What to do if my wife says she does not love me and does not see me as a man.
Women by nature can be difficult to hide their lack of feelings. The first problems in the family go side by side with changes in the lady’s appearance. A woman stops taking care of herself, rarely does depilation, does not buy new clothes. She no longer wants to interest the other half, which first affects the external condition. Gradually, however, the problem also affects her inner world. Thus, against the background of the absence of love, the following conditions of the girl arise:
- Increased irritability, which increases the proportion of conflicts in the family;
- indifference to her partner’s life and interests;
- reticence and taciturnity;
- disregard for the words and actions of the partner.
Tolerate the shortcomings of a person can only be if there is love. However, when feelings pass, even the merits of a spouse can cause anger and aggression. That is why a wife who has no feelings turns into an aggressive fury. It can bring out of itself literally everything, including the positive actions of the man.
There is also the opposite form of this condition: reticence, mixed with silence. The woman refuses to come into contact, she does not listen to conversation with men, she does not try to engage in dialogue. Sometimes it seems as if the lady simply tolerates the man, not seeing any of his merits.
From love to hate or how to determine that the wife’s feelings have long died out
Psychologists believe that the signs that the wife does not love the man are manifested as soon as the feeling fades. However, some representatives of the stronger sex manage not to notice this. What are the signs eloquent of the fading of flaming love once?
- A woman refuses to perform marital duties without explanation;
- She spends more time with friends outside the home than with her husband;
- The woman makes important decisions without consulting her lover;
- Periodic and frequent cheating can also be an indicator of fading feelings.
At this stage it is already difficult to save the relationship, because the girl has long since come to terms with the fact that she has no love for her husband, and so she has begun to change her daily life. Such a woman makes all the decisions alone, neglects her husband in every way, spends time with anyone but him. At the same time in the words of it can be the most faithful and loving wife. The risk of infidelity at this stage increases markedly, because the woman is indifferent to the spouse, and it keeps it in this relationship only marital bonds. The performance of basic household duties is reduced to a minimum, and the number of quarrels grows exponentially.
Lag | September 14, 2020
Honestly, after 8 years of married life, I have developed problems with my wife. I treat her very warmly, try to give her signs of attention at the first opportunity, and want to get the same from my wife. But unfortunately, my wife did not understand this, she lost interest in me. And that finally drove me out of my mind.
She stopped paying attention to me, became interested only in her own person. She stopped buying more or less attractive things. There was no normal dinner, after which there would be a wild desire to thank her, too. It was as if I was not there at all. A complete absence in her soul. Either bored or bored. She was always at home, so no lovers and stuff.
Friends advised and persuaded me to shake my wife in the most proven folk way. They said that the presence of another woman should at least somehow bring my wife out of her state of perpetual rest. I really didn’t want that. I love my wife, my child, and I want family warmth and comfort. But it was evidently impossible to do without a show. She was just too lazy to look after herself and to show any tenderness to me.
At first I wanted to find someone to play the role of a mistress, but then I realized that I do not need anyone except my wife. There was only one option – to play up the presence of another woman in my life. I listened to the advice of the old-timers. And began to prepare a practical joke. To be honest, I already had some experience in such situations, so I was 90% sure that my wife would not leave me. So I wouldn’t advise other men to do that.
I started with the most innocuous: delays at work. Once, twice, three times, my wife didn’t notice. I decided to add lipstick on my shirt cuff as if by accident. My wife looked at me unhappily. I silently threw the shirt in the wash and went into the kitchen to cook dinner.
The next day I added that I did not eat dinner at home. He said he had found a tasty place to eat. In fact, after work I ran into the nearest Soviet canteen and ate a lot of borscht and dumplings there. Strange as it may seem, they have normal food for not much money. The last time I ate like that was when I was a student. My wife pretended not to notice my behavior.
Closer to the night, I noticed that she had spritzed a little bit of essential oils on the bed. I had given them to her at one time, but she hadn’t found the right use for them, and here she took to it. The smell was nice and inviting, but I had to keep up the brand. So, with difficulty, I pushed myself over the edge so as not to pester my wife, I fell asleep.
