How to check a man’s feelings and distinguish love from infatuation
Men are usually confident and fairly straightforward, but if they fall in love, they immediately change their behavior. Often prefer to hide feelings until they do not understand them completely. And at that time the girls are lost in speculation.
How he feels about me? Who am I to him – my favorite or just another trophy? Do we have a future? Such may be the circle of questions that ladies ask themselves, trying to understand their beloved. That is why they want to know how to check the man’s feelings, especially at the beginning of the relationship. To do this, there are several sure ways.
Why women test men for feelings
Statistics show that women are much more likely to doubt the sincerity of their loved ones. Girls again and again wonder how to check the man’s feelings for strength. Representatives of the stronger sex in this respect, luckily – they helped nature itself. They – the conquerors, self-confident males, so questions about the sincerity of women’s feelings they almost do not arise.
The beautiful half of humanity begins to doubt the feelings of their beloved, if:
the girl is very mistrustful, doubting herself, she constantly needs proof of the sincerity of his intentions;
young people have been dating for more than a year, and the guy never makes more decisive steps;
a girl is not sure of the guy’s love and that is why she tries to understand in every possible way whether it makes sense to waste time on him;
The actions of the man are contradictory: he does not leave at all, but he does not express any special affection.
In love and in love have a special, burning look! Often, when the relationship just starting, partners look at each other through “rose-colored glasses. The phase of active courtship gradually comes to an end and the moment comes when the girl wants to somehow assess the seriousness of the intentions of his chosen one. At this stage, she may have difficulties, as men are characterized by restraint in the manifestation of emotions.
The difference between love and passion
The main difference between passion and love is the depth of feelings and emotions. Passion is usually characterized by intemperance, the power, a riot of colors, but love – a safe haven, where there is tenderness and calm.
In the rush of passion we think little about the needs and feelings of the partner, the priority is personal desires that eclipse reason. In a relationship based on love, everything is different: the partner is interested in knowing as much as possible about his chosen one, it is important not to hurt him and make him absolutely happy. In addition, when experiencing sincere feelings, we often do not notice the shortcomings in their partners, or just accept them for what they are.
Often passion manifests itself as a painful addiction. You can talk about it if in the presence of the object of passion you feel physical discomfort (for example, trembling in the body), confusion and other signs that can not be controlled. Alas, this is clear evidence of your morbid addiction. Love, on the other hand, is so deep that there is no question of any possible harm to your beloved; you are as comfortable with him as you are with yourself.
Another striking difference between the two concepts is the degree of patience. If a man is possessed by passion, all his thoughts are focused on satisfying his desire, he lives with one thought, one moment. He is completely indifferent to your future together, he does not care about the long-term prospects. In the case of love, it’s different: a man in love is very patient, the mere thought of an upcoming date inspires him so much that he’s ready to move mountains for you.
It is impossible to talk about true love, when a man is carried away by several women simultaneously. If the feelings are sincere, a man does not have enough resources, and there will be no desire to spray his emotions on several ladies.
6 Ways to Test a Man’s Feelings
If you are concerned about how to test a man’s feelings for a woman, try to assess the degree of his candor. Does he talk to you about difficulties in life, about his ex-wife. Men tend to share something intimate only with your loved one. If you notice that the elected one is hiding something, in your relationship is a lot of reticence, he hides from you his family and its history – you can doubt the sincerity of his feelings for you.
1. Analyze his behavior.
Subject to assessment of those moments in your relationship when a man moves subconscious. Typically, this is a reflex expression of care and attention: to carry heavy bags from the store, open the door, his reaction to your requests for help, moments of farewell.
Look at your correspondence: what phrases he appeals, whether they feel tenderness, attention.
It is sometimes difficult for a woman in love to soberly assess the behavior of her lover. In this case, ask your girlfriend for help – let her learn from the sidelines and assess his behavior, his attitude towards you. Only female friends choose carefully, because such a delicate subject can not be trusted to anyone.
Consider how he talks about the future. Be careful: often beautiful songs about a happy marriage and the ideal family – a deception in order to quickly master you and the subsequent search for a new victim. When a man is set up decisively and seriously, he thinks about the future very carefully, think through every step. The words of love from his lips sound confused and uncertain. A representative of the stronger sex is afraid that you will misunderstand him. He will not hurry, trying to get close to you in an intimate sense.
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Analyze what happens more often: showing respect or being rude. There is no love without respect – this is a fact. When a man neglects his woman, is rude to her, demonstrates this attitude in public, it is hardly worth talking about any tender feelings on his part. This is a toxic alliance with very dubious prospects.
