The girl is ignoring after a quarrel: to understand and deal with
How difficult it is sometimes to establish a relationship, but even more difficult to keep them. It seems that yesterday everything was fine, and today the girl does not respond to calls and SMS, does not want to communicate. What should the young man do if the girl is ignored after a quarrel? Let’s look into it.
Ignoring is hard
Everyone who has experienced ignoring knows this unpleasant feeling. Although many people use similar tactics. A young man who is ignored by his beloved, there is a sense of guilt, he begins to engage in self-discovery, looking for ways to reconcile. Here it is important to control the situation, to keep self-control, to control the situation. It is worth to understand: maybe the girl really does not want to continue the relationship and this is a reason for breaking up, or maybe she just shows resentment, makes it clear that you were wrong in relation to her. In any quarrel there are two sides – a winner and a loser.
A girl who has taken the path of ignoring you is trying to take a dominant position. And perhaps this is an easy way to get her way. There are different ways out of this situation.
The essence of ignoring
In a normal situation, ignoring consists of a lack of response to appeals from a man. A girl does not answer the phone, or gets off with a short response: “I’m busy”, “I do not have time. There may also be a more curt form: “I don’t want to communicate with you”.
The young person is experiencing obvious discomfort, anxiety. Of course, much depends on what level the relationship was at. One thing is when the couple just started communicating and their relationship is in its infancy stage. Then ignoring indicates the absence of feelings and the futility of further relations. But if the quarrel occurred between loving people, whose relationship was long, it is worth looking for deeper reasons for such behavior of the lady of the heart. Understand the importance of the relationship for both.
How do you even know if you are being ignored?
Psychologists distinguish several signs that allow you to understand that a girl turns on ignoring:
- Does not respond to calls and texts longer than usual;
- actively communicating on social networks;
- Appears on the sites, chat rooms, leads an active correspondence with others, but does not respond to your requests;
- stopped reading your messages at all.
What should a guy do in this situation? There is no single answer to this question. Undoubtedly, everything depends on the situation that led to this behavior of the girl, on the level of relations and the depth of feelings. Psychologists recommend choosing one of the following strategies:
- Try to clarify the situation and find out what caused such a boycott. Ask the question directly: What happened? What caused this attitude?
- Try to understand yourself. Perhaps you really offended the person and it is worth apologizing.
- Step back. Stop calling and writing. Time will help sort things out.
- Take a pause. Let the girl cope with her emotions, calm down and sort out her own feelings.
Common sense, analysis of the situation will always help you find the right solution and the way out of the problem. But the most important thing is to understand the reason.
So, 10 reasons why a girl ignores you
Psychologists identify different reasons. Perhaps their recommendations will help a man to understand why a girl ignores him.
She needs time
You communicated, you dated for a while, but it wasn’t enough. The girl decided to take a break to sort herself and you out. Maybe you said or did something she didn’t like. In that case, do not be intrusive. Give her time, don’t push. Perhaps, seeing that you stopped writing and calling, she will find a way to continue communication.
Mood of the fair sex is variable and often depends on the physical condition. In the life of girls there are periods when she was irritated by everything, there are emotional outbursts, nerves on edge. This should be understood, be patient and wait it out. In a couple of days this state will pass.
She is stressed or has a difficult period in her life
Life difficulties happen to everyone: problems at work, a difficult session, illness of loved ones. The girl is just not up to you right now. You need to understand and accept the situation, perhaps unobtrusively offer help, support in a crisis situation. Or just let go and wait for better times.
You were too serious or boring.
Boredom does not make a man beautiful. Especially if the girlfriend has a sense of humor, cheerful. At the beginning you gave the impression of an interesting person, but in the process of communication turned out to be boring. Girls perceive cheerful, sociable young men who can create a good mood. Or maybe she is not ready for your such a serious attitude and she was not interested in further communication.
You’re in the friendzone.
Girl sees you as a friend, and no more. She’s happy to go for walks, have conversations, but she keeps her distance. Do not allow yourself to kiss, hug, stop the manifestation of feelings. Alas, but it happens. The choice is yours. If you are satisfied with the relationship, you are interested in her as a person, not as an object for a romantic relationship – it’s up to you. But, keep in mind the “Friendzone” will be closed. As soon as the girl finds a real boyfriend. Eventually you will find yourself overboard.
A girl willingly communicates with you at certain times, but won’t return calls or texts at other times. You need to understand that she may indeed be busy. Work, household chores – well, there are very few situations where she just can’t deal with you. In that case, you just need to agree on a convenient time for communication.
She is waiting for you to act or you are a fallback.
