How can you tell if you’re in love?

How to know if you’re in love with someone

Contributor(s): Maria Avgitidis. Maria Avgitidis is the executive director and matchmaker at Agape Match, a dating service in New York City. As a fourth-generation matchmaker, she has successfully combined her family’s tradition with modern relationship psychology and matchmaking technology to help clients meet their other half for over 10 years. Maria and Agape Match have been written about in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice and Thrillist.

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Falling in love can be an exhilarating yet intimidating experience. Sometimes it can be hard to know if you are in love with someone or not. Keep reading to determine whether or not you are in love with someone.

Find out what falling in love is. According to Urban Dictionary, a crush is “a burning desire to be with someone you find very attractive or special.” [1] X Source of Information Falling in love drives people to experience incredible emotions-for example, you may feel both terribly shy and impossibly giddy. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, but you can decide how to behave when you find out you’ve fallen in love.

  • Friendly crush : It is important to remember that not all strong feelings are romantic. Allowing yourself to completely trust someone and become very close to someone without having any romantic feelings for that person is truly special. If you want to be with that person all the time, it means that you are no longer just friends, but best friends. Being in love with a friend is perfectly normal; you should want to spend as much time as possible with your best friend.
  • Admired crush : When you idealize a person (a celebrity, a teacher, or a classmate who has done something very cool), you may realize that you have very strong feelings about that person or their merits. Feeling in awe in the presence of someone who has done something amazing or can teach you wonderful things is absolutely normal. Usually, after spending a lot of time with that person and learning a lot from them, you can feel on par with them. You may find that your crush goes away when the initial excitement of this person’s presence in your life wanes.
  • A fleeting crush : Among humans, attraction to other people is a natural instinct. Even if you are in a great relationship with someone, you may feel attracted to someone other than your romantic partner. This attraction is what’s called a passing crush-this new person seems new and interesting to you (they probably are), but that doesn’t mean you should completely reconsider your current relationship or, if you’re not in a relationship, should drop everything to be with them. Transient crushes usually begin because of a person’s outward attractiveness.
  • Romantic crush : Sometimes if you have a romantic crush on someone, it means that you really like that person (in a romantic sense). If you are romantically in love with someone, it means that you want to be with that person more than friends – you want to be your date’s girlfriend or boyfriend. If you’re thinking about kissing, cuddling, and taking romantic walks by the hand with this person, then you’re probably experiencing a romantic crush.

Determine how serious your crush is. By figuring this out, you can decide how best to behave – whether you should reveal your feelings or not. The following sections of this article will help you understand how serious your crush is.

What is infatuation and how to turn it into true love: we understand together

Butterflies in the stomach are far from the only sign of falling in love.

In last article we discussed in detail a beautiful and mysterious feeling – love. What signs it has, what stages it goes through, how to distinguish it from other feelings. Today I will tell you what falling in love is, so that you will never confuse them again. And at the end I will share the secrets of how to turn your crush into true love.

What is infatuation

Falling in love is a cocktail of strong emotions and feelings directed at a specific person. The spectrum of these emotions can be quite wide: from euphoria, tenderness and peace to severe excitement and panic.

The state of being in love is often compared to drug intoxication. Hormonal processes occurring in the body during falling in love and under the influence of psychotropic substances are similar. In both cases, a horse dose of happy hormones such as serotonin, dopamine and endorphins are released into the blood.

Subjectively falling in love is felt as a strong attraction to the person, the desire to merge with him. He becomes the main source of pleasure. Idealization of his features takes place – even obvious shortcomings begin to seem nice.

Falling in love and love are not identical. Falling in love is just one of the stages in the development of true love. It takes a long time for it to “mature” into a serious feeling. Most relationships break up much earlier – when the hormones end and the rose-colored glasses fall from his eyes.

Signs of falling in love

To be clear how to recognize falling in love, let’s look at its characteristic signs.

  1. A strong excitement and trembling. Those very butterflies in the stomach that everyone talks about are a mixture of anxiety and anticipation of pleasure. A large amount of the hormone adrenaline is released into the blood, which causes the typical manifestations of falling in love: palpitations, trembling in the knees, coldness in the hands and feet.
  2. Constant thoughts about the object of sympathy. It is very difficult for a person to concentrate on current affairs. Thoughts involuntarily return to a loved one. One wants to recall pleasant moments spent together and make plans for a joint future.
  3. The desire to be near. Separation from a loved one is very painful. Life seems senseless and empty. You want to reunite as quickly as possible and never part again.
  4. Increased libido. People in love constantly experience sexual attraction to each other. They are ready to have sex several times a day.
  5. Sleep disturbance. Being in love is often accompanied by insomnia. Affects the general excitement and a riot of hormones.
  6. Loss of appetite. This sign is not present in all lovers. Most often, girls have problems with appetite because they are by nature more impressionable and emotional.
  7. Jealousy. The object of sympathy does not want to share with anyone. Any hint of a rival or a rival causes a panic. Even if there is no objective reason for jealousy, intrusive pictures of betrayal creep into the head.
  8. High spirits. The hormone dopamine is responsible for the increased emotional background. In love people like soaring on the wings of love. Everything around seems beautiful and inspiring to him.
  9. Increased emotionality. In a state of love, a person becomes very sensitive. For example, he can easily cry during a touching scene in the movie, though normally it is not typical for him.

The stages of falling in love

Falling in love, like love, passes through several stages. The difference is that they are much shorter in duration. Sometimes falling in love can develop rapidly – in a day or two.

