How do you know if your man really loves you?
You need to write in a way that you can’t help but be read. I think I have the magic of words.
The expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I save the “family unit” from collapse. I help couples regain love and understanding.
There is no instruction manual on “How to behave as a loving man. You can’t buy a pamphlet, read it, and immediately become a master at deciphering the feelings of a man in love. Despite the herd principle, every man shows himself differently in such moments. Although some generalizing features can still be noted. About them we will talk.
This question should be approached, perhaps, from the psychological point of view. Love itself is a very complicated thing. Many people do not even know how to explain this feeling, and what it is expressed in. Sometimes it happens that people do not even suspect that they are already in love. There is no way to understand and recognize how a man in love behaves.
But, on the whole, the behavior of a man is influenced by many factors. If we talk about the behavior of a man in love, then there and then the devil himself can’t understand. After all, it depends, first of all, on:
- the upbringing and character of the man;
- the environment;
- IQ level;
- social status and much more.
For example, if a man is an introvert, then he certainly can not expect a fiery odes in his honor, a million scarlet roses under the door or serenades under the window at 3 am. Or take a phlegmatic, this will not smash everything during a passion or a showdown on jealousy.
You can also compare a guy in love or a married neighbor. The first in love appears as a romantic who can shout his love to the whole world. The second, on the contrary, will either suffer in silence or hint modestly at his feelings for fear of publicity.
But again, there are still some general signs of a man in love, by which a psychologist or just an attentive person can understand about the true feelings that overwhelm the personality.
The ABCs of love
So, if we talk about the signs of the behavior of a man in love, then it should be immediately understood about what kind of man we are talking. Speaking about the 16-years-old boy, we can safely say that here, in principle, there is not a hint of love yet. Because it’s sure to be drooling, sniveling, and fidgeting about everything in the girl’s life. He is still undecided about himself, so jealousy, demands, whims will accompany the couple in everything.
If we are talking about an adult and adequate man, his behavior will consist of many details.
Care and attention
A loving man, if he is not a complete egoist, is sure to show care for his beloved. He is the one who worries about you when you are sick. He will not stop late to find the only 24-hour pharmacy in town and buy you medicine.
This is the one who will certainly fix the faucet, take out the trash, put a plaid on it, bring you tea or give you a foot massage. Such a guy will remember that your mom has mice in the house and will buy arsenic. However, you should be careful, because if your mother is not an angel in the flesh, then the arsenic may not be intended for mice. In general, no matter how you spin it, but all his efforts will be devoted to you, his beloved woman.
The same can be said for attention. When he is in love, he is interested in everything connected with you. Your childhood, youth and student years. Hobbies and hobbies, preferences in cooking, love of travel – all this he will be interested in all the time.
As one of the characters in the TV series “Treason” said: “When you love a man, you know his number by heart. That’s how it really is. When he loves you, he knows everything about you. The date of your dog’s birthday, the code word for the mailbox, the contents of the refrigerator, and the brand of toothpaste.
Only a real man in love will watch Titanic with you for the hundredth time and wipe your tears when Jack disappears into the ocean abyss and scold Rose for taking up the whole door. Only a man in love will remember that your cat is neutered today and needs to be pampered with goodies, and you, too, by the way. Although who knows, maybe he’s not in love, but just sympathizing with the cat in a manly way.
All these signs of attention and care can be shown by a man who deeply and faithfully loves you. Look closely, analyze and you will understand everything. Perhaps now you come to the value of your chosen man.
Self-sacrifice and optimism
A man in love often sacrifices something for the sake of his object of admiration. He may cancel a meeting with friends in the pub to go to the village to his lover’s grandmother to weed radishes. He may not go to a business meeting if his girlfriend urgently needs to go shopping.
Particularly accurate to say that a man in love, if suddenly in a strained relationship with his parents, he takes your side, supporting you and protecting their relationship.
A man in love won’t split expenses in half, ordering himself a lobster from Norway in a restaurant and you a Caesar salad. Or saying that he does not have money to buy you a new purse, although yesterday he bought new tires for his Mustang.
An important signal of love in the heart of men is his optimistic mood in all things related to you. In his state of love he sees only good features in you. A woman’s selfishness he will take as a zest, and bitchiness, as a nice pest. If she throws an iron at his head, he will only laugh, calling her his crazy sweetheart.
In addition, a man who loves will never miss a moment to please his soulmate with pleasant little things. Such will not forget to put in his purse a couple of thousand for small expenses. Will leave a cute little note or chocolate on the pillow. Flowers will be given without reason, just because.