Fickleness in your relationship is manifested. Yesterday she was nice and active in communication, but today she does not answer your calls. The girl then disappears from sight, then returns, speaking in riddles, often reminiscing about former relationships. There are two scenarios: she likes you, and she is waiting for a more decisive behavior. It is possible that ignoring you is a way to get attention. But it is possible that she has a boyfriend, and you are just a backup for her. That’s your choice.
She doubts her feelings.
This can happen. You like this girl, she feels comfortable with you, but confidence in his feelings. She doubts whether you are the man she needs. Well, let sort out your feelings, take a break. Do not bother her friend with calls and messages.
She doesn’t like this phase of the relationship.
The situation is clear. The girl is not satisfied with the level of relationship you are in. She expects something else from you. Your ignoring makes it clear that she is waiting for a qualitative change in your behavior in relation to her. Think about what you want. Talk to your chosen one, find a common approach, or wait until your girlfriend makes up her mind and contacts you.
She’s just offended.
In this case, we can say that ignoring is a way of manipulation. Many women are touchy. Your words or actions were unpleasant, and this way she demonstrates her rejection of your behavior. Here are two ways: either you find a reason and resolve the conflict, or do not go on and stand your ground. Otherwise, such manipulation can become a habit.
If a girl is ignoring – another vision of the problem – the picker’s opinion
Pickers – professional seducers. They already know how to cope with a capricious beauty. Here is their vision:
- The main reason for ingor is a lack of interest and a desire to dominate.
- It is important to understand what you want from a girl. Do you need this relationship, or is “sports excitement” playing.
- If she ignores you at the beginning of the relationship, then she has no interest in you.
What to do if you’re being ignored
As you have probably already realized, there is no unambiguous answer to this question. Psychologists have their own methods to help avoid total mistakes.
Method 1 of 3: Get to the point
It is unlikely that the girlfriend will ignore on nothing. Therefore, you need to analyze your behavior and attitude towards her. Perhaps the girl treats you sincerely, wants to continue the relationship, but is offended. In this case, the best solution is to find out the problem.
Method 2 of 3: Talk about it
Each member of the fair sex is a person, with her own desires, needs and principles. A guy should understand this and take it into account. Try to talk to your chosen one, clarify the relationship, understand what she expects from you. You need to do this calmly, without unnecessary emotions. Agree “on the shore”. This will help to avoid similar situations in the future.
Method 3 of 3: Find a solution
Talking frankly will help to solve the problem. You may need to be more attentive, treat it with more respect. Explain your position and desires. If the girl sees that you’re trying to find a solution to the problem, she’s sure to respond. Together you will find a way out of the situation.
Ignore after a conflict
There are always two parties involved in a quarrel. If a woman turns on ignoring after a quarrel, it means she thinks the man is to blame. Either the value of the relationship for her so small, that she is ready to leave, or it does not suit your attitude towards it. The first to reconcile is always the one who is more afraid of losing the relationship. It is important for the guy to remain calm and composure.
The biggest mistake – throwing messages, cutting off the phone, trying to figure out the relationship right away. It’s important to understand the significance of the relationship, to understand the situation and not to let yourself be manipulated.
In conclusion, a short question-and-answer session:
- The girl ignores in contact, should she write?
First scout the situation – to write a message to understand the reason. Well, then proceed according to the situation.
- What can not be done if you are ignored?
Freak out, panic, insult, cut off the phone with calls.
Ignoring is a way of manipulation. It is important not to “drown” in the problem and remember that everyone has the right and opportunity to choose. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being ignored, be calm and reasonable. Try to focus on your life and your goals.
The “no-contact period” rule
Today I’m going to tell you about the so-called “no-contact period” rule. I suppose you’ve already scoured the Internet for an answer to the question you’re wondering: how do you get your ex back? But most likely you have not heard about the “no-contact period” rule. So what is this rule and how does it work? And it’s very simple!
In brief, the basis of this strategy is as follows: after breaking up a relationship to completely eliminate communication with his ex for a month. And then, perhaps, she herself will want to get back to you. At least, most girls in such a turn of events themselves begin to think about how to restore the relationship with his ex.
You’re probably thinking right now:
“WHAT? Missing out for a MONTH?! Is that such a good idea? It might work for someone, but not for me…”
Well, if that’s what you thought somewhere, then you’re not much different than most of my clients that I counsel day in and day out. And there are thousands of people who have started to get their relationships back with their exes using this principle! It works! I won’t dwell on the details of WHY it works as it is part of the strategy outlined in this article and in my Ex Factor course. You don’t need to know how a computer works to use it, right?
I will just tell you that scientific psychologists have done a lot of research on this issue and it is already scientifically proven that this tactic does bring success.
