He is married she is married psychology

Married lovers and married mistresses : how is this possible?

Good day, people who get married and remain committed to each other throughout their lives deserve respect. But situations happen when lovers appear on the side. A married woman’s relationship with a married man is not uncommon. No family is immune from such a love triangle. Unfortunately, human feelings are not fully under our control.

Causes of relationships

Most people think that the mistress is only an attractive, charming, young, unmarried girl. A man who is financially able to support her is able to have such a mistress. You can call her a “Barbie”, a doll, which is distinguished by its vitality and requires care.

A man presents his mistress with various expensive gifts. In return, she presents her suitor with affection, warmth, understanding. The guy will be able to relax with her and rest from the routine of family life. This model of behavior is in our minds thanks to movies, books and other sources of information.

Rarely does anyone allow for the idea that married lovers’ relationships exist. In real life, things are much harsher and less predictable. For the most part, a married guy is not interested in a “Barbie.” He wants a girl who will shower him with affection, warmth, care and support. Near such a girl, a guy feels most happy. In contrast to spending time with his wife, who constantly demands something.

Attention. Extramarital relationships arise from the usual friendship between a man and a woman. Then, the friendship imperceptibly develops into something more.

Men pay attention not only to young, beautiful and sexy ladies during the search of a new passion, but also to girls of their age and older. They have their own life experience under their belt and usually such women are married. A married girl is in no hurry to divorce her legitimate husband because of a “prince on a white horse”. In such relationships, lovers, most often there is only an intimate connection. After some time, they may develop a deeper relationship.


A girl who puts on the image of a mistress, unknowingly adjusts her suitor to the role of a future husband. “Casanova” to communicate with a girl who is married is easier. She has a spouse, and she hides her desire for a new relationship. Lives a quiet life. Spends time at work, at home, meeting with friends and spending time in secret meetings with a suitor. To make a decision to change her life, the girl several times to weigh the pros and cons and only then, decide to change her life. After all, the decision will affect all members of her present family.

It is easier for married people to have secret meetings with lovers. None of the lovers commit to each other in any way. At this point, not only do they take care of their lives, but they also do not forget about their families, trying to maintain the external family well-being. Due to the mystery, such a relationship can last for a long time.

Additional pluses

Relationships of married lovers have their advantages:

  1. Diversity in intimate life. Sexual life is filled with new impressions, emotions, and sensations. Novelty favors the emergence of a strong liking for the man. Both partners gain experience in sex. Being in a marriage, confident in their health and there is no fear of contracting a venereal disease. No matter how the relationship develops, each is mindful of their legitimate family. Neither of them is interested in catching a sexually transmitted disease.
  2. An affair with a married woman does not strain the lover’s financial situation. There is no need to give expensive gifts for the new lady of the heart. It is not necessary to forget about the husband. It is possible that the spouse, seeing an expensive item, immediately, will be interested in where his wife got it. So the spouse of the lover will be interested in what the money was spent. Coming up with a harmless explanation along the way is not a good choice. The cheater (Tsa) risks confusion and possible exposure, leading to divorce, court action, division of property, and so on. Therefore, having a lover, try to keep your relationship secret.
  3. A mysterious relationship with a married girl will last much longer than with a young and free couple. This is due to the fact that a married woman, like a man, are both interested in the secrecy of what is going on.
  4. The cheater can save well on gifts for his married mistress. He enjoys the mysterious intrigue of what is going on, gaining additional experience in bed.

Why married women get involved with married men

In today’s society, men are considered constant adventurers. Finding a new hobby is often problematic, the search translates into career growth or promotion. An affair with a new girl, can give a guy a sense of his own importance.

