How do you know a girl wants you?

How to know if your girlfriend wants to have sex with you

Contributor(s): Mark Rosenfeld. Mark Rosenfeld founded Make Him Yours in 2015 and is now considered Australia’s leading dating and relationship coach for women. He specializes in helping people find, make and keep exceptional relationships. He has been written about by Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, and The Good Men Project. His dating videos have racked up over 60 million views, and his book, Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating, became a bestseller on Amazon immediately upon release.

The number of views of this article: 171 835.

If you’ve been dating a girl for a while and you’re ready to take the next step toward getting closer, you’re probably wondering if that’s what the girl wants. You may think it’s easy enough to ask a girl, but if you ask the wrong question, she may not react the way you thought she would. To understand whether a girl is ready to have sex with you, analyze her words and behavior. In this article, you’ll learn how to figure out if a girl wants intimacy with you.

  • If she is not shy about touching, it means that she is comfortable in your presence. She will only be able to have sex with you if she is comfortable.
  • Pay attention to the way she dances with you. Maybe she has begun to snuggle up to you more. It is possible that she is hinting at something to you.

  • Just because a girl has had oral sex with you doesn’t mean she’s ready to have sex with you. Some girls perform oral sex because they’re not ready for penetrative sex, while others start performing oral sex only after penetrative sex. Others never have oral sex. All girls are different.
  • If you kiss for hours but your girlfriend does nothing else, she’s either waiting for you to do more or she’s not ready to have sex yet. If she pushes you away when you try to touch her breasts, remove her clothes, or touch the area between her legs, she is definitely not ready for more intimacy.

Consider whether she wants to spend more time alone with you. If all of a girl’s friends suddenly disappear and she wants to spend more time with you at home or in the bedroom, chances are she wants intimacy in some way. If she wasn’t ready, she would try to avoid uncomfortable situations and not be alone with you.

Remember if she invites you to her house. If you haven’t been to her house before without company, inviting you might be hinting that she wants more from you. If she makes a date near her house and then invites you over, she may want to have sex with you. This requires some planning and preparation. It is possible that she has carefully thought out how to bring you alone to her house.

  • This does not mean she is definitely ready to have sex, but it does indicate that she wants to be close to you.

  • Don’t show the condoms right away-it might scare the girl. Keep them with you in case your girlfriend is ready to have sex. Having to run to the drugstore can ruin the moment.

  • If you’re just making out on the couch and she’s not doing anything else, it might be too soon to ask her now.

  • Remember that the girl must be sober. Do not force the girl into something that she might agree to under the influence of alcohol and that she might regret later.

  • If she refuses, don’t bring it up for a while. Don’t ask her about sex every time you kiss her. This will bore her quickly. Take your time.

  • If she talks about sex when you’re alone with her, chances are high that she wants to have sex with you.
  • If she’s suddenly curious about which of your friends are already having sex and which aren’t yet, she’s probably thinking about when you’re going to have sex.

  • If she compliments you when you’re kissing or touching each other, the likelihood is high.

Notice if she has started talking about your bed more often. If she comes over to your house and touches your bed and says it’s very soft, she may be implying that she’d like to lie in it with you. If she lies down on the bed and says it’s very comfortable, she probably wants you to join her.

Think back and see if she is telling you that she is horny. This is a pretty bold move, but your girlfriend may tell you herself that she is in the mood for sex or wants intimacy. That doesn’t mean she’s ready to have sex right now, but if she tells you she’s in the mood for intimacy, that means it could happen soon.

Remember if she says inappropriate things to you. If a girl says lewd things to you over the phone, in text messages, or during intimacy, or even has phone sex with you, it’s quite possible that she wants to have sex with you. Of course, it could all just be talk, but if she’s comfortable talking to you like that, she’s probably ready for a new phase as well.