The next day, according to my scenario, I came home early from work, got under the shower, changed my clothes and rushed to his friend. Very unexpectedly for me, my wife called me and asked me what time I would be home. I should have said something, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. My friend told me to get home closer to midnight. But it turned out a little differently.
At midnight my wife called me and anxiously asked where I was. When I would arrive. I realized that it was no longer worth testing the patience of his wife. I stopped for flowers and then for a bottle of wine. It turned out strange, but I guessed. I don’t even know how to say it.
I rang the doorbell, and my wife immediately opened the door and rushed out to meet me. She had an exasperated red face and terribly big eyes. She saw my smile and the flowers and just threw herself on my neck and sobbed. I had to soothe her and kiss her. We had a great night that day.
That’s what our women need? Why can’t we just talk from the beginning, find out everything that does not suit them, and live a normal family life. Why do we need this stress, this extreme? Probably, if it were me, someone would have acted differently, but to me personally, it helped.
To leave or to stay: Options for the man
Psychologists believe that if a wife does not love her husband, and the signs of impending divorce are growing more and more, the relationship is not worth fighting for. Cheating, indifference, a binge lifestyle – all this kills relationships and does not allow people to be happy with each other. And if all happiness disappears from the family, the marriage turns into a heavy duty with a lot of problems for both partners.
Read also: Girl fell in love with a guy online and proposed to him, and he said yes. Bottom line: the first meeting on the wedding day
However, there are cases where a woman’s love can still be returned, and here are some of them:
- if the wife only periodically behaves aggressively or indifferent, it can be written off to the peculiarities of her character or to the early stage of the “disease” of love;
- If a woman’s behavior is related to a man’s negative action, the marriage should be fought for, because love may still be alive;
- if the wife’s behavior is only a reaction to the same behavior of the husband, the relationship can also be saved, but the chances of success are minimal.
Of course, if the husband’s feelings are strong, the marriage should be fought to the last. When the relationship is more painful than joyful, it is better to let it go. Perhaps the man and woman just aren’t made for each other, and that’s why their infatuation eventually passed.
So how can the relationship be saved if the wife does not love her husband? Sometimes signs of problems with feelings disappear with intense care, the presence of romance in the life of the couple. In other words, by surrounding the beloved with maximum affection and attention, a man can resurrect her love. You can also try to diversify family life, visit theaters and museums together, travel.
Ignore going to the family psychologist should not be ignored, because qualified assistance can sometimes save even the most hopeless marriages. Act quickly, because as soon as the woman convinced that she does not love the man, she will leave, and nothing can stop it.
Options for further action
What to do if the wife is communicating and corresponds with another man? There are several options for the development of events.
Be patient and tormented by speculation
Unfortunately, many men who strongly love their woman and are afraid of losing her, choose this way out of the situation. But this is not the best option in this case, as it will not lead to anything good. In the end there will be a crisis in the family.
The worst thing is not knowing. If you do not know for sure if your lover is cheating on you, you will start to live in a constant state of stress, torment yourself. Jealousy is a negative emotion, which often leads not only to discord in the relationship, but even to murder. And in fact your suspicions may be completely untrue, but by the time you realize this, the family may already break up.
Accept the situation
The best course of action, if the wife is communicating with another man on the phone or correspondence, is to accept the situation. That is, you should try to adjust yourself to the fact that such communication does not make any bad sense and does not bring danger to your relationship.
Do not take seriously if your spouse is simply communicating with the opposite sex in a friendly manner. If flirting is involved, it is unlikely to work that way.
The difficulty in accepting the situation for a man is that he understands male psychology better than a woman. He is well aware that 90% of the time guys do not communicate with girls just for fun, they do not imply friendly communication at all, while women sacredly believe in friendship between the opposite sexes.
Also, men understand that if a man is actively texting or calling a married woman, it means he has a specific purpose. He can talk about love, friendship, anything, but his goal will only be sexual contact. This is why husbands react negatively if their beloved communicates with others. They sense a danger to the relationship.
Change the situation
What should you do if your wife has been communicating with others? Try to change the situation. This will be the most rational solution if you want to save the family and understand that in such behavior of the beloved there is also your fault.
You need to do the following:
- Talk frankly with your spouse. During the conversation explain that you are concerned about her actions, find out the reason for them. If a woman loves you, she will tell you exactly what she lacks in the relationship, what she wants to change in them.