Things are different with girls. Of course, there are also adventurous women among them. More often the affair with a married man is a bold decision, which not every woman decides to make. Such an action is considered and taken for good reasons:

  • A strained relationship with their own spouse. It happens that after living together for a long time, the partners lose interest in each other. As a consequence, men stop paying attention to their girlfriend, intimacy becomes less frequent every time. The girl begins to have thoughts about infidelity, because of dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.
  • Difference of opinion about the future life. Usually the cause is a difference in intellectual terms.
  • When a young maiden gets married early, with no life experience at all. Over time, she grows up and her views change on certain things. From her experience, the girl begins to look at her current marriage very differently.
  • She may thus take revenge on her husband for the earlier infidelity on his part. Very often, this very event is the reason for the formation of a love affair on the side.

The dangers of

In a love affair, there are certain dangers. One of the most important is the psychological confinement that is directed at married lovers. It has to do with the infidelity of one member of the family. When his mate finds out about it, the spouse has a desire for revenge. A fleeting affair can provoke the lovers to have a strong attraction for each other.

The love relationship between them begins to be perceived in the same way as the family relationship in their official families. The lover becomes a dear and irreplaceable person. Thoughts begin to arise in your mind that you have met the right person. With whom, you can create, indeed, a strong and loving family. Dreams of becoming happy, truly finding true love. The kind of love you hear about in fairy tales. In reality, however, these feelings are bursts of infatuation and pass after a while.

The Psychology of Relationships

A married man and a married woman experience an affair with no commitment to each other. These relationships do not fit the wording of a romantic relationship. They look more like spy games. It is the mystery and guile that continues to sustain a love affair.

It is not uncommon for family ties to collapse because of an encounter with a first love. When they were young, the couple in love became engaged. However, their family did not work out. But both men and women have flashbacks of past first love. It may happen that the path of life of these people decides to bring together again their destinies and rekindle feelings. In this regard, meetings with first love will be transformed into a secret romance.

Warning. Often, a thrill on the side can lead to attachment to a man and the formation of a secret affair. It happens that people who are married are looking for unusual sensations, the kind that will excite them. It happens that an ordinary intimacy can develop into a long-lasting union.

When a married woman has fallen in love with a married man or vice versa. Their psychology is very complex and different from the usual psychology. In certain situations, an affair on the side restores the previously faded feelings of the spouses. But, in most cases, is the cause of their separation. This situation is greatly complicated when the couple have children. Everyone knows that children react sharply to disagreements between parents in the family.

Opinion of psychologists

The very psychological approach and advice of a psychologist in relation to married lovers is equal to a married couple. The very fact of cheating with busy partners is explained by the desire to realize the motive of competition. A busy partner is considered a more promising option for life together. After all, it is not for nothing that the marriage was concluded with him or her.

So, there are advantages in this person. Because of this relationship collapses already built family union. People try to replace the discord in the relationship with a spouse with a new union, but this rarely ends in success. When the opportunity to meet openly arises, people change their relationship to one another. That illusory image of an ideal partner disappears, prompting them to want to resume once-destroyed relationships with past partners.

Usually, an affair on the side, gives a woman the opportunity to relax, to distract from family life, without losing her status as a married woman. While a married man realizes and satisfies his hunter and conqueror instinct. After satisfying his desire, he does not have to think about starting a family with her, because she is already married.

There are many reasons why married people cheat on their partners with other married people. There are many reasons why married people cheat on their partners with other married people. Guys, when they find out about cheating, for the most part, don’t make a scene and don’t go cheating back. They just part with the unfaithful chosen one. Although, at the same time, they can have a girlfriend on the side. This is a paradox in psychology. What do you think about such romances? Share your opinion in comments.

Psychology and peculiarities of the relationship of a married man and a married woman

Love does not depend on the stamp in the passport. Therefore, when choosing a partner, a person is rarely interested in the marital status of the chosen one. Sometimes the ties of marriage bind one of the lovers, but it happens that both partners have already managed to have a family. What makes people cheat? What are the characteristics of the relationship between a married man and a married woman? Can they be happy? Let’s try to answer some crucial questions.


