Signs that the husband has definitely fallen out of love with his wife
I have been in journalism for over seven years. Half of them as an editor. My weakness – to conduct mini-surveys on new subjects.
The expert – Victoria Fomina
A physician of the highest category as a sexologist, psychiatrist and psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples resolve problems in sexuality.
In any family there are crises. Cooling of the senses – not uncommon in family life. Especially when everyday life, routine, financial problems begin to crowd out all the good stuff.
But if there is love and respect between the two partners, any crisis can be overcome. But you can not make a man to love. And if these feelings are gone, it is impossible to control it.
Signs that the husband no longer loves.
When you notice that your spouse is alienating, you begin to desperately “save” this relationship. Sometimes it even works: it means that love is still flickering. But if all attempts are unsuccessful, then the saddest thing has happened.
The following signs indicate that the love is gone.
- It has become hard for you to communicate with him.
Your once loving and affectionate man has become rude to you. It has become normal for him to criticize you, to make disrespectful comments in front of other people.
He may even allow himself to compare you to other women or his exes in a negative way.
Suddenly, your peculiarities or strange habits that he thought were cute became very annoying to him. Everything you would do now elicits only one reaction. And you’re already afraid to even sigh next to him, expecting a new batch of condemnation.
- Lack of intimacy and tactile contact.
Lack of intimacy with you – one of the clearest markers that her husband cooled his feelings. He does not initiate sex, shows complete indifference to your flirtations or constantly refers to fatigue.
He may, of course, be tired at work. But if he happily agrees to go out with friends, he just doesn’t want you anymore. You’ll notice the stress right away. He may have been “tired” elsewhere for a long time.
Some men are stingy in showing their feelings. But if he used to quietly kiss you or hug you, and now he abruptly stopped doing it, it means he doesn’t want to anymore.
- He has become indifferent.
If your husband used to control your every move or want to be aware of your plans, the change in behavior to a complete lack of interest is a red flag. He is defiantly indifferent to how you are dressed, why you stayed late, and where you were.
The reasons for indifference may also lie in personal inner feelings. Men withdraw into themselves when they have something going on. But, again, if interest has disappeared just for you, that’s definitely a reason to think.
- Gone is the sense of humor.
Men are more fun than women. And their sense of humor is better developed. If laughter disappeared from your marriage, and your husband reacted acutely to your usual jokes, then the situation is serious. If the reason is not a bad mood or some distracting situation, it means that your husband has grown cold.
Jokes are something that is considered personal. And you only want to share personal things with people you care about. And if you see him making jokes with friends and family, and he gives you a sour face in return, that’s not good.
This manifests itself in a lack of contact between you. You are no longer husband and wife, but just roommates who are forced to live together. Your husband says nothing about work or how his day is going. Your questions are answered in a straightforward manner.
He’s also not at all interested in how you spent your time. Perhaps he did not even notice your absence. If you used to share the latest news and discuss it over dinner, now you don’t even have common topics to talk about.
- He has become selfish.
If you married an initially selfish man, don’t complain. But if he has changed by becoming that way, then there is a reason. Your husband stops listening to you, ignores your requests, doesn’t help you when you ask him to.
He only cares about his own interests, and does only what he needs to do for himself, without taking you into consideration at all. There must be compromise in any relationship. Both partners should be happy and not feel left out.
- He is no longer trying to make you happy.
Happy and loving partners always try to show their feelings even in little things. If you have been working on your relationship for a long time and now he has stopped trying to put a smile on your face, it means that his love is gone.
There’s nothing you can do to change it, or somehow get him to make an effort to keep the marriage alive. A man is happy when his woman is happy. And if your husband no longer wants to be involved, then you are no longer his woman.
Sometimes it seems that your husband is not in the mood right now: he snaps at you or allows himself harsh remarks. But after a couple of minutes he was smiling cheerfully on the phone or happily answering a call from a friend. That is, it’s not in his mood in general. But only in his attitude toward you.
Mutual respect is one part of a healthy relationship. And if he treats others well, but doesn’t do the same for you, that’s a very bad signal. He sees no problem in hurting you. He may even be doing it intentionally.
If you support him in everything, encourage him, and he doesn’t return the favor, he’s just taking advantage of you and your kindness. That said, he has no trouble cheering up a colleague (especially a woman).
- He always chooses scandal.
Quarrels and misunderstandings are the norm in any relationship. But when an elephant starts to grow out of any fly, it is already an alarming signal. If the two of you are no longer able to sit down and talk in a civilized way and are only willing to yell and fight, that’s a problem.
You become afraid to express your point of view and voice your grievances, because it will inevitably lead to an argument. In general, and trying to soften the situation causes the same effect. Your husband is either just causing you to react, or he really doesn’t intend to solve the problems that have arisen.
Both indicate that there is no respect or love on his part.
You have practically disappeared from his life. You used to spend every spare minute together. If you worked hard, you missed each other and treasured every weekend you had together. And now everything’s drastically changed.