  • Don’t pressure the girl, let her make her decision without rushing.
  • Respect the girl’s decisions. If she’s not ready, get over it. Don’t pressure her – that way you will lose her.
  • Pay attention to whether she wants to talk about sex. If she does, she’s probably thinking the same thing you are. If she doesn’t want to have sex, she’s not likely to talk about it.
  • Consider whether this is the right time. Maybe because of the length of your relationship, the degree of intimacy, sexual activities you’ve had or haven’t had, or some other factor, this isn’t the right time for sex, even if you both would like it.
  • Don’t do it if you’re not ready. Don’t let anyone talk you into it – it’s up to you to decide.
  • Be careful. If your girlfriend wants to have sex, think about safety. Protected sex is always better.
  • Be patient. Sex is not the main thing in a relationship. Be your girlfriend’s best friend, protect her like a sister. Fight like adults, play like children. Wait six months and then think about sex. It’s important to take your time if you want a strong relationship. Remember that sex makes babies, so it’s worth making sure that she’s as good for you as you are for her.
  • Think about whether you yourself are ready for sex. Even if your girlfriend wants it, it doesn’t mean you have to take the relationship to the next level.
  • Let the girl make the decision herself.
  • Let the girl make the first move herself. Don’t push her.
  • Don’t worry and be honest about your desires.
  • Don’t try to have sex with a girl before she’s ready. This can scare her or make her feel coerced.
  • If she gets pregnant by you and decides to keep the baby, remember that you will have a legal obligation to the child.
  • Protect yourself and your partner from an unwanted pregnancy. Use condoms, birth control pills and other contraception. No, abortion is not an effective alternative to these methods. Contraceptives are much cheaper than possible child support.
  • If she says no, it means no. If she’s drunk, it means no. Even if she says nothing, it can mean no. Lack of rejection does not equal consent . Get clear consent from your girlfriend before you have sex. If you don’t, you could be accused of rape and sued. But, more importantly, it can provoke emotional trauma in the girl.
  • Think about what you will do if contraception fails. You both need to think about it ahead of time. The only thing worse than an unplanned pregnancy is arguing about what to do about it.
  • Protect yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The only contraception that protects against infections is the condom.

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About this article

Contributor(s): Mark Rosenfeld. Mark Rosenfeld founded Make Him Yours in 2015 and is now considered Australia’s leading dating and relationship coach for women. He specializes in helping people find, make and keep exceptional relationships. He has been written about by Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, and The Good Men Project. His dating videos have racked up over 60 million views, and his book, Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating, became a bestseller on Amazon immediately upon release. The number of views of this article: 171 835.

How to know a girl wants you – 42 signs of her desire

No one reads banal texts, that’s a fact. Every article should have some spice.

The expert – Victoria Fomina.

Physician sexologist highest category, psychiatrist and psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sex life.

Quite often members of the stronger sex face a situation where the person you like is a mystery, and it is absolutely unclear how to behave after a long courtship. Is it possible to go on an intimate attack? Does not wait a slap in the face for violating personal space? And how to understand that a girl wants you?

Recognize the mystery of women’s nature is difficult. However, some general information, even if not 100% accurate, but at least approximately, will help the guy to guess her mood and attitude towards his person.

42 signs of her “want.”

  • Does she laugh at your jokes?

If so, it’s a green light. Proven by experience: If she thinks all of your jokes are funny, even when others do not think so – she is in love with you. 100%.

  • Is she mirroring you?

Mirroring means that her body language – gestures, body position, posture follow yours, repeat your movements. For example, you drank from a glass – she did the same. You threw your leg over your leg – she did the same. These movements are done on a subconscious level, and mean that there is a subtle emotional connection between you. On the other hand, some people who know body language can mirror consciously. Either way, it will mean that she wants you to like her, to attract you. So it’s a great sign.

At the very least, it means she doesn’t want to lose sight of you or even want to get to know you better. So she’s interested. This, by the way, makes life easier for you, too: Social media provides many ways to show initiative and draw her attention to yourself.

  • How long are her messages to you?

Does she always reply succinctly, or does she send a whole sheet of text? If her responses are about the same as your messages or a little longer than yours, that’s great. But if you burst out with a little romance and the response is a smiley face or short answers, it’s better to slow down. Back off a little, pause, give the girl some space and time to get her interested in communicating with you again.