Why is dating with a married partner attractive to both a married woman and a married man? There are benefits that suit either sex:

  1. There is no commitment to a partner. Consequently, there is no room for resentment, guilt and remorse.
  2. The possibility of pleasant communication. The liberation of sexual relations.
  3. A break from everyday problems, family obligations, and troubles. No one will reproach for the unbrought garbage, unpaid bills or a leaking faucet in the bathroom.
  4. A positive atmosphere, a romantic setting, and pleasant feelings.
  5. Gaining experience, including sexual, which may be useful in future relationships or in the family.

But the reasons that push into the arms of married or married lovers in men and women are different.

What drives a man

Representatives of the stronger sex to sex outside the marital bed treat easier. And the relationship between a married man and a married woman is considered comfortable, reliable and safe, as the partners are in equal conditions of the marital union:

  • if the mistress is a married lady, excessive conspiracy and secret meetings will not seem offensive and humiliating;
  • An experienced woman will surround you with care, attention and comfort, without requiring a reciprocal response from your chosen one;
  • Alien wife will not read precepts, pry into the soul, to demand promises and vows of loyalty.

As a rule, sexual relations without spiritual closeness are not considered by men as treason. Therefore, a partner who is married is an ideal mistress.

What provokes a woman

For the beautiful half of humanity, the family has a great value. Therefore, to decide to cheat, a woman needs a good reason or an irresistible attraction. Women love married men and risk family well-being if:

  • They feel that their love for their spouse has passed. The resulting emptiness is replaced by unexplored and new sensations;
  • Not enough affection, attention from their spouse. No matter what the cause of this behavior of the husband. Perhaps, instead of a passionate love came peace and quiet, and her husband stopped being a fervent lover, not considering the wishes of his wife. Maybe restraint is a distinctive character trait. In any case, if a woman feels deprived and unnecessary, looking for satisfaction of needs away from the family hearth;
  • the husband prefers the company of buddies. An abused spouse suffers from an inferiority complex if the man she loves constantly leaves home. Fishing, the gym, and the company of friends are more important than spending time with your spouse;
  • Feelings of revenge. Intercourse with a married man may be a reaction to her husband’s infidelity. Lowered self-esteem, hurt self-love pushes the fairer sex to rash actions. This helps to avoid depression, gain confidence, and often save the marriage;
  • Craving for romance. As time goes by, marital relations lose their emotionality and brightness, and become habitual and commonplace. But dreams remain. If the spouse is unable to reanimate the relationship, the woman looks for vivid impressions and thrills outside the home;
  • Sexual dissatisfaction. A married lover often becomes a necessity. This happens when the spouse in bed ceases to consider the woman’s desire and is limited to the performance of marital duties. The dissatisfaction makes one decide to cheat.

The relationship between a married man and a married woman sometimes becomes the only way to keep the family together.

What benefits does a man see

A man who is married, deciding to cheat, stops at the choice of a married woman. What are the reasons for such a decision?

Calmer and more reliable.

If a man does not plan to part with his wife, a married mistress is an ideal opportunity to relax, improve self-esteem, distract from everyday problems and troubles. The mistress will not demand a divorce and will keep the relationship a secret. This is a mutually beneficial tacit agreement between the two non-free partners.


Being late or postponing a date, forgetting to congratulate on a holiday, the man does not feel guilty. The partner will enter into the situation, will not be offended, will not throw a tantrum. Unlike the free girl, who does not understand the behavior of the lover.

More Advantageous

A married partner is much cheaper than an unmarried lover. Expensive gifts are cancelled, because a new car will cause bewilderment to the spouse. A trip to a warm country is postponed indefinitely because the partner is used to resting in the company of her husband. The relationship between a married man and a married woman should be kept secret, so there is no need to spend money on expensive restaurants, nightclubs, and social parties. The feelings of the partner do not depend on the material investment of the lover.

Safer .

Such a relationship preserves health. After all, a married woman will not often change partners, and, therefore, does not risk contracting an unpleasant disease. The physical health of the partner maintains mental balance.