  1. Attention. A person notices the other and directs his attention to him. In order for this to happen, the object should have some attractive characteristics for the person.
  2. Interest. Then he gets a better look at the person, observes him for a while and reflects his interest. There is a desire to communicate, get to know him better and reveal himself.
  3. Sympathy. In the next stage the friendly interest develops into a romantic one. The person mentally begins to “try on” the role of his beloved. There is a desire to communicate with him more and more often.
  4. Passion. As sympathy grows, so does sexual attraction to the person. You want to merge with him, to achieve emotional and physical closeness.
  5. Infatuation. After going through all the previous stages, feelings become shaped and well understood. If there is a reciprocal process on the other side, a loving relationship begins between people. If not, then falling in love becomes a source of suffering for the person. He has to willfully frustrate his feelings.

Advice for people in love: How to turn falling in love into true love

Falling in love is just one of the stages in the development of true love. To grow into a serious feeling, it must go through four more stages: adaptation, domination, patience and intimacy. Unfortunately, most relationships end at the addictive stage. Once the intoxicating effects of hormones wear off and sexual desire is dulled, the harsh reality sets in.

It turns out that there was nothing at all that people had in common except animal passion. And now that it has ended, we have to admit that the relationship has no future. To avoid this happening, you need to know a few important rules. The following tips will help you make feelings in a couple stronger and take them to the next level.

Get to know each other

Lovers can spend hours looking at each other in silence and cuddling. Intimacy with your loved one already brings happiness. But if you want the love to grow into something more, you should actively communicate with your partner.

Interested in his life, talk about their own, to share with each other their thoughts and experiences. If you have no interest in him as a person, it’s a bad sign. It means you fell in love not with a real person, but with his image in your head.

Look for things to do together

Try to integrate into each other’s lives as deeply as possible. Look for common ground. Try to get into your partner’s hobbies, and interest him/her in your own. You can also do something new together.

When passion subsides, there will be common hobbies that bind you. No matter what it will be – sports, art, reading literature, games … The main thing that you both feel comfortable and interesting to do it together.

Restrain your libido.

At the beginning of a relationship, lovers may not get out of bed. They are ready to have sex all day long, forgetting about everything in the world. In this situation, very quickly becomes satiety. Attraction does not have time to mature, and intercourse with each time is less and less fun.

So do not squeeze all the juice out of his libido. Deliberately restrain it, allowing your desire to become strong and deep. This way you will be able to keep the passion in the relationship much longer.

Try to be helpful.

The more investment will be on your part, the stronger will grow your partner’s attachment to you. Investments do not have to be material. Any help from you will be pleasant to the man. He will understand that in a relationship you are willing to take, but also to give.

Do not wait for your partner to ask for help. Be attentive to his problems and needs. Also, do not forget to please him for no reason. Do it sincerely and gratuitously.

Do not relax

At the beginning of a relationship people try to make a good impression on each other. Girls strenuously painted before each date, wearing their best outfits. Men order facial hair and begin to pay more attention to hygiene. But over time they can relax and stop looking after themselves so scrupulously.

If the difference between the ideal and real image is too great, the partner may experience disappointment. So try to always take care of their appearance. This does not mean that you need to spend three hours a day on the carpet. But it is absolutely impossible to relax either: to wear dirty clothes, leaky socks, walk with dirty hair.

If you have problems with neatness, the first time at least pretend to be a neat and clean person, so as not to scare away his partner. And they strenuously work on themselves! Otherwise, the happy relationship can not count on. Unless with the same sloven, just like you.

Create a common circle of communication

If you’re set up for a serious relationship, introduce your partner to your friends and relatives. If he also wants to introduce you to his inner circle, try to make a good impression.

Spend time in the company of people, not just alone. This will help you rally and make a variety of their usual leisure.

Do not get hung up on relationships.

Many people, when entering into a relationship, make the same typical mistake. They direct all the attention to the object of love, and their usual life is abandoned. Compared to the bright emotions that their partner gives them, everything else seems dull and gray. They have to strain very hard to return the focus of attention to their current affairs.

If you feel that the partner overshadowed your whole life, urgently pull yourself together and distract yourself. Otherwise, very soon he will start to turn away from you. What good and interesting things can you bring into a person’s life if your only interest is him?

Do not by any means give up your interests and hobbies. Do not try to spend all your free time together, even if your partner does not mind. It will be good for both of you to miss each other sometimes.

The main enemies of being in love are boredom and satiety. Try not to overfeed the person and do not try to “swallow” him whole.

Demonstrate the seriousness of your intentions.

If you are sure that you would like to tie your life with this man, let him know it. This is especially true of men. Traditionally, they take the lead in approaching a woman. A guy usually offers a girl to start a life together and then start a family.

So, men, actively demonstrate to the lady the seriousness of your intentions. Unless, of course, you are sure that she is the one. While you procrastinate, the girl of your dreams can steal away from you by a more determined and reliable cavalier. Offer to live together, get actively involved in her life.

Girls, this rule applies to you too. Only you have to act more subtly. More often tell the man how you feel good with him and how much he means to you. Take care of him, surround him with warmth and comfort.

Of course, for the relationship to develop and the feelings strengthened, both partners should work on them. But for the other person you can not act, so focus on your own steps. Follow all of the above tips, be sincere and open.

Even if the relationship does not add up, you will be sure that you did everything possible to develop them. And with a restful soul will be able to move on. Most likely, your next love story will be more successful.

Conclusion .

We have considered with you what falling in love is, we have broken down its main signs and stages of development. Also I have shared with you valuable tips on how to turn falling in love into true love.

It is undoubtedly a beautiful feeling that embellishes life. But constantly chasing it, changing partners, is not worth it. Everyone has the task of transforming their crush into something more – true spiritual intimacy. Are there those among you who have succeeded? Be sure to share in the comments! Read also our article on how to cope with loneliness.

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