12 ways to get over the man you can’t get over, no matter how much you love him
Realizing that you are not destined to be together with a certain man is very hard, but it will be even worse if you do succumb to your feelings.
There is a difference between situations where you fall in love with the right young man and when you find yourself in love with someone you can never be with.
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Every girl has fallen in love at least once in her life with someone she can’t make it work. If you haven’t encountered one – you’re lucky. You can imagine how much you want to learn not to fall in love with the wrong man to those who are familiar with this unpleasant feeling.
Sometimes you can not do anything about the situation, and sometimes you try to do everything possible to break the man. This is really very difficult. However, if you know what to do, everything becomes possible.
Why you may not want to fall in love with someone.
There can be many reasons: you know that this man is not worthy of you or he is already in a relationship with someone close to you, such as a good friend or family member. Because of this, you just need to suppress the feeling of falling in love.
You may already have a lover. In order not to harm the important things and people in your life, you should know in advance about how to avoid falling in love.
How not to fall in love when you know you won’t make it with this man
Realizing that you are not destined to be together with a certain person is very hard. It can affect your mental health, but it will be even worse if you do succumb to your feelings. Here are some tips to help you not fall in love with someone.
Now is not the time for fairy tale fantasies, but to pull yourself together and be honest with yourself. Sit down and start thinking realistically. Yes, it would be great to be with this man. He is charming and attracts you.
Think about what your relationship would be like. Since you don’t want to fall in love with this man, there is a problem. Evaluate its seriousness. This is not a problem that will be easy to deal with, so stop trying.
2. Repeat in your mind the reasons you can’t be together.
Once you have clearly identified these reasons, keep repeating them. You need regular reminders to yourself of why you should avoid this relationship.
So keep telling yourself why you can’t be together. This will have a distracting effect.
3. Talk to your friends.
As long as the object of your crush isn’t dating any of your friends, you can discuss it with them. Listen to your friends’ opinions, you can even ask them to distract you from thinking about this man.
Your friends will be able to objectively assess the situation. They care about you, so they will be extremely careful. However, if they understand that an unwanted relationship will cause you significant harm in the future, they will be extremely honest about why you shouldn’t fall in love. If they are not honest, then they are not good friends.
Avoid meeting the object of your crush
If you can, stay away from all places where there is a possibility of meeting the person you are in love with. Sometimes it can be difficult, but you have to try.
If you see the man somewhere, leave before he sees you, too. If the young man is dating someone you know or relatives, the task will become noticeably more difficult. However, you can still stay away from him and avoid long conversations.
5. Don’t follow him on social media.
This will be the hardest rule to follow, but it should be followed. You can’t keep checking his page all the time. I know you do it anyway, but you need to get rid of this habit.
Remove the man from your Facebook friends and unsubscribe from his other networks. You don’t need to see him all the time and be upset that you’re not meant to be together.
6. Stop talking about him.
Everyone has a tendency to talk a lot about the object of their crush. I know I annoy my friend enough with constant stories about men. If you’re trying not to fall in love with someone, stop talking about him.
Stop bragging about his positive traits. The next time you want to mention him, just stop. It’s not worth it.
7. Think about the flaws.
He’s bound to have flaws. Now a man may seem perfect, but he’s not. Constantly think about his shortcomings.
Whenever you think of him, think of his flaws as well. They will help you understand why you can’t be a good couple.
8. Focus on yourself.
The best way not to fall in love is to focus on yourself. Be selfish. Taking up a favorite hobby and going out with friends can help distract you. The less you think about a man, the less chance you have of falling in love with him. So go to the gym or a club, have fun and enjoy life.
9. Get to know other people
There’s no better way than to fall in love with another young person if you want to get over someone. Go out and get to know them! If you meet someone just as attractive, you’ll forget about the previous candidate in no time.
10. Think about the consequences.
There are consequences to having a relationship with that person. That’s why you’re so eager not to fall in love with him. Repeat them regularly in your mind.
11 Push Him Away.
If the person likes you back, it’s much easier to fall in love. Keep him at a distance. Don’t strike up a conversation with him and make it clear that you’re not even interested in friendship. Just be disinterested.
12. Promise yourself not to fall in love.
If you keep doubting yourself, you’ll have a better chance of falling in love. You will see the possibility in front of you and won’t be able to stop in time.
Promise yourself that you will not fall in love with this man. To do this, you need to learn to be disciplined. Make the desire not to fall in love a commitment and keep it.
Love is a complicated thing. You may think that you can’t get in the way of feeling in love, but by following these tips, you’ll learn how to get your mind off of someone you can’t be with.
7 wise tips to help you get over someone who was never yours
Surely at least once in your life you’ve met that person… You know, the one who was the embodiment of all your desires. When he came close to you, butterflies fluttered in your stomach, and the day spent away from him seemed gloomy and rainy, even if the sun was shining outside. He was perfect, and everything would have been fine… except for one big “but.
You love this man to bits, and maybe he once even reciprocated in some way, only you’re not meant to be together, no matter what you do. Because as time moves on, he too changes. And you watch in despair as he makes new friends, moves away from you… And now he is completely unavailable to you: either he is married and with children, or even went somewhere far away, and you have lost contact with him. So how to get over the pain of losing someone who was never really yours?