What advantages a woman sees

Women love married men and give them preference when choosing a lover. Representatives of the weaker sex are not afraid of rare meetings and conspiracy. They are ready to share a partner with their spouse and do not pretend to expensive gifts, because they themselves are bound by marital obligations.

A married lady perfectly understands the positive aspects of such a relationship. She is attracted to the following qualities:

Doesn’t get jealous.

Does not have the right to such luxuries. Jealousy scenes are the lot of the legitimate spouse. Irritation, annoyance and bruised self-esteem lover is obliged to hide from outsiders. He will not hurt his partner with silly suspicions, because he risks losing a comfortable haven. Fear of publicity and gossip that can destroy the family of his chosen one. The single suitor has little concern about the family well-being of his partner.

Restrained in desires.

A single man who is not concerned about family problems will insist on regular long meetings and dates. Unspent energy, lots of free time create problems in the relationship. After all, a woman spends most of her time on family and communication with her husband. With a married partner it is much easier to plan communication. Rare short meetings suit both lovers, do not become a habit and remain a holiday of soul and body.


Married lover will not risk a woman’s reputation by appearing at work with a fancy bouquet of roses. Will not annoy with messages and calls. Only single partners are capable of such unpredictable madness. Married man observes the unspoken terms of a secret relationship, because he is afraid of problems and trouble.

The psychology of a married man’s relationship with a married woman implies a breakup without scandal. Therefore, the connection with a married man is comfortable, safe and unburdening.

What’s next.

More often than not, an affair between unmarried partners is an affair without continuation. The relationship gradually moves toward finality and ends in a consensual breakup.

At first, lovers are driven by passion and a desire to experience unexplored sensations. As you know, “forbidden fruit is sweet.

Then the aura of romance gives way to habit. Mystery disappears, but the problems and fear of disclosure remain.

A person, experiencing constant stress, strives for peace, comfort and coziness. He looks at his legal half with different eyes and understands the simple truth: “It is good where we are not.

According to statistics, no more than ten percent of married couples disintegrate from – because of cheating spouses with a married partner. New relationships help to appreciate the old and return to the old established life.

If a real strong feeling flares up between lovers that does not fade over the years, the secret connection will grow into a deep, legitimate relationship.

Women love married men, but suffer from such a relationship more:

  1. The initiator of the breakup is more often the married man.
  2. A married lady who decides to cheat is torn between two fires. Gives love to her partner, trying not to deprive his spouse of attention. Wasting mental strength, nerves, and health.
  3. Married man, communicating with his mistress, he is resting from his problems, he is enjoying himself, he is becoming stronger.

Not because of, but despite.

Married partners are attracted to each other, despite all the disadvantages of such relationships. Why create problems, waste energy and emotions, build castles on the sand? What force pushes lovers towards each other? There are several explanations for the illogical behavior:

  1. An irresistible physical attraction to a member of the opposite sex.
  2. Escape from reality. If the situation in the family heats up to the limit, but the decision to divorce is not ripe, a man or woman is trying to forget in the arms of another person.
  3. Craving for Happiness. The soul, tired of the routine of domestic cares and scandals, asks for easy companionship that doesn’t commit to anything.
  4. Chasing a dream. Having discerned the flaws and weaknesses of a spouse, the person seeks an ideal partner, mistakenly taking an imaginary image for the original.
  5. Exaggerated self-esteem. A feeling of own superiority and irresistibility requires constant confirmation. It is easy to seduce a single man, unmarried woman. Winning the favor of a man who is legally married is much more difficult, but more interesting.

The psychological relationship between a married man and a married woman is complex and unpredictable. Deciding to cheat, it is necessary to analyze the reasons, to weigh the expected problems, to imagine the achieved result. If the driving force is not love, but boredom, frustration, hurt self-love, it is worth thinking before you create problems for yourself and others.

Only true strong love can justify any rash actions and vain sacrifices.

Leave a Comment