  • Is she flirting with you?

Any form of flirting, in principle, is usually a sign of her interest. When a girl flirts, that’s fine. It means that she expects the same from you. This creates a light casual atmosphere. You should relax and enjoy the moment.

  • Is she leaning toward you?

This is a common move: to show off her cleavage, to get your attention, to be closer, in the end. Leaning in to take something or ask you something is sending you certain signals. Recognize them in time.

  • How close is she?

Literally. If you feel her moving closer and closer to you during a conversation, that’s a good sign. It’s unlikely a girl would do that if she didn’t like you. There’s a nuance here: different cultures have different concepts of personal space. So if she’s from a different culture, you have to look in context.

  • Does she bite her lips?

A slight nibbling of the lips is a cute, flirty signal. If she bites her lips while listening to you, that’s doubly cool! Chances are, she’s already yours.

  • Is she smiling at you?

If she smiles at you from afar (for example from the next table in a restaurant) – it should be taken as an invitation to approach her or as a flirt. Of course, if you just remembered to zip your fly. If she smiles warmly at you during a conversation, even though you’re not even joking, it’s an ironclad sign that she likes you.

  • Does she lick her lips?

It’s similar to lip nibbling, but not as obvious. Nevertheless, it may indicate that she likes you.

  • How often does she blink?

If she blinks more than usual, that’s a good sign.

  • How big are her pupils?

If her pupils are dilated when she’s talking to you, it’s going well. That’s pretty hard to track. Pupil size can depend on the level of light, the quality of the girl’s vision, and other factors.

If you notice that she keeps eye contact with you even a little longer than usual, she’s probably interested in you. This kind of eye contact may even seem odd or awkward.

  • Is she smiling at you specifically?

Think back: when you’re in the same company, everyone is chatting, and you suddenly bump into each other’s eyes. Does she smile back at yours? If so, she likes you. That sign, just like a smile from a distance, is an invitation to chat.

  • Where does she look when she’s dancing?

This is relevant somewhere in a club or bar. If she moves to the rhythm of the music and at the same time looking at you – it means she wants your attention, lures. It’s up to you to make the first move!

  • What is her posture?

It is proven that if a girl wants to please a man, she straightens her back when he appears. So if in your presence a girl holds her posture, she wants you.

  • Who does she turn to most often?

If in the company of other people she most often refers to you, it means that she gives you preference among others. This is especially true if you’re not the most talkative person at all.

  • Where are her feet pointing?

When you’re chatting standing up, pay attention to the placement of the girl’s feet. If they’re pointing in your direction, it’s a sign of affection. If the person is unpleasant, her feet will be turned sideways, such as toward the exit, or toward another conversationalist.

  • Does she adjust her clothes or accessories?

Yes, it could be, a nervous tic, of course. But more likely, she just wants you to like her!

  • What do her palms look like?

Do you see them, at all? If a girl keeps her palms open when talking to you, that’s a signal of good disposition and trust. Yes, it’s a weak signal, but a positive one nonetheless.

  • Does she respond to your touch?

For example, if you touch her hand during a conversation, will she do the same in response? If she does, that’s a great sign! But it’s also worth paying attention to how she behaves with others. Maybe she’s just an open, outgoing person. Or on the contrary, if she is too shy, then she is unlikely to touch anyone even in return.

  • Does she touch you first?

The most frequent areas to touch are her arms, shoulders, back, or hips. The more intimate areas are her hands and hips. If she touches them, she’s probably seducing you.

  • Do you ever have involuntary physical contact?

This is when in the process of communication you accidentally, involuntarily touch. For example, you sit on a bench and touch your hips. Or chatting excitedly, and she suddenly grabs your hand in an emotional outburst. Or she throws herself into your arms in a frightening way. This kind of contact means a lot: it promotes sexual tension and rapprochement between you. And, by the way, they are a powerful tool of seduction.

  • How much attention does she give you?

