightmare.Maybe I was wrong. But now I know exactly what love is, in my example of dozens of couples I know only two who love each other all the rest cheating. Chel.komplozhnosti, the harder it is to find his likeness.Ne worth bothering about this feeling, as most of the planet lives, not knowing love.Mozhet it and for the best.

He loves me no matter what I was (makeup or not, combed or not, harmful, capricious, etc.) He wants to be always with me and never leave me, I know it. But he is older than me by 10 years. I also have such moments when I want to be with him alone, when I am bursting with tenderness towards him. And sometimes on the contrary. What to do?! Maybe the age difference prevents?

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was cute. He said no. She asked if he wanted to be with her forever, and he said no again. Then she asked him if she left, would he cry and the answer was no. She had heard enough. She turned to leave, tears running down her face. The guy took her hand and said, You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful. I wouldn’t want to be with you forever, I HATE it. And I wouldn’t cry if you left, I’d die. Aren’t those sweet words. Tonight at midnight your beloved half will realize how much she loves you. Something good will happen to you tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. If this chain of letters is broken, you will face 10 problems in the next 10 years. Tomorrow morning, that person you like will declare their love for you. Tomorrow is your best day, if you don’t send out 20 of these letters by 12 p.m., your love story is over. It’s not a gag or a lie. Just copy and paste.

Hello. he was my first man. although he did not match my ideal outward appearance, i fell madly in love with him. he turned out to be a married man, and also with two children. He did not live with his wife, and it is true, he is still married, because they have a common business. this is verified information. It was a complicated relationship, fell into a so-called emotional addiction. in general, we had everything. and breakups, and wild sex, and the torment of not being able to get him out of my head. in general, we broke up for a year. I tried to start a relationship, but I could not, could not get him out of my head, out of my heart. I suffered terribly. psychotherapists, antidepressants. nightmare. exactly one year later, he came out to me through my sister… talked me into a meeting… we met, talked. everything started all over again. BUT. now he is divorced, we see each other every day! attention, gifts, participation in my life 100%, loves me to madness, and I after a week after the reunion began to doubt. I felt that I kind of fell out of love, although I feel that I love, I felt just the opposite. it is difficult to even explain. I feel tenderness, in sex everything is fine, even better than before, I see that he can not without me, but now I Doubt. Maybe I passed off a painful attachment for love? maybe I got used to the suffering in love and can not accept the fact that everything is finally OK, but if before and was afraid that he will never fall out of love, now I am tormented by doubts that I have fallen out of love. I only know that I am incredibly fond of him, I admire him sleeping, even cook for him (note: I can not cook), I imagine him the father of his children. then why, once he finally became mine, knowing that I love him, I doubt and fear that I have lost him? maybe because there was no pain, which I now lack, and my mistrustful and restless nature just need to suffer and worry? HELP!

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Aries, by the way, are also incredibly mistrustful and suffer from such a trait as SOMETHING.

Exactly the same situation. (Although I am a Sagittarius) With the guy were born on the same day and year. We meet about a year. Earlier somehow did not think: love or not. Now I doubt strongly. Sometimes it is terribly annoying. And sometimes I just want to see.

Love. It is the other half-this man is your copy.(Even outwardly, he may look like you)It is not true that opposites attract. When I met him, he could read my mind-I was shocked when we suddenly wanted ice cream together, to drink (I think he buys it). We wanted to sleep together and wake up at the same time, the same thoughts, the same views on life, parenting, life and even hobbies. My sense of humor and sarcasm in general is not tolerated by others, but he joked the same way and he answered me in the same way. He called me from another country and we talked for 6 hours about everything and nothing. of course there will be arguments and scandals, but love is when there is passion, dependence, but it is mutual, no one is an idiot, you can understand each other, give in, and most importantly, make each other happy, without demanding in return, to give. Love can change a man before him I always had lots of suitors and with him I did not need them (I always need men’s attention), I just felt ashamed (for the first time) I did not want to hurt him, to cheat, even if he would never know about it. I had to go to live with him and I refused, because I only wanted him to be happy. I told him not to bother me anymore, because I understand that the mother, traditions, family customs of these people always come first.I did not want to turn our fates into a nightmare.Maybe I was wrong. But now I know exactly what love is, in my example of dozens of couples I know only two who love each other all the rest cheating. Chel.komplozhnosti, the harder it is to find his likeness.Ne worth bothering about this feeling, as most of the planet lives, not knowing love.Mozhet it and for the best.

