How do you know if an ex or an ex-boyfriend misses you?
Even after many years of a strong relationship, breakups are common. The reasons for the breakup can be very different: from the divergence of interests and to the treason of the partner. Of course, in memory are still moments of happiness, which, after some time, make themselves felt and cause nostalgia. Also, these memories can cause nostalgia, because of which the other half begins to miss their partner – regardless of who initiated the breakup. Sooner or later, each party tries to rethink everything that happened.
The partner who has been dumped usually has a drop in self-esteem, certain complexes appear, but he still begins to miss his partner, with whom he had so much in common.
How long after a breakup do people start to miss each other?
Longing after a breakup is usually caused by a person’s desire to go back to a time when everything was good and clear. Everyone wants to be in a comfortable environment where everyone was happy.
Of course, there must be a certain amount of time after the parting, after which a man and a woman begin to miss each other. Modern psychology says that it is impossible to define the exact moment when the feeling of longing for your former partner is born. The time after which one person begins to miss the other and their past depends on a number of reasons.
- Lifestyle. If the guy or girl has a high position, has a lot of friends and is used to spending his or her free time in their company, the longing does not manifest itself immediately. The person will find a way to distract himself, meet new people and unwind, thanks to which for a while he won’t feel so much pain and disappointment from the end of the relationship.
- The quality of the relationship that ended. If the relationship with the other half was long and emotional, then the person may start to get bored already from the first day after the separation. It all depends on how strong and sincere the partners’ feelings were, how well they got along and knew how to have fun together. If there were no serious problems before the breakup and the couple had a great leisure time, it is likely that they will start to miss each other in the first days after the breakup.
- A principled stance . If a man or woman is sure that their partner will accept them back anyway, then they will start to feel discomfort and discomfort from the breakup fairly soon and only on the condition that all these expectations will be refuted. For example, if the other half gets a new partner or a potential person for a new relationship, it can completely break such a principled position and make the person miss them.
- Competition . It is possible to convince oneself for a long time that there is no longing inside after a relationship breakup, but it is enough to see a new companion next to an ex or an ex, and one begins to immediately miss it. This is inherent in our psychology, since we are not used to sharing everything that we have considered our own for some time. The inner instinct works, based on which it seems that the other half will now be happy and will no longer remember his past.
- Environmental Pressure. The more people in the environment who are convinced that the breakup of the relationship was a mistake, the faster the person begins to miss the past. The attempt to gain the approval of society and the surrounding people is embedded deep in the self-consciousness, so such a reaction of loved ones leads to introspection, which becomes the cause of longing.
Thus, sooner or later everyone begins to miss their significant other, former relationships and the past. However, it is impossible to predict how quickly this feeling of longing will pass. Some people only need a few months, while others may be depressed for years. In many respects, this is determined not only by the strength of feelings, but also by the conditions of life, personality traits, the level of self-esteem and a number of other factors. Of course, the more interesting and rich life of a person, the faster he tends to forget his past and say goodbye to the feeling of longing. By constantly communicating with other people, it is much easier not to remember the sad. A new job can also affect the length of longing, as regular responsibilities and a constant workload are some of the best ways to forget about a breakup.
An ex may also stop missing his former relationship as a result of stronger and more positive feelings. It doesn’t necessarily have to be love. Such emotional triggers can be a long-awaited purchase, a promotion at work, travel.
If after the breakup of a relationship partners have to maintain contact with each other, see each other all the time in the company of close friends, then you can not get rid of longing for a long time.
The human body is built in such a way that it will definitely react to the familiar voice, perfume fragrances and other factors that trigger memories and prevent you from starting life with a clean slate.
Breakups cannot be easy and simple regardless of the importance of the partners to each other. A separation cannot be painless. Even if everything goes as well as possible, there is still something that needs support and mutual understanding. As a result, you begin to wonder if you can get back together, even if you do not communicate. If the other half writes and asks how things are, or is interested in other things from life, it immediately seems that she wants to get back together and is just hiding it.
So, among the main signs that a person misses his former partner are the following.
- He finds all kinds of reasons to get in touch. He may send interesting memes with kittens in various messengers, call to brag about a new purchase, or send various photos from events at work. The reason itself is irrelevant, as it is just an excuse to get in touch with the ex and remind him of himself and ask about his affairs. Also, through this behavior, the person is trying to find out if the ex will pick up the phone or just not answer the call or message. Sometimes this is part of a strategy to get the other half back.
- Jokes about sometimes missing and thinking about the past. As we know, there is some truth in every joke. Humor is very often used by people to protect their own feelings and emotions. Most likely, the person himself misses his former partner, but does not want to admit it, because he cannot know in advance about the reaction of the other person. That is why all of this is expressed in jest form, so that in the case of an awkward situation, you can always replay everything.
