25 Ways to get your child to listen to you
1. Make eye contact at your child’s level (squat, for example) .
2. call her by her name.
3. Speak briefly and clearly. Most importantly, speak in one sentence. The more you talk, the less the child will listen to you now and in the future.
4. Speak simply. In short words, in sentences. Talk in the same way as he does.
5. Ask your baby to repeat your request or task.
6. Make suggestions that he can’t refuse (Get dressed to go and play outside) .
7. Be positive (instead of “You can’t run”, it’s better to say “We walk at home, but we can run outside”).
8. Start the task with the words “I want” . Children like to please their parents, but they don’t like orders. This is just the way to combine .
9. “When you … then” is better than “If you, then” . This way you don’t give the baby a choice to disobey if the second part offers something he likes. “When you brush your teeth, we’ll start reading a book” .
10. Talk about what you want in person, distract your baby. Instead of yelling “Quick dinner” from the kitchen When your child is watching cartoons, go up to him, sit with him for a couple of minutes, during the commercials take him to eat.
11. Give the “right” choice“Do you want to put on your pajamas or brush your teeth first?” , “Do you want to wear the red hat or the blue hat?” .
12. Ask age-appropriate questions. Not all 3-year-olds (and not all adults) can answer the questionWhy did you do that? , it’s better to say.Let’s talk about what you did.
13. 13. “Please” and “thank you” are words for everyone, if you teach your baby to say them to you, use them yourself when talking to him.
14. Speak psychologically correctInstead of “You have to” – “I want you to”. If the question implies a negative answer (as an option, it is better to just ask“Take your coat, please” instead of “Can you take your coat?” .
15. Leave funny reminders, notes. This is also a way to communicate with your child.
16. The louder the baby screams, the calmer you speak. Sometimes say “I understand you” or “How can I help?” .
17. Calm down first, then talk .
18. Repeat what you have said from time to time. Sometimes it’s hard for children to remember. But the older the child, the fewer times you have to do it.
19. Let the toddler finish the thought.
20. Give tasks in rhyme.
21. Rejecting, give an alternative“You can’t go to the park by yourself yet, but you can play with your friends in the next yard.
22. Give advice“We’re going out soon, say bye-bye to the dolls, to Teddy Bear.
Avoid “yes-no” questions when talking to closed-ended children, rather make the questions “narrowly specific” . Instead of “Did you have a good day at school?” , it is better to “What did you like best?” .
24. Talk about how you feel, Children don’t like to do bad things to their parents.: “When you run away in the store, I get really scared that I’m going to lose you.”
25. When you could not change the baby’s mind, do not go to a “business tone”, it is better to calmly. But confidently say, “I’m not going to change my mind about this. I’m sorry,” than to bark, “This conversation is over.
Childhood is a daily discovery of the world, so we must make it so that it becomes, above all, a knowledge of man and Fatherland “The origins of children’s abilities and talents are at their fingertips. From the fingers, figuratively speaking, go thin threads-rooks, which feed the source.
To make a child grow up healthy and obedient To make a child grow up healthy and obedient To make a child grow up healthy and obedient he must from the first day of life constantly feel unconditional.
Photo-report “So there would be no fires, so there would be no trouble” Fire can be a helper and protector. It heated caves and dwellings, scared off fierce predators, and cooked food. Then people invented.
Interactive game with parents “So there won’t be a fire, so there won’t be trouble” Host. Now I’m going to introduce you to some of the techniques that I use in my work with children. I invite you to take part in an interactive game.
Counseling for parents, “How to make your child understand you” The Psychologist’s Page. How to make your child understand you. Parents, due to different life circumstances, experience different emotions:.
Class hour for students in grades 5-6 “Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you” Goal: to increase tolerance and prevention of conflicts in interpersonal relationships of students. Objectives: -Education of a benevolent attitude.
The outline of the lesson on life safety “So there was no fire, so there would be no trouble” in the second youngest group outline of life safety on the theme: “So there was no fire, so there would be no trouble” in the second nursery group № 2. The tutor: Kukina O. Program content:.
The prospect of a parent meeting of the second youngest group “Lest there was a fire, that there was no trouble” Plan: 1. The introductory word of the leader (the designation of the problem). 2. “Let’s play” with parents. 3. Presentation of the project. 4. Summing up.
Consultation “So that the child grows up healthy! Counseling for parents on the topic: “So that the child grows up healthy! Simagina Anastasia Petrovna Mulyukhina Natalia Nikolaevna Consultation.
Consultation of a teacher-psychologist for parents of preschoolers “Six tips to make you listen carefully” It seems that children at a certain age have selective hearing. They hear the television, friends, and even.
“One, two, three!” in response to “Buy!” How to deal with bad behavior
Changing a child’s behavior is by simple counting. The inevitability of consequences.
Nevena Lovrinčević is a psychologist. She has worked with children and adolescents for more than 20 years, dealing with psychodiagnosis, sleep disorders, prevention of emotional breakdowns and deviant behavior.