- Try to change yourself. If the wife will directly point out the shortcomings that she does not like in you, try to adjust their habits, character. It is difficult to do this, but for the sake of a happy future, you can make some concessions.
- Spend more time with your beloved. Give her gifts, take her to interesting places, go on vacation together. Do everything to prove to your beloved your sincere feelings, respect for her.
- Do not disregard the opinion of your wife. Consult with her on all matters relating to life together. Show that her opinion is important to you.
- Variety in your sex life. Take into account all of your beloved’s wishes regarding sex, try to fill in the gaps.
- Don’t forget the dates that are significant to your relationship. This will show that you are serious about your significant other.
- Always take an interest in your spouse’s life when you are not together.
- Be able to listen to your wife and give more nice compliments.
If you change the situation, and spouse again feel loved and desired, your relationship will improve, and active communication with the opposite sex will stop.
Remember that women love attention. And most of all they expect it from their lovers. If it will be enough for the girl, the need for communication with other men will not arise.
Walk away from your wife
What to do if the wife corresponded with another man? Of course, leave! Such an answer can often be heard from husbands who do not yet know whether their suspicions are true, but they are already starting to flare up.
In fact, this solution is suitable only if the relationship the couple really came to naught.
When you do not know for sure if your wife is cheating on you, if she had feelings for another person, do not run to pack your bags. After all, your suspicions could be false, and the family will be destroyed. Whether it will be possible to restore good relations or not is unknown.
If, however, talk to his wife, together you came to the conclusion that there is no point in continuing to meet, then it is really better to stop everything before it gets worse. You can also consider the option of temporarily living apart. This will help sort out your feelings and understand whether you should be together further?
Does she love you: Finding out how your wife feels about you
Women are more likely to be openly concerned about their spouse’s feelings, but we men are not immune to this tendency. Sometimes in conversations we raise the question of how to determine whether your wife loves you, but we do not ask this question directly. Let us try to figure out what are the signs that indicate affectionate feelings of his wife or vice versa – the total indifference to you.
How do you know whether your wife loves you by your actions?
Determine whether there is sympathy on the part of a woman, can even a man who is not familiar with psychology. But if you want to know more about women and the motives of their actions, then I recommend you to open the material “Women’s psychology: what, how and why” in addition to this article.
- How do you quickly figure out if your wife loves you or not? Pay attention to how she spends her free time. Does she like to go out with you? Or does she shy away from joint activities in favor of girlfriends, shopping, or her in-laws.
- Next is caring. A loving woman surrounds her husband with affection and attention. She cooks her own masterpieces, ironing shirts, takes the initiative in sex. She tries to make her husband pleasant, without demanding anything in return.
How to determine the woman’s love words?
Unlike men who are often silent, beautiful ladies like to talk. I recommend paying attention to this. How do you know if your wife loves you or not from her words?
- She speaks enthusiastically of you to friends and relatives.
- It is supportive even when you make a mistake.
- She gives wise advice, doesn’t insist on her opinion as the only right one.
- She wholeheartedly compliments your sense of humor, you as a person.
Well, did you get to understand that the woman really loves? In any case, work on the relationship and keep going. If you do not support them now, you may soon find that the feelings of a spouse faded. I advise you to read more articles in “Perfect Relationships for Love”. I talk about how to avoid discord in the family. Or enroll in “summer camp,” which you can come together with his wife and refresh your feelings.
If the love is gone…
I will break down the variant when the relationship “hangs by a thread. How do you know your wife does not love? First of all, she humiliates your dignity as a man. Does not pay attention to the progress, does not show care, does not say the words of love, starts a relationship on the side. The latter is something women often hide until a certain point. In the article “8 signs of feminine infidelity” I tell you how to determine that your spouse is cheating on you.
But what about a woman? To understand that your man does not love you, you can tell from several points:
- He does not actively participate in your life;
- Does not give gifts and does not say compliments;
- Not proud of you and your achievements;
- he prefers your company friends or colleagues.
Increase your attractiveness in the eyes of his girlfriend can be different ways. For example, by visiting business coaching “Strategy of Success” . As well as in my other trainings and webinars.
What is your relationship with your wife? Do you love her? And she loves you?
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