- It comes across all the time. Everywhere you look, he or she is everywhere. A person suddenly begins to go to the store near his former home, visits the same establishments and parks. All these efforts are made in order to remind of his existence, as well as a glimpse of the former. Of course, you will see surprise on his face when you meet him, because no one will want to admit that the meeting is part of an insidious plan.
- Jealous of new people. The presence of jealousy always indicates that feelings are not over yet, which makes it painful to see an ex around another person. In the presence of such behavior, you can be sure that the other half has not yet cooled down and is definitely thinking about reviving the relationship.
- If an ex-partner often falls into nostalgia and tries to evoke positive memories for you, it is likely that he would like a certain element to continue to be in the modern interpretation of his life. This can only indicate that the person misses and wishes to be in the past when these moments were not just memories.
- Calls after drinking alcohol. It is not for nothing they say that what is in a sober person’s mind is in a drunk person’s tongue. The main property of alcohol is that it reduces the lethargy of thoughts, as a result of which human emotionality is revealed, and the partner to some extent ceases to control his own actions and conversations. Under the influence of alcohol a person can tell his former partner for a long time how much he misses him, but it is worth understanding that this does not always coincide with his real attitude toward the whole thing. Perhaps if he were sober, he would talk and think differently.
- Trying every possible way to cause jealousy . If social networks are filled with pictures of your ex or ex-girlfriend, which talk about his amazing life, unforgettable vacation, going to nightclubs and meeting new people, in most cases, this is an attempt to get reciprocity and show your partner that life has meaning without him. However, human psychology says that when he is really happy, there is no need to prove anything to anyone. This kind of behavior only indicates that the person misses his other half and just wants to cause the same pain that he himself is experiencing.
- Offers to meet, spend time together and at the same time constantly reminds about the past, offers to remember some situations that occurred during the relationship. This is a great way to understand that the person wants to rekindle the relationship again.
- Trying to get information about marital status. If an ex asks around to see if a former partner has started dating someone new, it’s safe to say that he misses a lot, no matter how exactly he argues his interest.
For example, if the wife left her husband and then writes and tries to find out through mutual acquaintances about her ex-partner’s personal life, this indicates that she is wishing and jealous.
How to stop missing your ex?
Longing after a divorce and the breakup of a relationship causes a lot of pain, so you want to get rid of it. Very often this emotion is accompanied by powerlessness, anxiety and sadness. In order not to get depressed, it is necessary to react to such moments in time and try to move on with your life. To do this, it is worth taking the following actions.
- You can’t be alone. Yes, it will take a lot of time to heal a broken heart. However, this does not mean that it should be spent in the proud solitude of not leaving home. Meeting new people, meeting with friends and building business relationships will allow you to get rid of depression as quickly as possible and start your life anew.
- Take care of yourself. It is important for anyone to take care of his or her appearance. Buying new clothes, changing the image or buying expensive accessories in combination with a regular physical training will not only help to arrange your appearance, but also to organize your thoughts. At some point, it will become clear that the pain begins to subside – you can move on with your life.
- Finding a hobby. Everyone needs a hobby that will help you get rid of sad thoughts, relax, and enjoy the process. If you could not immediately find your way, you need to try again. Everyone is able to find a hobby that will completely take away his thoughts and allow you to get away from all the problems.
- If there is a desire to return to your ex, then it is worth to remember the reasons for the breakup: who and what he said, who he offended and hurt. Even if you insanely wanted to go back, it will immediately become clear that you should not do this.
So, after the end of a relationship and a breakup, all people begin to feel nostalgia, to think about the correctness of the decisions made and what could have been changed in life. All this leads to the appearance of longing, which negatively affects the quality of life and does not allow you to enjoy it. It is quite easy to understand that your ex-partner misses you, because this is indicated by his behavior, his desire to see you or his constant interest in your person.
In order to forget your other half and stop thinking about former relationships, you need to move forward, look for new hobbies and acquaintances, which in time will help you to forget your past life and begin to treat everything as calmly as possible.
Top 20 signs of how to know if an ex misses you
Even if the relationship is over, sometimes you want to know how an ex lives? What he is experiencing? Has he found another? And maybe he still misses you? By what signs can it be understood? And how to figure out whether there is a chance to get back to the relationship and whether it is necessary to do?
How to read his mind
It’s impossible to get inside another person’s head and know what he really thinks about you. But his behavior can tell you what he really wants and what he’s going through.
The surest indicator that your ex misses you is that despite your breakup, he continues to be present in your life. There are several signs you can tell:
- You bump into each other often – he periodically appears where you appear, and for no objective reason.
