How do men react to being ignored?

Male manipulation by silence and ignoring – how does a girl behave? Detailed analysis

The most unpleasant thing in a relationship is when one partner manipulates the other. Such a situation is unhealthy and requires urgent action. In this article you will learn why manipulation by silence and ignoring is the most toxic to the psyche, and I will also tell you how to behave in a situation when they start playing silence with you.

After reading this article you will learn how to respond to manipulation correctly, and you will understand and see your partner’s goals through it.

Manipulation by silence and ignoring – how to behave and react properly

Manipulation by silence and ignoring is a form of passive aggression.

Many people mistakenly believe that total silence is better than yelling and scandals with flying plates into the wall. In fact the opposite is true. The fact is that the silence is the most severe and destructive to the psyche type of manipulation.

Before you know how to behave in such a situation, you should first understand the reasons for this behavior in men.

The reasons may be the following:

  • The man himself became the object of manipulation by silence as a child;
  • He began to use this manipulation himself and it worked!
  • The man may be acting this way because he has been unheard for a long time;

To stop using manipulation with you, you need to make it stop working.

How to respond to ignoring and silence

Important: Don’t fall for manipulation. Make the mistake of doubling up on the person, responding to their ignoring or asking for forgiveness.

It is your reaction to ignoring is the main purpose of the manipulator. He wants to provoke feelings of guilt, anger, loss of control, etc. in you. And if the person manages to pull this off once, the manipulation will happen regularly.

When the person has stopped talking to you and started ignoring you, tell him the following phrase: “I understand your feelings, you need to be alone. Let me know when you’re ready to discuss the problem – you tell me about it and we’ll talk.”

And then you just leave the person alone and don’t touch him.

If the manipulation continues, it is very important to know the following rule: do to people as they do to you. If they are being cold towards you, then you need to do the same. And with twice the force. Manipulator must understand that no one will run around him, and his silence will not achieve anything. The highest level – is when you do not react to such provocations on an internal level.

What is manipulation really about

Manipulation is a tool to control and impose one’s interests to the detriment of another person.

For example, by keeping silent, the person may want to make you feel guilty. So that you realize your “wrong” behavior and start apologizing.

But even if your behavior was wrong, in such a situation (when you are ignored) your apology and making amends will play a cruel joke. You’ll simply encourage your partner’s negative behavior, and then he or she will go through the manipulation all over again. After all, if manipulation works, why refuse to use it?

You can only apologize when your partner is open to dialogue, in other situations not!

Read on the same topic: Signs of a toxic relationship with a man – in simple words (Opens in a new tab)

50% of success in solving a problem is being aware of it. So as soon as your partner starts ignoring and not talking to you, the first thing to do is to realize that you are now being manipulated. Understanding the situation already changes your behavior.

How a boycott affects a person

I wrote at the very beginning of this article that playing silent is the hardest kind of manipulation. But why? Because from the outside it seems like the most innocuous way to influence a person. No fists are used and there is no physical violence. Then what is the problem?

Man is a social creature, who by his very nature needs contact with other people. As soon as this opportunity is deprived, the psyche begins to experience stress.

One of the worst punishments invented by man is social deprivation. When a person is deprived of contact with other people.

Solitary confinement is the harshest test for a prisoner.

So when someone close to you stops talking to you, it is painful on a physiological level.

Deprivation is especially painful in relationships. Because it is a relationship that satisfies a person’s need to be needed and loved. And in the moment of total ignoring, you are made to understand that you do not exist, and you are not needed. This is what has the most devastating effect.

I have shared with you a phrase and a pattern of behavior that can help in a one-time situation. But what to do if manipulation by silence is repeated over and over again?

What to do if your partner regularly manipulates and plays the silent game? Now you know what effect total ignoring has on the psyche. You need to talk to your partner and explain the situation to him. If you remain unheard, that’s a good reason to break off the relationship.

You just find yourself in a situation where you are better off without the relationship than with it. After all, when you are regularly manipulated it can not bring happiness.

Choose partners initially not prone to manipulation. Otherwise you will have to suffer a lot.

