How to get rid of guilt
wikiHow operates on the principle of a wiki, which means that many of our articles are written by multiple authors. When this article was created, 33 people(s) worked on editing and improving it, including anonymously.
The number of views on this article: 11 658.
All people feel guilty from time to time. Although this feeling often leads to positive changes, it often becomes a cause of self-destruction and wasted energy and brings unnecessary stress to life. This article will help you understand how you can deal with guilt in order to get rid of it completely or at least partially.
Think about whether you really have to feel guilt right now. Guilt is a manifestation of the restlessness of the mind, and in some cases it is appropriate. If, after long reflection, you come to the conclusion that you were wrong and that you should feel guilty now, think about how you can rectify the situation. Act, and this will allow you to avoid another feeling that often manifests along with feelings of guilt: shame.
Sort out your feelings. Try to analyze all of your feelings and emotions to see if you really feel guilty. Guilt comes to us when we think about past events, while anxiety is about the present or the future. If you are experiencing anxiety, learn to relax.
“I let the dog off the leash and he got hit by a car. I feel guilty because the dog died and we all loved him.”
- “I can’t give the dog back, but I can apologize to my parents. I will make a conclusion from this situation.”
- “I will make arrangements to retake the exam and prepare for it. I will do everything in my power to successfully close the session.”
- “We can get back together with Masha, but it will be a temporary solution because I don’t feel happy with her, and we’ll go back to where we started. I could try to appease her, but that would only make things worse. I’ve run through all the options. There’s nothing I can do to make it right somehow.”
- “From now on, I will always keep animals on a leash on my walk.”
- “From now on, I will always prepare for exams so I won’t risk my place at university.”
- “Masha was too dependent on me. I won’t date girls like that anymore, because it will end badly.”
If you still feel guilty, tell yourself that the feeling is inappropriate and unproductive. For example: “I did everything I could to make things right. My guilt can no longer have any positive consequences.”
Move on with your life. Don’t focus on the negative and banish the bad thoughts-they cause shame and self-loathing. Acknowledge that no one is perfect and that all people make mistakes, but you won’t make that mistake again. Get busy doing things that make you enjoy life and love yourself, as well as things that allow you to do good things. Think about the mistake that once triggered guilt that allowed you to change for the better.
How to get rid of guilt
Guilt is, for the time being, a good and proper feeling. An adult should feel remorse when he or she does things that hurt other people. However, many people manipulate us by using guilt. In addition, prolonged ashes on our heads are fraught with psychosomatic disorders.
If a person has no guilt at all, there is an instant increase in permissiveness-everyone knows such people. However, almost any of the hundreds of emotions and feelings, when dwelled on for a long time, can make a person crazy. Each emotion, when repeatedly experienced and replayed in the mind, leads to an emotional imbalance. Guilt eats away at us from the inside. The proper behavior for a rational adult is to worry for a moment about what he or she did, to have some sort of purge, to understand clearly what he or she did wrong and what motivated it. After that you need to pull yourself together and think about how to fix the situation. Many people don’t even get to the second step. They play the record over and over again without doing anything else. The consequence of all this is a shattered psyche and a feeling of inferiority.
How to get rid of guilt
Sometimes the feeling of guilt penetrates so deeply into a person’s psyche that he may not even realize what is wrong with him. He characterizes his condition as mental pain. That’s why the first point is so important.
Identify all the occasions for which you feel guilty
If you dig well, everyone has a lot of subconscious or sticking to the surface of life situations for which he feels guilty. Find them all. Understand why and what you feel guilty about and describe your emotions. The best way in this case is to stay alone with yourself and carefully analyze your past. It is quite possible that the people and situations in front of which we have this feeling, a good dozen. No alcohol during the analysis, be honest with yourself to the end.
Identify the people who manipulate your guilt.
In this way, you may find that you don’t have to feel guilty in front of half the people. These situations are usually far-fetched. Your transgression may not have been as terrible as some people want to speculate about it.
Talk to the people in front of whom you are experiencing this feeling.
Just putting it out of your mind and forgetting is certainly possible, but assuming you’re a decent person, that’s not your solution (at this point). Ask for forgiveness, that is often enough. You will draw conclusions later, but now it is important to admit that you were wrong. This stage is the most difficult, but the rewards can be huge. The person who forgave you, let go of your own guilt, it will be replaced by relief, a light and pleasant feeling. And saying it out loud will not allow you to bury this guilt even deeper. And remember, it’s always the strong one who apologizes.
By forgiving yourself, you not only relieve yourself of a huge burden, but also promises to draw conclusions.
Realize that you have already done all you can.
You have apologized to people, acknowledged your emotions, and drawn conclusions. There is nothing more you can do at this point. This is an important stage, a kind of a crossover between the past and the future.
Do good deeds.
When guilt eats away at us from all sides, that’s when we start to feel like a bad person. If you do good things, you notice that you can’t be bad. You don’t have to spend huge sums of money, sometimes a few nice words and actions are enough. Doing good deeds is nice, it’s only worth starting. Selfishness is not attractive.
This is a great practice that will normalize your emotional background. After a lot of stress caused by guilt, you need to get yourself in shape. Meditation is not only calming, it allows you to take a sober look at your life and your inner conflicts.
Simple and clear affirmations will help you first believe and then become a person who, even though he makes mistakes, is a worthy member of the human race.
Determine the standards by which you will judge yourself
The mere suggestion that you are a good person is not enough. You must know what for you is unacceptable behavior and actions, and judge yourself on the basis of these, defined by you, and not by others, criteria.
Increase your emotional intelligence
A person can experience hundreds of emotions, don’t get hung up on a couple of dozen. The problem with many people is that if they experience a bad emotion, they experience it in full, without a variety of nuances. You’re either experiencing guilt or you’re happy. When your emotional intelligence is trained, you can easily get out of guilt like steps. First guilt, then forgiveness, light sadness, thoughtfulness, and eventually come to relief and normalcy. Jumping over the wall of guilt in a hurry is almost impossible. Do things gradually.
The overwhelming number of times we can feel guilty for happen when we are not in control of our emotions. Control your anger, in time to recognize its emergence in the form of irritability and anger. It’s not just about doing bad things all the time and working with guilt afterwards, it’s about minimizing situations where you act unworthily.
Leave your opinion on guilt and how to get rid of it in the comments.