If you work together, there is certainly a reason;
- He follows you on social networks – sometimes the page of his exes go to almost everyone. But if he does it all the time, it could be a sign that he misses you. However, there may be another reason – insecurity. He wants confirmation that you are unhappy without him;
- He often finds an excuse to call you and talk to you;
- He asks a lot of questions about you and your personal life;
- he offers you his help – to help you move, walk your dog, give you a ride, fix your car, and so on. This means that he wants you to need him;
- being in the same company, you catch his gaze, which he quickly averts;
- on casual encounters, he maintains tactile contact, entering your personal space;
- your mutual friends say he misses you or mentions you often in conversation;
- his friends are taking an active interest in your personal life, even though they haven’t before – he probably asked them to do this;
- he sends you “random” messages, as if he were another girl, and then writes “sorry, not you” – know it’s for you;
- he deliberately tries to demonstrate how happy he is, and you feel like he’s doing it on purpose for you;
- he doesn’t take away the things he left from you, although he keeps telling you not to throw them away, he needs them, and he leaves himself an excuse to meet you when he picks them up;
- he keeps your things and gifts, especially the little things that are associated with pleasant memories, they are meaningful to him;
- he often talks about how you met, how you walked in the park, how you laughed – in general, he thinks about the positive moments in your relationship and longs for them;
- He makes contact with you a priority – if you need to meet, he’s quick to put things off and come to you;
- If you text him, he responds almost immediately;
7 signs that your ex is still thinking about you.
- He continues to discuss with you the reason for the breakup and to figure out the relationship;
- Sometimes he gets confused and leaves you abruptly, gets distracted and starts to be very cold.
Why an ex stays in your life
It is important to understand that all of these signs, especially if there are several of them may indicate that he misses you. And they may say that, despite the actual distance, you have not separated psychologically.
You continue to stay in emotional contact. This can last for years. Even if you fight when you meet, it also shows that you are still dependent on each other and feelings have not cooled down. The real end of the relationship is indifference, a quiet buddy-buddy interaction with little bright emotion, either positive or negative.
On the other hand, if your ex keeps in touch, he probably sees you as an “alternate. This happens if he initiated the breakup himself and knows that you still love him. Feeding your feelings, he feels peace of mind from the fact that he will not be alone, and if a new relationship does not work out, he will return to the old one.
Another reason he stays in your life is habit. He is used to being around, he is comfortable with the feeling that he has you. This happens if your relationship has lasted long enough. Change, especially sudden change, is scary. If the breakup was sudden, trying to maintain contact is a way to cope with the fear that life has completely changed.
Or perhaps the reason is that he really has doubts, even if he initiated the breakup. There were a lot of things in the relationship that didn’t suit him and didn’t seem right for him. But, after breaking up, he started to miss you, wants to see you, communicate with you. He started thinking about you a lot.
This is quite a typical situation. It’s hard for people to realize the significance of something until they’ve lost it. Bad things are quickly forgotten, but pleasant memories remain. Then his presence in your life is a sign that he is hesitating, does not know what decision to make.
What it can lead to.
In fact, it’s not so important what he thinks. Pay attention to yourself and your desires. If you’re wondering if your ex misses you, you’re probably still thinking about him. You also have a psychological connection with him, you care about him. Being in this “suspended” state for a long time is not good for you.
First, it is difficult to start a new relationship, if you are not psychologically finished the old one.
Secondly, you risk living for several years in the empty waiting. After all, just because an ex-boyfriend misses you doesn’t mean he’ll come back to you. If a man wants you back, he will openly admit it, talk about his feelings and that he misses you. Plus, he will take specific actions to do so.
Third, even if you try to start the relationship again, think about whether the problems that ruined it are gone? Have you let go of each other’s resentments against each other? Have you reconsidered your behavior? Have you learned how to resolve conflicts productively and listen to each other? If not, there’s a good chance that this relationship won’t last.
Try to be clear about what you want. Do you want them back or not? If not, it’s best to break that psychological bond:
- stop following your ex on social media;
- Remove all things that remind you of him;
- not to call him and not to write;
- Don’t ask him for help.
If you decide that you really want to give the relationship a second chance, then it’s better to act rather than wait. What does that mean? Change your image, do self-development, sports, new hobbies, to show that you are changing and thus cause interest. Begin to live a full bright life, enrich it, add a lot of positive emotions. Happy and easygoing people attract attention and cause a desire to communicate with them. Reconsider your relationship, think about how to avoid past mistakes.
The most important thing is your desire. Don’t try to repair the relationship just out of fear of loneliness. Don’t try to justify your ex’s shortcomings. Try to objectively assess how much you want to be with this person. And how much he wants to be with you. Act on that basis.