In this article, I want to focus on the question of whether the “no-contact period” method works for everyone and how it works.
Reasons for cutting off contact
So, why limit any contact? Why do you have to completely ignore your ex for a full 30 days after the breakup? Let me explain: The first two reasons are quite obvious and understandable.
The first reason is.
This time is given to you to “lick your wounds” without unnecessary witnesses. All of your emotions, heartache and the pain you feel after the breakup are all kept out of the public eye. So to speak:
The second reason
By not crossing paths with your ex, you thereby protect yourself from rash actions, from any unnecessary actions like “should I send my ex a text message?” After all, there is a high probability that just in the middle of the night or on a drunken head you want to write to her that you still love her and miss her a lot. In general, the point is that you can not spoil something until you communicate with her (5 common mistakes).
The third reason
This may come as a surprise, but it may be the most important reason for the “no-contact period”: to make your ex miss you (read how to do it). By completely ignoring her, you’re essentially completely excluding yourself from your ex’s life. Who, let’s not forget, is still attached to you. And she needs to know you’re there for her to feel comfortable. And then you suddenly disappear!
For her it can be just a shock! And it will be much harder for her to come to her senses. It will take longer, and it will be more painful for her. Which, in the end, will lead to the fact that she will miss you.
Bottom line: if you want to get your ex back, you have to make her want to come back. Ideally, it should begin to do something to resume the relationship with you to save yourself the pain of the breakup.
The fourth reason
In addition to missing you by not seeing you, your ex can finally let go of all the bad memories associated with you. And, eventually, forget and the reason why you broke up. After all, people often tend to forget the bad things and keep only the good things in mind.
Chances are the same thing will happen to your ex: she will start to run through the memory of all the good things that are associated with you. And she will start to forget why she actually decided to break up with you. She’ll forget what made her unhappy with you.
And all this will work much better just when you limit all communication with her, so as not to remind her of those unpleasant moments. So by ignoring your ex, you give her time for all the negative memories to fade, if not disappear altogether.
The fifth reason
And finally, the last fifth reason for the super-effectiveness of the “no-contact period” method is that you are clearly letting your ex know that you have already “got over it” and are moving towards something new and better.
Of course, you can’t wait indefinitely while she ponders whether to stay single or try her luck with someone else. You can’t be around all the time. And unless your ex changes her mind and decides to come back to you, you will need to take some further steps.
Essentially, you will have to shift the center of gravity from your ex, who broke up with you and doesn’t want to come back, to yourself. And so you suddenly say:
“You know, don’t worry about me, I’ll manage on my own somehow. I’ll be fine. If you don’t want me in your life, so be it.”
And that’s going to play in your favor later on when you want to get your ex back.
Exceptions to the rules and other options
- So, does the “no-contact period” strategy work in all situations?
- What if it’s been three months since your breakup?
- What if you are living together?
There may come across many of these ” ifs ” and many contentious situations. But in most cases, I insist, no contact! True, sometimes it can be expressed in some other way. Anyway, if you still have doubts about the efficacy of my method, you can turn to someone else.
If you watch my free videos and read my articles, you will always find a comment form below them in case you want to talk to me or ask me if the “no-contact period” strategy is applicable in your particular case.
I’ve also prepared a list of articles to supplement the material above on this topic:
- When is it best not to ignore an ex? Exceptions for the “no-contact period” at the end of the “no-contact period”
- What if she forgets me during the no-contact period?
Also, please note the fact that the no-contact period by itself does not produce tangible results and cannot act as the only technique for getting your ex-girlfriend or wife back. It is one of the most important elements of my course, but if you compare the Ex Factor to a car, the no-contact period is just one of the four wheels!
Good luck! Arthur Nikitin
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I met my ex at work, we dated for 2 months, recently broke up at her initiative. How to use a no-contact period if we work together?
Does the no-contact method work if we have a child together
Would you tell me? It’s not like I don’t know what your responsibilities are in raising your child. Also, there are always exceptions to the rules. There are mentions of this in my course, and in this article as well. Let me remind you, this method is only part of a set of activities.
Hello! I left my ex-husband, he’s a mama’s boy. I work on a rotational basis. I split up almost a month ago, and I still have a month and a half to go home. Do not write, do not call her. Her parents talk to me and stand by my side. I try to take myself away from her, in many ways even changed, in a good way.How to be when I come home ?
Hello Arthur! Tell me please, 30 days have passed, she does not write and do not call, can I write myself following your article: “How to get back my ex-wife with sms or keep the period without contact? Thanks in advance.