He started making excuses that he had to stay late at work. Go to work on the weekends, too. And work at home after work. He suddenly starts making plans of his own that have nothing to do with yours.
He apologizes profusely, of course, for what happened, but it all seems so farfetched. When your husband finally decides to spend time with you to “clear his conscience,” he does it as if it were a favor. And this clearly shows that something strange is going on.
Such signs in the aggregate almost unmistakably build a complete picture of what is happening. Noticing these signals, you need to talk to your husband directly and firmly about what is going on.
And then the decision is up to you. If it turns out that your husband really does not love you anymore, then think about it: do you want to be in such a relationship? Or is it worth letting go of each other and allow to be happy. You can
How to know a man doesn’t love his wife: 15 signs
Have you ever wondered: does your husband really love you and is he as happy in your relationship as he tells you he is?
If YES, here are 15 signs of an unhappy married man
1. he often jokes about leaving his wife
No matter what you say, there’s often only part of the joke. You may have noticed unhappy employees at your job making jokes about wanting to burn down their workplace or not getting paid enough.
The same goes for people who are unhappy with their marriages.
2. Trying to brag, he brags about his money and career, but not his wife
Men will flaunt and brag about what they think really makes their lives great.
If he almost never mentions his wife, perhaps it’s because he’s trying to forget she exists on some level. (Or because he no longer considers her important.)
3. he actively avoids contact with his children or is excessively angry with them
People who regret having children are pretty easy to read when they are around their offspring. They often find ways to dump their children on their in-laws or otherwise seek sympathy from others about how difficult it is for him with children. And if he is dissatisfied with the children, he most likely is dissatisfied with their mother as well.
He makes excuses for not being home with his spouse.
Just like women, a man who is truly unhappy at home will spend more time at work or find new reasons not to come home. In these situations, this is often an act of self-preservation that protects them from emotional abuse or other negative vibes.
5. He tells single guys never to get married
Here’s what the man who advises single guys not to get married thinks: he admits he made a mistake when he got married. If he didn’t feel it was a mistake, why would he tell others that getting married was a mistake?
6. He looks like an old beat-up car.
One little subtlety that never escapes my attention is how many men look permanently tired after a couple of years of marriage. They look depressed and battered. While this may be a sign of general depression, I often find that it is a very common sign among unhappily married men as well.
7. He no longer has the courage, warmth, and cheerfulness that he used to have
If you’ve known this man for a long time, you may remember “his glory days.” And if he has lost the very spark of life that drew his beloved woman to him, it looks like there may be trouble in “family heaven.”
Unfortunately, a woman is driven by this intuitive natural algorithm: she wants to find a masculine, strong and intelligent male who will subordinate her, but as a result in family life she will constantly try to shift the balance of importance in her direction, suppress the man and take the reins of power into her own hands. As a result she will prevail, but once she turns the man into the creature I described above, she will chew him up and spit him out in the trash.
8. He yells at his wife in public.
Okay, if you see this, there are serious problems in the relationship that should probably end in divorce.
It’s probably being abused, or there’s cheating going on, or both. Either way, it’s just not a good look.
9. He complains about his wife all the time.
If he’s complaining about his wife to another woman, it’s quite possible he’s looking for sympathy and it could be a sign that he’s trying to have an affair or an affair with her. Well, or maybe that he is depressed and needs someone to talk to about it.
10. He’s considering a divorce, asks about a divorce, or says he’s thinking about divorce.
If a man says this to a woman, he’s probably looking for an affair and wants to poke her, so if that woman is you be careful.
On the other hand, if a man says this to his male friend, he’s almost 100 percent unhappy.
11. his wife wants to have an affair on the side or get a divorce
This is usually a sign that pops up when the women are alone together.
If his spouse is talking about serious problems in their marital relationship that go beyond blabbering about “a lazy husband who doesn’t make enough money,” there’s a good chance he’s unhappy in the marriage, doesn’t love his wife, and wants out.
12. he’s struggling with addiction
Honestly, I would put this item first. Many men who aren’t really doing well in their lives will turn to booze, drugs or gambling to feel okay with what’s going on in their lives.
If you notice that he pours himself a lot more often and more than usual, very often the most common reason is that he is fed up with the family relationship.
I know a lot of divorced men who were drinking and sedentary in their marriages, and after they separated from their wives, they quit their bad habits, got into sports and self-development, and lived for their own pleasure. And I know plenty of married men who try to run away from home to a beer house or a garage to get drunk to death with the same poor married men.
14. He gets angry when he sees women treating men well, or when he sees men who are happy in relationships
People don’t get jealous when they see other people have what they have. And they’re even less jealous when others have even less. If that man gets angry just seeing others kissing passionately, or gets recklessly upset just looking at couples having fun, he’s probably suffering behind his closed doors of an outwardly prosperous family life.
15. Next to his wife he is cold, silent, and even downright hateful
This is generally the biggest indicator that something is wrong. If you are his wife, you may have already guessed that something is wrong.