However, do not think that if he no longer does these things, it means that love has passed. No, it is just that over time, any candy and bouquet period ends, and it is replaced by everyday life. But even in everyday life his love will definitely manifest itself, if it has a place in his heart. Only it will be manifested not in gifts from brand stores, but in helping at home, in the upbringing of children, in relation to parents, etc.
Loyalty and honor
It is very important to note how a loving man behaves toward other women. Undoubtedly, such guys are faithful to their mates. If he really loves, he will never think of being infatuated with someone else. As long as there is love, the object of desire, dreams and fantasies will be only you. With all the other girls, no matter how good they are, he will behave just like a friend or acquaintance.
So if you know that he loves you, do not torment him with jealousy. He obviously sees no one else but you. But don’t give him any reason to be. Despite his pure love for you, no one abolished the sense of ownership, and if he wake up primitive instincts, you can get a hammer on the head.
By the way, you can find out about his love, if you notice such a thing. In quarrels and scandals, he behaves more than adequately, and then always comes to make up first. Only a man in love can swallow his pride and go to the reconciliation first. That you can manipulate you, he will not even think. Just try not to abuse his trust and honesty. All patience comes to an end.
And how to understand whether a man loves or uses, read more at the link in our next article.
Circle of trust
A man in love trusts his woman completely. He entrusts her with his deepest secrets, confident that she will never betray him. If he is a thief, he may even take her with him on a case, on the condition that she will be safe.
He also listens very carefully to his woman. Even if he isn’t at all interested and doesn’t need to know what kind of husband the neighbor has, he will still be your most perfect listener.
His desire to make his girlfriend happy will justify any of her faults.
- Killed a man – probably tired, or he sassed her.
- Didn’t clean the house– probably got a headache.
- Burned down the office, she must have lit a cigarette.
- Dropped a nuclear bomb on the U.S. – didn’t get a green card, etc.
A loving man will find an approach to the hearts of his precious mother-in-law and five Caucasian brothers. To please them, he will do any errands and requests. In turn, to his acquaintances and relatives, he will certainly present her as the one, the only one, in his life.
Pages on social networks will be filled with your joint photos, which necessarily will be signed with cute nicknames borrowed from our smaller brothers.
And of course dreams for the future. They will have you everywhere, in his new home, the mother of his children and old age together.
But these are all signs of the behavior of a man in love. And here is how to behave in love man on a subconscious level, will help you to know the non-verbal signs.
The ABC of gestures.
A woman is lucky if she is a professional psychologist or therapist, for example. Then it will not be difficult for her to notice some signals that are unconsciously issued by a man who is in love with her.
Eye to eye
Look closely at his eyes. If he’s not a drug addict, coffee addict, or psycho, his enlarged pupils can be a clear indicator of his love and lust for you. Or he looks directly into your eyes, and you notice that the look becomes warm, this is love.
A smile makes everyone feel better.
Pay attention to the way he smiles at you or in response to your words. With a sincere smile, you will be able to see all the wrinkles on his face and in the corners of his eyes. His laughter will be able to convince you of his sincere feelings if it is not strained or ostentatious.
Hands, feet, head
A man clearly has deep feelings if next to you all the time he tries to touch you, to hug you, to kiss you, to stroke your head, to press against you, etc.
Pay attention how he speaks to others. If the tone of his voice when addressing you softens, becomes gentle and affectionate, he feels something big and real for you.
And probably the main indicator of a man’s body is his penis. They want it all quite prosaic. If it’s worth it, he wants it, if he wants it, there is sympathy and feelings, if he doesn’t want it, goodbye!
Love by Status
All of the above applied to men free of any obligation. But what if you suspect your boss or a married neighbor that they have feelings for you. Then here are a couple of behavioral signs to help you expose them and, if necessary, put them in their place.
The boss in love.
As a rule, the bosses of large firms are either already married, or if they show interest in female employees, only for the purpose of intimacy. However, it is not difficult to notice. In such cases the boss constantly hints at the evening check of the documents in his office, promises to send him to the Maldives on a paid vacation and in general all sorts of golden mountains.
If he is really in love, then the actions will be different, such as:
- help you get any benefits, give you permission to take a vacation, a day off, or leave work early;
- Will give you a job that will help you move up the career ladder faster;
- You will receive sincere praise and well-deserved encouragement for good work.
He will not compromise you in front of all colleagues, giving you flowers during working hours or closing the blinds when you will be in his office. Therefore, if you notice that the behavior of the boss has changed in relation to you, be sure to start analyzing his actions, so that later, if anything, have time to sue him for sexual harassment.
Married man in love
Sometimes it happens that, all of a sudden, a married neighbor or friend starts behaving strangely. So, in order not to look silly, learn to recognize how a man in love behaves if he is married.