Good day Alexander. I ask you to regard with understanding the following lines:
Excerpt from the article: …I am truly disappointed by people who take the no-contact period method, wait 2 months, and then write that the method didn’t work. The ex didn’t come back! How so! And most often this is expressed in sincere indignation! The whole reason is that this person chose the easiest part of the method – to do nothing, and then convinced himself that this is enough! I argue to the contrary–you will have to work harder during the no-contact period than you ever did during a relationship. You will have to start by analyzing your qualities and immediately start reinforcing them and demonstrating the results. It’s the results, not the talking…. Source: https://www.ex-opportunity.com/kak-vernut-byvshuyu/lichnaya-konsultatsiya-u-artura-nikitina.html You want to understand what you’ve done wrong and what and how to do – find 700 rubles and buy the course “The Ex Factor”, which will give a proper understanding of the methodology and order of action. At the moment you just pulled out of a set of measures one tool and hope for success.
Hello, my name is Pavel I am 22 years old, I had a good relationship with my girlfriend Alyona she is 16 years old, we broke up about 2 weeks ago, she suggested to break up because I did not give her enough time, rarely called, rarely wrote, and rarely offered to meet for the past 2 months, she was tired and she had a good friend with whom she communicated while I was busy doing small things that could easily be put off and go out with her. She once texted me on VK that she was thinking of breaking up with me because of this, but a couple of weeks before that I on the contrary started texting her a little more often, she liked that I started spending more time with her while she had this friend Daniel, but was afraid that my attitude towards her would be the same when he disappeared from her life. I met with her, explained that I would change my attitude, admitted that I love her and she also admitted to me that she used to have feelings for me too when we were together more often, but she said that she had a new boyfriend that she was interested in and wanted to try her new relationship, but could come back to me if I proved to her that I would see her more often. We chatted on social media for almost 2 weeks and went out a couple of times, but I decided to abruptly use the no contact period rule and she was offended because she thought I hadn’t changed and thought she would stay with her boyfriend Daniel forever, and she was afraid to date me because she thought she would see me again rarely. Then I met with her again, she offered to be her friend, but I refused and said that I wanted to fix it and that I did not want to communicate with her as a friend and said that it was better for us not to communicate at all for a while and that we could still be together, but when do not know, she was upset that I refused to be her friend and we broke up and now I do not know whether I should use the rule without contact period in my situation or it can only hurt, because she left me precisely because I almost did not give her time, and now generally will stop? Please help me with advice in this situation
You made a mistake in the choice of method and instead of using the whole method, you decided to take out of context what you did the easiest. Here is an excerpt from the article that will help you understand my attitude towards this kind of situation: …I am genuinely disappointed by people who take the no-contact method, wait 2 months, and then write that the method didn’t work. The ex didn’t come back! How so! And most often this is expressed in sincere indignation! The whole reason is that this person chose the easiest part of the method – to do nothing, and then convinced himself that this is enough! I argue to the contrary–you will have to work harder during the no-contact period than you ever did during a relationship. You will have to start by analyzing your qualities and immediately start reinforcing them and demonstrating the results. It is the results, not the talking…. Source: https://www.ex-opportunity.com/kak-vernut-byvshuyu/lichnaya-konsultatsiya-u-artura-nikitina.html Want to understand what you did wrong, read the article at the link above. Maybe it will help you to choose the right path. Good luck!
Interesting article! I just don’t understand one thing, here is the phrase “You know, don’t worry about me, I’ll manage somehow. I’ll be fine. If you don’t want to see me in your life, so be it” – should this be written after the non-contact period, if she doesn’t write, or before it starts?
This technique is part of the Ex Factor course, and it only makes sense to apply it when you understand what you need to do dynamically. Otherwise, it won’t be of much use.
The rules of communication via texting and moments of using certain billets are in the course. There are also several free articles. Here is a link to one of them: https://www.ex-opportunity.com/kak-vernut-byvshuyu/smskami.html
Hello, my name is Mikhail I am 30, lived with my girlfriend for 4 years, after that we separated, she said that she had indifference to me that I killed all my feelings, yes there were such moments, but when I realized my mistake, I tried to fix it but it did not help and now we have parted ways, at first she came and we had sex, But since I love her for me every such meeting was given hard, so I offered a farewell sex and asked to delete my number and not to bother me, blocked me in all social networks and messengers, she said she would not, but not much time has passed as she began texting type how are you there, all is well with me and call trying to do what to do, continue to keep at a distance?
You got a typical reaction of a rejected girl who is used to you. This is a good and proper reaction and here it is important NOT to miss your chance. Here is a list of articles that will give a minimal understanding of what to do, but I would recommend taking the Ex Factor course and looking at everything holistically (I’ll link below)