How to improve self-esteem: 10 effective techniques
If you are now thinking about how to improve your self-esteem, you are the creator of your own life. Having realized the problem, you have not resigned yourself to it and have not put it off “for later”, and you are already looking for ways to solve it and are ready to work hard as you should. I am proud of you.
Your attitude, as well as our carefully collected in this article the most effective tips to improve self-esteem, will help to solve this problem once and for all. Only I ask you not just to read the article, and to apply in practice at least some of the recommendations contained here, and you will quickly be able to feel the positive changes in terms of self-esteem. Well, are you ready? Then let’s start in order.
What is self-esteem?
Usually this term refers to a person’s overall perception of their own abilities, capabilities and personal qualities. It does not always coincide exactly with the real capabilities, but it often becomes the main factor of success in life. Therefore, anyone experiencing problems with self-esteem should work on raising it as much as possible.
Self-esteem performs several important functions, the main ones being:
- protection – internal autonomy, the ability to form one’s own opinion and not to be influenced by someone else’s;
- regulation – the ability to make a conscious personal choice;
- development – the desire for self-improvement.
It is important to understand that a person’s low self-esteem is formed not only because of real shortcomings. It is influenced by the opinion of others (from the closest relatives to colleagues and comrades). If it is underestimated, the person spends an excessive amount of energy on doubts, does not undertake ambitious projects, does not believe in himself. If it is overestimated, there is a risk of making mistakes because excessive self-confidence makes a person lose caution. In order to understand how to increase self-esteem, it is necessary to understand how it is formed and what factors influence it.
How self-esteem is formed
The ability to adequately assess one’s own strengths and weaknesses is formed since childhood. Excessive demandingness and severity of parents or a disdainful attitude of friends can have long-lasting consequences. As a result a person grows up, gets an education, gets a job and has a family, but his need to constantly prove something to those around him persists and negatively affects the quality of life.
Friends and relatives also constantly affect self-esteem – a dear person can instantly raise or lower it. Criticism of one’s own address is especially painful, inevitably lowering one’s self-confidence (both in the short term and in the long term). In addition, we often become a source of uncertainty ourselves. Concentrating on failure, we come to disappointing conclusions and engage in self-criticism, reducing our own initiative.
No less frequent source of the formation of low self-esteem is a negative experience from childhood or a consequence of psychological problems Initially, it is formed because of certain features of upbringing and norms of behavior imposed on a child by parents. Subsequently, the perception of their own attractiveness, athletic success and various abilities is added. All the events that occur, forcing a person to rethink their own value, affect his self-esteem. And from a certain moment it begins to play a decisive role in life, forcing a person to give up his ambitions. To overcome this vicious circle, you must actively work on boosting your self-esteem. Continued.
How can you tell if your self-esteem is low?
The following character traits usually indicate the need to work on improving self-esteem:
- Excessive self-criticism for harmless mistakes;
- fear of making mistakes and constant worrying about the smallest things;
- hyper-sensitivity to the opinion of others about themselves;
- unreasonable jealousy because of insecurity
- envy of successful people;
- a constant search for excuses;
- pessimism and a negative perception of events.
Even one of these character traits indicates a noticeable lack of self-confidence. If you found yourself a few items on this list, you urgently need to improve your self-esteem by all available means.
Why does self-esteem decline?
Before we begin to work on improving the self-esteem, let’s understand the main reasons that provoke its decrease. As the saying goes, forewarned is forearmed. What are those factors?
One of the main causes of low self-esteem in modern life is a tendency to “self-digestion. A person is constantly analyzing his failures, comparing himself with other people. He chooses smart, successful and attractive as role models. And comparing himself with them, he begins to consider himself a loser. Of course, the habit of comparing oneself to more successful fellows may help some people and increase their productivity. But for the majority it turns out to be a severe blow to self-esteem.
For girls and women, the most important factor that can lower or raise self-esteem is appearance. The situation is especially bad these days. If yesterday beautiful, almost perfect faces looked at us only from glossy pages, today they are in every social network profile. This has a negative effect on many girls. And even an opportunity to publish your own photo, “photoshopped” to perfection, does not rectify the situation.
There is another factor to which almost everyone has been exposed. It is the experience of defeat. Faced with a severe failure, a person becomes fixated on the situation. He goes over and over in his mind the unpleasant event, thinking about what he should have done to avoid failure. Do you know this feeling? Literally stuck in the past, a person loses control over the present and the future.
There are other factors as well. For example, communication with people trying to improve their own self-esteem at the expense of others. Perfectionism is also a bad assistant, which inevitably strengthens the fear of failure. We have listed the most prominent reasons, in fact there are many more, but let’s not waste time. Let’s move on to the main part of our article.