- First: he begins to frequently mention the quarrels with his wife, complaining about the problems in the family and showing aggression toward his wife.
- Second: despite the fact that he has to go out, he constantly finds excuses to stay with you longer and not go home. Or he tries to spend all his free time not with his family, but with you.
- And thirdly: he begins to be interested in everything that is related to you. Hobbies and hobbies, for example. He tries to help you around the house or other duties. And of course, he always has time for you. True, his feelings, of course, he does not make public.
But still keep in mind that all of these signs can not apply to every person. There will always be unicums who completely refute any theory or statistic.
And not to be confused with narcissism and to recognize a narcissistic male egoist, you can read in our article further on the link.
How, according to psychologists, can you tell if a man really loves you for real?
How do you know if a man really loves you? Psychologist’s opinion on this subject can not be unambiguous, because all people are different and show their feelings in their own way.
Everyone has special features, as well as circumstances in which the interpretation of certain behavioral changes can be really ambiguous. On the other hand, there are certain nuances that answer a common female question, “How do you know if a man loves you or not?”
Opinion of psychologists about men’s feelings and affections
The opinion of psychologists concerning various emotional states cannot be unequivocal. No self-respecting psychologist would dare to equate everyone in the same way. Psychologists do not consider love to be banal chemistry or the instinct of reproduction. They agree that love as such is dictated by both inner impulses and social nuances, but is still based on something instinctive. Roughly speaking, man loves, and society dictates how to love.
Society, psychologists believe, imposes certain stereotypes of behavior on men. This also applies to the manifestations of love. For example, a man is supposed to be the initiator of relations. And there is also the view that he should always give flowers to girls if he loves her. And give some silly toys, again, if he loves her.
Psychologists have an opinion that this is the pattern that most people follow, even if it is against their nature. This is the original problem of understanding men’s feelings. If socially acceptable patterns of behavior in case of falling in love disgust him, but he forces himself to follow them, it often looks ridiculous and insincere. The result: a man is understood distorted, and the woman is intensively asking advice from girlfriends and psychologists on the strange behavior of a young man.
How do men love?
In different ways. Therefore it is impossible to say unequivocally how to understand that a man loves for real.
Women, unfortunately, quite often interested in some amorphous external manifestations, which are usually artificial.
Candy, flowers, compliments and invitations to the restaurant are not signs that a man loves you, this is just the most banal and hackneyed type of courtship.
How do you know if a man loves you without knowing his personality? Psychologists are sure that everyone has something really special going on inside.
- There are men who love loudly. They can not and do not consider it necessary to keep their feelings inside, so they start doing really amazing things. They, if they love, talk a lot and do a lot. As a rule, they are extroverts.
- Some men love in silence. They keep the feeling somewhere inside them, it inspires them. They don’t have the need to let everyone know that they love, they just have to feel it. They can always really understand and listen to you, and they also rarely lie when they love.
These are just examples, individual opinions. Some jump around and are in a euphoric state, and some quietly radiate warmth from within. If you really know the man yourself, you have a better chance of understanding that he does love you than outside psychologists do.
How do you know if it’s true love for real?
If you want, you can find thousands of instructions and opinions of psychologists on how to know that a man loves you. Do they really work? Psychologists distinguish three categories of interaction between a man and a woman, by which you can try to understand whether he loves you.
Psychologists are sure that this is really the most important point, not chatter and facial expressions. After all, it makes sense.
How do you know that a man loves you and needs you, if not by what he does towards you. It’s what he does that matters, not what he talks about or how.
To understand that a man really loves, according to psychologists, can help the following manners:
- he keeps his word;
- he helps you when you need it;
- he does not try to limit you;
- he really tries to understand you;
- he supports your endeavors and contributes to your further development as a person.
Body language won’t answer the question of how to know if your husband loves you or not. It can tentatively give an indication of interest in you or a desire to ward you off. Or about indifference. But these signs will not give you the opportunity to really understand what’s in a man’s heart.
On his sympathy may indeed indicate the following signs:
- dilated pupils;
- Observation of you in some general interaction with society (for example, when someone jokes, he subconsciously looks at your reaction);
- a sincere smile (with “smiling” eyes – “goosefoots” appear);
- hands around the waist (pockets, belt) – in this case you can really talk about a specific sexual interest;
- an attempt to touch (e.g., to put your arm around, to remove a mote).
The conversation itself, the manner of its conduct and, in fact, its content, can let you know that he loves you, only indirectly. Like non-verbal signs, communication can indicate the presence of sympathy and interest in the person rather than the fact that someone really loves someone. Psychologists believe that love is a serious emotional state, not a fleeting burst in the form of butterflies in the stomach.