How do you know if you love a man?

How do you know if you love a man? Before trying to figure out if you love the person or not, it is worth to decide with the concept of love in your personal system of perception, its place, the actual and verbal manifestations or perhaps only sensual self-perceptions. Love can be confused with passion, affection, dependence, addiction, habit, a way of solving psychological problems and even with the consequences of complexes and psychological traumas received during a lifetime. The desire to be constantly near, smell and touch the object of affection may be the beginning of love, or it may remain at this level, dictated by passion and pheromones.

The desire to please the person, to make his life easier, to help, to make him smile can indicate the presence of love. Here we can also include genuine concern for the fate of the person – if you do not care about his successes or failures, or are interested only in one of these aspects, then you can hardly talk about sincere interest in his fate. Remember that such signs separately can’t indicate the feeling of love, they can characterize friendship and warm attitude and a sense of duty – only the sum of many factors can tell that it is love.

How do you know if you love someone or if it’s affection?

Love is impossible without trust, and such a requirement is conditioned not only by wishes, but also by the evolutionary course, when families began to be created rather than temporary unions for coitus and continuation of the race, a sense of trust became one of the priority qualities and self-perceptions next to a person. A similar model is characteristic of the present – no matter how much passion takes over, all that shines for a couple formed on the basis of physical attraction is wonderful intimacy together, without love or a future, but if there is a sense of trust in one’s life with this person, then love is closer and the length and quality of the relationship is increased.

Just as there is trust, i.e. the ability to entrust one’s life completely into the hands of the beloved, there must also be a component of self-sacrifice. A striking example is given to the maternal instinct, which is the brightest manifestation of self-sacrifice for the sake of the beloved being; naturally, in a pair of adults such a relationship will show a certain morbidity, but here the elements must be present. It is impossible to speak of the presence of love if there is a need only to receive from the person, to withdraw in difficult moments for the partner and to pursue only one’s own interests.

The very occurrence of the question of what you are experiencing is indicative of dissatisfaction with the relationship, regardless of the answer. Such thoughts creep in if you start using comparisons of your relationships to those of acquaintances or in your parents’ family, to characters in movies or relative to your teenage dreams, or perhaps even to what the same relationship looked like in the beginning. All of these moments have one thing in common: a detachment from reality and inapplicability to a specific person and a specific relationship. To make sense will have to think about what you personally invest in the concept of love and on the basis of this find items that you lack in this relationship. It often happens that you do not have to dig deep between attachment and love, and everything can easily be solved by direct and honest conversation with your partner about what suits or does not suit you.

There are two perspectives on the difference between love and affection: the perception that they are synonymous (because we do get attached to our loved ones and may start loving as a result of affection), and others separate these categories into different poles, seeing one as an expression of sincerity and freedom, and the other as pretence and dependence. Indeed, attachment can look outwardly like love–so much compassion and care is expressed, attention is given, and a privileged position is accorded–the only difference being that this is done through effort, through compulsion, with an understanding of the concrete loss if these actions are not taken.

Attachment often develops into dependence, and if one perceives what is happening through this prism, one begins to draw the signs of the difference between love and attachment – pain, tension, fear. Fear is created by the possibility of losing a person (their importance may be due to material possessions or psychological comfort), which entails serious frustrating processes for the life of the other, and consequently gives birth to resistance and constant sensitivity. In the effort to avoid loss, one becomes constantly tense to guess the need of the other in time or to restrain the manifestation of one’s emotions. All this is done to avoid the pain of separation, which is constantly visible on the horizon and frightening. This is roughly what attachment would look like, whereas in love there is no pain, even in a breakup one wants the best and accepts their choice to move on on on their own. And if there is no threat of the killing pain of loss, there is no fear of separation, no tension. The person is happy and relaxed, can be anything, and shows care and attention from his own need and desire, enjoying the process. This all does not mean that attachment takes exceptionally bad form, we all build many relationships on the feeling of attachment, but as long as they are in soft and free mode – it is acceptable and normal (similar relationships may occur between colleagues, when they seem to be used to each other, but the world will not collapse if someone changes jobs).