Simple ways to increase self-esteem
As mentioned earlier – self-esteem can and should be influenced. Of course, you will have to work hard, but believe me – the result is worth it. Harmonious self-esteem makes a person more confident, positive and, most importantly, happy. So, ready to work on self-esteem? Then let’s do it. Here’s our plan:
Find the root of the problem.
Low self-esteem is not genetic-it develops from external influences. To figure out how to boost it, you need to figure out what caused the problem. For example, if self-esteem problems are related to being overweight, you need to remember when you first had disturbing thoughts related to this. Perhaps one of your friends made a joke about it, and you were uncomfortable? In any case, all further work will be much more effective when you are clearly aware of the cause of low self-esteem, and the moment when you lost confidence.
Get rid of self-criticism
All people make mistakes, and you don’t have to blame yourself for every failure. Getting rid of self-criticism will give you several advantages in life:
- You will free up the energy that used to go to self-blame;
- You will learn to accept yourself and be able to focus on achieving goals;
- Your personal strengths will emerge and come to the forefront.
By learning to deal with setbacks creatively and without self-injury, you will be able to capitalize on them. This will be a valuable experience, and in some cases, you can even turn a mistake to your advantage.
What is needed for this? First, no matter how bad the situation was, remember – it could have been much worse. And it was not the worst way it turned out just because of your efforts and experience. In addition, think about how many people in your position would not be able to learn a valuable lesson from the situation, because they are not strong enough in character, but you can. Do this, and imbue yourself with a sense of self-respect for yourself, because failures will no longer break you, but only make you stronger.
In addition to self-criticism, it is important to be able to respond firmly to the criticism of others. We already dealt with this important topic in detail a little earlier, so let’s move on.
Learn to accept failure as an important experience
As we’ve said before, failures can take a big “hit” to self-esteem. But let’s agree once and for all: every painful mistake is a valuable life lesson. Analyze it. Be sure to think about what you can do to avoid similar mistakes in the future, how you can use the experience and what benefits you can draw from it.
Try to look at yourself from the outside, as you would look at a dear person in a similar situation. It is unlikely you would condemn him, right? So you shouldn’t blame yourself either.
Keep a success diary
A success diary is a must-have tool for anyone seeking to improve self-esteem. Disbelieving in yourself, a person automatically begins to attach maximum importance to their own failures, ignoring the successes and praise. It’s time to reverse this trend. Start writing down your own accomplishments, praise from others, and things that you yourself are pleased with. Read more about how to keep a success diary here.
Praise Yourself More Frequently
Self-criticism and self-deprecation are bad habits. So why not replace them with a useful habit – the ability to praise yourself for small victories? Just notice each of your successes and analyze which character trait helped to achieve it. This method will not only help to improve self-esteem, but also to develop useful skills that make you more successful.
But we are not talking about trivial praise, in the spirit of “you’re good. For this to have an effect, you should try to regularly analyze the actions you take. For example, you set a goal to start getting up a little earlier every day. And lo and behold, the next day you did it. Think about the fact that thousands of people on this planet have been trying for years to get up earlier, and you did it in one day. You are a hero, you can be proud of yourself! Make it a habit to analyze your achievements in this way regularly – think about how strong you really are in spirit and how much you can do.
Learn to say “NO!”
Lowered ego and submissive abandonment are mutually causally related. Learn to say no to people who put their interests ahead of yours. By becoming firm and answering “No!” to unwanted offers, you will automatically improve your own self-esteem. You will begin to respect yourself more, realize that you know how to defend their limits, and this is the foundation of a harmonious personality.
Create a positive environment
Avoid negative people recommended for a reason. They notice every unpleasant detail and remind you of it. Try to surround yourself with positive people who prefer to notice the good. Of course, it is not always possible to follow this advice, because the “negative” may be a close relative. In that case, regularly remind him or her that you do not want there to be negativity in communication. Let him or her learn to control himself or herself. Do not be afraid to tell people things that they may not be pleasant to hear; be afraid to keep silent about such things.
Take up sports.
You don’t have to exhaust yourself by working out at the gym. A daily 20-minute jog or an hour walk will noticeably increase your tone and improve your mood. Don’t be afraid to spend time on sports. Anyone who gets into regular jogging or other workouts quickly notices that there is even more free time. The secret is that sports give you a powerful energy boost, helping you get things done faster.
Get out of your comfort zone
Under the pressure of problems, a person becomes dependent on his own weaknesses, which give him a sense of comfort. Sweets, pastries, soap operas, games, alcohol and other ways of self-soothing help to escape the problems in a comfortable inner world for a while. But the problems at this time are not solved, they only accumulate. Subconsciously a person is aware that he is hiding from reality, so his self-esteem inevitably declines. And there is only one way to raise it quickly and effectively – to get out of your “comfort zone” and start actively solving the accumulated problems.