When a man loves, he always listens to your opinion, respects your views on this or that situation, your choices and decisions. This is a very good indicator, here we can talk about the sincerity of his feelings.
Yes, men are all different and each has its own way of showing emotion. But if you have noticed that the guy can easily yell at you over the phone, rudely push you away and allow himself other things that offend you, you should not rely on tenderness in a relationship with him.
Nature has predetermined that a man must protect his beloved woman from harm, and in case of danger, be sure to come to her aid. And he is willing to do this always, even when there is a direct threat to his life and health. If it happened that the guy left you one-on-one with danger – he does not love you. This is a 100% criterion for checking the sincerity of your partner’s feelings.
Let’s take a concrete example to illustrate this point. You’ve probably witnessed the story of a woman in a public place who starts hitting on her or tries to hit on her with a word. If in this situation her boyfriend does not stop the actions of the offender, but, on the contrary, tries to calm his girlfriend and apologizes to him – what kind of love can we talk about?
This picture clearly shows the cowardice of the man, his unwillingness to enter into battle for his woman. And it doesn’t matter if she was right or not. When a guy is really in love, his girlfriend’s word is law, she is always right and he will stand up for her until she wins.
Next, check what happens more often: a display of indifference or lack of patience.
Did it happen that you missed a call from your beloved? If a man really loves, he will not calm down. Will call until he gets through and does not find out the reasons for what is happening, not excluded jealousy and even childish resentment. In the case if you do not care about the man – do not wait for repeated calls, he will wait for action from you.
Consider whether he is able to make responsible decisions. It is one thing if you periodically meet, give each other gifts, a man will shower you with compliments. But to take responsibility for yourself and step forward – it’s quite another thing. If a man is confident in his feelings, he won’t procrastinate about living together or getting married. When he realizes that he is ready to take responsibility for someone else’s life, to love, care for, and support his family, that is a very good indicator.
A man has no serious intentions if he keeps saying that:
there aren’t enough funds;
It’s not the right time;
I’m not ready for it.
2. Ask for help.
It’s a well-known fact that a friend is a friend in need. The same is true in a relationship. Simulate some difficult situation in life and evaluate your partner’s behavior in it.
3. Ask the question head-on.
This is one of the most uncomplicated techniques. Only as far as the answer will be sincere, it is difficult to say. After all, nothing prevents him from lying if he has to. Be on the alert and carefully assess the intonation, look. About deception you can talk, if a man hides his eyes, is rather cold in communication.
4. Borrow or lend.
Loan your boyfriend some money. In life, there are often situations where a man can accidentally forget his credit card or cash at home. If your lover is determined, loves you, he will not delay with the repayment of the debt, will not be able to undermine your trust.
5. Ask a friend for his opinion of you.
A good friend can help here – let her talk to your chosen one. If he begins to strongly criticize you, show interest in her, then, you know, he is unlikely to take you seriously. But it’s important to be sure of your girlfriend. After all, out of envy of you and she may lie or distort the words of your man.
6. Reveal a secret.
This can be a real or invented stories from childhood that you are hiding from others. Tell your man about it and don’t forget to mention that it’s a big secret. If it happens that after a certain time the whole neighborhood will know about it, it means that your chosen one is completely unworthy of you. He showed disrespect for you, he is not your partner.
Experts recommend you to avoid risky checks, because not every sane person will sacrifice his life and health, in order to prove his love to you.
Also, do not advise to arrange a test for a man, tempting him in one way or another. There have been cases where women are asking their girlfriends to try to seduce their chosen one. Remember, such a test can destroy your union. There is a risk of losing your girlfriend, and without a boyfriend.
Do not harass yourself with speculation, trust your beloved more, believe in him. Only time can check the true feelings. There are crises in relationships, and everyday life, and fitting in. Everyone goes through this. Only as a result of such trials and forged your feelings become deeper and stronger. If you have a suspicion and insecurity in your partner – let him go. Believe me, if he really loves, he will not leave.
Checking the man’s feelings from a distance
Internet dating is one of the most common ways of communication today. Access to social networks has given us the opportunity to find not only colleagues of interest, but also to meet his love. When communicating on the web, women often have a question about how to check their man’s feelings from a distance, when you are separated not only by a screen of the monitor, but also by hundreds of thousands of kilometers?
Study your correspondence. If a man is interested in you, he will not delay with a response to your messages. Temporary delays in his responses may indicate that you are not his only female companion. It is possible that there is a woman to whom he responds faster.