Attachment is always characterized by the presence of benefit (material, housing, psychological, social), while love is more self-sufficient and the relationship is present just for the sake of enjoyment, not because of the ease of paying the mortgage or getting rid of the pressure of grandmothers to arrange a personal life.

How to understand if the person you love loves you

If with all questions concerning the person, it is best to approach and ask, then, as for likes, this method may not work, because out of embarrassment you may answer that they do not love, and out of a desire not to offend, to report that they love. However, there are some indirect signs, if there are doubts about the spoken or unspoken confession. Significantly more eloquent are always the actions that give away a person’s attitude. If you notice that you care, always remember events or plans that are important to you, help or try to please, then it’s certainly about sincere sympathy. But in assessing actions make a correction to how the world perceives the loved one, it is likely that he will show his signs of attention not as it would you do (if in your case it is constant texting, then he may conversely not write, caring not to bother you).

Perhaps the most important sign of serious love is making plans together. When your relationship is long, your plans should be big, about a common home and children, and for the initial stage, plans for weekends and holidays are good. If this does not happen, then the conversation can be initiated by yourself, because the man is afraid to scare you with his seriousness (because many girls believe magazine articles and just do not talk about plans in order not to scare your beloved).

Being introduced to your circle of friends and possibly relatives indicates that your relationship is seriously positioned, and when new acquaintances introduce you as their soulmate, it’s love. If you notice that in public he pulls away and introduces you neutrally, then either you have chosen an extremely secretive and stern man, or he is not defined in his feelings.

You want to share with your lover, and this should include not only material things, but also friends and time, advice, experience and mood. The desire to share his and joyful participation in your life with you indicates love, but the separation of spheres with a clear definition without the desire to unite, shows the unpreparedness of the person to open up.

In order to express love is not necessary to pronounce the word, but a similar attitude should be felt, and if you have any doubts, then try to talk frankly.

How to understand whether you love someone or not after a breakup

Emotional state after a breakup can be very unstable, when you want to kill someone with whom they were romantically involved and nostalgia naps such that you want to return. It is worth dealing with the question of how to understand whether you love the person or not after a breakup, because it may be attachment or empty void, and then the main thing is not to confuse these things with a loss of love.

To understand yourself, you need to isolate yourself from the influence of the opinions of others, who can both engage in PR of a rare scoundrel, and denigrate the truly loved one. You can forbid to talk about your former relationships and give any information about the present situation of the person, and if the requests do not help, temporarily stop communicating with those who are trying to influence your perception. Listen to how easy it is for you to live each day by yourself, how often you remember your ex, open your photos and look at it from an intimate point of view, because you can respond to a changed life (that no one rattles the coffee maker or that you did not have to carry groceries from the store before). Look back and assess whether there are resentments between you, often love can be confused with the need for him to apologize or to atone for his own guilt. Also imagine the future, a common old age, and evaluate the feelings from such a picture – if it became warm and cozy, you can talk about love, if it is cold, disgusting or nothing, then there is nothing, even if it caused a frantic activity and desire to be there, then check whether you like the family picture or this man in it.

It is also good to analyze his motives and if you think that after the breakup feelings are alive, think about the lack of reconciliation or steps in your direction from your ex. Usually, if love is sincere, it is mutual and the parting is regretted by both. Get rid of false ideas will help get rid of the fear of loneliness – imagine as much as possible detail that you are in a wonderful relationship, where you are appreciated and you are happy, and through this state of mind, evaluate your feelings towards your ex. If, while in a relationship, you do not remember your past love, then it was a veiled fear of loneliness, and if you think about it, it makes sense to suspend the current relationship until you fully understand yourself.

Feelings for exes are normal, it’s important when they arise to keep a full picture of what’s going on in your mind, with all his flaws, all your dissatisfaction and share. You can love the way he hugged you through sleep and hate the rest of the time, you can miss walking together in the park and enjoy the silence in the apartment in the evening – then it’s about quite specific things you need, without all the unwanted list. But if there is an understanding that you need this person and his shortcomings are complementary to yours, then it is love, which can still be returned if you quickly realize and do not wait for the departure of feelings.

Author : Practical psychologist Vedmesh N.A.

Speaker of the Medical-Psychological Center “PsychoMed

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