Now I will share with you the signs by which you can calculate a toxic man. This will help you in the future not to step on the same rake.

Signs of a toxic man – Top 6

At the very beginning of your interaction with a man, pay attention to his behavior and thinking. If he has one or more of the signs written below, it is better to avoid communicating with such a man.

Trait #1 – Negative Attitudes

Such a person may: – Speak disparagingly to those below him in status (waiters, service personnel, etc.); – Speak negatively about others; – Blame everyone around him, etc;

If a man is arrogant with a waiter for example, you can be sure he will eventually talk to you that way too.

Sign #2 – Attitude towards Parents

Pay attention to how the man talks to his parents. If he speaks disparagingly to his mother, is rude, does not put her in anything, then the same will be his behavior in your couple.

Sign #3 – The Piker

A male player is a pick-up artist. A woman to him is just another victim. How dangerous is this type of man? A good pick-up man knows how to get her interested and fall in love.

In a few words I will tell you how to unmask such a man.

From the first seconds he is easy to talk to. Usually men are a little shy with girls they don’t know. This is not the case with a pickup artist, but he can tell an interesting story and is emotionally charged from the first second. He can periodically disappear, and then appear as if nothing had happened. This kind of guy is like playing life, for him everything is a game and everything is easy.

A pickup truck is bad because you cannot build something serious with him. Also, in this game he is the leader, and the girl is the slave. Therefore it is the victim who experiences the unshared feelings.

Sign #4 – Manipulator

There are people who achieve their goals through manipulation. A man prone to manipulation is generally better to avoid, and definitely should not build a relationship with him.

Sign #5 – The environment

There is an opinion that a person is the average of the five people that surround him. There is indeed a rational reason for this. Pay attention to your man’s friends. Who are they? What they do and what worldview they have. Because unlike parents, friends are chosen. And friends are almost always similar worldview, interests and stuff like that. If his environment repulses you, that’s a reason to think.

Sign #6 – Depreciates any success

Recently watched an interview on Youtube of a successful man who created a fistfighting league. In a story about his parents, he said that his father was a general and they lived well, but not rich. And he achieved everything on his own.

How much criticism there was in the comments addressed to him: Nobleman; Daddy is a general, but he pours into his ears that he achieved everything himself; He is something rotten inside; And so on.

Only a few said that the man is good, and he is really good.

Well, there are men who devalue any success. In their picture of the world, there is no way to earn it yourself. Money can either be stolen or inherited. There is no other way.

What are the dangers of this type of man? The fact is that if you start to achieve any results in life, such people will pull you down. They will not allow you to succeed. I am already silent about the fact that such men themselves do not become successful – it is obvious.

Conclusion

Now you know why the manipulation of silence and ignoring is the most toxic to the psyche, you also know how to behave in such a situation. In conclusion, I would like to say that the most useless thing you can do in communication is to resist manipulation.

The best way to defeat the manipulator is to refuse his “game”. You simply do not benefit from participating in it, a lot of effort and energy is wasted. It is better to initially communicate and build relationships with people who do not play dirty games and do not manipulate your feelings.

That’s it for me. If this article was helpful to you – share it on social networks. If you still have any questions – you can always ask them in the comments.

What a man feels when he ignores a woman

Why do women resort to ignoring as a way to rekindle their interest? Manipulating the feelings of a loved one is despicable. Can a relationship built on such a basis, to be truly warm and sincere?

I once had a frank conversation with my ex-husband. I now realize that if we could have talked like that when we were married, we probably wouldn’t have been exes (but that’s another story). One of the topics touched on in the conversation was ignoring. I ignored him, and I ignored him very severely, and I couldn’t talk to him for weeks.

I wondered how a man felt when he was ignored by a woman, and he wondered why I did it.

Through this conversation, this article was born.

Ignoring as a method of psychological influence

After interviewing friends and family, I found out that everyone has encountered ignoring, either in relation to themselves or in relation to someone else. The purpose, in fact, two: to ignite interest or to punish. By the way, it is now fashionable to say not “ignore” but “guesting”. Gosting means ignoring. What is this method and how effective is it?