Analyze his questions: how interested he is in your life, interests and hobbies, dreams. Yes, not every guy will ask about this, but still the presence of these conversations indicates his interest in you. Man, who from the first minutes of acquaintance calls you out on a date, can not help but be wary. Do not agree. Try to check the sincerity and purity of his intentions.
You met just yesterday, and he’s all blazing with love, pelted with compliments and swears to love you to death? It’s unlikely you can talk about the real sympathy. Check him out. Create a new profile and write to him. You’ll see, there’s a 99% chance he’ll send you the same message.
Involve a friend. At the same time, write to the man, assess his behavior, will he respond to her? Will he ignore her or make an appointment for her as well? Who will answer first? But this experiment is admissible in the beginning, and if you communicate for a long time and are keen enough for each other – do without girlfriends. Man may learn about everything and stop communicating with you.
There is another option for testing the feelings of a guy. Write him your phone number. See how he reacts: Will he leave you his? Will he call you or not? This way you can gauge how serious he is about you.
No thoughts on how else you can check your chosen one? There is a method in psychology, how to check the man’s feelings: disappear from his sight for a while. Do not be online, ignore his emails on social networks, do not pick up the phone. Evaluate his reaction as a result. If the guy is interested in you – he will be looking, trying to find out what happened to you, what caused this behavior. In this case you should have a plausible story about your disappearance ready.
Share your problems with the man – whether it’s work, a common cold or a minor traffic accident. His compassion, concern, and desire to help will show the sincerity of his intentions. If you are expensive – a guy will find any way to find a solution and an opportunity to be useful to you.
Men are active in expressing their feelings only when they truly love. Believe me, you will have no idea to arrange this kind of test, if he will be in touch (even at a distance). During the day he will now and then delight you with kind words, tell funny stories, support, wish you good night. They are difficult to talk about feelings. That’s the way nature intended. Therefore, only from these little things and you can get a true picture of his attitude toward you.
How to check the man’s feelings: psychologists’ tips
What could be more pleasant for a woman than the realization that she is loved? This magical, incomparable feeling can lift you to the heavens and make you truly happy. It’s no wonder that everyone is looking forward to when her beloved will finally say the cherished words.
Men, in turn, are not always in a hurry to confess their tender feelings. This is in the movies they perform feats, shower with roses and speak so beautifully that no doubt remains. In life everything is different. Representatives of the stronger sex are not as emotional, so they do not see the need to talk about their sympathies. Impatient women do not want to wait long. Intuition tells us that he is not indifferent, but how to make sure? How to check a man’s feelings and make sure he is in love?
Reasons to test men for feelings
Various sociological surveys indicate that women are more susceptible to doubts about the feelings of their partners. It is them who are interested in the question of how to check how sincere feelings a man has for them. Young men such problems occupy rarely, because they are initially more confident in themselves, acting as conquerors and winners. On how to check a man’s feelings, girls think about when:
- lack of self-confidence leads to a constant search for confirmation of love from the partner;
- Despite the duration of the relationship, the young man does not translate them into a new plane, does not take decisive action;
- a woman doubts her partner’s feelings, so she wants to test them to see if the relationship is worth continuing;
- The behavior of the young man is ambiguous, there are no obvious signs of affection on his part, but he is not going to stop meeting either.
Lovers look at each other with glowing eyes, not noticing the shortcomings of the partner. But sooner or later the confetti-bouquet period of relations ends, and then women begin to wonder about the true feelings of their chosen ones, because most of them are not accustomed to the open expression of love.
Tips for recognizing a man’s feelings
If a woman wants to hear the words of love, then, most likely, she will hear them, but no one knows how sincere will be the recognition. To understand that a man really loves his partner, it is possible by some signs.
Determine how sincere men talk about love, you can gestures, hand and eye movements favorite.
On the true feelings indicate some tension, anxiety partner in the presence of a woman, he does not know where to put his hands, hiding them in his pockets, twirling in his hands some object.
This behavior does not indicate great love, but in this case you can say for sure that you are in love.
The presence of sympathy or interest may be checked by a man’s gaze. The following can attest to falling in love:
- the partner looks intently into the girl’s eyes, as if trying to understand what she is thinking;
- The young man catches the sweetheart’s eyes;
- averts his eyes if the girl intercepts his gaze.
Such signs indicate a serious interest in a woman. It is up to her to respond – to make it clear that she does not mind attention and further acquaintance.
Check the man’s feelings for a woman can be by how attentive he is to everything that relates to her. He remembers what she says she loves, what she wants, noticing all the little things about her.