According to psychologists, a man respects you and is really interested in you if:
- he is sincere when talking;
- conversation initiated by him, relates to your common subjects;
- man does not try to derail the conversation that concerns you.
How to check that he needs you?
The opinion of psychologists agrees on one thing: if a man needs someone, then he cannot be called truly self-sufficient. To feel defective because of the absence of a man nearby – a sign of lack of autonomy and inability to occupy yourself with anything.
So think a hundred times about whether you really want your young man to need you. Just because he loves you, does not mean that he feels a dire need for you and can not live without you.
What do psychologists advise?
In the question of how to understand that a man loves you, psychology can give some advice that usually women do not like. Why? Because it’s not blaming or analyzing someone else, but taking responsibility for yourself. How do you check if a man really loves you?
You can’t. You probably really can’t. Since of all the people in your environment you are only really responsible for yourself, psychologists suggest to look at the root.
Psychologists believe that if you ask yourself this question, there are two options:
- You have low self-esteem, which fuels your doubts about your own attractiveness in the eyes of your chosen one.
- You do realize somewhere inside that your actions, your deeds, your very attitude, in the end, cannot contribute to love.
If we talk about self-confidence, here the opinion of psychologists is unambiguous and at the same time banal: if you start to really do it for yourself, your self-perception will change greatly. Do not do it for a man, for the same psychologist or for the page in the social network!
If your goal is to improve certain aspects of yourself, you will feel like a completely different person.
You’ll realize that there’s no point in comparing yourself to others, just as there’s no point in trying to be good for everyone. And questions like “How do you know if a man loves you or not?” you won’t even want to type into the search box. You won’t need to. Psychologists believe that the doubts themselves really won’t be there.
The second option deserves a separate lecture from psychologists. Opinions of psychologists agree that women are often thrown to extremes in relation to the representatives of the stronger sex.
There is an opinion that there are two radical poles, when a woman is really convinced that she is right, but at the same time she behaves extremely destructively for the relationship.
- The “I’m a woman, so I’m a goddess” category;
- Ladies who believe that everyone owes them just because they exist;
- Hysterical women who turn any substance into a scandal.
- ardent connoisseurs of the division of functions in life along gender lines;
- amorphous amoebas who have hidden their opinions in the deepest and ugliest trunk, and now indulge others (including men) in everything;
- Girls who look up to their man in love and really see him as the meaning of their lives.
Psychologists believe that if you have signs of any of these groups, it’s really time to change something about yourself. If you decide to create a new relationship or develop old ones, with a high probability everything will go according to the usual scenario, where you will find yourself the misunderstood victim and will remain again at the bottom of the barrel.
If you are wondering how to check if a man really loves you, the test will not help. Sure, you can lie about being pregnant and see how he reacts. You can flirt with other men in front of him.
But will his reaction be proof that he loves you? And will your behavior toward the man be truly honest? If not, can you really demand decent treatment from him afterwards?
The opinion of psychologists is that if you are really curious about his feelings, the best “test” will be a human conversation, where you will find out everything for yourself. For the sake of interest, you can study this article. Maybe it will help you in some other way.
Perhaps just using it?
Well, yes, it’s quite possible. If you look globally, we all use each other. In most cases, of course, psychologists do not deny sincere altruism.
But! Agree that when someone “sacrifices himself,” doesn’t he expect some kind of reaction from the outside? Psychologists believe that this is manipulation in its purest form, which implies getting one’s own benefit.
Think about it: aren’t you using him too? Psychologists advise not to lie at least to yourself. If an honest answer for yourself is positive, then do not be surprised that the use will be mutual. There is an opinion that people around really are mirrors of ourselves, remember that.
If you are diligently searching the web for materials on how to figure out whether your husband loves you or not, then:
- Either there really are some precedents;
- Or you are just bored, so you decided to organize on the spot a problem.
Opinion of psychologists about the second option is unambiguous: in this case it is necessary in the first place to take care of themselves and their development, and not try to look for a catch in the behavior of their men. So let’s talk about the first one.
So, how to understand whether your man loves you or just uses you? If you really want to understand your man, there are telltale signs of his potentially mercenary behavior.
- He only reaches out to you when he needs something.
- He’s not interested in your personal development, and he will require you to sacrifice something of yourself for him.
- He doesn’t help you unless he’s asked for it a hundred times and in addition promises something in return.
- If you have any problems that you really need to solve, he doesn’t have time.
The psychology of men in love and relationships is quite contradictory. On the one hand, he wants independence, and on the other – home comfort and attention. The video below will help you to understand this: