Friendship between a man and a woman: true or false
“Friendship between a man and a woman is an impossible thing. Between them there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love, but not friendship.” This statement is not in vain widespread in our time. Indeed – how to imagine that friendship between a man and a woman is possible? How realistic is a relationship without romantic or sexual overtones of two people of different sexes?
Deservedly – this is one of the main questions of study by psychologists. Previously, such a situation seemed impossible because of the unequal position of girls and men in society. With today’s equality, such friendly “couples” are no longer surprising. However, skepticism remains in most cases. It is hard for outsiders to imagine crystal clear companionship between people of different sexes without love, flirting, or passion.
In this article we will try to figure out if there is a real friendship between a man and a woman, as well as what psychology says about it? Or is it just an intermediate stage between sympathy and love feelings of two buddies, not indifferent to each other?
Does friendship exist between a man and a woman?
It is impossible to put a definitive point on this question. Everyone relies on personal practical experience. Some managed to maintain trust, understanding with a childhood friend. And someone on the basis of common interests met his love. I propose to consider what leads to friendship between a man and a woman in terms of psychology, as well as to identify the main stages of the origin of these relationships.
Usually the first friends appear in early childhood. In the process of joint games, entertainment child understands who he is more interesting and sympathetic. You can also notice that the kids do not divide mates by gender: they play perfectly well all together. Division of the company into “girls” and “boys” happens a little later. This is facilitated by growing up, the emergence of new hobbies.
In the world of teenagers is a completely different picture. Representatives of this age group are gradually getting acquainted with the basics of adult life. Including learning to build social relationships with the opposite sex. But teenagers are yesterday’s children. For many of them, it is very important to have someone close in spirit to whom they can confide. Quite often it is different-sex friends can boast of complete understanding, mutual support.
Of course, a large percentage of these couples are faced with the transformation of friendship feelings into something more. But it’s not always the case that both are willing to risk friendship for romantic endeavors. According to studies, guys’ friendship with an interesting girl more often implies further development and transition to the stage of love. At the same time, ladies are more inclined to “leave things as they are” and then fall in love with completely different guys. This is where the proverbial Friendzone begins, which every guy in love is afraid to get into.
Signs of true friendship
Psychologists distinguish 5 main signs by which you can determine how real is the friendship between an adult man and woman:
- Lack of sexual attraction. Relationships in which there is a place for unambiguous hints, flirting, it is difficult to call “purely friendly. Emotional development between the two partners can not remain at the level of flirtatious glances and witty compliments. Sooner or later one of you will want more. Your connection will either move to the next level, or just end.
Mates have no desire to play this kind of “cat-and-mouse” game. If a guy or girl doesn’t set out to be liked, their relationship is as honest and open as possible. Real friends don’t try to look better than they really are. After all, they are loved for what they are in real life.
- Everyone has their own personal territory. The lack of romantic attraction between different-sex friends does not interfere in any way, even helps in arranging a personal life with other partners. The mate knows exactly your marital status, and under favorable circumstances, knows your spouse.
A bonus is advice and recommendation from a real representative of the other sex. You can say you have a secret agent in the opposite camp who will share secrets and explain your potential lover’s behavior.
- There are no inhibitions and no taboos. In the case where the friendship between a man and a woman involves only a buddy relationship, new acquaintances do not bother anyone. A free guy can easily start an affair with one of your girlfriends. And you, in return, ask your friend for an acquaintance with his handsome unmarried colleague. For real friends, this is the norm. But if your requests you get refusal or unwillingness to discuss the subject, it’s a reason to think twice.
- In the first place is the woman you love. No matter how close you are with a boyfriend friend, it is logical and right that his life partner will always be a priority. Buddy will help you in a difficult situation with advice, will come to the rescue when possible. But if a man throws all his affairs, work, even family, and then rushes to you across town after the first call, the case here, most likely, far from friendship. This rule works in the opposite situation. The interests of your friend cannot be more important than the requests of your husband or boyfriend.
- Alcohol Testing. Are there one hundred percent methods to test whether a man loves or is friends with a girl? Of course, there are guys who will hide their true intentions to the last. But the saying “What’s in a sober man’s mind …” is not for nothing so popular among the people. Good old alcohol loosens up and helps to bring hidden human feelings out of the shadows. Light alcoholic drinks and a secluded atmosphere put everything in its place. In the case of sympathy, drunken man begins to actively show attention to the object of his passion. You feel it in words, looks, attempts to lightly touch. If the behavior towards you did not change, even after several glasses of wine, then most likely you are just a friend in a female guise.
Types of friendship between a man and a woman
What types of relationships are possible in the case of two different-sex friends:
- friends-lovers. Quite a common situation when two people with common interests have a love affair. On the psychological side, if the communication between a man and a woman involves mutual sexual interest, the outcome of this relationship is the most favorable. You have similar hobbies, views on life, dreams, plans for the future. Add to this romantic attraction – ready to create a perfect base for a harmonious couple;
- friendship sex. Do you think this is only found in movies? Real life is often much more impressive. Buddies who choose this format are usually not in a serious relationship. A proven reliable person acts as a sexual partner. At first glance, a promising scheme. Problems will begin if one of the friends goes beyond “just sex.” After all, no one is immune to the emergence of other feelings;
- Marriage is not an obstacle for friends. It is wonderful when in a married couple, the man is not only a support for the woman, but also a faithful companion. According to statistics, such marriages are the strongest and most durable. Where else can a wife look for a better friend of the man, but in the face of his beloved spouse?
- “friends only.” That variant in which the guy befriends the girls without any intimate hints, and vice versa. Most do not believe in the existence of “disinterested” relationships between the sexes. Some claim to have long and successful friendships with members of the opposite sex. How pure this intimacy is, only the buddies themselves know.
Friendship between the sexes: pros and cons
Before you add your good acquaintance in the eternal friendzone, or say a firm “no” to male friends, analyze the pros and cons of such a connection.
- honesty. The likelihood that a friend will lie or cheat is much higher. The male sex rarely flatter or leave fake comments. Gentlemen are used to saying what they think. Therefore, you can always count on an honest opinion with them;
- absence of envy. What do friends of different sexes have to share? That’s right – nothing. With a guy-buddy a girl definitely will not have to compete for the attention of the next handsome guy. Or for the last pair of brand shoes on sale. No competition means a stronger relationship;
- Another opinion. A friendship between a man and a woman is a chance to learn the truth about “Mars and Venus” firsthand. Who else will adequately assess the behavior of your boyfriend/girlfriend, if not the representative of the other sex himself.
- Danger of getting too close. Adherents of the opinion that friendship between a man and a woman does not happen, immediately call the first disadvantage of such a relationship. This is true – the likelihood of romantic feelings in one of the parties is quite high. Further communication in any case will be burdened with problems. Either the partner in love will have to suffer and hide their intentions, or it is worth opening up with a great risk of losing a reliable friend;
- risk of loss. When good acquaintances, former classmates, or colleagues disappear from your life, it is always difficult. But when it comes to a close friend – the blow will be heavy. Therefore, the friendship of a man and a woman psychology often estimates as a period that can end quickly and with powerful emotional losses.
What men think about friendship with a woman
It is the stronger half more often states that a man can not be friends with a woman. They are the ones who start a friendship in order to move on to the stage of intimacy and love. Therefore, it is especially interesting to find out if guys allow the possibility of such a relationship to exist.
So, when friendship between a man and a woman is possible – the opinion of men:
- Having a family. A happy reliable marriage is a serious protection against cheating, looking for connections on the side. It is really possible to communicate, to be friends with other girls, based on common hobbies without sexual overtones. The only advice – try to choose married girlfriends with a full family. Otherwise, one day you can become the object of women’s jealousy and squabbles;
- childhood friends. Adults have a chance of being “just friends” if the childhood and teenage periods have passed without problems. You are both familiar with all the nuances of your characters, experienced joys and disappointments together. Most likely, a childhood friend will remain a “battle buddy” if mutual attraction and sympathy did not visit you during puberty;
- other “interests”. Do not forget about male friends with non-traditional sexual orientation. All the risks in this case are minimized. Both for the girl and for her husband or boyfriend.
Friendship or not: the psychology of friendship between a man and a woman
The need to communicate, socialization, the formation of close contacts – one of the basic needs of man. Beginning at an early age, young people and adolescents are looking for their place in society, learning to build relationships. Including the opposite sex. Through friendships can find support for a long time, and sometimes for life.