More than others? For example, you seem to be in the company, but most of her attention is directed to you. She asks you a question. Or laughs at your jokes more than others. In general, the more attention she gives you, the more likely she is to give you something else…

  • Does she ever blush?

When you talk to her or look her in the eye. Maybe she’s just shy. But it’s much more likely that she’s embarrassed because she likes you. She might even be in love.

  • Is she watching you?

Girls can be pretty sneaky. She’s not likely to stare at you openly. Sometimes they can pretend to just look in the direction you happen to be. Or they just think and look right through you. There are even known cases when girls used reflections in windows to observe the guy they liked, and at the same time to see if he was looking at her. The most insidious way is with sunglasses. So if she often looks in your direction, she’s probably watching you. There’s a reason for that.

What happens when you’re done talking. Or for whatever reason, don’t find something to say? If she’s looking for a way to develop the topic and continue the conversation, that’s good, she likes talking to you, she’s interested.

  • Does she always answer your call?

Or a message? Quick answers are a clear sign of interest. She is waiting for your call.

If she’s always calling you first, it’s obvious she wants to communicate. But if you’re the only one who initiates the calls, trouble. It’s a sign of a distinct lack of interest and desire. It makes sense to take a step back and give her some time, maybe you’re just not giving her a chance to show that initiative.

Compare, who writes to whom more often? It’s simple here, if she writes more often, she’s more interested, if you are, you are.

  • Has she ever stuttered when talking to you?

Or stammered, suddenly interrupted her thought, forgot what she wanted to say. Maybe she’s 100 years old and just senile. But more likely, she’s embarrassed by her insecurities and her desire to please you.

Try taking a step forward during the conversation. How will she act? If she steps back and regains her distance, she’s still out of your reach. If she stays where she is, that means she enjoys your closeness.

  • Did she ever mention any plans together?

Planning to do something together in the future is a very strong indication of interest and feelings, most likely romantic. For example, you talk about some city, and she tells you that you definitely need to be there together. Or she promises to show you “this amazing place.

  • How does she react if you find common interests?

If she’s excited, that’s very good! That’s a strong identifier. Anything trivial can be common: her favorite food, or the area of town she grew up in, her favorite breed of dog.

  • Does she ask you personal questions?

If so, it means she’s trying to get to know you better, which means she’s clearly interested.

  • Has she asked about your plans for the day or weekend?

This can be a simple courtesy or another topic of conversation, but it’s also an opportunity to hint at a date, to find out if a meeting is possible. You can almost unmistakably tell it’s not idle curiosity if such questions arise at the end of a conversation.

  • Does she look embarrassed if you are alone?

If you can see that she’s embarrassed but doesn’t make any attempt to leave, that’s just fine! For example, you happened to meet at a cafe where she was out with her girlfriends. The girlfriends split up and the two of you were left alone. And she might even be a little confused, but she doesn’t leave. This situation is doubly good because it means approval from her friends, or they wouldn’t have left her.

This question is more relevant if you have already started dating. But it is such a significant sign of sympathy and approval that it is impossible not to mention it! Especially if the girl is from a culture where family approval is important. If the girl has told her family and friends about your relationship and you in particular, it means she already sees your future together and she’s happy with it. If so far only friends know – well, that’s something.

  • Has she ever offered you a massage?

Massage, of course, is first and foremost a useful thing. But on the other hand, it’s also a way to touch each other with impunity. Don’t forget to offer her a massage in return.

  • Is your best friend in love?

Is your friend acting strangely, differently than usual? Has she suddenly become jealous of other girls you pay attention to? Has she suddenly become more touchy and sensitive? Suddenly interested in your hobbies with special zeal? Hey! These are all clear signs that your best friend polshe does not want to be just a friend. Sounds like someone has fallen in love.

  • Are you sure a girl likes you yet?

You can’t be 100% sure how a girl feels about you based on this list alone. But there are three questions that, after thinking about them carefully, you’re sure to come up with the right answer:

  • How regularly does she show you signs of attention?
  • Does she treat you differently than others (maybe she flirts with everyone else)?
  • What particularly obvious signs of attention to you has she shown?
  • Are you still not sure if this girl likes you?