1. Do not try to say goodbye to him, it will not work
You may think that the old love is in the past, that you have forgotten about it, and that everything is okay. And it can be true: you can go days or months without thinking at all about the person you once loved, his voice, his face and the warm feelings you had around him. But if something reminds you of him, and there he is again fills all your thoughts, does not let you sleep… And you think that perhaps then you were foolish not to try to keep him at all costs.
Sometimes it makes you climb on Facebook, look for his page, and message after message to greedily learn what has happened in his life since your last meeting. So you tell yourself each time you do this, that you have to say goodbye to him in your head and let him go… But you don’t really need to. It is better to remember him. Remember the feelings you had for this man. Remember that love. All the more so.
2. You can fall in love with another person. This is true.
Instead of trying to get rid of your love, rekindle it. Embrace the feeling. Embrace it, and… turn it toward someone else. Because if you were able to love one person so deeply, you can do it again. Don’t do that to yourself, don’t give up on love just because one day it’s gone. We all miss a big fish now and then, but it’s not the end of the world. So reel in your fishing rod, dig up some fresh worms, and cast it somewhere fishy again.
3. it was failure that made you stronger.
Yes, it hurts. It’s unpleasant. Your heart still remembers the shock you felt when you realized you were never going to be together. But that’s okay. And do you know why? Because that failure made you stronger.
When you realize that you survived even without the person you once thought you couldn’t live without, it makes you stronger and more confident. And when you realize this, look at that person’s life and realize that they are also quite happy without you. And it means that all is well, and you will still find your love.
4. Real love is not selfish.
Let him go where he can be happy and trust that this selfless act will one day be rewarded. True love is always unselfish.
But sometimes you break up with someone you can’t get over because he is on a different, much darker path. Sometimes you do not break up because he has found someone else with whom he can be happy.
Maybe it turns out that he likes booze, drugs, gambling and other things more than he likes you. Or maybe he enjoyed humiliating you, clipping your wings, stomping your dreams into the dust, and laughing at every attempt to better himself. And it went on until you gathered your wits and decided you’d had enough.
If so, you know you did absolutely the right thing. Yes, perhaps this man was once a true knight in shining armor. But even if he was, he isn’t anymore. And so never forget who that person once was to you, but distance yourself from who he has become now.
5. The person you once loved no longer exists.
In his place was a stranger, not necessarily in your good graces. So stop trying to convince yourself that everything can still be fixed. You know that if you try to insert a piece of the mosaic in a wrong place, you won’t succeed, no matter how similar its form is to the right one. So don’t take that burden on yourself, or it will bury you. Don’t.
That love and happiness from the past that you can never forget will never come back. Don’t deceive yourself. If anything could still be fixed, if your ex-partner really loved you, he would have already accepted your attempts to glue the broken pieces back together. He would have changed for you.
6. Break the illusion.
Let him go. Break the illusion. You deserve better than a man who sees you at best as an annoying nuisance or a lapdog ready to fetch slippers in his teeth at short notice. True love is so deep and pure (on both sides!) that it cannot be destroyed or led astray.
True love simply doesn’t need to be “fixed,” it doesn’t need to be pursued, and it never runs into an impregnable wall.
7. Break this vicious circle.
Do something new. Try to realize that you have received a firm and unequivocal rejection of reciprocity. That you are sad is quite normal, but instead of letting that sadness drag you down, use it, together with your feelings of anger and frustration, to see the situation for what it is.
And once you do that, you will realize that this relationship can no longer be saved, that all that is left of it is a shell that can no longer be filled with life, and you should move on. Say a firm “no” to their attempts to achieve the unattainable. And now that you’re ready to leave this unrequited, one-sided love behind, it’s time to do the following:
- Understand, the pain you’re feeling right now is perfectly normal. Scientists have found that a difficult breakup triggers almost the same feelings in our brains as “withdrawal” after drugs.
- Don’t downplay your feelings. Never say things to yourself like, “I never really loved him.” If you lie to yourself, it will only make things worse. Instead, try to be alone with yourself, even if it’s just a walk in the park, and figure out how you feel. No matter how long you broke up with your partner, it is important to understand what is happening to you.
- Don’t let the situation break you down. If you’ve broken out of a toxic relationship, wanting to close off from the world for a few days and be alone with yourself is understandable, but don’t close off from the world for long. Focus on your life, not your ex-partner’s life. Engage in those life challenges that concern you, and only you.
- Understand that it takes two to love. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way life is. You can’t force someone to love you. The only thing in this life that we can really control is our own thoughts and actions and reactions to what happens to us.
And believe me, you will feel better. Yes, it will take some time, but you will feel better. Do everything you can to quickly put this period of life behind you, even if to do so you have to throw away some memorabilia or stop putting your favorite cafes where you spent time together. And if you want to talk to someone about it – whether it’s a friend or a psychologist – that’s perfectly fine. No specialist will consider your problems with unrequited love something unworthy of attention.
And also remember that our memory is arranged in a rather mysterious way. You still will occasionally remember your former partner – his face, his laughter, and how good you were together. When those memories pop into your head, just smile and realize that it’s in the past, but it’s what made you the person you became.
You are a strong and self-sufficient person, and in time you will meet someone who will truly love you.