Why do women do it?

Why do women resort to ignoring as a way to spark interest in themselves? You often hear things like:

– Here’s a situation I’m in right now where I’m not sure my young man needs me. We’re together every day, but I feel like I’m just a piece of furniture. He has me, and that’s it. It’s okay, like. Where’s the attention? Where is the loving look? The desire to spend time together? Arrived, had dinner, slept, woke up, left for work. That’s it! Here I am also thinking, maybe become a little colder? I do not want to play these games, but I have to…

When a woman deliberately decides to ignore a man in order to ignite his interest, she just does not have confidence in him. And in herself, too. Instead of building a relationship on love and trust, she builds it on fear.

Have you ever noticed how some moms scare their kids by saying, “Ah, you don’t listen? That’s it, I’m leaving, stay here alone” . And they pretend to leave. Some children get scared and cry and run after their mother, but there are also those who are not afraid to be left alone…

Manipulating the feelings of a loved one is despicable. Can a relationship built on such a basis, to be truly warm and sincere? Answer honestly for yourself.

Ignoring tactics are like gasoline for a blazing fire – will light up, but not for long, because there is nothing to burn – the wood has almost burned out.

We have to admit that, yes, we do not know how to do it differently, because no one has taught us how to build a relationship with a man. We act at random or after listening to “wise” advice.

We hear and even agree that everything in the family depends on the woman. This sounds great in theory, but in practice nothing works. Heating passions gradually fades to zero, there are mutual recriminations, followed by a quarrel, and then close to a breakup. Then a new relationship with the hope: maybe this time you will be lucky?

Happy relationship – it’s not a matter of luck, it’s a matter of understanding. When you know all about your man to the hypothalamus, then do not even think – whether to ignore the man. Because when you feel the slightest movement of his soul, manipulation and tricks are simply not necessary.

“…System Vector Psychology training provides perfectly accurate knowledge for those who want to be happy, want to understand other people and build relationships on love, understanding and respect for other people, even if they are not at all like you. “

When silence is worse than shouting

While some ignore in order to rekindle interest, others do so in order to punish. This is my case, too.

When we fought, and we did it often, I punished my husband with silence, total ignoring. Any attempts to get through to me broke through the wall of silence. If something in the relationship was not going the way I wanted, if I could not influence the situation, if I felt that I was losing control, I would ignore it. I would get offended, I would shut down, and I would remain silent, showing complete indifference, while resentment and fear raged inside.

– I wish you’d shouted and hit the dishes,” he said, your silence was killing me.

– I’m sorry, I just didn’t know any other way.

Why do some people throw tantrums and others stun in silence? Why does one choose to ignore instead of even the most hurtful conversation?

The Cold War of Childhood, or Where Does the Will to Ignore Come From?

What was the worst punishment for you as a child? Most respondents said that for them the harshest punishment was a parental boycott.

I grew up as a normal kid: I did well in school, tried to help, however, I was quite energetic – always eager to run, climb somewhere, jump. They almost never beat me, because my mother considered that it is not pedagogical to beat and raise the voice of children. But I was brought up in a more subtle way – simply ignored, expressing in this way my dissatisfaction with my behavior.

As a child I often did not even understand why I was punished. They would not even listen to any of my excuses, and nobody was going to explain what exactly you had done wrong.

– Go to the corner, you fool. Stand there and think about what you are doing.

Usually you stand in the corner all night, agonizing over what to apologize for. It was better to stand a little longer, because it’s not a given that you’ll be forgiven the first time. I hated that moment, because when I got up the courage to go, I would stumble into an icy indifference, a scornful look. You can no longer stand in the corner, but you do not talk to you for a few days.

It’s not right, I think, everyone deserves an explanation.

What happens to a child who is ignored?

He feels like an empty space. He looks for a reason for this treatment of himself, thinking, “I must be so bad that I don’t even deserve attention.”

Gradually there is a feeling that no one needs him, as if he were an abandoned, forgotten toy. He feels crossed off the family list.