Is the friendship between a man and a woman – the psychologists’ opinion is not particularly categorical. Relationships of different-sex friends may encounter difficulties that are unknown to the maiden or male company. However, this does not mean that this format of communication does not exist.
Whether or not to be friends is up to you. Weigh the pros and cons, talk to your mate about your real feelings. If a person does not give you reason to doubt, do not lose this close relationship because of social stereotypes or other people’s bad experiences.
The main thing to remember – any friendship is stronger if it creates honest, unselfish people. And it does not matter what gender or age they are. Of course, do not discount the differences in male and female nature. But for true friends, gender differences won’t be a serious hindrance. In today’s reality, we are increasingly choosing people of our level, which attracts us, motivates us. So the main criterion for selecting friends is personal desires, not selection according to any physiological criteria.
What awaits a man and a woman who have decided to become just friends
Relationships between a man and a woman are devoted to a lot of materials to begin to understand this issue at least at the level of the beginner.
If you are not very lazy and ready for new knowledge, then in conditions of the overflowing information of the modern world, to become a first-class male in principle should not be very difficult. However, among all the variety of books, movies, seminars and trainings on how to win a woman’s heart in fifteen seconds, there remains one big gap, which is called friendship between a man and a woman.
Whether a man will communicate with a woman just for fun, without claiming to be a husband or “Boyfriend”, whether he will become a true friend and what in the end may result in such a friendship, no one knows! However, today we will try on the blog bursin.ru to understand this difficult question, and start, perhaps, with men, because they are often the initiators of such ambiguous, and sometimes frighteningly strange friendship. Let’s go!
Which of the men is capable of being friends with a woman, and why?
Why is it that all of a sudden a man can begin to create a “Friendzone” between himself and a woman? As a rule, such friendship can begin against the backdrop of experienced or experienced stresses, worries or just life’s troubles, they in turn are a consequence of the format of life, which a particular man has determined for himself, except for one “But”.
So only three types of men can be potential friends for a woman:
- The first type includes self-sufficient men who are not familiar with stress, sadness, despair, and other similar phrases from women’s vocabulary. For such males of the MISP class (an analogue of female GISP and solo life), where “Man goes his own way”, friendship with a woman is in principle an ideal tool for satisfying one-time needs. Therefore, such a friendly alliance, as a consequence, lasts until the first intimacy;
- The second type of man can share the podcasts of the infamous CBM (Men’s Movement) list an infinite number of times. These are the “Baborabs,” seeking solace, and the outright “Lochs,” for whom friendship with a woman is at least some light into the realm of personal dignity, and simply “Real Men,” for whom friendship with a woman becomes a real chance to get up off all fours. Another thing to keep in mind is that you can be a member of her “alien ring” as a backup just in case, but such guys are usually not appreciated, but just skillfully used for their own purposes by mercenary females. It is unlikely that you, something will work out, and you will have to wait first for your turn, while they will pay attention to you, about love and sincerity I am even silent here. That is why the best option when it happens is just to merge in time;
- The third type includes a man who knows that he is a man, what masculine qualities and virtues are, and what to do with them, but due to circumstances he has lost faith in his masculine “I”. Friendship with a woman in his case can be simply an escape from himself, because inner feelings often only reinforce the factors that brought such a man to this list.
With a man from the first list, especially if he is a “Masculist”, i.e. an active follower of the masculine movement, nothing will work out for a woman who expects a long and happy relationship, ending in her dreams with two nearby mounds in the cemetery. Neither will it work with the man on the second list, because why would she want a brain-deprived “Slave-Down” for whom friendship with her will somehow affect his self-esteem? That leaves the last option, where in principle a friendship between a man and a woman will probably lead to something more.
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There is no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman.
Everyone and on every corner keeps saying that, and it’s hard to disagree with that. There is a friendship, when he or she is willing to help each other to solve difficult problems, there is a relationship disguised as friendship, which eventually ends unexpectedly for all the marriage. It is not uncommon for men to have psychological disorders, which he carefully masquerades as friendship with a woman.
But what do men think of friendship with a woman? In many cases, such friendship is reduced to, albeit long, but an effective plan to bring women to bed, or a temporary pastime until the moment when a man will have a worthy of his attention mate. Well, or a typical representative of the “forum morons” who, having read zombified messages of the same vegetables as he is, decided to start a correspondence with the lady of his dreams has appeared on the way of a woman. It’s very rare that a true, faithful friend shows up as a contender.