Sometimes you can just ask. More often than not, you won’t lose anything. If the answer is “no,” you can always turn the conversation into a joke. And if the answer is yes, go ahead, she wants you!

Verbal Signs

  • First of all, verbal signs of the positive attitude of a nice person to herself, men can consider compliments. She will talk about strength, intelligence, beautiful body, sense of style. She will assess the voice, hairstyle, gait, note the large size of the hand, in case it is.
  • She will ask if you have a wife or a steady girlfriend.
  • She might ask provocative questions. Does he cheat on his wife? Or how does he feel about cheating if he’s not married? How does he feel about casual sex? Or intimacy on a first date?
  • She’s looking to meet and socialize on her own.
  • She always responds to messages and calls.
  • She writes or calls at night.

Non-verbal signs.

All women from small to large want to look perfect in the eyes of the guy she likes. And if next to a representative of the opposite sex, the lady makes any attempt to dress up, it means it is important for her to leave a pleasant impression about herself. Which indirectly could mean her desire to continue communicating.

  • She fixes her hair, touches her hair, rubs a strand of hair, or twists it on her finger.
  • She opens her neck by throwing her hair back, or tilting her head slightly.
  • The girl sits in an open pose, and gestures to show her boyfriend’s wrists.
  • She lets her hair down, under the pretext of being uncomfortable, or needing to fix her hair.
  • The modest-looking lady laughs quite loudly, drawing attention to herself.
  • As she speaks, the girl leans toward the person she likes.
  • She doesn’t look away, and seems to scrutinize the guy intently.
  • Her gaze moves fluently over the man’s face and torso.
  • She shows off her body by taking off her jacket, exposing her shoulders, breasts, and legs.

From a physiological point of view, non-verbal signs signifying sexual arousal can be:

  • The girl’s pupils, or perhaps her eyes, dilate.
  • Her chest heaves high, and her breathing becomes heavier and more frequent.
  • She brings her knees together, or puts her leg over her leg.
  • An unwarranted blush of dialogue appears on her cheeks.
  • Her voice becomes lower and her speech with a gasp.


  • A woman experiencing attraction will also try to figure out if her partner is interested in her, and it is not surprising if at some point, on a hot summer evening, she announces that she is chilly. Naturally, in the summer it is difficult to meet a gentleman in a jacket, and the only way to warm the lady you like is to cuddle.
  • The girl invites him to her house. She says that her parents will not be home. Or on plausible pretext invites a young man into the house, for example, to fix the computer, or move a heavy chair.
  • The opposite situation is also possible, she unobtrusively asks to visit the man. Perhaps offering some kind of household assistance on the feminine side.
  • She asks to accompany her home, under the pretext of fear or fatigue, leaning on a strong male shoulder, and imitating fright grabs hold of the hand escort.
  • She hints at, or outright says, that she has not had a partner in a long time, or at least that she is not currently in a relationship.


  • The lady tries to be alone with the guy. In a guest or in a cafe, if a man went out for a smoke break or just to get some fresh air, she immediately finds herself next to him.
  • A clear sign of sympathy and a desire to get close is an attempt by the girl to touch the young man. With casual touching she probes the ground and evaluates the reaction of the interlocutor.
  • Direct actions indicating a woman’s desire to become intimate are frank movements and touching a man. Under the table she sticks her leg, fingertips spoiling his pant leg, sometimes climbing under it. She touches the guy’s back or shoulder with her hands, her palms.
  • The girl starts rubbing the guy’s shoulders, touching him under the pretext of a massage.
  • She kisses the young man, ostensibly as a friend, or already openly.
  • She hugs when meeting and saying goodbye, and when possible in between.

Many subtle hints, physiological and psychological signs of a woman’s lust, are still not comparable to her frank request to possess her. And a naked girl lying in the same bed with a guy is no guarantee that she wants him. Maybe there’s a different meaning to the sex. How do you know if a girl wants you? This question can be answered reliably by the lovely lady herself.

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