He remembers what music, movies, books, she likes, whether or not she adds sugar to coffee, what she prefers flowers, etc.
To say compliments to men is not a problem, for this you do not have to have any feelings for the girl. To check how sincerely interested a man is, you need to pay attention to how exactly he pronounces his compliments.
Speaking about the beautiful appearance, wit, sense of humor, other qualities, he will try to touch the woman, it is this desire, along with a willingness to look in the eyes indicates a true love.
Men in love are ready to commit chivalrous acts for the sake of their chosen one, to show care, to respond to any, even the smallest problems concerning the girl.
For the sake of the happy eyes and sincere smile of the beloved young man is ready in the middle of the night to look for strawberries and snowdrops, and in his only day off will be gluing wallpaper or tinkering with her car – the list of actions can be endless.
Check the sincerity of men’s feelings can also be checked on the manner of communication. If there are suddenly pauses in the conversation, then the speaker really is interested in this girl.
The young man in love at first tries not to demonstrate his feelings, in order not to receive mockery or rejection in response, not to be in a vulnerable position. Excitement arises by itself because of the possibility of being close to the object of adoration.
Psychology says that you can check a man on the sincerity of his feelings by his behavior:
- tense and worried;
- blushing, embarrassed, nervously gesticulating;
- quickly, vaguely speaks, a shiver in his head noticeable.
These behavioral signs indicate that the young man is not indifferent to the woman.
If a man is confident, he will never refuse to flirt with a girl he likes. Don’t take this behavior in stride, because it may be the only way he can get acquainted.
With regular meetings, such as at the gym, swimming pool, office, a young man can be original and find another way to meet. Otherwise, flirting justifies itself as an opportunity to establish a relationship and show interest in the girl.
If a man is in love, he looks for and finds a reason to see the object of his feelings. Others always have good reasons not to meet.
Psychology indicates that you can check the feelings of a man by the fact whether he offers options for a joint pastime, does anything to bring the girl into his hobby, because he wants to have as much in common between them as possible.
Young people in love seem to grow wings, they are ready to dedicate poems and songs to their loved ones, to do heroic deeds or just to become better (for example, to get rid of bad habits). At the same time they are not waiting for praise in their address, no, their actions are caused by the desire to become worthy partners for the beloved.
For a man in love it costs nothing to quit smoking or drinking, because the addictions weaken in comparison to the feelings he is experiencing. And then comes the gratitude to his beloved for helping him to cope with bad habits.
You can check a man’s feelings by his desire to get better:
- by his careful choice of clothes;
- a fashionable haircut;
- the use of expensive perfume;
- The desire to write and speak correctly;
- self-development, learning, achieving success.
These changes are designed to attract the attention of women. The young man seeks to prove that he is worthy to be near his chosen woman.
A sure sign that a man has serious feelings for a woman is stories about his life, experiences, plans, etc. Young men by nature are not prone to long heart-to-heart talks, but once they fall in love, they want not only physical, but spiritual closeness with their chosen one. That is why they are willing to share their innermost thoughts with her, believing that in this way the girl becomes a part of their lives.
Men are ready to invest in the beloved woman not only financially and financially. They provide their chosen woman moral support, physical assistance, give her a lot of his time.
The consumerist behavior of young men seems to evaporate once they fall in love. The real attitude towards the girl can be judged by how they care for her (morally and financially). Many representatives of the stronger half of mankind are stingy on emotions, but their feelings are eloquently demonstrated by their actions.
From the correspondence with a young man can also learn a lot about his true feelings. Enough to analyze the phrases that he wrote to his girlfriend.
Check the man’s feelings by correspondence is very easy – a man in love:
- He tries not to make spelling and punctuation mistakes when writing, does not curse words, adds emoticons to the text, is not limited to one-word sentences or answers, and writes a lot and in detail.
- He can just write that he’s bored, he’s thinking about a girl. This means that at this moment he is overwhelmed with feelings and the best way out is to voice his state.
- To check a man’s feelings at a distance and not only can be found in messages sentimental phrases, for example: “I heard the song on the radio and remembered how we first met in that cafe!” For a young man in love, such revelations and revealing his soul are natural, and the girl has more than once to make sure of that.
- Demonstrates initiative, does not come up with reasons to refuse to meet, but, on the contrary, looks for reasons to interest the girl in an interesting date.
- Does not leave calls and messages unanswered. If you can not answer right away, he apologizes and explains why he could not do it.
Jealousy is not always an indication of love, but its absence means that a man’s interest in a woman is minimal, if not absent at all.