Friendship in correspondence
Speaking of texting. It’s strange if an older man says, “We correspond, but we don’t date.” With a woman, of course. Pen pals are a very strange phenomenon in general, concerning only elementary schoolchildren, but not adult men looking for female friendship on the Internet. This raises another question: “Will a guy write for nothing?”
If this guy has a normal potency and his self-esteem is at a normal level, of course not. In all other cases, a woman needs to be prepared to meet surprises, such as:
- A married man who wants to be friends or seeks solace on the side;
- A single man with the most unpredictable goals in life;
- The post-divorce man who has joined the men’s movement, who knows firsthand what a woman’s Divorce, useless “Coolness” and “Cabal” are all about;
- A man in the midst of a divorce is also an unpredictable type of man who can use his friendship with a woman in many different ways;
- A man who is a widower with children. This type of man often seeks a woman’s friendship, which may involve the possibility of mutual help to each other, but no more than that.
Here it is worth paying attention to the fundamental difference between male and female friendship. In the women’s understanding of friendship with a man is a kind of initial stage before a long family life. A man’s friendship is a tested relationship for years, sealed the concept of “best friend”, “loyalty”, “loyalty”, “sacrifice.
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What makes a man to be friends with a woman
If a man offers friendship to a woman (Not an “Alain,” catering to “Vaginal Parasites”), it is important to understand the problems that led such a man to this decision. We are talking specifically about problems, and there may be quite a few of them:
- The woman isn’t attractive enough, but she’ll do just fine for a friendly get-together. The classic answer to the question, “Will a guy hang out with a girl he’s not attracted to?”
- Financial instability in life, which is easiest to hide at the friendship stage;
- Real problems with men’s health, such as potency;
- Lack of his own home. A common problem that causes men to get stuck in the friendship stage for a long time, which is not a good thing;
- Insecurity, which usually settles in the minds of men after a failed relationship.
When a guy doesn’t want a relationship, but wants to communicate, and such communication drags on so long that a woman begins to get covered in wrinkles before realizing that almost her whole life has passed her by, it’s hard to call such a friendship … um … Friendship.
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How Women Determine the Type of Men
It is very difficult for a woman to understand what a man’s friendship is, so in such a friendship she will start looking for a loophole leading to a happy marriage day anyway. Here it is also important to understand that if a man wants to be with a woman he will, at least as a friend, husband, buddy, or just a good companion, able to help from time to time to solve difficult problems.
The psychology of a woman in this case can scare a man and make him sharply determine his position in life in relation to her:
- So a typical woman is likely to take a long pause for up to a month after beginning a friendship, during which time the male friend will either leave or take steps to court her, find a new job, buy a house, and so on;
- Another insidious step can be a dramatic change in behavior, appearance, lifestyle. Becoming attractive, bold and unpredictable, a woman can also provoke a man to decide what to do;
- A classic of the genre – a woman’s request to solve such a complex issue, where the only thing that can help is great connections, legal support, or the breakthrough power of the male character;
- Make a nasty and wait for the result – the usual behavior of a woman who wants to understand who is near her and whether she should count on anything at all.
In this way, all “Baborabs”, “Downs” and “MISPs” are immediately repulsed, and only the best friend, or the man who will be willing to consider this woman as the basis for starting a family in the future, is left around. These simple techniques help a woman determine the type of man, see if this relationship has any future, and generally whether such a friendship is necessary for both of them.
It is important for a woman to understand why a man has a friendship with her. If the guy can’t explain it with his behavior, actions, or at least just words, then you shouldn’t count on a purely friendly relationship either.
Firstly, they can be devastating for the woman, deprived of a chance in the company of a male friend to make a real relationship, which is destined to become a guarantee of family happiness. Secondly, if there is no practical benefits of such friendships, and any attempt to make a woman man to determine the choice ends in failure, there is a risk of permanently depriving a woman of faith in men.
Man in turn may assert his wrongdoing and find in a friendship with a woman a kind of comfort zone, which will resemble an ice house fox from the well-known fairy tale. As a result, the end of such friendship becomes resentment, despair, depression and loss of any meaning to create something more than just a friendship with a woman.