With the help of psychologist Nevena Lovrinčević we have already found out that it is ineffective to try to explain and persuade when a child misbehaves. Today, about an effective method of parenting: a parent is invited to simply count to three, expecting the child to change his or her behavior. Amazingly, it works!
Let’s think back to the situation described in last week’s article.
Mom and child at an amusement park. – Mom, can I go on another ride? – No, you can’t. We said we’d do it three times, and then we’d go home. – Come on, Mom, please! – Okay. I start counting. One, two. – Whew! The child sniffles unhappily and heads towards home.
If you’re not familiar with the “one, two, three!” method, it’s hard to understand how you can get a child to change behavior with just counting. Is there magic involved? Not at all. When you learn this great way, you’ll see for yourself in its elementary simplicity and miraculous power. With its help you can make a child from two to twelve years of obedience to you in the first place.
What is this method?
How to make a child obey from the first time
By using the “One, two, three!” method, the parent is letting the child know: with the score I am warning you that your behavior is unacceptable. If you don’t stop behaving badly while I count to three, you will incur the consequence – isolation, time out.
Stefan teases his younger brother. Mom, after asking him to stop, starts counting: -Stephen! One. – I’m not doing anything to him! – Two. – All right, all right, all right! You can’t even make a joke.
Sandra’s dad repeatedly admonishes his daughter to be quiet while he’s on the phone. But as soon as he picks up the phone, she immediately starts making noise. Sandra’s father stares at his daughter and, without interrupting the conversation, raises his finger up, signifying the beginning of the countdown: “One. ” Sandra grunts and retires to her room.
So what’s the magic?
By using this method, the parent avoids the two biggest mistakes that destroy their authority but don’t solve the problem: lots of unnecessary words and lots of emotion . If it is clear to the child what exactly you are unhappy with in his behavior (whether he fights, snares, etc.), then by starting the countdown you are thereby letting him know in a short, clear and concise way: “Think about your behavior or you will be responsible for the consequences yourself!”
Over time, when the child is convinced by trial and error that these are not empty words, and experience the consequences of time-out, he will begin to respond to the “one. “, and the parent will be able to enjoy not only the result, but also the ease of influencing the child without all the nerve-racking. And how much it will strengthen his self-confidence and authority in the eyes of the child! And in a completely adequate way.
Inevitability of consequences
Behind this effective method lies the principle of the inevitability of consequences. The child learns to be responsible for consequences of the behavior and to make a choice: or to continue in the same way and to pay for the consequences, or to stop the inappropriate behavior, having avoided the consequences to which it leads, and also to earn praise.
The moment the countdown begins, the child is faced with the need to reconsider his behavior and make a choice: continue or stop. Consequences for him/her are inevitable in both cases, but they can be either positive or negative.
In such an approach, when the child learns to choose and be responsible for the consequences of his or her choices, the parent does not simply achieve a resolution of a specific situation, but, what is much more important, creates an attitude in the child that you are responsible for your actions and can influence the development of the situation by making the right decisions. Such an approach makes the child more independent and his or her behavior more mature and responsible.
When we don’t like a child’s behavior, but we’re going along with it – we give in to persuasion and buy ice cream or use threats: “Come home, I’ll arrange it for you. You won’t leave my house for a month. You won’t play the computer for three months. “It’s not important what we say, but what we do. If, after half an hour of whining, we still buy a toy, the child sees clearly: “Mom’s words can skip your ears. We need to whimper, cry, nag – and the job is done.
Yes, yes, the child does everything exactly as you taught him. Of course, you do not want to achieve this, but instilled in a child this thought.
Imagine that you are stopped by a traffic cop on the road and began to scold angrily: “Well, have you seen the sign? What speed is it? 110? Exactly. And how fast were you going? Why were you driving 140 kilometers per hour? It’s unacceptable to endanger other road users!”
So with you no one will explain for one simple reason: it is ineffective. But you will certainly get a fine. And after that the traffic cop won’t have to follow you all the way home to check whether you comply with the speed limit, and explain why it’s wrong to exceed the permitted speed. You have received a fine as a consequence of your behavior, and it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to exceed the speed limit next time.
So, the principle of inevitability of consequences is effective and gives excellent results – and not only in education of children.
Let the child be angry
Some parents refrain from using the method “One, two, three!” because of the child’s response. Naturally, the child will not be happy when he hears you say, “One!” because to him it means that he needs to reconsider and change his behavior. In most cases, the child will still do what the parent insists with a grunt or with obvious anger and protest. There are parents who suffer from this reaction and begin either to rebuke the child (“You have no right to be angry. “) or to explain their action.
It is very important that the parent, on the one hand, not fall into the “I’m afraid to make the child angry” trap, and on the other hand, not weaken his or her position with excessive verbiage and excuses. Just let the child be angry. He has a right to it, and for you at this moment the most important thing – to achieve the desired change of behavior, no matter, with or without grumbling. The child’s anger is a normal reaction to a nuisance, and the parent who calls for order is the one who gets in the way of doing things his or her own way. You can’t count on a child, especially in this acute moment of clashing interests, to understand: you are doing this for his own good.