Guilt becomes a constant companion. Later, this can be joined by anger – the child becomes angry. Or resentment – he will withdraw into himself and begin to be silent in response. Or he/she will show off by his/her demeanor, bringing out the neglected one’s emotions and making him/her react in some way. The specifics of the reaction depend on the device of the child’s psyche.

Ignoring is a rather cruel way to make a child obedient and defiant.

No one deserves such an attitude.

Ignoring is a ban on feelings

Parents who use ignoring as a method of education, usually act as a pattern: they do not give the child an opportunity to explain their actions.

Such behavior is as if broadcasting, “You are not worthy to be listened to. You are not worthy of my answer. Your feelings and thoughts are not important”.

The presence of such a method of education suggests that between parents and the child there is no emotional connection, that is, there is no warmth of communication, intimacy. It is very important for the normal development of the child to be able to come to mom or dad with any problem, with any trouble, with any pain. To come and know that you will be listened to, understood and not told in response: “It’s your own fault.

A child is not a soulless toy, he has feelings and emotions just the same. When he is not allowed to express them – they are suppressed. In the future, such a child simply will not know what to do with emotions and feelings. He will be afraid to show them, that is, he will suppress them. He will be afraid to face other people’s emotions and walk away from conflicts for fear of not dealing with his own.

My parents’ parents went through the Great Patriotic War, is it possible to judge them for not giving warmth and affection to their children – my parents? When you realize that their childhood was also not unclouded, that they also suffered from their parents, and those from their parents, you realize: it’s a vicious circle.

One person can only give to another person what he or she has. When there is love, warmth and tenderness inside, that’s what we give. And when there is resentment inside, the feeling of “unloved”, “not given”? Do you understand?

Training “System-vector psychology” Yuri Burlan opens your eyes and gives the opportunity to become a link in the chain, which will break this vicious circle. It helps you stop blaming your parents, because, realizing how the psyche works, you begin to understand that they had no intention to deliberately cause pain to their child. They were brought up as they could, because no one taught them that either. Getting rid of the hurt is an incredible relief.

Why ignoring is painful

All of our joys and sorrows are just from interacting with other people. Every person needs to feel needed. It’s important to feel loved, understood, appreciated. They do not try to remake you by manipulating your feelings. Accept the way you are. Forgive weaknesses. Do not demand to be perfect. Then both the big man and the little man feel happy.

Any conflict involves honest conversation, and that’s scary. Honest conversations are scary because of their unpredictability and the need to say unpleasant things. We are afraid of the partner’s reaction, because we do not know how the person will react: with tears, anger, anger or indifference. It’s scary to confront other people’s feelings, because then we have to show our own. Ignoring becomes a way to avoid it.

Melt the ice in your soul.

Unfortunately, the lessons of childhood do not always pass without a trace: growing up, a woman unconsciously transfers this pattern of behavior in his adult life. In relations with her partner, parents, children, because she can not do otherwise, she forgets how she herself in childhood was hurt.

Ignoring a woman punishes her man when he does something that she doesn’t want him to do, just like her parents did when she was a child. That’s how the psyche works.

There are no winners in the war of indifference – indifference kills anyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman or what side of the barricade you’re on, it always hurts.

When a woman ignores a man, he feels the wall that the woman he loves is fending off from him. Ignoring without words tells a man: you don’t matter. This is exactly what he feels when he is ignored by a woman.

Become aware of your childhood traumas – it means to get rid of their influence on your life. And the next thing is to open up, trust your man and create such a deep emotional connection with him that no manipulation will be necessary.

When I look back on my previous relationships, I realize how childish and immature my behavior was. I was able to realize this life scenario in the training of Yuri Burlan “System Vector Psychology” . Listen to yourself. If there is something in your life that you would like to change, take this knowledge.

“And what happiness it is to make someone you love happy. I seem only now to truly understand the meaning of these words. To melt with tenderness or passion when I am near him, and to know that he feels the same, to see in his eyes the reflection of my own happiness, to feel my soul tremble with joy when I meet him. My God, I had never even dreamed of this kind of love! And now we both know how to keep it and save it for years to come. “

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