A young man who has serious feelings for a girl will follow her closely. No, he will not impose his opinion and vision of any issues on her, but will be painful to communicate with other men.
To get rid of rivals and completely capture the attention of the chosen one – these are the tasks set by the young man in love.
He will not reproach his partner, too, classic signs of jealousy will not manifest. At the stage of infatuation jealousy can be detected in the eyes, a slight change of mood.
Check the feelings of a married man to his mistress, as well as single to a new acquaintance, a lawful spouse to his mate can be by how he communicates with other women. This is a universal way to check, equally effective in the confetti-bouquet period, and after.
At the beginning of a relationship, the following signs will indicate that you are in love:
- Lack of tension, openness, mockery when communicating with other women;
- Shyness and excitement during conversations with a girl you like.
Non-verbal signs can also tell a lot about a man’s feelings. A man is not aware of certain movements, which in fact give him away with his head.
The most common nonverbal signs to check a young man’s feelings are:
- wide-spread legs, arms folded on the chest, retracted belly and straightened shoulders – this is how a man meets a woman of interest;
- the desire for tactile contact – the young man gives the girl a hand, accidentally touches her, puts his arm around her waist or shoulders, etc;
- A raised eyebrow;
- Putting his hands in his pockets or by his belt.
The secrets of testing feelings of a man
- Check a man’s feelings can be checked by correspondence . If the new acquaintance immediately responds to messages, then he is interested in communicating with the girl. If he is online, but ignores questions, then perhaps at this time he is busy communicating with other women.
- Tells you about his feelings and analysis of the questions he asks: whether he is interested in the life of a new acquaintance, whether he is asking about her favorite movies, dreams, recreation formats, interests, etc. The woman herself may start asking such questions. If instead of an answer followed by an invitation to a date, it is necessary to be alert and to think how to check the feelings of a man on sincerity in other ways.
- With a very short acquaintance (less than a week) you should not think that the young man is in love, if he covers the girl with love poems and compliments. You can conduct an experiment and register on a dating site or social networking site under a different name and get acquainted with him again. It is likely that the messages will be similar.
- You can call a friend to help and write to the young man with her, and then see what he will do in response: will he ignore or make a date. You can also check the man’s feelings by the fact to whom he will reply first: to a girl or her friend. This tip is only valid for recent dating, if the correspondence with a young man has been going on for some time, do not connect your girlfriend to it.
- You can give a man his phone number and see how he reacts. If he gives his number in response or calls immediately, then he is interested in continuing to communicate.
- Another way to check how the young man feels is to disappear from his sight for a few days, do not respond to messages and phone calls and watch his reaction. If he is serious, he will start looking for the girl. Therefore it is better to prepare in advance a plausible explanation for absence.
- It is possible and necessary to share the difficulties at work with a man. If he shows interest and concern, it will indicate that he cares about the woman.
Truly in love and interested in the man himself will be active, the woman does not have to wonder how to check the man’s feelings, because he himself will be the first to call and write, tell stories during the day and wish you good dreams in the evening. Not often young people talk frankly about their feelings, but to judge them by their words is not necessary – actions will tell a lot more.
Forbidden ways to test a man’s feelings
Do not test a man’s feelings, putting him on the risky and foolish tasks such as crossing the river or conquer Everest. Adolescent maximalism is not appropriate in adult relationships.
Jealousy is another bad way to test a relationship. Jealousy can be the result of wounded ego and pride, and not at all a sign of falling in love. Resorting to this option, you can not only offend, but also make the young man angry, and after that you can forget about love.
Do not ask your girlfriend to flirt with the man of interest. This approach is fraught with double minus – you can remain without a girlfriend and without a young man. Man by nature a conqueror, and in this case, he may have to switch to the conquest of his girlfriend.
It is better to trust women’s intuition than to invent tricks to test their feelings. The eyes of a man in love will eloquently tell you what he feels.
Insecure women may seek to constantly control your favorite, for example, calling him dozens of times during the day. When a girl in the fiftieth time she asked how her man, his patience could break. Total control will only lead to irritation and a desire to stop communication.
To check the man’s feelings, do not ask his friends and relatives about him. Even if the questions will be neutral, he may become uncomfortable for the behavior of such a curious girl. In addition, when asked about personal matters, friends may not answer the truth, but what both they and the young man benefit from, because that is the power of male friendship.
Women by nature are more emotional, life in a state of uncertainty is unbearable for them. Especially if that uncertainty concerns a relationship with a lover. However, not all men can or want on the second or fifth date to talk about their feelings. But the above tips will help girls not to guess, but to check a man’s feelings by analyzing his behavior and words.