Start using affirmations
Positive affirmations are a technique from psychology that can boost the self-esteem of even the person who thinks he or she is the ultimate loser. They are small statements containing positive attitudes in the style of “I’m strong enough to achieve everything I want! You can find them in text form or in audio recordings. Read them aloud, memorize them, listen to them during a run. These attitudes are memorized, and gradually you will begin to remember them in any situation in life when you need them.
What will working on self-esteem accomplish?
Well, my friends, I hope you have already begun to put into practice the knowledge you have acquired, or will definitely try to do it soon. To make sure you will succeed in the matter of improving your self-esteem, let’s consolidate your motivation, and let’s reflect on the qualities that a person with positive self-esteem has:
- Is confident in his or her own abilities;
- knows his strengths and uses them;
- knows his weaknesses and accepts them;
- does not look for excuses for his/her actions;
- does not need the approval of others;
- is impervious to criticism;
- does not judge people by their appearance;
- does not experience unnecessary anxiety or stress, because he/she is confident in himself/herself.
This is just an incomplete list of what qualities a person who has worked on improving their self-esteem has. In my opinion, it is worth it to grow and develop in this direction, don’t you agree?
My friends, of course there is no single recipe for improving self-esteem that would be suitable for absolutely everyone. But having carefully studied the recommendations of this article, you will surely find a technique that will prove effective for you. Believe in yourself as I believe in you.
12 ways to become confident and improve your self-esteem
The world will give you as much as you value yourself. If you can’t easily make friends, meet girls, talk to strangers, or go to a job interview for a new job, something is wrong. It shouldn’t be a problem. But if it is a difficulty, you should boost your self-esteem and become more confident.
How do you become confident and improve your self-esteem?
1. Don’t forget your strengths.
Think of all your best and strongest points. Without false modesty, describe what you are good at and promising. What you’re great at. What outstanding qualities, abilities and talents you have. Make a list of your strengths and make a list of your weaknesses. Gradually correct your weaknesses and build up your strengths. Supplement the list, as you move forward, with new strengths that used to be weaknesses.
Sports and exercise help in all areas of life. You will feel better, feel stronger and more beautiful, which gives you confidence. Exercise 2-3 times a week and you will feel a completely different image.
3. Calm down and act more confident.
All of our excitement comes through our body language. Don’t fuss, and act calm and confident. Spread your shoulders and avoid slouching. Speak louder, slower and more judgementally. Get rid of verbosity. Make eye contact and smile. 4.
Give yourself time for sleep, rest, hobbies and hobbies. Rest will give you strength, and hobbies will give you a taste of life. Meditate, relax, read books, go fishing, etc. Keep your calm and don’t let stress develop.
5. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Everyone has their own life and their own path. Compare not where you are, but what point you came out of and what pit you got out of. Compare yourself yesterday with yourself today. If there is progress, you are growing.
6. Don’t be too hard on yourself
We all love to criticize ourselves, to blame ourselves for past mistakes and blunders. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Scold yourself a little and move on. Remember the good things you’ve done. Think about the good things you have done for your family, friends and others. Assess how positive, friendly, and good you are. You’re cool.
7. Go beyond.
Try an extreme sport or something out of the ordinary for you. Take up martial arts, kayak, hike in the mountains, skydive, get into yachting. Get up with strangers, visit unfamiliar places, travel, and get out of the ordinary more often.
It’s hard to imagine a strong person who is full of bad habits, doesn’t devote time to his health and eats fast food. You need to eat wholesome meals and live a healthy lifestyle to feel empowered. Then you will feel strong and confident in your body.
9. Develop optimism and smile
Confident people always radiate optimism, friendliness and cheerfulness. A positive outlook on life makes it easier to overcome bumps in problems and difficulties. Stop moping. Smile wider in the mirror at yourself and the people around you.
10. Set realistic goals.
Perfectionism in dreams is too bad. Often we set unattainable goals and then suffer for it. It undermines our confidence and self-esteem. Give up on unattainable goals, and chase what you can do with the right amount of diligence. Backing off in time is prudence, which will save time and energy for other endeavors.
11. Take action
Focus on solving difficulties, not on the magnitude of problems. The ability to achieve goals, do the right things, and achieve mastery of a cause gives us confidence. The more effort you put in, the more often good things come out.
Attractive clothing gives you confidence in your appearance and in yourself. Stop walking around in old, dirty or mediocre clothes. It undermines self-esteem and self-respect. Think back to how you feel when you buy new sneakers or a cool jacket. Even beautiful underwear gives us confidence. Dress nice all the time and you’ll always feel cool.