Love Languages: 10 non-obvious ways men express their feelings (and you don’t notice)
She meets him and he meets her. Things go well at first, but after a couple of months she starts to miss the romance: “Why is he so stale and boring… Maybe we should break up with him.” Her friends nod understandingly. And none of them say, “Wait, you just don’t understand the male love language.” And you should!
Men and women do express feelings differently. Girls are more emotional and like to discuss everything in the world, it is not without reason they say that they love with their ears. And they also constantly need a confirmation in the form of the phrase “I love you!” And, of course, more, more romance! Flowers, chocolates, compliments, social events, where you can shine on a couple with your favorite – this is a common female concept of the ideal relationship.
Men love differently. Their love language is much simpler and often does not include sentimental tenderness. But it includes actions and deeds. A lot of actions and deeds. That’s what you should look at more closely, so as not to make hasty conclusions. Here are 10 ways to express feelings of the opposite sex, which guarantee that a man is in love to his heart.
1. Touches of Caring
Kisses and somersaults in the bedroom are not always a guarantee of love in the case of a man. But touches of caring will tell you a lot more about a man’s feelings. Just pay attention not to gestures with sexual overtones (he put his arm around his waist, touched his hips, pressed his chest, ran his finger on the neck), and the overall behavior. If your man gives your coat, adjusts his cap or playful curl, opens the door of the car or driveway, he clearly means it. This is how a man takes care of a girl he likes.
Girls do not notice such displays of affection because they take them for politeness. But, let’s be honest, how often do you see this from strangers? In addition, when a man considers a woman just a friend, he will not take care of her, because he knows: a friend, no matter what gender, himself can cope with water on the pavement, a doorknob or a heavy bag.
2. good memory
As a rule, men very rarely pluck fragments from women’s monologues. Provided that the girl is not very attracted to him. But if a man has deep enough feelings, he will remember anything – from your birthday to the year of graduation. He will not be referred to the lapses in memory and fix it in his available way, what flowers you like, what do you like for lunch, and even the name of all your cats. After all, it is this valuable information will help him later intelligently choose a gift and help ( read also: “15 facts that will help you better understand a man and his desires”).
3. Gifts without an occasion
It’s not about flowers for March 8 or birthdays, but nice little things and big gifts for no reason. It can be anything. Preparing a spontaneous trip, cute presents, a cup of soup or a bag of oranges if you get sick, a bottle of perfume you put off for lack of funds. It all just screams: “He’s in love!” A man who puts his heart and resources into a relationship is clearly not doing it out of gratitude. He wants to charm, to please, to please, to see a smile on his beloved’s face.
4. Pity and Advice.
A man in love knows how to listen to a woman. If you understand that you can at any time share a problem with your partner and get support, then everything is serious for him. As a rule, the stronger sex is quite indifferent to women’s questions and words, but not because guys are cruel. They just do not quite understand how you can cry over a broken heel or strange looks of colleagues and whispers behind their back. In a man’s world, everything is solved simply and abruptly. Knots are instantly severed, problems are cut off. No intrigue, scandals or investigations.
But none of this concerns the beloved. Her problems are his problems. A man whose feelings for his chosen one are deep and strong will always be able to comfort. He will find the words that will calm you down. And if necessary, even advise what to do in a difficult situation. Or he will take the matter into their own hands.
How men love: 6 rules of their game
Women think more than men about love, marriage and family – a fact. It is from the fair sex most often hear phrases like “I want to get married, children”. How often do men say such things? They have their own rules of the game, and it is better to understand them, so as not to suffer questions, doubts, do not make a scandal out of nothing. Let’s find out how men love and why sometimes sincere feelings on the outside may look like indifference or low level of interest.
How men love: a few rules of the stronger sex
Where do the differences in the manifestation of feelings come from in the first place? It’s simple: men have a more pronounced desire for dominance than women. Their world – it is a constant hunt, the pursuit, the struggle. This explains the peculiarities of male psychology in love. The strong sex is difficult to admit defeat, whether it’s the realization of a mistake, a miscalculation in business or passionate love for a woman. Yes, a powerful attachment is also considered a defeat in a sense.
There are a number of rules that men follow
1 “I’m a nice guy.”
Disappointing your woman is always scary. Hence the many misunderstandings: men refuse to acknowledge their responsibility for failures. Everyone from the boss to the weather is to blame for them, but not themselves. Of course, men are not stupid and understand their failures, but they can not say them out loud. And women perceive this as infantile, irresponsible, complaining that the “real” men are no more.
- Do not bring up old mistakes.
- Get rid of the vocabulary of “I told you so.
- Do not insist on his right, even if it is obvious.
- Always remember how much you value the relationship and don’t push.
Men can do wonders to get the woman they like, but in most cases after that they become passive, in no hurry to build a serious relationship, to get married. Why? Because marriage is seen as an encroachment on freedom. Here the woman acts as a hunter, and the man does not want to be the prey.
Psychologist’s advice to women. Do not hide your desires, but do not impose them on your partner. If you really intend to get married, it is worth careful to discuss the issue in a year and a half after the start of the relationship, but be prepared for any development.
Dusting your eyes is from the wilderness. Think back to the excitement of mating dances of birds, the fierce battles of ungulates. The task of the male is to present himself to the female in the best possible way. That’s why you may hear constant boasting, but not see the real results of the male’s activity. He is not lying or even exaggerating, he is just subconsciously winning you over once again. Consider this as a flattering factor.
Psychologist’s advice to women . An admiring look will strengthen your relationship, and a derogatory criticism will destroy it. The choice is yours.
It’s the woman who eases her soul during communication, resolves her doubts, and the man who conveys information. If it offends you that your partner does not seem to hear your requests and does not share his experiences, then remember that you use language differently in general.
Psychologist’s advice to women . Imagine how awful it would be if a man acted like your chatty girlfriend. If you feel that the pair do not understand each other, then learn to formulate in the language of men: keep it short, to the point, clearly set the task.
When a man closes in on himself, becomes gloomy and unsociable, the woman begins to go crazy – arranges interrogations with a passion, watching and sometimes even checks the phone. She suspects treason, but more often than not she is wrong. If a man has a problem, he focuses on solving it. There is no energy or time left for the woman, but this does not mean that love is gone.
Psychologist’s advice to women . Remember, men are effective, but one-tasking. If you try to demand proof of love when your partner is thinking about his problems, you will just create another problem for him. Be considerate, affectionate, and don’t tug him unnecessarily.
Buddies often cause not only conflict, but even cheating on your husband or divorce. If a woman vehemently protests against the circle of communication partner – this is a real problem, because it is perceived as an infringement of freedom. A man’s friends are sacred. It is in the company he gets the necessary psychological discharge, realizes some of his ambitions.
- His friends are wonderful.
- You want to get to know them.
- You like the place where the company hangs out.
- You’re fine without a partner as long as he’s in the company.
The psychology of men and women are different worlds. If you don’t understand your partner’s displays of affection, it doesn’t mean there are no feelings at all. Mutual understanding is possible. But if it came to serious conflicts, it is worth making an appointment for a consultation with a psychologist or Hellinger formations.